What to Do if I Like Someone Who is in a Relationship?

Do you like someone who is in a relationship? If you do, then you know how bad it feels. So, what should you do? Here are some tips to cope with it.

Imagine meeting a guy who has almost all the qualities you’re looking for in a partner. He’s easy on the eyes. He’s funny and clever. He’s into almost the same things as you. But there’s a catch…he has a girlfriend. You’re treading into the territory of ‘I like someone who is in a relationship.’

And to top it all off, there’s a slight possibility that he’s into you, too. You get to talking and getting to know each other, and you find yourself slowly falling in love with him.

This twist turns what seemed like a perfect budding romance into a complex situation where your feelings are real, yet the circumstances are less than ideal.

You laugh at yourself for thinking that a catch like him would be single. But then, you also feel a slight twinge of pain in thinking that someone you’re really starting to like is off limits.

What’s a girl to do? [Read: A guy with a girlfriend starts flirting with you… now what?!]

If you find yourself falling for someone who’s already in a relationship, chances are you’ll find it difficult to stay away.

You may tell yourself that you just want to be friends but you might start to wish and hope that he’d leave his girlfriend for you. Not only is that unhealthy but you could potentially end up hurting the person he’s with. [Read: Side chick: 54 signs, reasons you’re not his main & how to walk away ASAP]

The Psychology of Forbidden Love

When it comes to the intriguing topic of forbidden love, many of us find ourselves unexpectedly drawn towards someone who’s already in a relationship. It’s a situation that can be as confusing as it is common. [Read: Unrequited love – 58 signs, types, and steps to get out of unreciprocated love]

You might wonder, why do we sometimes develop feelings for someone who is taken? It’s not just about the thrill of the chase or a fleeting fancy. There are deeper, more nuanced psychological dynamics at play here.

Firstly, there’s this idea of romanticizing the unachievable. It’s like when you know you shouldn’t have that extra slice of cake, but it somehow seems more appealing just because it’s off-limits.

Similarly, when someone is in a relationship, they can appear more desirable simply because they’re unattainable. It’s not so much about the person themselves as it is about the challenge they represent. [Read: Am I in love? 47 fuzzy signs of being in love that’s beyond lust and crushes]

The allure of someone who is taken often lies in the fantasy of what could be, rather than the reality of the situation.

Then, let’s talk about the impact of media and societal narratives. We’re constantly bombarded with stories and movies where the main character falls hopelessly in love with someone who’s already spoken for, and against all odds, they end up together.

These stories sell us the dream that love conquers all, even when it means falling for someone who’s in a relationship. [Read: 21 BIG secrets to get over a crush on someone and feel desirable again!]

This can subconsciously shape our perceptions of love and desire, making us more susceptible to developing feelings for someone who is taken.

How to Deal with Liking Someone Who’s Taken

So, if you want to go the safe route and try to not be as into him as you should, follow these tips.

1. Don’t Be Too Hard on Yourself

It’s okay to like someone who’s taken. You’re not a home wrecker! It’s perfectly fine to admire the qualities of a guy, even if he’s already in a relationship with someone else. [Read: Mixed signals from a guy – 23 signs he’s playing and how to play it cool with him]

However, you have to keep in mind that you can only admire him from a distance. He can’t be yours, or at least he can’t be yours, unless he’s suddenly single.

Just bear in mind that admiring him from afar is very different from squeezing yourself into his life to steal him away.

You have to know that if you try to make him fall in love with you, you might end up ruining his relationship with someone. Do you really want that on your conscience? [Read: Painful realities of being the “other woman”]

2. Double Check if He is Indeed with Someone

Social media can be the bane of someone who’s in love. You may be in each other’s social networks, and that’s how you learned to fall head over heels for this guy. If you see photos of him getting cozy with someone, try to do a little more research.

Who knows, those photos might be from eons ago! He might only look like he’s taking pictures with his girlfriend, but they’re just pictures of him and a close female friend.

In addition to this, if you found out that he’s taken only through hearsay, find out for sure. [Read: How to stalk someone on social media and find just what you’re looking for]

It may appear like you’re a little too eager to find out, but it’s better than giving up on someone simply because you THOUGHT he was taken!

