11 Most Important Things in a Relationship that Hold It Together

No one ever said relationships were easy. The most important things in a relationship need attention, care, and nurturing in order to last.

Relationships are not simple. Just liking taking care of anything worthwhile, they require work, effort, and focus. But, what are the most important things in a relationship?

You don’t want to get carried away worrying about things like birthday presents when your communication is failing. Understand what the priorities are.

Knowing the most important things in a relationship

Everyone has their own priorities in life. It makes sense that those would carry over into a relationship. Some people are more concerned about the future while others want to be happy in the moment.

Of course, each person and each relationship will have its own focuses, but as long as you know what the most important things in a relationship are to you and your partner, you can work on them.

Maybe in your last relationship, intimacy was one of the most important things in your relationship. But now it could be communication or even compromise. In order to really know what the most important things in a relationship are, look at your relationship, what is most important to you and your partner, and how to work on it. [Read: These are 12 healthy relationship expectations for a good love life]

What are the most important things in a relationship

In case you’re not the best at analyzing your relationship to find the most important things, here are some ideas of what to focus on.

As I said, each relationship is different, but some things are the most important in almost all relationships. Even if they aren’t the most important things in yours, focusing on them definitely won’t hurt.

In fact, caring for all of the most important things in a relationship will only make your bond even stronger.

#1 Trust. After suffering for years in a relationship without trust, I have unique knowledge of how important trust is in a relationship. Without trust, all the other important things in a relationship will not last.

Trust is what any solid relationship is built on. When you don’t have that foundation, everything built on top will crumble. [Read: How to stop the codependency for a healthy relationship]

#2 Respect. Equality is not just the most important when it comes to equal pay, but in relationships too. Without respect, one person in the relationship will always feel less than the other. See your partner as an equal and appreciate their opinions and insights.

If you can’t do that in a relationship, not only will someone’s self-esteem suffer, but anger and resentment can easily take over.

#3 Compromise. Once you figure out respect, compromise comes with it. When you respect your partner you want to make them happy and compromise is a part of that.

A relationship is about finding happiness with another person. For both people to have that, compromise is one of the most important things in a relationship. You have to be willing to give a little and meet your partner halfway. [Read: 25 must-follow relationship rules for happy love]

#4 Communication. In order to successfully take care of the most important things in a relationship, take the time to communicate. You cannot assume you know what your partner is thinking and vice versa.

Without open and honest communication, you will never be on the same page. If that happens, things can go awry quickly.

#5 Humor. As serious as a lot of the most important things in a relationship are, a major part of maintaining any relationship is a great sense of humor. If you can’t laugh at yourselves you are living in dull and unhappy feelings.

Laughter is not just the best medicine but also the best way to enhance a relationship. [Read: The 12 types of humor and how each of them effect a relationship]

#6 Openness. We all have our own opinions, but when you’re in a relationship you cannot expect your partner to always agree with you. Being able to open your mind to your partner’s views is a major part of making a relationship work.

You do not need to change your mind. But be open enough to accept how you and your partner differ, not just what you have in common. [Read: 15 sweet gestures that express love without words]

#7 Intimacy. Intimacy can mean sex to some, to others it may mean closeness, and to some, it may mean chemistry. Whatever it means to you, it is one of the most important things in a relationship, whether you like it or not.

Without intimacy, a relationship becomes a friendship.

#8 Independence. You may be surprised to be reading this. No healthy relationship can survive without independence. If two people depend solely on each other for happiness, they are doomed. You should able to focus on yourself and your job or interests.

One of the most important things in a relationship is that your partner adds to your already happy life, not that they are your happy life. [Read: Are you codependent? 14 signs you’re clingy and overstepping boundaries]

#9 Safety. Safety and security in a relationship may not be what you need as a teenager. Once you are looking for a lasting bond, you want to know you can depend on them in good times and bad.

You want to know not only that you’re physically safe, but also that your heart is safe.

#10 Goals. When you want a relationship that will make it through the long haul, one of the most important things is that your future goals line up. So many people hope that their partner will change what they want down the line. If you don’t want the same things out of life now, you may never.

#11 Love. I know, I know, I’m a real softy. But love makes you want to focus on the most important things in a relationship. Without love, the rest of it won’t feel how it should and how you want it to. [Read: The 20 feelings that best describe what true love feels like]

How to take care of the most important things in a relationship

None of the most important things in a relationship come easily. You should work on them and nurture them for a relationship to successfully last.

Just because you have trust, love, and intimacy now doesn’t mean it will last if you don’t work on it.

But, how do you work on it? Well, go back to point three. Communication is the only way to ensure you have all the other most important things in a relationship. If you can’t talk about your future, your independence, or security with your partner, you’ll never be able to work on it.

You may hope this all comes naturally to you and your partner, but talking about the most important things in a relationship is vital to know where each other is mentally and physically.

People change and grow over time. If you don’t talk about that, the relationship won’t grow and change with you.

[Read: Long term relationship advice to transform your love life]

As long as you and your partner know the most important things in a relationship, you can work on them. Just make sure you are on the same page.