Why Do Men Like a Chase and How to Use it in Your Favor

People want what they can’t have, and that includes men. So, if you are wondering why men like a chase when it comes to women, here are your answers. 

For a long time, women have always been told to play hard to get. And for just as long, men have been known to like the chase. But to truly excel in the dating game, you need to understand the whys before you blindly follow something that’s been passed from one woman’s ear to another.

Playing hard to get can feel conflicting for women, especially when you’re told to play hard to get from a guy you really like. If you like him, and he likes you, why would you want to play chase?

Don’t fret. We’re here to break down the common misconceptions about playing hard to get and explain why men like the chase. [Read: Guys who play games – 17 signs & reasons why & what you need to do]

Differences between men and women

A man’s natural instinct to enjoy when a woman plays hard to get can be traced back to the hunter and gatherer days. Put simply, the men were the hunters, and the women were the gatherers.

The men left the family and went out to hunt animals to feed themselves and their families. Meanwhile, the women gathered plants and related food items because that did not require a “hunting instinct”, instead, their instinct was to tend to the survival of the babies.

As you can imagine, the “hunting instinct” and the “maternal/gathering instinct” are two very different things.

Fast forward thousands of years and men still have the “hunting instinct.” The only difference is now there are no real animals to hunt *at least in the modern, civilized world*. So, where do they find outlets to practice their hunting instincts?

They find outlets for their hunting instincts in the modern world by chasing attainable things in life. And by chasing after a woman’s affection, they feel a sense of worth – which is a major boost for their ego and masculinity. [Read: Do guys play hard to get? The truth, 21 reasons & what you should do]

Men like the chase for their ego

Men are naturally drawn to competition. The act of achieving something deemed unattainable by other men boosts their sense of strength and “manliness.” So in terms of chasing a girl, men often enjoy competing for her attention.

They know that a great girl gets all the attention in the world. So when a lot of great guys try to woo her and date her, she obviously has a lot of options.

The great girl then evaluates the odds and sees which guy likes her a lot more than the others and also tests her compatibility at the same time.

So what guys call a chase isn’t really a chase, it’s the girl’s way of weighing the odds and picking one who seems more determined and willing to prove his love for her.

So when a guy finally emerges as the winner of a great girl’s attention, he obviously knows he’s better than all the other competition. Now, that’s a huge boner in his ego and he feels like he’s just won a big prize. [Read: 21 ways to stroke a guy’s ego & make him feel like a man when he’s down]

The chase helps men realize how important the girl is

Men fall in love in stages. Their first priority when meeting a girl is to grab her attention before they consider her truly worthy of dating material. This is the tricky part of a man’s mind that you really need to understand. [Read: The seven stages of love for men]

Like women, men are critical of their potential partners and will easily form opinions based on how “easy to get” someone is. So if you’re too easy to get, he may wonder if he deserves someone better.

But don’t let this sway you from acting on how you truly feel. If you do end up kissing him on the first date or even having sex with him, just don’t worry about it. The chase only helps you evaluate a dating potential.

If you’re certain that both of you like each other already, just take the plunge! [Read: How to tell if a guy wants to date you – 15 signs you keep missing]

The intensity of the chase

You may try to make a man chase you around for a few weeks, but if he doesn’t really like you or think you’re to die for, he may just get bored and walk away halfway through the chase. And you’d look like an idiot when you turn around with a flirty smile and see that the guy’s long gone.

The intensity of a man’s chase depends on how madly in love he is with you. If you really do like a guy who’s pursuing you, then take it easy on him.

But if you’re unsure if you like a guy back or wondering if he’s just trying to get into your pants, play hard to get and see if he sticks around. [Read: 32 secrets to play hard to get with a guy selectively & leave him smitten]

And remember, a guy isn’t chasing you because he feels obligated to. Chances are, he likes how the chase makes him feel and he actively wants to pursue it. This is why it’s important not to lead a guy on who you don’t want to be chased by.

Should women play hard to get?

In a general scenario, women should definitely play hard to get. It makes a guy value the relationship more and helps him understand your worth.