3. In Proving That He is Indeed Taken, Keep His Girlfriend in Your Mind

Whenever you have the urge to flirt with the guy, try to picture his lady. Put yourself in her shoes for a while. If you were in her position, would you like it if there was another woman blatantly trying to flirt with your guy? We think not.

Thinking of her helps keep you in check. You wouldn’t want to make an enemy of someone you barely know. [Read: How to show empathy and learn to understand someone else’s feelings]

Remember that there’s a reason they’re together. You wouldn’t want to be the reason they’re torn apart, would you?

4. Try to Put Some Distance Between You and the Guy

This may be the hardest thing you’ll have to do. You may really enjoy his company, but staying in it will make you see just what you’re missing. It might make you do something completely crazy, like suddenly kissing him when no one’s looking!

If you’re in the same social circle, try to avoid being too close to him. Have someone else sit between the two of you. [Read: Steps & must-knows to fall out of love when you see no happy future]

If you work in the same office, try to limit your interaction to professional matters only. If you have to, you can even unfollow him on social media, just so you can stop picturing him in your mind.

5. Do Not Act on Your Feelings

While it’s natural to have feelings for someone, acting on them, especially when they’re in a relationship, is a no-go zone. It’s crucial not to attempt breaking them up or consider being a side chick.

You are worth so much more than that. Engaging in such actions not only hurts others but also compromises your self-respect and dignity. [Read: Side chick – 54 signs, reasons you’re not his main and how to walk away ASAP]

Remember, true love doesn’t require you to compromise your values or integrity.

6. Do What You Can to Fall Out of Love with the Guy

Consciously falling out of love with someone isn’t as easy as falling in love. You genuinely have to put in an effort to convince yourself that you shouldn’t be in love with him.

7. Eliminate All Contact

We mentioned that you should keep your distance, but eliminating all contact takes it a step further. It means disappearing from his radar altogether. [Read: No contact rule – what it is, 29 secrets to use it, and why it works so well]

This is easy if you don’t see each other on a regular basis. All it would take is deleting him from your phone and social media sites.

If you do see each other regularly, try to do everything you can to avoid seeing him. This includes not talking to him, hanging out with other people or taking a different route around the office to avoid passing by his desk.

8. Channel Your Feelings onto Something Else

Get distracted and reroute your passion for him onto something else. [Read: Ways Volunteer work can help heal depression]

It can be anything from arts to sports to work. Try to push him out of your mind by getting involved in something that will keep you occupied, until your attraction for him wanes.

9. Find a Rebound

Though it’s not the best solution, it can be the quickest one. Go out there and be on the prowl for someone who’s single and interested in you too.

It may feel like you’re using another person to get over someone, but a rebound attraction also has the potential to turn into a genuine attraction. Who knows! [Read: Why a rebound can sometimes be good for you]

10. Think of What You Don’t Like About the Guy

We know it sounds harsh, but try to nitpick at his faults and keep them in mind. He might not have a great sense of style. His fingernails might be dirty sometimes.

He might not be as interested in Game of Thrones as much as you are. Whatever it is that has the potential to irk you about him, keep it in mind and use it to get rid of your attraction. [Read: How to fall out of love by hating them]

11. Reflect on Your Own Needs and Desires

Sometimes, when we say “I like someone who is in a relationship,” it’s not just about them, but about us. Take time to reflect on what you’re truly seeking in a relationship.

Ask yourself, are you yearning for companionship, excitement, or maybe you’re drawn to something you perceive as lacking in your life?

Understanding your own needs can help shift your focus from someone who’s taken to finding happiness in your own life. [Read: 25 Honest, self-reflection questions to recognize the real YOU inside]

12. Seek Support from Friends

There’s nothing like a good chat with friends to gain perspective. Tell them, “I like someone who’s taken,” and let them offer their views.

Friends can provide support, make you laugh, and remind you of your worth. They can also help keep you distracted and grounded, ensuring you don’t lose sight of your own life while pining for someone who’s unavailable.

