Why Can’t I Get a Girlfriend? 32 Mistakes that Ruin Your Chances

Wondering, why can’t I get a girlfriend? There are a few honest questions you need to ask yourself. Are you doing something wrong or is it just bad timing?

Most men who want a girlfriend – but can’t get one – tend to point the finger at women. It’s easy to do this, point the finger at someone else and blame them for your loss. Heck, women do this too! But at the end of the day, if you’re the one sitting all by yourself in a quiet corner of your room, and wondering, why can’t I get a girlfriend, it’s probably got something to do with you.

It’s hard to self-reflect and ask yourself the hard questions. But honestly, if you really do want a girlfriend, it’s time you did some honest talking in front of the mirror.

[Read: How do people become self-centered and stop caring about others]

It’s annoying when lousy guys get great girls and you don’t!

It’s the worst feeling in the world, right? You’re walking down a street, feeling great about yourself and hiding that pit of despair you’re feeling because you’re so lonely. And suddenly, you see a really good looking girl wrapped tightly around the arms of a guy who looks and behaves like a totally jackass *in your eyes!*.

It’s frustrating, because you don’t understand what girls see in him, but don’t see in you.

You’re not alone in feeling this way. This thought crosses the minds of many guys who are probably just as single or lonely as you. But what binds all these guys is one single thing – they’re in denial.

For some reason, it’s so easy for these guys to easily pick flaws in other guys in a flash. But yet, when they look at themselves in the mirror, all they see is pure perfection.

[Read: Frustration attraction – Why their denial actually makes you like women more]

Stop living in denial if you want a great girl

No, it’s not that women are blind or that they don’t like nice guys. They have eyes, and they can see you. In fact, they may even be able to see you far better and deeper than you can see yourself!

So, if women aren’t giving you a second glance, or don’t seem interested in you when you talk to them, there’s obviously something you’re doing that’s rubbing them the wrong way.

It could be something small – you chew with your mouth open or don’t know when to stop talking. Or it could be something bigger, like appearing unconfident, or obnoxious. But these things can be changed, and with a little work, you’ll be able to ditch the “why can’t I get a girlfriend” sob story and get some solid dates.

[Read: 18 qualities of a good man that sets him apart from lesser men]

Are some guys just more unlucky than others?

If you’re a guy, especially one who’s wondering, why can’t I get a girlfriend, big chances are, you’re convinced you’re just unlucky. Almost every single *and slightly obnoxious* guy has this deep-rooted belief that they’re unlucky in love. And that somehow, every other guy is just luckier with the ladies.

Let’s assume this is true. Yes, there is a possibility of lady luck being against you. Maybe you were just at the wrong place at the wrong time, and another guy hooked a great girl “in your absence”. But the odds of you being unlucky for several weeks or years in a row, that’s pretty slim, don’t you think?

Can you really explain away your lack of luck with the ladies to bad luck for several years? As much as you do believe you’re hot stuff and god’s gift to women on earth, you have to be honest. At least, to yourself.

At some point, you need to face the harsh reality that maybe it’s you that needs a bit of fixing! [Read: 23 signs you’re an immature manchild who thinks he’s awesome]

How to get out of the “why can’t I get a girlfriend” mind frame

It’s time you realize that it’s not the women at fault. You just need to start looking at yourself. That’s really hard to do for some people. But if you want to stop wondering “why can’t I get a girlfriend” then you have no choice.

The honest truth is that women are looking for great guys, just as hard as you’re looking for great girls. You just need to reflect deeply and fix what’s wrong with you when it comes to the ladies.

So let’s take a look at the real reasons why you can’t get a girlfriend, and what you can do to change that.

1. You’re actually not even trying

If you’re whining and complaining about not having a girlfriend but then spend your time not approaching women, well, what do you honestly expect? That one day some girl will walk up to you and give her hand to you in marriage? If you’re not trying, well, that’s your first problem. [Read: How to approach women – The 15 tips you absolutely need to know]

2. You want Miss Perfect

Yeah, everyone wants that. But we can’t just sit around and wait for that to happen, can we? Exactly. Yes, you want this hot chick with perfect perky boobs that defy gravity, a juicy ass, and a personality to die for.

She may exist, but it’s a rare find. Why don’t you look for someone who’s real instead? Chances are, you’re not Mr. Perfect right now either. So you’re building this fantasy in your head of perfection when you’re not giving the same back in return. [Read: How to manifest love – The mental steps to take to attract the perfect partner for you]

3. You’re not independent

It’s cool to live with your parents, and not have a real job right now. However, at some point, let’s say your late twenties, you’re going to want to branch off on your own. Why? Because it’s a sign of growing up, which women find very appealing… unless you’re Italian, then you can live with your parents until death.

