What to Do When She’s Taken & You Can’t Stop Thinking About Her

You meet a girl, find she’s amazing, but there’s a catch – she’s taken. If you can’t stop thinking about her, here are ways that can help your situation.

Sometimes we meet someone and they take hold of our head. We can’t stop thinking about them no matter what and if this is you, but she’s taken, you’re probably going through a rough time. Thankfully, there are ways to get through it if you can’t stop thinking about her.

We can’t always control our emotions and thoughts, but we can do something about our actions.

We know how tough it is to like someone that’s taken. But you can’t be the guy who tries to wedge himself in the middle of their relationship. That’s not okay and she’ll most likely be turned off by you.

[Read: 33 steps to stop thinking about someone you like but can’t have]

Why some people just stick in our minds

You’re probably wondering why you can’t stop thinking about her. She may seem like just another girl when you first saw her, or when you first got interested in her. And you assumed you’d be able to ignore her in no time. But for some reason, you just can’t stop thinking about her.

You were attracted to her and now you can’t help but think of her all the time. The thing is, we want what we can’t have.

The idea that she’s not yours *and probably will never be* is enough to consume you of thoughts about wanting her. This is why we often chase people who don’t want us and the ones who do want us, we end up ignoring. It’s unusual, but it’s human nature.

But of course, you wouldn’t be thinking about her 24/7 if she didn’t impress you in some way. No matter what, she got your attention and that’s why she’s in your head. [Read: 20 signs of attraction in the first conversation]

Is it bad if you can’t stop thinking about her?

No, not necessarily. As we said, we can’t control our thoughts, and we find it difficult to do so. It’s human nature that you can’t stop thinking about her, even if she’s someone you can’t have. As long as you don’t do anything to act on your feelings for her, then it isn’t a bad thing.

You don’t have to feel guilty if you aren’t doing anything about your thoughts of her. But the moment you try to steal her away from her guy, that’s when it becomes wrong. Or worse, everything just gets way more complicated. And chances are, you’d be the one left nursing a painful heartbreak. This is why the earlier you’re able to stop thinking about her, the better.

It’ll help you live a generally more peaceful life *it can be stressful to want someone you can’t have, after all*. [Read: What to do if I like someone who’s already taken?]

What to do when you can’t stop thinking about her

Unfortunately, no matter how much you like her, she’s taken or probably isn’t interested in you. That means you can’t pursue her and instead, you have to try and get her out of your mind. Here are a few things you can do to stop thinking of her, and live your life normally again.

1. Stop stalking her social media

Yes. You need to stop. The more you see her, the more you’re going to be thinking about her. Do yourself a favor and just stop stalking her social media accounts. If you’re serious about wanting to stop thinking of her, then control yourself to refrain from doing this.

This might be really hard to do because you have so much access to her photos and basically her life through social media. Be stronger than your desires. Do you know that constant stalking is just going to make you think *and even dream* about her more?

So, it’s all the more reason to stop stalking. [Read: What it means when you dream of your crush – 14 possible scenarios and explanations]

2. Shut down thoughts the second they pop up

This takes even more self-control than avoiding her Instagram. You’ll have to force yourself to think of other things when she pops up in your mind. It is possible, but only if you try every single time. It takes a lot of self-awareness and discipline to be able to do this.

But if you really can’t stop thinking about her, then do this for yourself and redirect your thoughts every time she pops into your head. If you always start thinking of the same thing right after her, you’ll associate that with her. [Read: How to think positive and reprogram your mind to stay positive]

3. Stay busy with friends

The busier you are, the less you’ll have room to think about her. So go out and be with your friends. It’s really easy to want to hide away in your home when you’re bummed out about her being taken, but don’t. This isn’t the time to have a pity party and dwell on your thoughts of her – this just isn’t going to work.

Go out and have a great time. Let them distract you and keep you entertained so your mind can’t picture her anymore. Just like this trick works wonders for a breakup, it’s just as effective to stop thinking about her entirely.

The key here is to constantly stay busy, no matter what you’re doing. [Read: 30 really fun ways to enjoy time with friends]

4. Find someone new to think about

This isn’t necessarily a rebound, but she can be used in a similar way. Just go have fun with someone new. Get on some dating apps or try your luck with some girls while you’re out with friends. The best way to stop thinking about someone is to find someone else.

You never know, you could potentially find someone better than the girl you can’t stop thinking of! Feel free to date around if you really can’t stop thinking about her and want to do something about that. [Read: Rebound relationships and why it’s good for you]

5. Focus on your hobbies and interests

Distractions will serve their purpose in helping you to stop thinking about her, so get busy with your hobbies and interests! When you’re bummed out, you’ll tend to stop doing the stuff you enjoy. You can’t do that. So binge an entire Netflix series, paint a canvas, have an adventure, just get creative.

Don’t let her take away the things that make you happy. We know how much it sucks not to have the girl you want, but you can’t limit yourself to just one person.