13. Explore New Interests or Hobbies

Diving into new activities is a great way to redirect your energy. Whether it’s painting, hiking, coding, or cooking, immersing yourself in a new interest can be incredibly fulfilling. [Read: The 15 best books to read after a breakup and begin your healing]

Not only does it take your mind off the fact that you like someone who is in a relationship, but it also helps in personal growth and meeting new people.

And who knows, in the midst of exploring these new hobbies, you just might meet someone who’s not only single but shares your passions and interests.

14. Focus on Self-Improvement

Use this time as an opportunity for self-improvement. Perhaps there’s a skill you’ve always wanted to learn or a fitness goal you’ve been aiming for. [Read: 25 Self-improvement secrets to improve yourself and transform into your best self]

Working on yourself is not just a distraction from your feelings for someone who’s taken, it’s a productive way to enhance your self-esteem and make you feel good about where you’re heading in life.

15. Journal Your Feelings

Writing down your thoughts can be incredibly therapeutic. It helps in processing your emotions about liking someone who is in a relationship.

You might start to see patterns in your feelings or gain new insights into what you truly want in a partner. Journaling is a private space where you can be completely honest with yourself. [Read: 57 Simple life questions to get to know yourself and truths to visualize your future]

16. Consider Professional Guidance

Sometimes, talking to a therapist or counselor can provide clarity and strategies to cope with your feelings.

They can offer unbiased advice and help you understand why you might be attracted to someone who’s taken. This can be a step towards emotional growth and learning how to navigate complex feelings in a healthier way.

Focusing on helping others can shift your perspective and bring a lot of joy. [Read: How to develop empathy and master the art of growing a real heart]

When you’re involved in volunteer work, the satisfaction of contributing to something meaningful can lessen the preoccupation with your personal situation of liking someone who’s in a relationship.

18. Limit Social Media Stalking

It’s tempting to check out their social media profiles, but this often makes things worse.

Constantly scrolling through their pictures or updates, especially those with their significant other, can intensify feelings of longing and frustration. [Read: The toxic dangers of social media and 19 signs and ways it makes you insecure]

Obsessing over every post with his girl isn’t just unhealthy; it keeps you anchored in a situation you’re trying to move past.

19. Create a Positive Affirmation Routine

Start your day with positive affirmations. Remind yourself of your worth and your goals. This practice can help shift your mindset from a focus on “I like someone who’s taken” to “I am worthy of someone who is available and right for me.”

Positive affirmations can boost your confidence and help redirect your emotional energy. [Read: 45 Secrets to be more positive and fill your mind with positive emotions 24/7]

20. If They Break Up, Think Your Actions Through Carefully

First of all, you have to give the guy some time to recover from the breakup. You never know if this is a spur of the moment thing, where they’ll reconcile after a few days.

During these times, he’d be very vulnerable, but you probably wouldn’t want to be the woman who snatches up a guy while he’s still reeling from a broken heart.

Second, show some compassion, but not affection. Be a friend to him by listening to what he has to say. [Read: Body language signs he’s into you]

He might open up to you, so it’s best to be a shoulder he can cry on. Just be there to make sure he’s okay. However, whatever you do, do not try to seduce him in his vulnerable state!

There’s a huge difference between being the girl with a crush on someone’s boyfriend and being the girl who snatches up the men in a relationship.

The first one is perfectly fine. The second one has a really bad stigma that you will carry with you for as long as you’re with the guy. [Read: 29 Healing steps to get over someone you never dated but loved deeply]

There’s a Whole Sea of Single, Awesome People Out There

Alright, girl, let’s be real – finding yourself crushing on someone who’s already in a relationship is no walk in the park.

It’s like being hungry in a candy store but you’re on a diet – tempting, frustrating, but hey, not the end of the world. Heads up, you’re an amazing catch, and there’s a whole sea of single, awesome people out there just waiting to meet someone like you.

[Read: How long does a crush last? The steps to get over someone ASAP]

You’ve got this! Just because you’re in a spot where you find yourself saying, ‘I like someone who is in a relationship,’ doesn’t mean your own love story isn’t on the horizon. It’s out there, so keep that chin up and stay true to yourself!