4. If you’re rejected, you quit

Rejection is a part of life. You probably got denied a job or a college that you wanted to go to. That’s also rejection. It’s happened to you before, so being rejected by a woman isn’t much different. If you’re wondering, why can’t I get a girlfriend, here’s where you’re going wrong.

Your mistake is that you take rejection from a woman personally, and you allow it to prevent you from talking to other women. That’s the issue.

You have to take it as a speed bump and keep driving. Stop letting your ego get to you, and man up and get out there again. [Read: Asking a girl out – How to overcome your fear of rejection]

5. Mr. Nice Guy

Being a good person is a good thing. But are you pretending to be a “nice guy” who’s overly meek and accommodating just to get into a girl’s pants? Yeah, girls can see though that act.

Don’t be that guy who tries to be extra nice because he isn’t man enough to stand up for himself. Kindness is good, however, being a pushover is not. No girl would want to date a guy who is weak, and hides under a mask of niceness to sleep with her. [Read: Nice guy syndrome – 16 reasons why girls find you really boring]

6. It’s all about you

You, you, you. Every conversation starts and ends with you. Actually, people can’t remember a story that you didn’t put yourself in. That’s not a good thing. It’s dull, and you’re obnoxious. You’re annoying the people around you with your narcissism. [Read: The conversational narcissist – Do you love talking and hate listening?]

7. You’re boring

If your only hobby is washing your car or looking at yourself in the mirror, get a hobby. Read a book or watch a film – do something that you’ll be able to talk about or share with the world around you. If you’re boring, no one will want to hang around you.

8. Bad conversational skills

Do you expect others to do all the talking? Or are you one of those guys who just can’t read the room or see when others are yawning as you’re going on about the same boring topic for over five minutes?

Sometimes, what you think may be interesting could be boring to others. Learn to read the signs, and change the topic the second someone seems bored. [Read: How to improve your conversation skills and read the room when you’re talking to girls]

9. You’re self-conscious

If you’re worried about looking like a fool or saying something stupid, well, you’re missing out on your chance to talk to that cute chick over there. We’re all self-conscious, so what? You’re gonna let every girl walk by you because of your hairline?

If you want to get a girlfriend, you really need to overcome your shyness and take that chance. No one cares if you fail, so go right ahead. [Read: How to overcome shyness – 16 ways to transform your life]

10. You’re the shy guy in your group

You may be the shy guy in your group of friends. This isn’t a bad thing, but unless a girl is more talkative or makes a move, you probably won’t talk to her. That’s a problem. If you’re shy, try to at least make some small talk to get something going.

11. You don’t know how to balance work and play

Your issue may simply be that you’re always on a business call when you’re on a date. That can be quite the turn-off. You need to have a balance between your work and personal life because no girl wants to come second after a cell phone. [Read: What women find attractive – 16 traits that instantly draw girls]

12. You stay at home and play video games on Friday night

Video games are fun, but you won’t find the love of your life playing games by yourself. If you want to get a girlfriend, go out with your friends, it’s the only way to meet new people and interesting women. Go to house parties, go to clubs, just make an effort in going out and meeting new people.

13. You don’t show that you like her

Maybe you really do like her, however, you never expressed it to her. So, now you two are really good friends. Yay! Well, if you want a girl to understand that you’re interested in her, you’re going to have to show it. That, or run the risk of being just in the friend zone. [Read: How to let a girl know you like her without really telling her]

14. You have an emotional wall built up

You’ve been hurt in the past, or you’re inexperienced, so now you have this giant wall built. If you want to get a girlfriend, you’re going to have to allow that wall to come down. Is it scary? Hell yes. But you have to do it if you want something real.

15. You want to have the perfect life before having a girlfriend

You want the house, the car, the amazing job… you want it all. But if you’re waiting for those things to happen before you get a girlfriend, it’s not going to work. You can’t try to plan life while it’s happening. Don’t ignore something great when it comes your way because it’s not the next step in your big life plans!

16. There are wrong places to meet women

If you’re going to a men’s only gym, you probably won’t find the lady of your dreams there. You need to go to some places where the type of woman you want will be. If you want someone athletic – go hiking, swimming, or to a sports class. [Read: The best places to meet women who are real girlfriend material]

17. You’re an over-thinker

Aren’t we all? All of us do it now and then, especially if you want to make sure nothing goes wrong. But what you need to do is to re-focus your thoughts and not become obsessed with finding a girlfriend. Or else all you’ll meet are the wrong women.

18. She’s the wrong type of girl

You’re looking at the wrong type of girl. You have this image of some badass chick who smokes weed, dresses like an emo chick, and rides a motorcycle before riding you at night.

