20 Foolproof Ways on How to Pick Up Guys & Why You Should Start Doing It

We think men are the only ones able to pick someone up. It’s the 21st century, ladies! Don’t think only they hold the power, learn how to pick up guys.

When we go out, whether to a bar or nightclub, we often expect men to hit on us. It’s not about feeling like princesses, but over time, we’ve certainly become accustomed to the idea that it’s up to men to put in the effort to get our attention. However, knowing how to pick up guys can shift this dynamic, giving us the power to take the initiative when we see someone we’re interested in. [Read: How to flirt with a shy guy: Baby steps to help him talk to you]

What happens when we spot a really attractive guy? What if he doesn’t approach us? His lack of approach doesn’t always mean he’s not interested. Perhaps he hasn’t noticed us, or maybe he’s too shy to make the first move. This is exactly why it’s important for us to learn how to pick up guys.

Breaking Down the Stereotype

Back in the 1800s, if a woman even thought about making the first move, it would have caused quite the scandal. Fast forward to our era, and we’re still tiptoeing around this idea.

Yes, even in a world where we can order a date like a pizza, the stereotype that men should always make the first move sticks around like that one song you can’t get out of your head.

But why are we still clinging to this old-school script? It’s like we’ve all been cast in a never-ending rom-com where the guys are always expected to take the lead. This isn’t just about tradition, it’s about how our society has choreographed the dating dance. [Read: Common relationship tips that ruin your love life]

Think about it. How often do we hear about dating advice and automatically think it’s about men approaching women? This stereotype isn’t just about who buys the first drink; it’s deeply rooted in our psyche.

For guys, this means carrying the weight of ‘making the first move’, which can be as nerve-wracking as a high-stakes poker game. And for the ladies? It often means sitting on the sidelines, analyzing every glance and gesture, wondering if they’re giving off the right signals.

The thing is, breaking this stereotype isn’t just a bold move; it’s a game-changer. Imagine the possibilities when we shuffle the deck and change the rules of how to pick up guys.

For men, it’s a refreshing change from always having to steer the ship. And for women, it’s like unlocking a new level in the dating game – one where they’re in control.

Why Ladies Should Know How to Pick Up Guys

Okay, ladies! Maybe you’re wondering why you should learn the ropes of how to pick up guys instead of just letting them do all the legwork. Well, there are plenty of good reasons to take the reins in this game of hearts.

1. Boosts Confidence

Learning how to pick up guys is a major confidence booster. It’s about stepping out of your comfort zone and owning your desires. [Read: 55 secrets & self-love habits to build confidence and realize your worth]

This newfound confidence can spill over into other areas of your life, making you feel unstoppable. Plus, who doesn’t love the rush of taking charge in a situation?

2. Breaks Stereotypes

It’s 2023, and time to challenge outdated dating norms. By making the first move, you’re showing that women can be just as bold as men.

This not only feels liberating but also sets a progressive example for others. Every time you approach a guy, you’re helping to redefine societal roles.

3. Improves Social Skills

Approaching someone new is an excellent way to polish your social skills. It’s about learning to read body language, start engaging conversations, and make genuine connections.

As we mentioned above, such skills are invaluable and can be used in all aspects of life, not just dating. Plus, the more you practice, the better you get at the art of how to pick up guys. [Read: Social Butterfly: How to be one, and pros & cons of being outgoing and friendly]

4. Expands Your Options

Why wait for Mr. Right to come to you? By taking the initiative, you widen your dating pool significantly. You get to choose who you want to talk to, rather than hoping the right guy notices you.

Taking a proactive approach means you’re more likely to find someone truly compatible.

5. Empowers Decision-Making

When you’re the one doing the picking up, you’re in control of your dating destiny. It’s about making deliberate choices, rather than passively accepting whoever approaches you.

Gaining empowerment in this way can be incredibly satisfying and exhilarating. And let’s not forget, it’s always a thrill to call the shots every once in a while!

6. Reduces Waiting Time

Let’s face it, waiting for someone to approach you can be like watching paint dry. By learning how to pick up guys, you cut down on all that waiting around.

It’s about seizing the moment and making things happen on your schedule. This approach is not only efficient but also keeps the momentum going. [Read: 24 secrets to be patient in a relationship & avoid risking a new love]

7. Encourages Equality

Taking the initiative in dating promotes a more equal playing field. It challenges the notion that men should always lead and women should follow.

Equality can lead to more balanced and respectful relationships. Plus, many guys find it refreshing and attractive when a woman makes the first move.

8. Creates Surprising Opportunities

You never know what might happen when you make the first move. It could lead to an amazing conversation, a great date, or even a meaningful relationship.

By being proactive, you open the door to unexpected and exciting possibilities. It’s like turning every outing into a potential adventure in how to pick up guys.

9. Enhances Personal Growth

Taking charge in your dating life is a journey of self-discovery. You learn about your preferences, your deal-breakers, and what really makes you click with someone.

This process of exploration and learning is incredibly enriching. Plus, it’s always rewarding to see yourself grow and evolve.

