Getting Married Young: 42 Pros, Cons, Benefits & What Age is Too Young?

Marrying the right person is the ultimate happy ending. But getting married young has its challenges as well as joy. What can you expect? 

When we think about marriage, there are many feelings or ideas that come to mind. Some of us might have parents who have been married for 50 years. Others may have dealt with the pain that comes with divorce. There are a few of us that long to be married one day. And a select few who might not see the point behind the ritual.

But what about getting married young?

A lot of young people nowadays marry early in life. The truth is, there’s no perfect time to get hitched, and every person is going to have a different opinion about it. When it comes to getting married in your early 20s, it can be very rewarding and positive… if you’re truly ready to take it on.

[Read: Wedding night sex – how to make it an unforgettable experience]

Does young marriage increase your chances of divorce?

Marrying your first love may sound romantic, but it may not be the best way to ensure a happy marriage. Marriage statistics show that age at marriage is closely linked to the risk of divorce. Those who marry in their teens and early twenties are at great risk of divorce.

According to one survey, 53% of women who married as teenagers got divorced within 30 years. One in four people who married between the ages of 30 and 34 experienced a divorce by their 30th anniversary.

Only 7% of marriages between couples who were 45 to 49 years old experienced a divorce within 30 years, making them the most stable. [Read: Reasons you won’t stay with your first love]

Cons of getting married young

It’s time to take off your rose-colored glasses and face the harsh reality of marrying young. Let’s find out why it’s not always a beautiful fantasy. [Read: 22 marriage myths people blindly believe that ruin love forever]

1. You lost the freedom to be spontaneous

When you’re at the age when you’re still maturing, everything is about you: your work, your friends, and your social life. But now that you’re married, you have to share your time and attention with another individual.

When making dinner plans with your friends, you have to consider inviting your spouse. Solo traveling isn’t so easy anymore. You can’t take risks and go on spontaneous adventures, and for many couples, that’s a rude awakening.

[Read: Marriage advice – 20 real-life tips & lessons for a happily ever after]

2. You’ll never find out what else is out there

Marriage is meant to be the end-all and be-all of relationships. Once you’re married, you’re married. Therefore, if a couple marries early, they could regret later not dating around a bit more.

When you’re young, you don’t have that much to look back on and compare. Without knowing what the alternatives are, it’s easy to start thinking about the what-ifs. [Read: Not interested in dating? The reasons & why this is becoming the new normal]

3. You lost the chance to take career risks

When you decide to settle down, you might want to make sure that both of you have a consistent source of income. You may lose your professional freedom, particularly if you find your present job to be unfulfilling. [Read: How to balance your career, social life and dating life]

4. You missed out on the dating scene

Feeling of dissatisfaction and regret is very common among young married couples. When they hear their friends share stories about romantic relationships, they can’t help but feel like they didn’t get the chance to really experience dating. [Read: How to write a dating profile – 18 must-know tips to stand apart]

5. You didn’t get a chance to know your partner before marriage

Some young people rush into wedding plans earlier than they should, since they’re more impulsive than their older peers. So before marrying a person, it’s better to experience all seasons with a person, even if it doesn’t always happen. [Read: Long term relationship poll – what matters most?]

6. People change as they get older, and you might not appreciate the difference

People change, it’s an unavoidable reality. By the time you’re 40, you’ll realize that you’ve changed significantly from the person you are now when you’re in your 20s. Think about yourself as a teenager, you hardly recognize that version of yourself anymore.

For some, they change significantly farther from and without their partner. And this is why people who marry young frequently regret their choices.

7. Attraction can fade rapidly when you get married young

Many young couples discover that when they approach their early 20s, the attraction they once had during their teenage years starts to fade. [Read: 19 secrets to fall back in love with your partner when the attraction fades]

There is no genuine solution to salvage the connection if you don’t want to be near your partner but don’t want to hurt their feelings either. This change usually happens to one person in the relationship, leaving the other badly hurt after the split.

8. Younger people don’t have the knowledge to spot the potential warning signs of incompatibility that exist

Extreme highs and lows are normal if you seek marriage at a young age. Younger people lack the knowledge necessary to recognize possible compatibility red flags.

The most wonderful people out there can be battling with the worst monsters. And sometimes, abusers hide behind the mask of Prince Charming. It’s better to be cautious and put yourself first than sorry. [Read: 42 red flags & signs it’s time to end your relationship & move on for good]

9. Financial security issues

Young couples struggle more with financial and medical concerns. It’s simpler to ignore than to deal with the situation head-on. These difficulties might result in arguments where neither party wants to compromise. It might get to a point where you both start shifting blame for your problems in life when it’s really nobody’s fault.

