25 Things that Make You EXTRA Horny & Red Flags that Make Your Libido Drop!

The feeling of your body tingling and your blood pumping is exhilarating. Let’s look at some of the things to make you horny together.

We all want to feel maximum pleasure when we’re with our partner. It doesn’t matter if you’re with a one-night stand or your significant other of five years. Horny is horny, and we all love it.

Being horny not only leads to some jaw-dropping sex, but you also learn what turns you on and what turns your partner on. You know, for future reference. So, what is it that makes you horny?

The science of horniness

What does being horny mean? It’s the feeling of being turned on sexually – the excitement that leads to sexy action! But how does it work? Let’s take a look at the sexy science behind arousal.

[Read: Science of attraction – things that are far more sexy than looks]

When you’re turned on, physical and emotional changes happen in the body, such as:

1. Your breathing gets faster

2. Your blood pressure, heart rate, and temperature go up

3. In women, your nipples, clitoris, and vulva fill with blood, becoming more sensitive

4. Meanwhile, your vagina becomes wet and expands

5. In men, your penis gets hard or ‘erect’ – and your nipples become sensitive too

It’s interesting to find out that men’s and women’s bodies experience horniness in different ways, but they’re also similar. After all, the clitoris *or ‘clit’* is biologically a tiny penis!

Things to make you horny

So, now we know what horniness is. If you want to go from watching TV to being all over each other, you need to put away cell phones and focus on getting horny. If you’re trying to figure out how to get horny, then listen up.

1. Watch something steamy

Do you remember the scene in Ghost where Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore sit at the potter’s wheel, attempting to make a vase? Or basically every scene from Cruel Intentions? Of course you do, those scenes were hot as hell. If you watch that with your partner and don’t end up trying to recreate that, then something is wrong there.

If you start to think about it, there’s an endless list of movies that can easily turn you on and make you horny. Sure, you could watch porn, but if you’re a man, your lady isn’t going to love it.

Most women are turned off by porn because they enjoy the plot. They want conversation, they want the buildup—not just some guy who takes off his pants and calls it a day. Where’s the imagination? Exactly. So put on a steamy film and let yourself relax and get horny with your partner. [Read: Get in the mood with these movies with a lot of sex]

2. Take some naughty photos

You don’t need to take fully nude shots of yourself for your partner. Sending a photo of their favorite body part, or if you’re a female, you can do a sexy lingerie shot. That’ll do the trick.

The point is, naughty doesn’t have to be nude. Boudoir photos are great examples of creating sensual and sexy scenes without having to take a photo spread eagle.

If you send your partner a photo of you during work, make sure you’re ready when you come home because they’ll get horny. Very horny. [Read: Seductive selfies – 34 best sexy selfie poses and tips to show yourself off]

3. Take a weekend getaway

Sometimes when you’re in the grind of working full time, you become lazy and lose some of the sexual energy you once had. If that’s the case, then it’s time to spice things up!

Be spontaneous and book a weekend getaway. It’s a great way to bring your sexual energy back between you and your partner.

When you remove yourself from your daily responsibilities, you and your partner have the opportunity to relax and let loose. [Read: Tips to have a great time when you travel as a couple]

4. Touch yourself

Masturbating is a great way to get yourself and your partner in the mood. If they walk into the bed while you’re touching yourself, there is no way they’re walking out with clothes on.

Whether you’re a guy or a girl, take some time to touch yourself. Doing so relieves your horniness and allows you to explore yourself and learn about your desires. Bonus points if your partner watches, because they can learn about your desires, too!

5. Munch on some aphrodisiacs

Do not underestimate the power of food. If you need to kickstart your libido, try munching on some foods that are natural aphrodisiacs, they’ll help you get horny and increase your arousal. So, jump in the car and run to the market to buy these foods:

a. Olive Oil

b. Bananas

c. Vanilla

d. Honey

e. Red wine

f. Figs

g. Walnuts

h. Avocados

i. Chocolate

j. Chili Peppers

k. Pomegranates

l. Oysters

These foods boost the production of sex hormones in both men and women – now that’s true equality! [Read: Aphrodisiacs and food hell – a lover’s guide to eating well]

6. Wear red

Do you remember the bull chasing the matador? Well, that’s basically the effect of the color red. Science has shown that men view women who wear red to be more sexually appealing than those who wear other colors. *red lipstick, anyone?*

Why? Good question. It’s just how we’re wired. Humans see red as a sign of sexual interest. Don’t blame us if your closet has only black and gray in it!