10. It’s Just Plain Fun

Let’s not forget, learning how to pick up guys can be a whole lot of fun. It’s about enjoying the flirtatious banter, the thrill of the chase, and the joy of connection. [Read: Playful banter: What it is, how to do it & secrets to keep the flirty talk going]

Each experience is unique and can be filled with laughter, excitement, and maybe a little bit of mystery. After all, what’s life without a bit of playful adventure?

How to Pick Up Guys

There have been times where we’ve seen a good-looking guy, and we spent the entire night trying to make ourselves approachable. We do the clichéd ‘dance near him’ routine or ‘stand next to him at the bar.’ We’ve tried it all.

But at those times, we never thought about just going up and talking to him; it never crossed our minds. Weird, right? And who knows what could have happened, but by not making any move, we already know that having nothing happen is the obvious outcome.

But why not be the one to make the first move? Not sure how to pick up guys? Well, it’s time you learned and played the field. [Read: It’s time to stop being a wallflower and learn how to talk to guys]

1. Don’t Wait

We know you’re probably waiting for the right time to come along where you can bump into him or smile at him to get his attention. What are you waiting for, honestly? You’re wasting your time.

If you want to exchange numbers and land a date, well, talk to him. So, don’t wait, just walk up to him and start a conversation.

Sure, you’ll be nervous but just think about how he’s feeling. A woman just approached him and that takes balls. [Read: How to introduce yourself to a guy: The guide to impress any guy]

2. Be Yourself

But really. We know this sounds like a lame tip, but it’s the most important one. Don’t try to be some mysteriously sexy woman because you’re going to come off as an idiot. [Read: 33 secrets to be true to yourself & signs you need to unfake your life]

You’re probably already sexy, so just be yourself. It’ll shine through. [Read: 30 things to talk about when you’re tongue-tied]

3. There’s No “Right Place”

You can meet men at bars, you can also meet them at grocery stores, bus stops, libraries, and your local swimming pool. Point is, men are everywhere. So, don’t limit yourself to only one place in order to find a guy.

Okay, maybe a doctor’s office isn’t the best place, but who knows, maybe it is. What I’m trying to say is, whenever you see a guy that you’re into, go talk to him.

4. Go Out to Different Venues

This one bar or club may be your favorite place to go, but you probably know everyone there. So, it’s time you ventured out and experienced other places. You’ll also get to meet different people than you typically see on a night out.

Plus, who knows where the guy of your dreams is hanging out on a Saturday night.

5. Don’t Go Out With a Gang of Women

There’s literally nothing more intimidating than a woman surrounded by a pack of women all staring and giggling at you while you talk to a guy.

If you’re going to hit on a guy, make sure your friends aren’t glaring at you from across the room.

In these cases, it’s best to be a one-woman show. Or if you need a wing woman, bring a close friend, not the entire crew. [Read: 25 characteristics to look for in a wing woman]

6. Be Prepared

No, we don’t mean condoms, but you should always carry some in your bag, FYI. What we’re talking about is what happens if your phone dies and you wanted to take his number? What if his phone is dead too?

In your bag, carry a pen and either a napkin or piece of paper. That way, if you need to, you can give him your number/take his number the old-fashioned way.

7. Just Say Hi

We know, you’re probably thinking, could it be that easy? Well, yeah. Just start the conversation by smiling and saying hi. If he’s smart, he’ll clue into the fact that you’re into him, and he’ll reply.

Most of the time, you don’t need a cheesy pickup line or to trip in front of him in order to start a conversation. [Read: Easy conversation starters you can use on a guy you like]

8. Ask Him to Dance

We know, this sounds a little high school, but it works like a charm. If you’re at the bar or near the dance floor and see a cute guy next to you, just turn to him and ask him if he wants to dance.

If he says no, go to the dance floor and dance anyway. You can’t lose. Either way, you get to dance.

9. Use Your Surroundings as Topics

If you’re nervous and unsure of what to talk about, well, use what’s around you. Maybe you’re at a bar and the music is really good or you’re at the gym and it’s his leg day *he’s a keeper*.

The point is, you have an endless source of conversation material that’s literally surrounding you.

10. Be Social

The only way to meet people, men, in particular, is if you’re social. Whether you’re at a bar, chess club, or running club, you need to socialize.

You don’t have to be the social butterfly, but talking to people around you will relax the atmosphere and your own nerves, allowing you to comfortably start a conversation with a guy you’re into. [Read: Easy ways to more social and genuinely connect with others]

11. Don’t Overthink

You may be freaking out or overanalyzing some things before, during, and after you talk to a guy, but don’t. All this will do is get you down a path of insecurity and fear, two things that you don’t need in your life. If you overanalyze, you’ll feel overwhelmed and will pull out of the situation.

12. Feel Sexy and Confident

If you feel sexy, well, he’s going to see it. Before you go figuring out how to pick up guys, you want to feel good about yourself when you approach him.

If you’re nervous and timid, he’s not going to respond well. Think of it like this, when a guy approaches you, the confident ones are usually the ones that get the attention, right? Same thing here. [Read: Tips to revamp and reveal the new and sexy you]

13. Flash a Genuine Smile

Nothing breaks the ice like a warm, genuine smile. It’s a universal signal of friendliness and approachability that can make you seem more inviting.