Divorce costs are another serious concern that you need to take into account. Some young couples opt to stay together because they cannot afford this. You need to think about your maturity levels before getting married.

If you don’t think you’re ready for the lifetime commitment, it’s better to wait for another one or two years. [Read: Stages of grief in divorce and everything else in between]

10. Higher risk of miscarriages or abortions

Having children early may be harmful to both the mother and the child. Teen moms (10-19 years old) are far more likely to develop eclampsia or uterine infections, which can raise the chance of stillbirth. The likelihood of low birth weight, preterm delivery, and serious neonatal problems among babies born to mothers under 20 years old are also higher.

11. Lack of complete education

Those who get married early are less likely to complete their education. If you get married in college, you now have to prioritize work over education to provide for your family.

Although manageable for some, balancing a full-time college education at a higher level while taking care of a household is very difficult.

12. You may not know what exactly you want in life

In your 20s, there’s so much for you to learn and explore. The job you have when you’re at this age may not be the job for the rest of your life.

Think about all the people you haven’t met and the places you haven’t visited. You need to experience many things to figure out exactly what you want in life.

That cannot happen if you’re stuck in a marriage, right?

Getting married young – What can I look forward to?

So now we can all agree that getting married isn’t just having a fairytale wedding and living happily ever after. There are just as many upsides to getting married young as there are downsides. You’ve got to make sure you’re serious and ready to commit. The divorce process is neither fun nor easy.

Keep in mind you should only get married because you want to. Don’t let anyone force your hand in the matter and make sure you follow your heart. [Read: What is the right age to get married?]

1. If it’s right, it lasts forever

We all count on being in several romantic relationships in life before we find “the one.” Some of us are lucky enough to meet that one when we’re still in high school or right after we’ve started a new career. Getting married as a teenager was normal several decades ago, but it’s more of a taboo today.

Getting married in your early 20s is sometimes discouraged because you haven’t had time to be adventurous and live life. When the love is real, it’s real. There’s no age limit on that. If you get married to the right person at a young age, you’re likely to have a very long and happy life together.

There’s no foolproof way of knowing your marriage will last forever. But if you don’t rush into the wedding, you give yourself time to grow closer to your significant other.

This time spent getting to know each other strengthens your bond and helps you get through the toughest times. [Read: The pros and cons of marrying your high school sweetheart]

2. It feels like you’ve got your whole life ahead of you

In reality, you do have your entire life ahead of you! You shouldn’t be afraid of getting married early in life… if that’s your calling. Getting married young allows you to look forward to all the special moments you share together as you age.

If you’re interested in having children with your spouse, you have them in your own time. You might skip worrying about the same fertility issues as women who get married older.

If you haven’t taken time to travel the world, you can do so with your spouse at your side before you’ve started a family. As long as you work well as a team, it might be nice having a partner to go on the journey with.

A lot of people look at marriage as a necessity, so getting married early on makes you feel more accomplished in life—and you don’t have to apologize for that. Live your life however you see fit! [Read: 17 things you have to do before getting married and settling down]

3. You’ll learn a lot of important life lessons

Even if you marry the perfect person for you, there are going to be bumpy roads ahead. Arguing and bickering won’t end just because you decide to get married. You’ve got to work hard to fix things any time there’s a disagreement.

Finances are also one of the big things that come into play when you get married. There’s always going to be one person with a higher-paying job and a higher credit score. So, making the transition to marriage can be difficult when money troubles are present.

Having honest discussions about anything and everything ensures you’re both on the same page, or are at least aware of how the other person feels. If you’re not accustomed to sharing your feelings regularly, you’ll definitely have to get into the habit of doing so now. [Read: Emotional connection – small ways to build a happily ever after]

4. Your interests more than likely will shift

If you like going out to the club with your friends, no one expects you to completely give up your free time with friends, but you’re definitely going to start becoming more involved with what’s going on at home.

Shopping for a house or major appliances might not have appealed to you before. But now that you have a husband or wife, it’s going to be important that you make a comfortable abode for both of you. Entertaining at home is bound to become a big deal—and everyone loves hosting a fun party at their place!

Becoming more of a homebody might seem awkward at first. But you’ll get used to it faster than you might think. [Read: 15 subtle things that change when you get married]

5. There’s a lot of room for you to readjust

While still in your early 20s, you often are trying to figure out your career path and where you want to go in life. Getting married early, you and your spouse wade those waters together. This helps cut down on the chances one of you has to give up the lifestyle, home, or job you really enjoy.

