28 Signs of a Bad Girlfriend & How to Spot a Girl Who’s Bad For You

If you are wondering about the signs of a bad girlfriend, then you probably already know. But here is what you need to know to confirm your suspicions.

When in a relationship, we all tend to wear rose-colored glasses and guys might not notice the signs of a bad girlfriend in the beginning. That means that even when something is off, we overlook it for the sake of the relationship. 

That is fine when your girlfriend leaves her hair in the shower drain, but when things go from little pet peeves to actual signs of a bad girlfriend, you need to make a change or realize you deserve better.

[Read: 15 types of bad girlfriends who will make your life hell]

The early signs of a bad girlfriend you already know

If you are reading this feature, it is likely you have seen or subconsciously realized these signs of a bad girlfriend. You just want to be sure before doing anything drastic.

If something was gnawing at you enough to do the research, you probably already know the truth. But if you need more reassurance or for us to tell you that you’re overreacting, keep on reading.

How do you spot a girl who is bad for you?

Recognizing the signs of a bad girlfriend is not always so obvious. A bad girlfriend does not have to be someone that is cruel or cheating. It can be a lot more subtle than that.

But where do you begin to look?

1. In the mirror

Are you happy? Reflect on yourself. If you are not happy in your relationship, there is a reason. Yes, maybe you have been in a rut or it is long distance. But if she is not making you happy, is it worth it?

This doesn’t necessarily mean she is a bad person, but maybe she is a bad girlfriend for you. [Read: The steps to take to tell your partner you are unhappy]

2. At your friends

Your friends and family are the first ones to notice when there are early signs of a bad girlfriend. Before you even notice it yourself, they will. So if you aren’t sure, ask them.

You may constantly complain about her or bring every conversation back to her, or vent about her nonstop. Your friends are the ones that pay attention to this.

If they hear more bad than good about your girlfriend, she probably isn’t the best. [Read: 21 secrets of a bad relationship that signal a bad future ahead]

3. To the past

Think back to when you first got together. Did she surprise you with your coffee order or with tickets to your favorite band? Or maybe she just checked in during lunch or sent cute texts.

If all that stopped, it doesn’t necessarily mean she is a bad girlfriend. Ruts happen. But if she is not putting effort into the relationship or you, she is not a good girlfriend.

4. At your schedule

We all love hanging out with our partners. But if all of your spare time goes to her, and you rarely see your friends and family, something is off.

And vice versa. If she never makes time for you, that isn’t good either. [Read: 21 signs of a needy girlfriend and the best ways to love her better]

5. Social media

We hate to say it, but nowadays social media can be an indicator of something bigger. No, it does not represent real life, but it does show patterns. Does she never post pictures of you together?

Does she comment on other guys’ photos or like their comments on hers? This is not a clear-cut sign, but use your common sense. [Read: Why your girlfriend flirts with other guys when she already has you]

What are the signs of a bad girlfriend?

Now that you know something’s not right in your relationship, what is it exactly that you are looking for? Maybe seeing one or two of these signs of a bad girlfriend is not the end of things. You may even be able to talk to her and work things out.

But if as you read this list, you realize these things describe your girlfriend more often than not, she is probably a bad girlfriend, at least for you. And sometimes, you really don’t have an option but to let go.

1. She doesn’t listen

Sometimes we all struggle to listen. But if she consistently talks over you or makes her problems seem worse than yours, that is one of those clear signs of a bad girlfriend.

A girl that doesn’t listen may not care about you and what you are going through as much as a girlfriend should or a good girlfriend would. [Read: Is she emotionally detached? 15 signs she doesn’t care about you at all]

2. She isn’t there for you

When you have a girlfriend, she should be there for you just like you are for her. But if you vent to her about work or your family and she dismisses you, that is a sign of a bad girlfriend.

If this happens on occasion, she may just be stressed or tired or dealing with something herself. But if this is a pattern, you deserve a better girlfriend.

3. She cancels plans

Canceling plans is not a relationship sin. Things come up. But if she consistently blows you off, especially at the last minute, she is not appreciating her time with you, the commitment she made, or you.

