Texting in the Early Stages of Dating: 24 Rules & Habits You MUST Follow

When you first meet someone, texting in the early stages of dating isn’t easy. So, if you want to do it right, here are 20 texting rules to follow.

Are you caught up in the early romance of dating? It can feel uncertain, wondering if they really like you or not. Luckily, we have all the information you need to help you develop healthy habits for texting in the early stages of dating.

The early stage is pretty sensitive because you aren’t a couple yet. Naturally, you want this person to like you back and want to be with you, so there are a couple of things you should do to make sure you play it cool and have them come to you.

It’s easy to get caught up in feelings and excitement. Follow these tips, and you’ll be able to text the person you’re dating with ease. [Read: How to start a conversation over text and get them texting back]

Texting in the early stages of dating: 20 texting habits to have 

In the early 2000s, texting wasn’t even a thing. In fact, you had to pay per text message! Some people even remember texting for the first time, and thinking, “this is never going to become a thing.” They were so wrong. Within a year or two, most people found themselves texting like crazy and driving their phone bills through the roof.

Then, people figured out that they can text the guys or girls they like. And, of course, there wasn’t any rule book to teach you how to text someone you liked. Some people wrote essay-length messages and asked question after question. Yeah, this can be so annoying. But that’s not the point! [Read: The early stages of dating and how to navigate the dos and don’ts]

How often should you text in the early stages of dating?

This is a difficult question to answer because it’s very individual and personality-driven. Some people love texting, and other people hate it. So, if you have one person who loves it and one who hates it, then that can be challenging.

However, generally speaking, you should be texting enough for the person to know that you really like them. If you go too long in between texts, then they will start to wonder if you are losing interest. For that reason, it’s best to at least touch base every day. That way, you can let the text conversation take on a life of its own.

Texting rules in the early stages of dating

1. Take a deep breath

Yes, you like this person, and you’re all excited, but chill. Take a couple of deep breaths, and take it easy. If you work yourself up, it’ll get you overthinking everything you say.

The person you’re dating should never be up on a pedestal. They’re human, and if they don’t like you, that’s okay. There’s someone out there who will. [Read: How to be better at dating and enjoy every step along the way]

2. Don’t text obsessively

Sure, talking to them all day long is fun and exciting, but you also have a life outside of your phone, right? Being overly available isn’t a good look.

Why? Because it’s waving the “I’m codependent” flag. Do you have anything else going on besides texting them all day long? Of course you do, and they need to see that.

3. Texting shouldn’t replace face-to-face contact

 You’re in the early stages of dating; this is the time where you should spend more time with them in person than over text. You need to see the person they really are, not the one they’re showing via text or social media.

Texting can be used to talk about everyday things, but it should mainly be used to arrange in-person dates. That’s why it’s an important rule of texting in the early stages of dating. [Read: What to say on a first date to keep it light, easy, and flirtatious]

4. Don’t question your messages.

When we like someone, we want them to think we’re funny, smart, and all the other good qualities people have. And when you’re texting someone, you want them to see these qualities.

But that doesn’t mean you should be second-guessing every message you’re sending them, making sure it doesn’t offend them or turns them off. Don’t question what you write, just make sure it’s honest.

5. You both need to initiate conversations

If you’re the only one who’s doing all the texting, that’s not a great sign. We’re all guilty of being that person, and that never ends up well. In a healthy texting relationship, you’re both comfortable enough to initiate and carry on a conversation. If you see you’re the one putting in all the effort, stop. [Read: 15 unwritten rules of texting you both need to remember]

6. Reply when you have time

That’s right. You don’t need to stay glued to your phone. If you’re at work or at school, keep those activities a priority. When you have time, text the person you’re dating.

You don’t need to play games, but you shouldn’t jeopardize yourself to send them a text message.

7. Use actual grammar

Yeah, this sounds lame, but you need to use proper grammar and spelling. A typo here and there isn’t a big deal, but people like to read sentences they don’t need to decode. You probably didn’t know this, but people are turned off by poor grammar and spelling. So, shape up.

8. Know when to end the conversation

You don’t need to text all day and night to show the person you’re interested in them. Know when it’s okay to end the conversation. If you feel it’s dying, then end the conversation early.

You can start a new conversation in a couple of hours. That’s fine. But don’t try to keep a conversation alive when it doesn’t have to be. [Read: 15 fun games to connect with your crush over text]

9. Be mindful of your tone

If you’re someone who has a dry or sarcastic humor, it may not always come across right on text. That why this is a very important rule for texting in the early stages of dating.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t show off your personality. Use a couple of emojis here and there to get the point across clearly, and read your message to yourself to make sure what you want to say is actually getting across.

10. Save the important conversations for in person

You don’t need to have a deep conversation about your childhood over a text message. Some conversations are better left for in-person dates.

