How to Read the Signs You’re Being Stashed in Your Relationship

As if the dating world isn’t hard enough, now you have to consider stashing. But are you seeing these signs you’re being stashed in your relationship?

If you’re wondering to yourself, what in the world does it mean to be stashed in a relationship!? It’s a new trend in the dating world. And it’s time you learned the signs you’re being stashed in your relationship.

In today’s dating world, there are new trends popping up every five minutes. Most of the time, we’re not up-to-date until they happen to us. Then, when you’re busy googling their behavior online, you discover they’re a part of a trend.

[Read: 17 modern dating terms to help you master the evolving dating game]

What is stashing in a relationship?

Let’s start with what stashing is. You’ve introduced them to all your friends and family. They told you about their family and friends, but when it comes time to meet them, everything goes silent. They never ask you to come over to meet their best friend or to a family event.

[Read: The signs you’re wasting time in a one sided relationship]

You’re pretty sure that the relationship is exclusive. You didn’t speak about seeing other people and meeting friends, and family is the natural next step. But, if you’ve never met any of their friends or family, that’s a red flag. It sounds like you’re being stashed.

12 signs you’re being stashed in your relationship

This really just goes to show you the importance of communicating with each other and knowing where you stand. But if it’s clear what your relationship is, then there should be no stashing. Because no one wants to be stashed.

#1 They lovebomb you… in the beginning. Stashing behavior isn’t something that happens right away. Usually, everything is fine in the beginning, and then it slowly creeps up on you until one day you realize you’re being stashed.

At the start, they were all over you and throwing compliments at you every second, but that’s a huge red flag of someone who has some issues, whether it’s commitment or manipulation issues. [Read: What is love bombing? How to spot the early signs of this manipulation]  

#2 You’ve never met your partner’s family. Or friends. You just haven’t met anyone on their side of the relationship. You don’t know who their best friend is or their mom’s name. In fact, you don’t know anything. They’ve never introduced you to their friends and family, and it’s been awhile since you began dating.

#3 You don’t exist on their social media. At some point in the relationship, you post a picture with your partner, gushing over them. You don’t need to post a new photo every day, but occasionally, you want to show off your love. It’s perfectly normal. But you don’t exist on their social media. Even when you comment on their photos or posts, they reply to you as a friend. [Read: Here’s how to tell if a guy is playing you or not]

#4 You’re giving more and not getting anything from your partner. In the relationship, you’re investing a lot of time and energy into it. You go the extra mile to make sure your partner is happy, but they don’t reciprocate. This isn’t about your partner buying you things; this is about small acts of kindness to make you feel good. [Read: 15 signs of a taker who keeps taking in a relationship]

#5 They point the finger at you. Oh, it’s not their fault that they’re keeping you in the dark. In their minds, it’s your fault. Why? Who knows. It’s really a stupid way to justify treating someone with disrespect. But people will justify many horrible actions just to make sure they sleep at night. In this case, they blame you.

#6 They blame their friends for you being stashed. It’s not your fault that you can’t meet their friends, and it’s not their fault either. They make sure to find the perfect excuse to place the blame on someone else. In this case, since you don’t know their friends, they can easily make excuses, saying one of them randomly canceled or made a surprise visit while you weren’t around. 

#7 They don’t like it when you confront them. You’ve confronted them about this behavior because you think it’s weird *and it is weird*. But instead of them being understanding and working out a solution, they’re defensive and accuse you of attacking them.

Deep down, they know they’re not sure about the relationship and don’t want to lose their single status. [Read: How to stop being strung along by a guy and take a firm stand]

#8 You don’t spend much time in public. Well, you two don’t really spend any time in public. And when you are out, everything seems overly planned. You go to places that none of your friends have even heard of, and you definitely stay out of popular areas. It’s almost like they’re hiding you. Oh, wait…

#9 They keep their past a secret. What’s their dating history like? You probably don’t really know much about their past, and it makes sense. They probably know they don’t have the best dating history, and exposure to it would put a lot of the puzzle pieces together for you.

#10 Excuses, excuses, excuses. It’s not that you haven’t brought up the subject to them before. You have, and yes, they don’t like it, but more than that, they have a new excuse and reason why they act the way they do. Regardless of how good the excuse, you just don’t feel right.

#11 No PDA. They treat you more like a friend. In public, they don’t hold your hand, hug, or even kiss you on the cheek when people are around. Instead, they pull a high school dance move and make sure there’s a lot of light between you. When the minute you’re at home, they show affection. [Read: He’s not ready for a relationship right now: Should I wait or walk?]

#12 They bring up introducing you, but then go radio silent. Your partner mentioned their best friend is coming over this weekend and even suggested you come over to meet them. But the weekend has come and gone, and your partner was silent. They didn’t call you or invite you over; instead, they pretended like it never happened.

[Read: Dating vs. relationship and how to tell the true status of your relationship]

Really look at these signs you’re being stashed in your relationship. Figure out if you fit in them. If so, sit down and talk with your partner.