When you smile, it not only boosts your mood but also makes you more attractive to others. Plus, it’s a great way to show you’re interested without saying a word.

14. Show Off Your Sense of Humor

Let your sense of humor shine through. A good laugh not only eases tension but also creates a bond. Jokes or playful teasing can be a great way to gauge his sense of humor and see if you’re on the same wavelength. Remember, laughter is a key ingredient in the recipe of how to pick up guys.

15. Initiate Light Physical Contact

A light touch on the arm or a playful nudge can be very effective. It’s a non-verbal way of showing interest and seeing how he responds to physical contact. [Read: Types of touches: The 36 physical touches we use & what they mean]

Of course, always be mindful of his comfort and boundaries. Just as you wouldn’t appreciate feeling harassed if a guy was hitting on you, be sure to always respect his personal space and boundaries. This subtle approach can speak volumes in the language of attraction.

16. Compliment Him Genuinely

Everyone appreciates a genuine compliment. Find something you genuinely like about him – maybe it’s his style, his smile, or his witty remarks.

Compliments can open the door to further conversation and show that you’re paying attention. Plus, it’s a nice way to make someone feel good about themselves.

17. Show Interest in His Interests

If he mentions an interest or hobby, show genuine curiosity. Asking questions about his passions not only keeps the conversation flowing but also shows that you care about his interests.

This can lead to deeper, more meaningful interactions. Remember, understanding his world is a key step in how to pick up guys. [Read: How men bond with a woman: The art of connecting on a deeper level]

18. Offer to Buy Him a Drink

This is a classic role reversal and a clear signal of your interest. Offering to buy him a drink can be a great conversation starter and puts you in the driver’s seat.

It’s a simple gesture that breaks traditional norms and can be quite empowering. Plus, it’s a straightforward way of showing that you’re interested and generous.

19. Leave a Little Mystery

While being open is great, leaving a little to the imagination can be intriguing. Share about yourself, but don’t reveal everything all at once.

This creates an air of mystery and gives him a reason to want to know more about you. After all, a little mystery can add a lot of allure to the game of how to pick up guys.

20. You’re Going to Get Rejected

Yeah, we’re sorry, but it’s true. We know we like to think that every guy wants us, but that, my friends, is a lie. Your ego must accept that. But just because someone rejects you doesn’t mean you can’t continue on. [Read: 20 first moves that work like a charm when you want to make a move on a guy]

Dealing with Rejection When Picking Up Guys

Speaking of, stepping into the dating scene and learning how to pick up guys means sometimes facing the tough side of things: rejection.

It’s a universal experience, but the good news is that it doesn’t have to bring you down. Let’s explore some ways to handle rejection with poise and resilience.

1. Reframe Your Perspective

Remember, rejection is not a personal indictment of your worth; it’s just a sign of mismatched expectations or chemistry.

Each rejection is actually a step closer to finding a more suitable match. Think of it as a necessary part of the journey in the art of how to pick up guys. Every ‘no’ you encounter is merely a redirection toward a better ‘yes’. [Read: 36 healthy ways to handle rejection & respond positively even if it hurts]

2. Practice Self-Compassion

Being kind to yourself after facing rejection is crucial. Allow yourself to feel disappointed, but don’t indulge in self-criticism.

Engage in activities that make you happy and boost your self-esteem, like a favorite hobby or a relaxing self-care routine. This practice of self-compassion is essential for bouncing back and maintaining your confidence.

3. Stay Socially Connected

Reach out to friends and your social network for support. Sharing your experiences and feelings can be immensely therapeutic.

Participating in social activities that you enjoy can also reinforce your sense of self-worth and remind you that there’s more to life than dating. A strong support system is key to resilience, especially when navigating the complexities of how to pick up guys.

4. Keep Things in Perspective

It’s important to recognize that rejection is a normal part of dating. Each interaction is unique, and it’s unproductive to generalize a single rejection to your entire dating life.

Focus on your personal goals and values, and remember that not everyone you meet will align with them. Keeping a broad perspective ensures that a single rejection doesn’t overshadow your overall experience. [Read: Fear of rejection: 56 signs, causes & ways to overcome and get over it]

5. Continue to Put Yourself Out There

Persistence is key in learning how to pick up guys, as in any area of life. Don’t let the fear of rejection deter you from meeting new people and having new experiences.

Each interaction is a chance to learn more about yourself and what you look for in a partner. Courage is about moving forward despite the fear, and each step forward is a victory in itself.

Put the Power in Your Hands, Chase What You Want

It’s time to own your confidence, flash your best smile, and remember – you’re not just waiting for someone to sweep you off your feet. You’re the director of your own romantic comedy, and it’s about to get really fun. [Read: 50 secrets to get your shit together when you’re feeling really stuck in life]

Sure, knowing how to pick up guys isn’t a walk in the park, especially when we’ve been so used to being on the receiving end of the charm offensive. But hey, why not change the game? Put the power in your hands, and chase what you want. This isn’t just about finding a date. It’s about embracing your boldness, sparking some joy, and making your dating life as vibrant and exciting as you are.