Spending time on your interests can help you forget about her, even if just temporarily. [Read: How to feel better with 20 small steps for really big results]

6. Distance yourself from memories of her

Yes, that means if you met her at your favorite place to get drinks, you should avoid it for a while. Just try to stay away from anything that reminds you of her. It’s not forever, but at least until you surpass this phase in your life when you can’t stop thinking about her.

You need to create adequate space from anything that reminds you of her, even the places you used to go to. The fewer reminders you have, the less you’ll think about her. And eventually, you won’t think about her at all anymore.

7. Remember why you can’t have her

It’s not enough just to acknowledge that she’s taken. You have to remember that she’s happy with that person. Even if you can’t stop thinking about her, she’s still enjoying life with someone else. If you like her or even go as far as to say that you love her, be content with the fact that she’s happy with someone else.

And you’d be an awful person for trying to ruin that for her. It’s hard to accept this brutal truth, but you’re going to have to. [Read: 15 ways to handle the pain of wanting someone you can’t have]

8. Make new goals and work toward them

This is really about keeping your mind busy. What better way to occupy your mind than by working toward something you care about?

Your personal development is the best way to keep yourself distracted when you can’t stop thinking about her. [Read: How to succeed in life – All you ever need to know!]

So if you’re serious about not wanting to think of her anymore, then focus on your self-improvement and create new goals. Also, don’t just create goals for the sake of making them, but actually work towards them. They can be anything from fitness and health-related all the way to a project around the house.

9. Talk to your buddies about it

Let your friends talk you out of being obsessed with her. It might be a touchy topic, but just tell them you can’t stop thinking about her and need a little help. They’ll be more than supportive to help you stop thinking about someone that’s already taken.

They can often help keep you distracted or even give you advice if they’ve been through something similar before. So confide in them and see if they can offer some solutions.

Don’t worry, they’ll never judge you for liking someone that’s taken *it happens to even the best of us*. And it’s not really your fault, is it? Love works in mysterious ways! [Read: 15 signs of a bad friend so you can weed out the good ones]

10. Accept that she can’t be yours and move on

Stop thinking that she might be yours when they break up or something along those lines. Those what-if thoughts of yours will prevent you from moving forward entirely. Even if she breaks up with the person she’s with, that doesn’t mean you can go after her right away.

Moving on and accepting your situation is one of the only ways to truly move forward. There are so many great girls out there that aren’t taken – you just need to learn where to look! [Read: Where to meet women? Skip the bar and give these places a try instead]

11. Focus on the facts

When you can’t stop thinking about her, remember the facts on why you want to dismiss the thoughts of her entirely. Remember that she’s taken, that her heart already belongs to someone else, and that you can’t change the situation.

By focusing on the logical aspects of the situation, you’re one step closer to moving on from her.

12. Accept your thoughts and feelings

If you’ve never heard of mindfulness before, it’s about accepting even your negative thoughts and feelings. The more you reject and deny them, they can become stronger. So sometimes, the key to moving on from her thoughts and those feelings is just to accept them and stop fighting them.

The moment you come to terms that those are your thoughts, that you feel something you can’t control for her, you can take the necessary steps forward in dealing with your thoughts. [Read: How to be present – The guide to finding your zone of calm perfection]

13. Write down your thoughts on her

One of the reasons you can’t stop thinking about her is when you don’t have a way to express them. Writing or journaling your thoughts is not just therapeutic but can help reduce those thoughts as well. The minute you see those thoughts on paper, you’ll start to let those thoughts go.

When you keep everything within just your mind, it can begin to feel heavy, and you’ll never be able to release your thoughts of her. Writing them down, no matter how cheesy or irrational your thoughts are, helps you move on from her. [Read: How to get over a girl who doesn’t like without feeling bitter]

14. Give it time

You can’t expect yourself to move on from your thoughts of her overnight. Give yourself time, even if you can’t stop thinking about her.

Eventually, you’ll realize that you aren’t thinking about her much anymore until the day comes where you aren’t thinking about her at all. Time heals everything, and the same goes for your moving on process. [Read: How to get over a heartbreak: The 9 step guide to mend your heart]

15. Forgive

Even if you think you’re not holding a grudge, you could potentially be frustrated at her or yourself. Maybe it’s because she led you on, only for you to find out she was taken.

Or for not knowing any better and still having feelings for her, despite the reality of the situation. Holding a grudge won’t help you if you can’t stop thinking about her, so it’s better to forgive and let go.

[Read: How to forgive yourself & free yourself of the weight of guilt]

So, can’t stop thinking about her?

It’s not a walk in the park to just stop thinking about her, even if she’s already taken.

However, these steps can help distract your thoughts and eventually encourage you to move on from her. Remember, you WILL get over her. You do know this truth deep inside too.

Now, it’s just a matter of following the right steps, to ease the pain and overcome her thoughts at the earliest.

If you can’t stop thinking about her and you know you can’t have her, you just need to move on. It’s easier said than done, we know, but it must be done. Stop holding on to the hope that she’ll be yours as that day probably won’t come.