What Is A MILF? The Surprising Truths & Thoughts Behind Its Meaning

‘MILF’ is code for Mother I’d Like To Fuck. But there’s really much, much more to it. Here’s a unique take on what is a MILF exactly.

If you’re a dude you’ve probably used this term more times than you care to admit. Walking down the street with your boy, you see an unusually attractive older lady and you’re like, ‘Bro, check out that MILF.’ But if you’re wondering, what is a MILF, it’s time to educate yourself.

What is a MILF?

It’s just one of those words we like to say. It rolls off the tongue like sweet honey… Sometimes we say it for humor. Other times the word MILF is just… definitive. The truth. There’s even a male equivalent—‘DILF’, which is code for Dad I’d Like To Fuck.

Primarily, being a MILF/DILF means you’re older but still look remarkably attractive. MILF is sort of similar to the term cougar, which is a woman who is independent, older, and likes her meat younger.

But MILF/DILF are different in that those terms suggest you have parenting responsibilities. Which could also suggest you’re in a committed relationship… [Read: How to make an older woman fall in love with you]

Which is why the term MILF feels kind of taboo

Let’s take it back…

#1 ‘You low-down Mother Fuckers.’

– US soldier to his draft board, 1911

#2 ‘You see this cat, Shaft is a bad mother

(Shut your mouth)

But I’m talking about Shaft

(Then we can dig it)’

– Isaac Hayes in his song ‘Shaft’, 1971

Another controversial term: ‘Mother fucker’ was used as early as the late 19^th century. But throughout the years, mother fucker was softened into minced oaths such as:

– Motherfugger

– Mother for you

– MOFO

The cool thing about this word is that you can’t say it, and even when you do you’re expected to make it cryptic. Unless you really don’t give a fuck and want to make your feelings clear… *‘Mother fucker, I dare ya! NO, I double dare ya!’*.

The funny thing is most people don’t think about ‘mother fucker’ in terms of actually having sex with a mother. Counter-intuitively, they associate it with awesomeness OR sometimes with offensiveness. [Read: What’s in it for the older woman dating the younger man?]

‘That movie was mother fucking amazing.’

Or

‘Yeah, well, fuck you, you dumb mother fucker.’

THEN the internet hit and these things happened…

– Lots and lots of porn

– Lots of sexualized material on TV/movies/media

– Even more sex on social media, which popularized acronyms for sex like: mofo, ons, dtf, bdsm, bbw…

– Lots of new dating sites/apps that made dating/sex a whole different ballgame

– Everything became a candidate for ‘LOL cool’, e.g. Stiffler’s mum in American Pie

This is why I think the word MILF is sort of an evolution of the phrase mother fucker. However, it’s also a very unique and ultra-modern word. Let’s take a deeper dive into its meaning…

#1 Milf is short-code. People need short codes to speedily distinguish between categories of things in the world. MILF generally makes it clear that the mentioned person is an older woman.

If I’m with a buddy on a crowded street and want to let them know about an older lady with a gorgeous look, I’ll say, ‘MILF dead ahead, 8 out of 10.’ He knows to skip over the faces under 30 and search for the hot 35+ year old. It’s simply a matter of critical timing. [Read: You guide to scoring yourself a MILF]

#2 A MILF is the wet dream. Teenagers going through puberty may be unable to attract or connect with girls their own age. For example, an adolescent who spends too much time watching porn and doesn’t have good social skills…

Due to his inexperience, he might naturally be drawn to a more maternal, nurturing figure—thinking she will mother him up unconditionally and acceptingly.

#3 A MILF is emotionally developed. Maybe you’re bored of club life and people with stringy attention spans. You want more depth. You can find depth in young people, but many higher order character traits take a lifetime to build. And it’s a never-ending journey. So, some people will consider a person to be a MILF if they meet the emotional connection criteria.

#4 A MILF is very cute or hot. There’s a somewhat universal attractiveness level spectrum, whether or not we like to admit it. In other words, people can generally agree on whether someone looks attractive or not and roughly what level of attractive they look, even if they’re not specifically ‘their type.’

This might sound controversial, but if you’re honest with yourself you may agree *ever heard the phrase ‘she’s out of his league’?*.

Things like facial details symmetry and body shape all factor in. And with that said, some people age better than others and stay looking attractive for longer. Which means that they stay looking remarkably attractive for longer. Note that the word GILF *for grandmother* isn’t popular, because there’s less chances a woman will stay looking hot at that stage of her life *although there are many exceptions*. [Read: The 30 traits of hot women that men love]

#5 The MILF is a new kind of woman. Women had massive inequality pre-world wars. Post-world wars, they slowly gained more rights. Today they’re more on an equal footing with men societally than they have been in any other time. In some arenas, such as within education, they outperform guys. It’s no longer a given that a woman’s role in society is to get married and to have children by a particular age.