If one of you gets your dream job in another place, there’s no need to make any painstaking decisions about whether or not you should take the position. [Read: Growing together if you started your relationship young]

6. Sex becomes less of a danger

Casual sex can be great fun, but there’s always a worry of contracting a sexually transmitted disease or ending up pregnant if you’re not careful. This deters a lot of folks from casual sex!

But when you’re getting married young *and faithful to your spouse,* those worries become less of an issue. There’s a certain level of trust you must have for your husband or wife to make it as a married couple. That trust should be there long before you decide to walk down the aisle.

Believe it or not, married people have better sex lives than those that aren’t married. So you can look forward to getting some on a regular basis as you communicate your needs with your partner.

And if you’re not a big fan of condoms, for whatever reason *because some people just aren’t,* you have fewer reasons to use them when you’re only sleeping with your spouse! [Read: 17 of the best naughty ideas to spice up married sex]

7. Their big milestones become your big milestones!

Birthdays and graduations are made that much more important when you celebrate with your husband or wife! Even things like paying off your college loan debt or your mortgage becomes a bigger deal when you have your spouse right there to applaud you.

Marriage itself should be a celebration of love and support day in and day out. So we’ve got to look for those endearing qualities in a potential spouse early on! [Read: Walking down the aisle – 15 questions for a happily married life]

8. You grow up together

You and your spouse will grow closer throughout the years rather than apart because you get to experience the beauty of human transformation together.

Your husband gets to see you dig your heels into a job that’s extremely draining, while you watch him overcome his reluctance to change your baby’s diapers. You’ll feel so lucky that even in your thirties, you’ve had the opportunity to spend so much of your life together.

9. It’s easier to combine households

Moving in together is exciting but also hard work. However, it’s easier to combine households when you don’t have much stuff when you’re young. When you’re older, living in your own apartment with the furniture that you bought for yourself, it’s a lot more complicated to relocate.

[Read: Signs it’s a good idea to move in with your partner]

10. You’re more realistic about finances

According to studies, young marriages are associated with higher-earning marriages. It all comes down to finding the right match. You’re young and have the energy to hustle. And since you both have beginner budgets, you’re more realistic about your finances, so you make smarter money choices.

11. You have more energy

As mentioned before, younger people have more energy. You can fully experience the best phase of your life with the person you love most. You also have more energy to travel, volunteer, go to parties together, work many jobs, and even have kids and take care of them.

12. Couples mature faster together than if they stay single

Together, you may make plans for the future and accomplish goals. It’s more thrilling to discuss and prepare for the future when you are young, which is a great plus to getting married young.

Also, vowing to stay with one person for the rest of your life while others your age aren’t there yet makes you feel like your life is on track.

13. You get more time to plan for having children

Without the pressure of having kids soon right after, you get more time to plan for it. Until then, you can enjoy the best years of your life with the one you love.

There are so many things to learn, experience, and explore together as a young married couple. Many would trade anything for something that special.[Read: Tips to have a great time when you travel as a couple]

Signs you’re ready to get married in your 20s

Do you wonder if you should marry in your 20s or wait for a few more years? Here are the signs that mean you’re ready for that lifelong commitment.

1. You’re ready to grieve the end of being single

So you’re ready to leave behind all the excitement of first dates and meeting potential partners. You’re aware of what it means to devote your life to only one person. This is challenging at any age, but it calls for extra consideration if you’re in your 20s.

It’s important to give yourself space to grieve the loss of a particular stage of life and move forward.

2. Your reason for getting married has nothing to do with trying to feel secure, accomplished, successful, or free

You’re aware that it’s not your partner’s responsibility to rescue, satisfy, or complete you. Contrary to what our society would have you believe, marriage isn’t intended to be the solution to all of your issues. It’s advisable to take care of your issues on your own first.

Apart from having a kid, marriage is the biggest commitment you’ll ever make. Make sure you’re not only doing that to run away from something else. [Read: How to be emotionally independent & stop using others for happiness]

3. You have a healthy way of handling conflict

Do you and your partner have no trouble communicating with each other? Fighting sometimes is completely natural. But you always show each other respect and can come to an amicable agreement. Regardless of how in love you may feel, a lack of communication over time can damage relationships.

4. You are aligned in terms of core values.

To have a successful marriage, you don’t have to share the same interests or pastimes. But you need to be on the same page on important issues, such as religion, kids, finances, and family time.

You don’t even need to have the same financial habits, but you need to be prepared for any problems that may arise. [Read: 37 very sweet, subtle signs he wants to marry & spend his life with you]

How to make a young marriage work

If you’re a young couple, who’s about to say “I do,” consider these topics to prevent issues in your marriage.

