Workplace Flirting: 28 Subtle Signs a Coworker is Flirting & Hitting on You

You think that one of your coworkers likes you, so now you want to know if a coworker is flirting. Here’s what to look for and the pros and cons of it.

When you’re working with other people, you naturally build relationships with them over time. These are people you literally see more than your family or partner. So, how can you not get to know them? Sometimes romance blooms in unexpected places, and understanding the signs that a coworker is flirting with you can help you know if they’re just being friendly or want something more.

The subtle signs to know if a coworker is flirting

Sometimes getting to know your co-workers can turn into something more. Outside of the office, it can be easier to tell if someone is flirting with you. But at work, there are unspoken rules. One of them is not to flirt with or date coworkers.

And it makes sense to have those rules in place, but at the same time, we’re only human. At work, people try hard to cover up their emotions and hide their feelings for coworkers they’re interested in.

[Read: How to handle a co-worker crush like an adult]

And that can be annoying, especially if you are interested in them as well. So, of course, if you want to know what the subtle signs are, it could be your chance to connect with someone you have feelings for. It’ll save you a lot of time trying to figure out what’s going on.

If you realize they’re not flirting with you, you can move on. And if they are flirting with you, well, this is great news. Now you can take a step forward. Yes, yes, you shouldn’t date people you work with, but at the same time, you only live once. Just as long as you know the consequences if it doesn’t work out and can handle them, then go for it. Who knows what could happen? [Read: How to flirt at work while keeping it harmless and fun]

It can be tough to tell, but these signs of flirting at work will shed light on the situation.

1. You feel it

What can we say, when it comes to intuition, follow it. Your gut may be wrong sometimes, but that’s very rare.

If you have the feeling that your coworker is flirting with you at work, then you’re probably right. Of course, the rest of these signs will help you come to a final decision. You may think, “but they’re married,” but listen, married people flirt as well. [Read: How to listen to your gut and give strength to your inner voice]

2. Small, minor touches

This is a huge sign that your coworker is flirting. You can never tell if they touch you on purpose or if it’s an accident.

Since they’re your coworker, they’re not going to be obvious with their actions. They may touch your arm, brush by you, and pat you on the shoulder. But they wouldn’t be touching you unless they’re trying to communicate their feelings to you.

3. Their behavior changes when they’re around you

Your coworker may not openly be flirting with you, but that doesn’t mean they’re not flirting with you. If they become more chatty, tell more jokes, or become nervous around you, it’s a sign that they’re interested in you.

If their behavior changes right when they’re around you, that’s a sign. [Read: The clear signs you’ve got a work husband or wife]

4. They’re always there

Whether it’s when you’re on a break or just walking around the office, it’s like they’re always there.

Do you think that’s by chance? Not likely. If anything, they’re trying to line themselves up to bump into you or just see what you’re up to.

5. They are eye contact heavy

Whether you’re at work or at a bar, eye contact is a great way to see if someone is interested in you. Eye contact is super flirty and in this case, is one of the indisputable signs of flirting at work.

If someone is looking at you for longer than normal, giving you a smile – they’re flirting with you. But if they’re looking away from you, don’t be fooled; they’re not interested. [Read: Prolonged eye contact flirting – What it means and how to do it]

6. They mention their weaknesses

This may sound a little strange, but not if you think about it for a second. Sure, it’s not the most desirable way to get someone’s attention, but it works. If they’re pointing out their weaknesses to raise awareness of your strengths, that’s a form of flirting.

7. They are on your social media

Now, many of our co-workers are on our social media, so this isn’t a sign. But what is a sign is that they’re constantly liking everything you post. Maybe they’ll even leave a comment as well. Social media is a great way to see if you’re on someone’s radar. If they take the time to check out your social media, it’s a sign. [Read: The subtle clues to know if your crush likes you back]

8. They’re excited to see you

Okay, they’re not jumping up and down in joy, but when they see you at work in the morning, you can see their eyes brighten with joy. Oh, they’re happy to see you, that’s for sure. If your coworker shines like the sun when you talk, they like you.

9. They laugh at your jokes

For them, you’re the funniest person on earth. They’re always laughing at every joke you make, whether a good one or not.

Sorry, but we all make bad jokes from time to time! But no matter what, they give your joke a chuckle or giggle. This is an obvious sign they’re flirting with you.

10. They want to hang out outside of work

Yes, you have a nice relationship at work, but they want to take things outside of the office. Maybe they’ll invite you to a concert during the weekend, or for drinks on Friday.

This is a sign that they want into your life. They want to be more than just a coworker because they are flirting with you. [Read: How to know if you have a real crush on a workplace colleague]

11. They get you coffee

Sure, this may sound rudimentary, but don’t be fooled by this kind gesture. If your coworker gets you coffee every morning, just the way you like it, they like you. No one invests their time bringing a coworker coffee unless there’s a reason why.

12. They ask questions about your personal life

It’s common to be friends with your coworkers, but it usually takes time before you learn about their life. And even then, they usually don’t know personal details about you. But if your coworker asks you questions about your relationship status, etc., then it’s a sign they’re scoping you out.