She also thinks there is something better to do. The same goes for if she leaves plans open-ended and never fully commits. [Read: Got flaky people in your life? Here are the reasons to ditch them]

4. She avoids your family and friends

A good girlfriend would want to spend time with the people closest to you. Yes, sometimes we don’t like your weird friends or your overbearing mother, but a good girlfriend puts the effort in any way.

One of the signs of a bad girlfriend is if you ask her to come to hang out with your friends or come to dinner with the family and she declines. Plus, if she can’t give you a decent reason why not, or worse expects you to do these things for her… bad girlfriend alert.

5. She tries to change you

All girlfriends may want to buy their boyfriend some new clothes or get him out of those cargo shorts from high school, but when it goes beyond that, she does not love you for you.

It is normal to want to make your boyfriend the best version of himself. But when he resists, you love him anyway, if you’re a good girlfriend.

If she keeps trying to change you, from your clothes to your job and even your hobbies or taste in music, she loves you conditionally. [Read: The types of girls you should avoid at all costs]

6. Your friends don’t like her

Sometimes, we have to overlook what our friends and family think to satisfy our hearts. But usually, when the people closest to you see something sketchy, it isn’t to be ignored.

Your friends are looking out for you and tend to see the signs of a bad girlfriend even when you can’t. So, although their opinions don’t mean everything, they can be awfully eye-opening.

7. She is controlling

Does she always want to know where you are and who you’re with? Does she try to check your phone or analyze every female friend you have?

This is not only bad girlfriend behavior, but it is a sign of someone who does not trust you. [Read: 24 scary signs of a controlling girlfriend and how to take a stand]

8. She is using you

If you think your girlfriend is out of your league or it is too good to be true, sorry, but it may very well be. Girls may come across as innocent, but they have less than good intentions sometimes too!

If she only wants you around in a certain group, or ignores you until it is convenient for her, that is a major sign of a bad girlfriend. [Read: 20 signs she’s leading you on, using you and only pretending to love you]

9. She is a perfectionist

We don’t mean at work or when it comes to organizing her cupboard. But if she makes a mistake and can’t apologize because she can’t admit she actually did something wrong, that is one of the majors signs of a bad girlfriend.

Everyone makes mistakes. We are human, after all. But if you cannot admit your mistakes, then you can’t learn from them and your relationship can’t grow.

10. She takes you for granted

Whether you drive her to work, cook her dinner, or feed her cat, she should make it clear how much she appreciates all you do for her. Whether that is saying thank you, returning the favor, or making time for you.

If she doesn’t show appreciation for you being in her life, she is clearly displaying one of the big signs of a bad girlfriend! [Read: 24 sad signs of an unhealthy relationship that ruin love forever]

11. She treats you like an employee, not a boyfriend

Some guys just get used to this kind of behavior and expect it. And some might even be shocked if their girlfriends ask for their opinion or asked them to do things instead of telling them. And that is awfully sad.

If she threatens you or forces you to do things you don’t want to do, even if that is just carrying her bags while she shops, she is not treating you fairly. Yes, a good boyfriend puts up with stuff for his girlfriend, but she should appreciate it, not expect it.

12. She expects too much from you

Similar to the earlier point, if she expects you to make big gestures, pay for every date, and buy her flowers daily, she is not being a good girlfriend.

Once you start expecting kind gestures instead of appreciating them, things go downhill. Unless you both go out of your way equally, something is off balance. [Read: 13 signs of a healthy relationship and when to end the shitty ones]

13. She can’t compromise

Compromise is a major part of every relationship. A little give and a little take. You have to meet halfway. But if she never gives and always expects you to swallow your wants and needs for her, she expects too much.

Yes, women deserve a man who respects them and treats them well. But they need to offer the same kindness back. If you don’t feel like she ever compromises, that’s clearly one of the subtle but big signs of a bad girlfriend. [Read: How to compromise in a relationship and not feel like you lost out]

14. She manipulates

This can be a hard one to spot. Being manipulated is not always so obvious. It can even be twisted to look like a compromise. She may use sex as a way of getting what she wants, or even cry to get her way.

Or what’s worse, she might threaten to ends things, tell your secrets, or ruin your life in exchange for something. This is not good girlfriend behavior. [Read: Don’t ignore these signs of manipulation in a relationship]

15. She cheats

This is a major sign of a bad girlfriend, yet some people still put up with it, or deny it. Many people have been there.