People have a lot of time to think about what they want to say, and that’s not always a good thing. Sometimes you need to see a person’s facial expressions and their reactions to specific conversations. [Read: The stages of a new relationship to define your budding romance]

11. Move past the text message

Texting, in the beginning, is fine and dandy, but eventually, you should talk on the phone.

What? Gasp! No one talks on the phone now, but hearing someone’s voice is much different than texting each other. Plus, it shows both of you a level of comfort in the relationship. [Read: Is it time to define your relationship?]

12. Don’t ever just text “hi” 

What are we, 10? Come on! If this is someone you like, you can do a little bit better than ‘hi.’ Seriously. Never send a message with ‘hi.’

Instead, add a question to the end of it. It’s too generic and lazy; it gives off the impression that they’re not good enough for anything more. This is a very important texting rule in the early stages of dating.

13. Don’t try to sext

Sure, it’s tempting to dive right into the sex talk and/or photos. But you don’t really know this person. You should sexting for down the road when you are an actual couple, or when you’re pretty into each other.

Guys, girls think that getting a di*k pic is gross – it doesn’t turn them on. And girls, you can’t sext a guy into a relationship. So both genders need to avoid this at all costs.

14. Ask open-ended questions to keep the conversation going

If someone texts you asking how your day was, then don’t just respond with “It’s going fine.” That doesn’t give them anything to come back with.

Instead, you should say, “Hey, Jane! How’s your day going? Did you do well on that presentation?” Then, it opens the door to more conversation. [Read: 50 cheeky personal questions to ask to get to know someone you like]

15. Be consistent

You don’t want to text someone 24/7 one day and then disappear for three days. That’s very confusing to the person you’re dating. Have a consistent pattern of texting. If you don’t, the person will overthink things and think that you have had a change of heart and don’t really like them that much.

16. Don’t assume they are a mind reader

One of the problems with texting is that it leaves too much room to make assumptions. Because we lack body language and nonverbal communication, it’s too easy to assume that the other person knows what we’re talking about.

But they are not a mind reader, so be specific and direct with your words so there is no misunderstanding.

17. Have your own life

Don’t just sit around staring at your phone 24/7 waiting to get a text from the person you are dating. If you do that, they will know because you answer them way too quickly all the time.

They might think, “This person has no life!” So, don’t forget that you do have other things going on outside of the person you are dating. [Read: How to get a life – 20 things you MUST do to feel alive again]

18. Avoid playing games

It’s very tempting for both guys and girls to play mind games in order to have the upper hand in the early stages of dating.

From trying to make them jealous to purposely waiting a long time to answer a text, those games just get old. No one likes to have their mind messed with, so just don’t do it. 

19. Be genuine

Instead of playing those games, just be yourself! If you want to say certain things, then do it. If you don’t want to talk about some topics, then don’t. Just be genuine.

After all, if you aren’t, they won’t fall in love with your true self. Instead, they will fall for a fake version of themselves. And you can’t keep up the fake version forever. So just start right off with being genuine.

20. Say nice things

You don’t have to play hard to get. Sure, some people like doing it and it does work sometimes. But when that happens, the other person wonders if you really like them or not. So, it’s important to reassure them of your level of interest.

You can text things like, “I’m so excited for our next date!” or “That date last night was one of the best ones I’ve ever had!” They will appreciate it. [Read: 20 funny compliments you can use to flatter and make them laugh]

Red flags to watch out for with texting

As with anything in life, there are a lot of red flags to look out for. And texting in the early stages of dating is a time when you really need to be on the lookout for them. So, here are some things to look out for.

1. Sexual content

As we said earlier, you don’t want to get into sexual text content in the early stages of dating. So, if someone is asking you about your favorite sex positions or sending you naked photos, then you should drop them. Obviously, they are only after sex and will never want a real relationship with you.

2. Disappearing

If someone has been consistently texting you, but all of a sudden they disappear for a day or two *or even a week or more*, then that’s a red flag.

It not only says the person isn’t reliable, but it also says that they’re not really that interested in you. They could even be on to the next person or are texting multiple people at the same time. [Read: 34 big relationship red flags most people completely ignore early on]

3. Texting 24/7

On the other end of the spectrum, if someone is smothering you by texting you at all hours of the day, then that is bad too.

Don’t they have a life? They also don’t know personal boundaries either. So, this person is probably too desperate, and you might not want them.

4. Angry outbursts

If you sense indirect or direct tones of anger, then you should run away fast.

If they are getting a little angry over text in the early stages of dating, then what do you think they will be like when you’re in a relationship? They are supposed to be on their best behavior. So, they will be a nightmare – and probably abusive – later down the road.

[Read: 15 text conversation starters for the shy that work like a charm]

Texting in the early stages of dating isn’t easy at all! You’re nervous and want to impress your date. But don’t worry. If you follow these habits, you’ll be on the right path.