Kissed Your Ex or Made Out with Them? What It Means & What to Do Next

Many of us have done things we’re not proud of, like kissing an ex. You can’t go back in time and change it, but here are a few things you can do.

You thought it was just a harmless get-together where you would reminisce about the old times and show your ex how much better you are now. But then you kissed your ex and ended up in a lip-lock without realizing how it even started. It happened. Now, you have to deal with it.

Why you kissed your ex

No matter who started it, the point is that you both allowed it to happen. The fact that you and your ex kissed means that there are still lingering feelings between the two of you. It’s not necessarily love, but it does prove that you two are still attracted to each other.

[Read: Still attached to your ex? 26 signs, why it happens and how to break free]

When two people who broke up reconcile in any form – be it with a date, a kiss, or even sex – it rekindles something between the two of you. It’s not necessarily something good. More often than not, reconciling with an ex can lead to consequences.

Why kissing an ex is usually a very bad idea

If you think that kissing your ex is a bad idea, ask yourself why that is. Some see it as a sign of hope and wish for it to pave the way for something new, now that some time has passed and you two have changed.

But if you don’t see it that way, it could be because you don’t want to start over with someone you’ve already dated and gotten over.

If you’re wondering if kissing your ex or making out with them is a bad idea, here are a few reasons why you’re probably right.

1. They’re just in it for the hook-up

Your ex thinks your history makes it okay for them to try something with you. It doesn’t mean that they want to rehash old memories and feelings. They simply don’t want to bother with someone new.

It’s perfectly fine if this is what you want, and you also don’t have any romantic feelings left for them. But if you agree to sleep with them, hoping it’ll make them change their mind and feel something for you again, it probably won’t end well. [Read: Sex with an ex – When is it a good idea and when should you steer clear of it?]

2. You broke up for a reason

Whether you two ended on good terms, it was mutual, or one of you called it off. You two had thought about it thoroughly before making that decision and going through with it.

Yes, people do change, and you two might work if you give it another go, but you can never continue where you left off. You need time to get to know them as a new person.

And if you ended on bad terms and that reason has never been resolved, kissing your ex might make those issues bubble up to the surface again.

3. They might want to get back together even if you don’t

Kissing is an intimate act that can trigger the basest of feelings like lust. In many circumstances, it can also trigger feelings of love and affection. If you have no intention of getting back together, kissing might give your ex the wrong idea. [Read: 24 reasons why your ex still texts & stays in touch]

4. You could fall for your ex again

You have made a conscientious effort to move on, don’t let this sudden tryst ruin it. If you still have a soft spot for your ex, kissing them could rekindle old feelings and all your closure effort will go down the drain.

5. They might already be in a relationship

If you kissed your ex knowing that they’re seeing someone else, you have just crossed into dangerous territory. Not only did you put yourself in a situation where you’ll end up as the third party, but you have voluntarily acted in a way that could hurt someone else.

And if they’re willing to cheat on their current partner with you, what makes you think they’ll be faithful to you, if you two ever get back together? [Read: Your boyfriend still talks to his ex? 21 warning signs you MUST know]

6. You might be in a relationship

No matter how much history you have, cheating is always inexcusable. One kiss may seem small to you, but the person you’re seeing won’t feel that way.

You may say that it meant nothing, that you feel sorry, that you regret it, but it won’t be easy to fully gain back your partner’s trust.

[Read: What is cheating in a relationship? The truth most people ignore]

7. You can’t help but overthink

Kissing your ex could mean so many things, but not knowing what these are could disrupt your peaceful life.

You might end up overthinking and dealing with unnecessary stress and anxiety. In the end, you’ll need to confront your ex about it – which is something you wouldn’t be excited about.

What to do when you kissed or made out with your ex

If kissing your ex is such a big issue for you, you can decide how to handle it. You can confront the situation to get some closure, or you can put it in the past once more and move on.

1. Think about how and why it happened

Ask yourself what you want now that the damage is done. Do you want to get back together? Do you want to label it a mistake and leave it in the past?

It’s up to you. Just make sure that the decision you make is one that will ultimately make you happy.

2. Talk to your ex

Communication is always the best way to clear anxiety if you still have many questions that need answers. Discuss what happened and ask your ex what they want to do about it. The choice is not just yours – it’s theirs too.

No matter how they choose to handle the situation, stand your ground, and explain your side so there won’t be any misunderstandings. [Read: 20 signs your ex wants you back and can’t stop thinking about you]

3. You don’t have to get back together

One kiss doesn’t mean you have to get back with them. You might be wrong for kissing them, but they weren’t clueless, so don’t let them guilt-trip you into getting back with them if you don’t want to.