Customs are unclear—more open-ended. Women have more independence and make their own sexual decisions with less social repercussions. Words like MILF pop into existence in times like this. People aren’t so sure that an older lady is probably someone else’s wife or that she won’t be DTF. [Read: The meaning of DTF and signs she’s feeling it]

#6 The MILF is straight to the point. Being messed around by a 22-year-old Colombian chick who doesn’t know whether she’s coming or going? One of the appeals of MILFs is that they don’t play games with you.

It’s a popular belief that if a MILF doesn’t feel you she won’t take your info or reply to your messages. But if she is into you she really means to follow through and may even initiate things, because she’s confident enough in her own skin and knows what she wants *she probably also works out if you’re the real deal faster*. [Read: The pros and cons of dating a woman in control]

#7 A MILF might not be a mother. I’ve never been walking with a friend and we see a hot older lady and my friend says: ‘That is either a hot MILF or a hot cougar.’ He probably doesn’t care if she’s mothered offspring. What’s important is that she looks like she could mother offspring.

We’re usually attracted to people that look capable of passing on genes to create healthy offspring. When we notice curvaceous hips or a buxom chest, this is us looking out for signs of genetic health. The hips don’t lie.

#8 The 20-year-old MILF? Of course, a woman in her 20s could be a MILF. But you often hear ‘baby mother’ used more in that situation. A MILF is a bit more like a fine wine… something that takes a given amount of time to develop properly.

Though I saw a girl who was 22 and had a toddler. It was the first time I’d dated a mother, and I definitely used MILF more than a few times.

#9 The 30-35 MILF. A popular MILF imagery is the ‘dirty 30s’ MILF who is sexually ravenous or a recently divorced single mum. She’s rediscovering who she is and is going yolo. She may be dating several guys at the same time and looking for completely no strings attached sex. [Read: 17 important guidelines for NSA sex]

#10 The conqueror’s trophy MILF. To get with one, you may need to be direct. You should also know what you want. She’s seen too much in her time to be won over by timidity. To add to this, she’s not a commonly ‘available’ demography. Think about it this way: the market tends to value things based on supply and demand. So, if something is in high demand, but seems to be in relatively short supply, it’s going to increase in value.

There are simply fewer older and hot women still dating compared to younger women. So, this literally makes MILFs a hot product. And hunters of MILFs get a sense of self-validation from knowing they won something difficult to get. It’s competition.

Say you’re 20, and a MILF you come across is 45. Chances are it’s less socially acceptable for her to get with you. There’s more in your way in terms of natural social obstacles. So, if you proceed to get her despite this, it says something about your tenacity and abilities.

#11 A MILF can have dirty affairs. I think being a parent tends to make you mature sooner, both emotionally and spiritually, whatever your age. This is because of the higher amount responsibility you bear. When a MILF does anything she does it properly. That means a sweeping, mature, lusty affair. By comparison, a ‘baby mother’ is more likely to bring drama and angry ex-lovers who carry guns. This is simply because younger people generally have less life experience than older folk.

By the time you’re in your 30s you’ll have more perspective on some of life’s absurdities. So, a MILF is more likely to have emotional control and able to keep a dirty secret. [Read: 15 dirty ways to have the sexiest rough sex ever]

#12 A MILF understands sex and sexuality. Think of a hot 20-year-old girl… It’s not hard to get the feeling that her body as it is just popped into existence one day and she woke up with an uber-slim waste line and a perky bubble butt. She didn’t go to the gym for it. She might even have a diet of cigarettes and Coca-Cola.

The same thing is likely to be the case with that girl’s sense of her own sexuality. She’s not matured fully yet. She doesn’t yet know what she likes and enjoys, or what she really appreciates in a partner.

A MILF’s sexuality is practiced. It’s deep, subtle, knowing. She truly appreciates sexuality to a level that shocks you. A MILF may dress modestly and show her sexuality in subtle ways. Her sexuality may seem to emanate from her sleekly and stylishly. However, when you make a moment of intense eye contact with a MILF, there’s a knowingness there.

Don’t get me wrong, people can be impulsive and naïve whatever their age, but wisdom and skills generally tend to form with time.

[Read: Cougar dating: 10 rules to dating an older woman]

Hunters like to explore. They know that variety is the spice of life. Understanding what is a MILF and the slightly taboo off-limits temptation can only be addressed in a socially acceptable way through code.