Some people are serial cheaters, but their partners just tell themselves that it’s a phase and in the end, they would come back to them. But seriously, why would you want a cheater to come back to you?

Not only is that unfair to you, but it also hits your self-esteem and trust hard for a long time. If your girlfriend cheats *and more than once*, there is no excuse or use in discussing it. That is a sign of a bad girlfriend that cannot be overlooked.

16. She lies

Everyone tells little white lies once in a while. But there’s a huge difference between telling someone they look good in their jeans when they don’t and lying about major things. So, you need to be honest with yourself about whether she lies to you. [Read: Lying in a relationship – 15 steps to confront a lie and heal the love]

Maybe she is “going out with friends” but when you see them without her, they try to cover for her. Or maybe she’s “working late” but you suspect she’s cheating. Any form of compulsive lying makes her a bad girlfriend.

17. She uses you for your money

If you took her out on your first date and she proceeded to order the most expensive menu item and a pricey bottle of wine, then she just likes your money. Any respectful woman wouldn’t do that and expect you to pay for her expensive taste.

So, if you find that you are always buying her things and she’s demanding extravagant trips, jewelry, restaurants, purses, or cars *and the list goes on*, the is probably a gold digger. Even if you’re not a rich man, if she’s mooching off your money, then she’s a bad girlfriend. [Read: 10 sneaky signs you’re dating a genuine 24k gold digger]

18. She doesn’t fight fair

If when you are in a fight, she is extremely selfish and won’t see your point of view, that is toxic. She might see the fighting as a competition and she needs to “win” every time. There is no compromising with her at all.

She might even name-call and degrade you when you are having a conflict. She gets down and dirty and brings up every little thing you have done wrong in your life. This is narcissistic behavior and it is something you don’t deserve – no one does.

19. You do everything for her

Does she do any of the housework or does she expect you to do it? Or maybe she expects to have you take her car in to have the oil changed. It doesn’t matter what it is, but if you find that you are doing everything, and she is doing nothing, then that is a one of the signs of a bad girlfriend who’s completely taken you for granted already.

When you do everything for her, then she expects you to keep doing it. We teach people how to treat us, and if you allow this, then she will just keep doing it. [Read: Selfish people – 20 ways to spot and stop them from hurting you]

20. She’s a drama queen

If she makes a mountain out of a molehill all the time, then she is a drama queen. If she broke a nail and yells at you because you don’t see the big deal, then that is mentally and emotionally exhausting for you, isn’t it?

The reason that she’s a drama queen is that she likes it. Drama makes her feel important. It gives her a “purpose” and something to complain about. But that makes her a bad girlfriend.

21. She withholds sex

Some women can use sex as a weapon in relationships. They know men like sex, and they know men want it a lot. So, if you’re looking for the signs of a bad girlfriend and you find that she is unpredictable with when she will have sex with you, then she is doing it on purpose.

When she withholds sex because she’s angry *or for whatever other reason*, that is toxic. Sex is supposed to be loving and emotionally intimate. So, if she’s weaponizing it in your relationship, then that is very unhealthy. [Read: Using sex as a weapon? The harsh truths that you need to know]

22. She’s abusive

Usually, when we think of abusive relationships, we think of the man abusing the woman. But it can be the other way around too. Women can be abusive to their men too because abuse comes in all forms.

It doesn’t have to be physical to be classified as abuse. She can be mentally and emotionally abusive. If she’s calling you names like stupid or loser, then that is toxic. If she insults your masculinity or does anything else disrespectful to you, then that makes her an extremely bad girlfriend – and person. [Read: Toxic girlfriend – 17 warning signs the girl you like is toxic AF]

23. She bad-mouths you to other people

If you feel like her friends or her family are withdrawing from you and not treating you as nicely, that probably means she’s bad-mouthing you to them. Who knows what kinds of bad things she says to them? But you probably know it’s not good.

She might even insult you openly in front of them too. This is just as bad because she is doing that publicly. It’s never okay to humiliate another person. So if she’s doing that, she is definitely a bad girlfriend.

[Read: 34 very big relationship red flags most people ignore early on in a relationship]

If you spot more than a few of these signs of a bad girlfriend in your relationship, there’s a big chance that the girl you’re with may not be the ideal partner for you in your life!