Be gentle with your rejection and be reasonable. It’s not easy to reject your ex as you may feel like you’re experiencing the breakup all over again.

So it’s best to have a clear mind and a strong heart to know exactly what is best for both of you. [Read: Does my ex want me back? How to decode their deepest desires]

4. It doesn’t mean they want you back

You may assume that them kissing you means they want you back or at least still have feelings for you. That is not always the case. Sometimes, it’s you projecting your feelings on them.

At the end of the day, you two are still broken up, and they don’t owe you anything, and vice versa. Rein your feelings in and deal with the heartbreak.

Just remember that you managed to move forward before the kiss, which means you can do it again.

5. Don’t keep this a secret from your partner

It’s not easy to tell your partner that you cheated. Yes, one kiss still counts as cheating, even if it meant nothing more than that. Every person will take this differently, but no matter how your partner reacts to the kiss, it’s best to be honest with them.

Let them know why you kissed your ex, what made you do it, and why you realized it was wrong. Be as genuine as you can. They may choose to forgive you, or not. It’s not up to you to decide. You did a terrible thing, and you have to own up to it.

And don’t even think about lying. The truth always comes out. [Read: How to rebuild trust after cheating – 11 things an ex-cheater MUST do]

6. Do not get involved with your ex’s current relationship

Yes, your ex cheated with you, but it doesn’t mean you should plunge yourself into their relationship. Let your ex handle it on their own. It’s not your mess to clean up *unless their partner is someone you know, then you also owe them an apology*.

If their partner confronts you, try to avoid personal contact at all costs. Have an honest conversation, explain everything, and apologize like an adult. You can leave a message if you want, but that will hardly count as a deterrent to the rage you invoked.

7. Don’t make a big deal out of it

If you think it was a mistake, treat it like one. Learn from it. Move on, and don’t do it again.

It might be difficult to forget that it happened. You might even beat yourself up for it and think about what you could have done differently.

But the damage has been done. Unless you could build a time machine and stop yourself from doing it, just let it become nothing more than a distant memory. [Read: How to forgive yourself for cheating]

How to prevent it from happening again

Kissing your ex was probably something that you wanted to do. But in retrospect, you may have some regrets about what happened. Your ex might want to do it again, though. So, here’s how you can prevent it from happening again.

1. Delete your ex’s number

If you have it memorized, think about how wrong it is for you to type it on your phone every time you think you want to call or text them. [Read: 20 honest and sneaky reasons why your ex still texts and stay in touch]

2. Delete them from your social media accounts

Block them if you must. Just erase any evidence of them in your life for now. Until this blows over, you can’t control what may happen if you see an adorable picture of your ex smiling at you from the tiny screen on your phone.

3. Talk to your friends

Our friends always hate our exes more than we do. So the next time you feel like missing your ex, just talk to your friends.

It’s great to receive support and have a safe space to rant without feeling judged. Your friends will be more than happy to give you a thousand reasons why your ex didn’t deserve you.

4. If you must talk about what happened, do it once and never again

Deal with what you need to, but don’t linger on the subject. Consider your last conversation with your ex as the closure that you need.

And if you can’t even trust yourself to be alone with them, have the conversation in public, then go home. [Read: 20 best questions to ask your ex after a breakup to get the closure you need]

5. Don’t dwell on the kiss

It’s no surprise that it will pop up in your head over time, but you have to block it out whenever it does happen. Thinking about the kiss, especially if it was a really good kiss, will only make you want to do it again.

The tip is to constantly remind yourself why you two didn’t work out in the first place. One kiss will not change that.

6. Avoid any events that your ex will attend

And if you really must go, go with your friends. You can always trust them to ‘protect’ you from your ex. This is just a temporary fix.

You can start attending parties with your ex once you’re sure that you won’t end up kissing them ever again. [Read: 19 super cool ways to show your ex you don’t care when you run into them]

7. Date someone else

Don’t allow that kiss to stop you from seeing other people. You’re not on the rebound because you and your ex are not in a relationship anymore.

You’re free to see other people, and it will help convince you that the kiss you shared with your ex was nothing more than a parting gift.

Kissing your ex matters only if you want it to. You’re both adults. You can do whatever you want. Just make sure that you’re aware of the consequences and that you are duly prepared to face them.

[Read: The no contact rule – What it is, how it works and why it’s so darn effective!]

It’s helpful to know why you kissed or made out with your ex in the first place, but it’s more important to acknowledge that it’s a bad idea. Keep these tips in mind the next time you almost succumb to your ex, and don’t let the same mistake happen twice!