13. They defend you at work

Maybe you made a mistake at work, or another coworker has been spreading rumors behind your back. Well, they’re not going to let that slide. Instead of going along with it, they defend you.

Now, maybe they’re the type of person who would do that, or maybe they like you.

14. They help you with work

Maybe you’re swamped with work, but don’t worry; they always offer to help you out.

Now, let’s get real. Why would anyone want to do extra work? Exactly. No one wants to do that. So, if someone offers to help you out and has shown these other signs, they like you.

15. Suddenly, you have matching work schedules

This one may be a little weird if you’re not into your coworker. But if you are interested in your coworker, then it works out quite nicely.

Anyways, if suddenly you have matching schedules, something happened on their end. This isn’t chance; it shows they’re into you. [Read: The lusty signs a coworker is sexually attracted to you]

16. They remember important dates

If it’s your birthday, they organize the cake and office gift. But don’t rely solely on this sign. It needs to be paired with others on this list as well. They could just be the type of person who enjoys celebrating a coworker’s birthday and organizing events.

17. They want to have lunch with you

Whether it’s a formal lunch out at a restaurant, eating your sandwiches together in the kitchen at work, or just hanging out in the break room, they want to get you alone. They want to have uninterrupted time that they can spend with you and get to know you better.

18. They ask for your number *or social media*

When people work together, they don’t always have each other’s phone numbers or follow each other on social media. That’s something that people do only when they are close to someone they work with, or they want to get to know better.

So, if a coworker is flirting and trying to inch their way into your private life, that is one of the big signs. [Read: Friendly vs. flirty – 22 signs to tell if someone is flirting with you]

19. They text or message you

If you give them your number or your social media handle, then you hear from them. They might text you, Snap you, or DM you.

Either way, they are trying to make contact outside of work. That’s because they want to take your work relationship to the next level.

20. They pay way more attention to you than other coworkers 

You probably work with a lot of people. So, you and everyone else have a lot of options of who to talk to and interact with when you’re on the job.

Therefore, if you find that this one person is paying a lot more attention to you than anyone else, there is a reason. They are probably trying to flirt with you.

Beyond flirting with a coworker – Pros and cons of dating them

Okay, now that you know the signs that a coworker is flirting, you might have come to the conclusion that one of your coworkers is, in fact, flirting with you. And if you like them too, then you might be wondering about whether or not you should date. [Read: Dating a coworker – 10 biggest do’s and don’ts you can’t ignore]

The flirting could go absolutely nowhere. But on the other hand, it could escalate into a date or even a relationship in the future. So before you go down that road, it’s important to think about the pros and cons of dating a coworker so you can make an informed decision.

Pros

Here are the pros of dating a coworker.

1. You already know them

You probably have been working with this person for a while and have gotten to know them pretty well. In that way, it’s a lot better than meeting a stranger on a dating app or in a bar.

At least you know them as a person a little bit. Instead of spending days or weeks trying to see if you like someone on a dating app, you already know. [Read: 34 subtle signs a coworker likes you and is deeply infatuated by you]

2. You have the same work lives

When two people work together, they share a camaraderie. They might have the same boss and the same work problems.

So, if you date a coworker, you won’t have to try to figure out how to explain your day at work to your partner because they were there too. They can relate and identify with your work life because they are living the same life.

3. You can spend time together

A lot of couples are so busy with their jobs and other things going on in their lives that they rarely get to see each other. But when you are dating someone you work with, you get to see them all the time. Some people might say that this is also a con, but for some people, it’s a pro.

4. It’s exciting

Most people know that you “shouldn’t” date a coworker, but when you are flirting with each other, it’s exciting. So when you do, you might want to keep it a secret. And there’s something to be said for doing something “forbidden.” It’s exciting and gives you an adrenaline rush. [Read: 20 signs a coworker is sexually attracted to you and wants to seduce you]

Cons

As with anything else in life, there are also cons to dating a coworker.

1. You might know them too well

Just as this could be a pro – that you already know them – it could also be a con. It’s possible that the initial attraction to this person was because of the things you had in common.

But maybe over time, you begin to find those things that you used to like don’t really interest you anymore. The newness was fun, but it can wear off.

2. Jealousy

If you’re dating a coworker, then you will be able to see how they interact with everyone else in your workplace. Maybe your partner seems a little too friendly with another coworker, and it could cause a problem between the two of you. [Read: How to deal with jealousy in a relationship and learn to overcome it]

3. Bring your problems into the workplace

When you are dating someone, you will inevitably have fights and disagreements eventually. But when you don’t work with your partner, you can forget about it for a while until you go back home. However, when you work together, you can bring that tension to work with you.

4. Competitiveness

If the two of you work in similar jobs in similar departments, you could get competitive with each other. What if both of you apply for the same promotion, or one of you gets a raise and the other doesn’t? That could create a sense of competition between the two of you.

[Read: How to decode the behavior of your crush]

After taking a look at these signs that a coworker is flirting with you, what do you think? Is your co-worker flirting with you? A better question, what are you going to do about it?