The 12 Qualities of a Healthy Relationship that Keep Couples Happy

Relationships are a lot of work. But, if together you have these qualities of a healthy relationship covered, then you’re on the right path to harmony.

By knowing what the ideal traits and qualities of a healthy relationship are, you’ll be able to take personal responsibility and work on yourself for the sake of your relationship. Of course, your partner should work on the relationship as well. Love is a two-way street.

The 12 qualities of a healthy relationship that keep couples together

When I first started dating my partner, I was pretty convinced I was perfect. I wish I was joking, but I’m not. Okay, wait, I was insecure about my looks, weight, etc. But personality-wise, I thought I was solid.

Once I started dating my partner, it all came apart. My flaws, flaws I didn’t see, were poking out, and I was forced to confront them.

That’s not easy, especially when you’ve been living the single life, thinking you’re the closest thing to human perfection *okay, I wasn’t that bad—I swear!*. But as I started to work on myself, I started realizing about the importance of the ideal qualities of a healthy relationship, and what it takes to keep two lovers happy and together.

I learned to communicate my feelings, practice empathy, and understand what my partner needs from a relationship.

[Read: 15 signs of a healthy relationship you should always look for]

And we’re still working on building the foundations to ensure we remember these qualities of a healthy relationship. You may be thinking, “why is it taking so long?” Well, the thing is the work never ends. You should practice and work on your weaknesses constantly.

And, yes, there are times where I get a little lazy, and those are the times where I usually don’t communicate my feelings or ignore my partner’s need for a hug or kiss. I mean, I’m only human. However, we know the building blocks and the ideal qualities of a healthy relationship.

Let’s get back to the love basics. If you’re looking for a healthy romance, these are the qualities of a healthy relationship you really need to really focus on. [Read: The most encouraging early signs of a good relationship]

#1 Mutual respect. If you don’t respect each other, you don’t have a healthy relationship. A relationship cannot last without mutual respect. If there’s a lack of respect, then you open yourself up to abuse. Relationships aren’t easy, and you’re going to have tough conversations, but mutual respect will help you get through anything. [Read: How self-respect impacts you and your relationship]

#2 You fight fair. Every couple has their moments where they get on each other’s nerves or say something that offended the other person. Of course, an argument may arise, but a healthy relationship isn’t based on who can hurt the other person more or a battle of who’s smarter than who. When you fight, it’s done fairly without the intention to hurt each other.

#3 Laughter. Now, there’s laughing at someone else’s expense, and then there’s sharing a laugh together. The are very different things. Of course, there will be times when something funny happens to your partner, and you’ll laugh. But, you should be able to sit down with your partner and laugh together. [Read: The 10 signs your partner is truly supportive of you]

#4 Understand the language of love. That’s right. There is more than one language of love. Most people don’t realize we have different ways of showing love. There are actually five different love languages: physical touch, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and words of affirmation. Not everyone shows love the same way. By knowing how another communicates love, you build a stronger relationship.

#5 Boundaries. When you think of the ideal qualities of a healthy relationship, you don’t think of boundaries. Instead, we assume our relationship is where we can be who we are and feel comfortable and free. And that is true, but we also have personal boundaries. For example, losing your temper and yelling at your partner is a boundary that cannot be crossed as it damages the relationship. [Read: 15 rules that’ll make you a much better partner]

#6 You respect each other’s families. When your partner doesn’t like spending time with your family, that’s hard. It places a lot of stress and anxiety on you. Listen, they don’t need to be in love with your parents and vice versa, but there has to be a level of respect. When you marry your partner, you’re also marrying their family.

#7 You can talk about tough things. Relationships aren’t all rainbows and butterflies; there are going to be moments where you’re going to have to discuss difficult topics. But, if you can’t talk about these things with your partner, then who will you talk about them with?

Communication is one of the biggest problems for couples. Work on having a solid base of communication, and you will overcome everything. [Read: Easy communication exercises for couples to communicate better]

#8 Mutual commitment. A healthy relationship is built on trust. Of course, there are different types of relationships out there, for example, monogamous or polyamorous. But, regardless of their structure, they should have a commitment from everyone involved. By committing, you invest in the relationship and accept the good and bad times that lie ahead.

#9 Teamwork. When you’re in a relationship, it’s not just about you. You also have your partner by your side. Aside from good communication and respect for each other, you must work together as a team. Be there to support your partner and vice versa. If you can’t have that, then why even be in a relationship? [Read: Healthy relationship expectations that define a good love life]

#10 Empathy. This is one of the most important qualities of a healthy relationship that really matters. Empathy is being able to understand and feel someone else other than yourself. You need to be able to walk in your partner’s shoes. Maybe they have had a hard day at work, and if you don’t understand them, you won’t be able to provide them the support they need.

In a relationship, if you don’t have empathy, you’ll suffer from a lack of communication and understanding. 

#11 Shared value. When you’re in a relationship, you want to feel like you have a purpose in it. You’re not just filling in a position; you’re with your partner for a reason. You feel comfortable, safe, and cared for. Is this relationship really good for you? It may seem like a selfish thought, but if it’s not making you feel good, then you can’t contribute to the relationship. [Read: Should you lower your expectations to find love?]

#12 Neither of you are perfect. And you both know it. Everyone has flaws, but accepting these flaws and imperfections is one of the important qualities of a healthy relationship. You’re not here to change your partner and vice versa. A healthy relationship is one where both people accept their flaws and continue to love each other though knowing of these imperfections.

[Read: 25 must-follow relationship rules for successful love]

Knowing the ideal qualities of a healthy relationship is crucial, especially when we’re living in a world where an unhealthy relationship can be glorified **cough* Twilight *cough**. But if you’re truly want to be happy in your real-life romance, focus on these real foundations of a relationship.