7. Foreplay

Of course, everyone enjoys sex, but there’s something about foreplay. Foreplay can be almost anything, from oral sex to a sensual massage. The point is to slowly increase the sexual tension between you two and get horny before having sex.

This is your opportunity to explore each other’s bodies. Kiss, touch, bite, grab—do it all. [Read: The best sizzling foreplay games to get the night rolling]

8. It’s all in the nose

You may think dousing yourself in perfume or cologne would get your partner’s attention. However, that isn’t quite the case.

Smelling like a perfume shop isn’t going to turn on anyone but the wasps. But, you should know our sense of smell is heavily tied to memory. So, take a shower and put on some perfume or cologne, but remember, subtlety is what drives people crazy.

9. Get your sweat on

There is something very sexy about looking at a guy who just finished his workout. He’s sweaty, his muscles glisten, his shirt sticks to his body—yummy. In his case, working out releases dopamine and norepinephrine which are chemicals that ignite the feeling of love.

For women, when your man is sweaty, the pheromones in his sweat are actually making your cortisol, the hormone associated with arousal, rise. If you’re a sweaty man, then you’re in the clear!

10. Play fighting

Have you ever started play fighting with a guy or girl and ended up having sex? Well, gee, we wonder why that happened… Play fighting or tickling is a great way to build up the sexual tension between you two.

Now, when we say play fighting, we don’t mean UFC cage fighting. Keep it light and fun. There should be no tapping out. You’re aiming for sex, not the ER. [Read: Primal ways to have angry sex and do it right!]

11. Getting frisky in public

You don’t have to have sex in public in order to get an adrenaline boost. While you’re walking down the street, playfully grab your partner’s ass or when you’re at a restaurant, put your hand on their upper thigh and squeeze it.

These little things build sexual tension because they can’t react how they would like to. If it works, your night out is going to end a lot earlier than expected.

12. Take a bath

Candles, bubbles, rose petals… Turn down the lights and turn up the heat! Taking a bath *alone or together* is a great way to get horny.

For reasons of vaginal health, avoid having sex in the water – save that for the shower! Still, use this time to build the sexual tension in a wonderfully romantic way. Who said a wash couldn’t be fun? [Read: Sexy conversation starters to get you both horny]

13. Play with your nipples

Studies have shown nipples are the most erogenous zone on a woman’s body. That’s been shown in MRI scans, so it’s a scientifically proven way to get a woman horny.

People think men’s nipples are useless – but that’s not true! Men’s nipples are almost as sensitive as women’s, so you can get him horny easily with some stimulation.

14. Do some sexy yoga

It’s sexy to be flexible. Not only can sensual, perhaps even naked, yoga get you horny, but it’ll also make it easier to get into those more ambitious positions!

Being calm and knowing your body are two ways to guarantee a boost in your sex life, and some sexy yoga is the perfect way to achieve both of these. There’s a reason why every man likes a gymnast! [Read: For-sure signs a guy is getting turned on when he’s around you]

15. Re-read your past sexts

Nothing makes you horny like remembering the sexiest things ever said to you. Scroll back through your phone and re-read the spiciest sexts between you and your partner – can you remember how horny they made you feel then?

Chances are they’ll still have that effect now. If this way to make you horny works for you, make sure to screenshot any particularly steamy sexting sessions in the future. That way you’ll always have them on hand.

16. Read an erotic story

Don’t have any sexts you can look back on? Erotica *that’s the fancy term for erotic stories* is here to help you get horny fast.

Erotic fiction is traditionally in the novel form – think Fifty Shades of Grey – but nowadays the internet is where it’s at if you’re looking for sexy stories. Any kink you can think of is catered for – including yours!

Whether you’re turned on by vanilla sex or any other flavor, erotic stories of all lengths are out there online to make you hornier than ever.

You can even find fan-fiction erotica inspired by characters you’ve always wanted to see in hot scenarios, or perhaps ideas to write your own sexy tales. Hanky-panky at Hogwarts, anyone? [Read: Dry down there all of a sudden? Fastest ways to go from parched to wet)

17. Listen to audio-only porn

If reading’s not your thing, or you find the typical here-comes-the-pizza-guy porn acting excruciating, consider listening to audio-only porn to get the juices flowing.

Audio-only porn can get you horny by eliminating the sense of sight, therefore heightening your other senses. There’s also a phenomenon called ASMR *or autonomous sensory meridian response*, where certain sounds cause a tingling sensation that passes down your spine.