And if he values the relationship, he’ll think less about walking out on you and more about spending time pleasing you. [Read: The right way to meet the one]

Playing hard to get only works well if you both like each other. If you are playing hard to get without having any interest in the guy, we suggest not going through with it. Don’t be the woman who toys with a man’s emotions just for fun.

How to make the chase work for you?

If you want to have a successful relationship with a dating potential, don’t commit to him… At least at the beginning.

Don’t tell him that you’re falling for him or that you miss him. When he realizes that he’s made a deep impression on you, he’ll start taking it easy and call the shots instead of trying to woo you.

To give him a chase that he’ll enjoy. Every now and then, give him a happy moment out of the blue that’ll give him a boost of renewed vigor to pursue you with more intensity.

A thoughtful message or a kiss when he least expects it are great starters to let him know that you appreciate his wooing and are slowly starting to fall for him too. [Read: What to text a guy to make him want you – 25 steamy texts he’ll love]

Although playing the chase is fun, you still need to be cautious. Don’t pursue him back if he lets go of you after a while. Most guys assume that a chase is a game played by the book when it really isn’t.

Don’t play hard to get with a guy who doesn’t seem genuinely interested in you, and definitely don’t chase him once he’s finished chasing you if your gut is telling you not to.

If a guy genuinely likes you and isn’t trying to get into your pants, he definitely wouldn’t be thinking of turning the tables of the chase. [Read: Stop chasing him – why guys run & why you shouldn’t chase them]

The successful chase strategy for women

If a guy is really interested in dating you for who you are and not to win you as a prize to satiate his ego or to get into your pants, he will definitely try his best to win your heart.

When you ignore a guy or treat him badly, it isn’t called a chase. It’s a mind game that will likely not end in your favor. Instead, respect the man who pursues you and appreciate what he does for you. He’ll like you even more.

Slow and steady chase

If you want to have a successful chase, go out with him and date him with all the excitement and enthusiasm you have in your heart. Let him even know that you’re happy to spend time with him, but find ways to leave him wanting more.

Always remember to always stop one step short of what he wants all the while giving him a glimmer of hope that’s one step higher than the last time the both of you went out. [Read: How to show a guy you like him & charm him while being a real tease]

Don’t get it? If you’ve clasped his hand on the first date, allow him to hold your palm on the second. If you’ve exchanged a little peck on the lips on the third date, share a bit more on the next date.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve started with just a smile, every now and then, share just a bit more even if you’ve not been on a date with him just yet. It’ll let him know that the relationship is evolving slowly, and it’ll help him realize that you’re starting to like him a lot too.

If kisses and nights in bed aren’t your style, you can still play hard to get by taking it slower. If you’ve clasped hands for a few seconds, hold it a bit longer. If you’ve hugged each other, give him a small kiss on the cheek. But always remember to take it to the next little level only if he does something special for you.

This may not be your typical definition of a chase, but it is one of the fairest ways to play the game of a chase between men and women. [Read: How to flirt after the first date & create the right kind of sparks]

By taking it slowly, you’re ensuring that the guy you’re dating isn’t just trying to get into your pants. At the same time, you’re getting the chance to completely fall in love with each other without rushing through the steps and letting sexual attraction and lust cloud your judgment.

Sex always has a way of complicating things, so unless you’ve ended up having sex on the first couple of dates, keep your mind clear of everything but the happiness you feel when it’s just the both of you.

Why the slow and steady chase will always work in your favor

Several studies have shown that a relationship with a longer courting time has a better chance of lasting for a very long time compared to relationships where there wasn’t a long courting time.

This is because when you play hard to get the right way, you’re ensuring that the attraction isn’t just sexual in nature. You’re both slowly falling in love with each other instead of just looking for quick gratification.

The chase is a way for a man to prove to you and to himself that everything he does for you is worth it. He thinks you’re worth it. [Read: 20 ways to make your man realize your worth in the relationship & value you]

So don’t blindly play the chasing game and assume chasing a guy away works because someone said so. Understand why something works and think about it, because that’s the only way to really understand why we do what we do. This is especially important when it comes to relationships where second chances are so difficult to come by.

[Read: Is he the one? 32 signs to know if he’s the one who’s perfect for you]

Try this chase the next time you’re dating a new guy. Both of you will really understand where the relationship is heading. And you’ll realize that it always works in your favor.