But at the end of the day, that’s not what you actually need. Sit down and figure out what you really want in a woman, and then go out and find her. [Read: How to sexually attract a girl and max your desirability]

19. You move things too fast

Oh, you like her. You really, really like her. You want that second date tomorrow, and then you want her to meet your mom on Saturday. Whoa… just cool it down there. You want everything, however, you want it way too fast. You’re scaring her. You’re actually scaring her. So, take it down a notch and just go with the flow. [Read: 25 biggest dating deal breakers for women]

20. You think you’re special

You’re not special. Sure, you may have a six pack or a pretty face, but so what? You think you’re the only one? We all have stomach muscles, get over yourself. This whole “I’m special” attitude is making women literally roll their eyes in your presence.

21. You’re obnoxious 

Yeah, that’s right, you have shitty social skills and you probably don’t know it. Maybe you’re just an asshole, but the point is, why would she spend an ounce of her time with you if you treat her like shit?

If a girl seems interested at first, and totally ignores you five minutes into getting to know her, there’s a good chance you’re the obnoxious guy. [Read: 11 bad social habits that make you completely undateable]

22. Everyone else is the problem

You can’t get a girlfriend because it’s everyone else’s fault except yours. Sure, this sounds minuscule, but this spreads over the other areas of your life. You have to take responsibility for yourself. Who wants to date a guy who blames everything on everyone else?

23. You haven’t done anything for yourself

Women don’t need you to go to university or do a marathon to impress them. But they want to see a man who’s mature and interested in doing something for himself. If you’re in the same place as you were five years ago, it looks like you’re unmotivated and lack self-respect. [Read: How to be the hot guy – 20 rules to instant hotness]

24. You don’t care about women

This isn’t a bad thing, unless you hate women… that’s something different. This could simply mean you’ve been hurt in the past and are now numb or you’re not ready. But if you don’t care about women, then this is a decent reason why you don’t have a girlfriend. [Read: 18 signs you’re a misogynist who hates women for no reason]

25. You need a shower

You stink… like physically smell. Take a shower, use some soap, get a haircut – you know, clean up. You may think no one else can smell you. But if you can get a whiff of your own body odor, chances are, everyone else for a mile already has. Get that resolved, smell great, and you’ll be good to go.

26. You’re too entitled

Some guys behave like the world owes them a favor just for existing. Don’t be that guy. If for some reason, you believe a woman owes you sex or a date just because you’re talking to her or buy her a drink, that’s you being too entitled.

Your entitlement comes from your own deep rooted psychological issues, so get them fixed first! [Read: How to get rid of that sense of entitlement that’s ruining your life]

27. You don’t want to change for the better

You may know exactly what’s wrong with you, and why you’re not getting a girlfriend. But then, you don’t want to change that part of you because it’s too difficult or time consuming. You just want the best girl to plonk herself on your lap, without the hassle of creating a better version of yourself.

28. You’re selfish

And you know it! You don’t do anything nice for someone unless you think they’ll return the favor. You care only about yourself. The reason why you want a girlfriend is because you want someone hot to have sex with and look good in your arms.

You don’t want to date her because you want to share your love with her. You just want her so your needs can be satisfied. Really, as hard as you try to mask this, all women can see through this act in a flash. [Read: How to stop being selfish – 20 ways to stop hurting and using others]

29. You need to get fit

This may sound shallow, but do you think you’re totally unaware and not in control of your own body as you walk past two tables? Of course, your glowing personality and confidence could make up for this.

But if you are having a hard time winning over women at first glance, maybe it’s time to hit the gym, and focus just a bit more on health and a better posture.

30. You get clingy

So you got her number today, and you text her. She hasn’t responded yet, so you bombard her phone with 10 other texts and questions marks *???*. Whoa, take a chill pill and cool it down a bit, Romeo!

Expecting any girl you talk to, to be available 24/7 to cater to your whims, can make any girl want to ghost you or block you. Seriously, stop fantasizing about marrying her or making her have your babies after the first conversation. Take it easy, and give her the space to breathe. [Read: How to flirt with a girl over text – 20 tips you MUST know]

31. You want her to make the first move

Yeah, what a dream that would be, right? Some girls have no problem making the first move, however, many let the guy do the work. If she doesn’t make the first move, you’ll have to. Get used to it. [Read: How to talk to a girl – The secrets to smooth talk and impress girls]

32. You’re not as good as you think you are

This may be a big blow to your ego and self-esteem. But if you’re wondering, why can’t I get a girlfriend, maybe it’s time you accept this truth. You’re not as good as you assume you are. You may carry yourself with arrogance and expect any women you lock eyes with to fall at your feet because you’re so awesome.

But guess what, considering the fact that you’re the one without a girl, big chances are, you’re not good enough for her. So if you do want a girl who’s great, make sure you’re a great guy yourself.

[Read: How to get any girl to like you – 18 secrets to impress any girl]

Now, don’t say “why can’t I get a girlfriend” anymore! You read the list, just put in some elbow grease, and figure out what’s up and change yourself for the better. It’s simple, once you accept your flaws and fix them.