1. Share your perspectives on money and wealth

The first step in managing your finances as a young couple is to understand how your partner feels about money.

Did they come from a family that had trouble making ends meet? Or did they always have plenty to spend? Knowing about how your potential spouse spends or saves will help you anticipate how they will handle the money after the wedding.

2. Go on dates

It’s important that you make an effort to actively keep your love alive. Marrying young is more challenging because you’ll have to spend more years and go through more stages in life with this person.

You and your partner need to set aside time to spend together. Get creative to keep the romance alive. [Read: Romantic dinner date ideas – 17 fun dates you both will never forget]

3. Treat each other with love and respect

This doesn’t only apply to young couples, but also couples of any age. Always treat each other with love and respect. Even when you’re fighting, you should not try to hurt the other person, either emotionally or physically.

Be ready to lose disagreements, and remember that you don’t always have to be right. Be each other’s biggest cheerleaders and laugh together as much as possible. [Read: Disrespectful husband – 28 signs & ways to teach him to treat you better]

4. Communicate clearly and often

Every healthy relationship requires healthy communication. So, talk to your spouse.

Always be honest about how you’re feeling and be courteous. Take your time to learn about what your spouse needs and wants from you. Most importantly, never keep secrets from each other.

5. Have some personal time

Alone time is just as important as couple time. When you’re married, especially if you have children, you rarely get time to relax and spend time on your hobbies.

So when you get time for yourself, go out with your friends, learn a new hobby, take a class, or volunteer. You’ll value each other much more when you have something to share with your partner other than what you always do together. [Read: How to be happy alone]

6. Build trust

Marriages are seriously threatened by criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Partners who remain together understand how to disagree amicably and accept responsibility for their actions. If you’re going to spend the rest of your life together, you’ll have to learn to trust each other first. [Read: Trust issues in a relationship – 22 whys & ways to get over it together]

7. Learn to forgive

Nobody’s perfect. Your spouse may hurt your feelings sometimes, but it’s crucial to address your emotions and then move on.

Don’t continue to bring up the past. You’re allowed to be angry and upset, but you’re going to have to work toward forgiving for your marriage to last. [Read: Should you forgive a cheater? How & 21 MUST-KNOWs to make a choice]

Reasons to get married young

If you’re looking for some reasons to get married young, here they are!

1. You genuinely enjoy your time together

Is the person you want to marry your best friend? Are you having a lot of fun with them? Maybe you two are high school sweethearts or friends from college. Perhaps you just met and fell in love.

Regardless of the circumstances, you love this person. Marrying them would make it a lot simpler. Imagine how wholesome it would be to come home after a long day at work and cuddle in bed while watching your favorite show with your favorite person. [Read: Couples bucket list – 32 must-do things to create experiences together]

2. You have similar perspectives for the future

You and your partner should be able to agree on how to build a future together, for example, when you’re going to have children and how many. It’s good if you both want the same things and have similar expectations.

After all, you’ll have to make a lot of important decisions together once you’re married.

3. You don’t have much relationship baggage

If you two don’t have any relationship baggage that might affect your future together, go ahead and tie the knot!

Don’t bring your childhood trauma and drama from your previous relationships into your marriage. You may not be mature enough or lack the experience to work through these issues together. [Read: Relationship stages – phases couples go through by months & years]

4. You’re ready to combine finances

When married, you’ll have to share rent, groceries, insurance, and more. Finances are a huge reason for divorce, and not being financially stable when you get married is exhausting. You’ll need to figure out finances with your partner, otherwise, save marriage for another day.

5. You both value mature communication

If you and your partner have no trouble communicating with each other and rarely argue, it’s a good sign that you should get married. As long as the two of you are emotionally mature enough to love and respect each other, everything will turn out okay. [Read: Communication exercises for couples – Easy games to be a better lover]

6. You know what you want

The truth is, there are so many good reasons to get married young, and there are as many bad ones, too. You and your partner are the only ones that matter. You’re the only ones who can decide if getting married young is worth it.

Relationships and people are complicated, and every couple is different. You can get married young and stay together for 70 years, or you can get married when you’re older and get divorced in a year. So if spending the rest of your life with this person is what you truly want, there’s your answer.

[Read: How to know if she is the one – 32 signs to instantly know for sure]

It’s all fine and dandy for friends and family members to voice their concerns about you getting married young in life, but the decision is ultimately yours to make. Think long and hard before you jump into a serious commitment and feel confident in your final choice!