ASMR turns some people on, mainly when it’s triggered by sexy sounds like whispering, crunching, wet kissing, or even sucking. You can imagine how audio porn makes use of that…

18. Try arousal oil

If you’ve never heard of arousal oils, they’re an alternative to lube that supports the natural flow of blood toward your genitals to increase your pleasure, the natural way the female body gets horny.

Arousal oils are recommended for external application only, so on the vulva, clit, clitoral hood, labia, and mons pubis – never in the vagina!

They’re also recommended if you experience too much tightness during sex, cause some *especially those containing THC* can help to relax the pelvic floor.

Things that might prevent you from feeling horny

Sometimes we struggle to get things going. It’s normal to struggle to get horny for certain reasons, be they hormonal, physical, or emotional.

Most of the time, it’s possible to fix the problems we have with getting in the mood. If you happen to be experiencing problems lately with getting turned on, here are a few reasons why you might be feeling this way. [Read: Seven year itch – what it is & how to get past it as a fun, happy, sexy couple]

1. Stress

Stress is one of the worst parts of life, but it’s as inevitable as death and taxes. As with most things, stress can make it really hard to get horny.

Luckily, certain things like meditation, relaxation, yoga, or even a soothing bath can calm you down and stay in the mood for long enough to get satisfied.

2. Anxiety

Just like stress, nervousness is often a natural occurrence in life. It’s not the sexiest feeling, and being horny can become the last thing on your mind. However, if you’re nervous all the time, that’s not just general nervousness – it’s anxiety.

Anxiety is something that you should never be ashamed to ask for help with from a professional or somebody you trust. Or just be open with your partner and share your fears with them. A problem shared is a problem halved! [Read: Spark in a relationship – why it’s gone and how to bring it back]

3. Past sexual trauma

Like anxiety, this is something you should never feel ashamed about asking for help with. Whether you’re a survivor of abuse, assault, or just a really unpleasant sexual experience – or multiple of these – it’s normal to stop feeling horny as a result.

Being horny has become associated with your trauma, and you might need to work with yourself and your partner to change that association back to pleasure. Take things slow, and never rush. Always communicate with your partner and have patience with yourself.

4. Lack of connection

If you can’t get horny, you might be losing your connection with your partner.

Are you or your partner spending too much time at work? Spending weekends apart? Seeing less and less of each other? You can’t get horny together if you never get together.

Make some time for your relationship. Alternatively, you might be together every night, lacking the true emotional connection that makes you both feel sexy. When was the last time you had a deep, meaningful conversation? [Read: In a relationship but sexually attracted to someone else]

5. Poor self-image

If you don’t love yourself, how are you supposed to love somebody else? And more importantly, how are you supposed to get horny?

Low self-esteem or poor self-image can destroy your libido and make it really hard *pun intended* to get aroused. Remember, as much as sex can make you feel bad about your body, it can become a way to feel good.

Tune into the way your body can please your partner, and you might find you start to love it as much as they do. It’s not just women who suffer from low self-esteem though. Remember to check in with your man if you think he doesn’t know how hot he is – it’s up to you to remind him!

6. Depression

Just like anxiety, chronic depression can destroy your sex drive. Reaching out to somebody is the best way to lift yourself out of this painful rut, good thing loving support is what partners are for!

Turn to your love and be honest about your feelings. This can work wonders, but if it still doesn’t help, it’s okay to go to a professional.

7. Certain medications

Especially when we’ve been discussing anxiety and depression, it’s important to remember that some medications can affect your ability to get turned on.

Certain medications, particularly antidepressants, can make it very difficult to orgasm or even get aroused. If this common side-effect is really bothering you or affecting your relationship, talk to your doctor. This is a valid reason to adapt your prescription. [Read: Ways to turn someone on when talking to them & make sparks fly]

When everything fails to get you horny

You’ve tried everything. One by one, you’ve tested out all the tips in this article, and still, you’re dry as a bone – or soft as a mushy banana. What now?

First, don’t rule out your lack of horniness coming from other problems between you as a couple. If you try everything and one or both of you are still cold, consider counseling or therapy focused on relationships or sexual health. You can try these out together or apart.

Moreover, when everything imaginable fails to get you horny, it’s worth looking into medical reasons why.

For women, you could be suffering from low estrogen, a desire or arousal disorder, a sexual pain disorder like vulvodynia, or even anorgasmia *the medical inability to achieve orgasm*.

Men can suffer from some of these, or male-body-specific equivalents like erectile dysfunction or low testosterone.

Thankfully, visiting a doctor can help with all of these, and you can be back to your old horny self in no time!

Have fun with your partner and try out some of these tips if you want to increase your sexual energy and get horny. Remember, practice makes perfect.