What Does Sex Mean to a Woman: What She Feels & Wants While Having It

Most men wonder what sex means to a woman, especially if they want to be better in bed. Sex can mean something different for women, so read on to understand women more for a better love life.

Most men are ready to jump into bed at the drop of a hat. However, some women aren’t quite the same. So, if you are the type of guy who holds no reservations when it comes to getting intimate, you need to know what sex means to a woman.

An emotional connection, trust, and friendship are absolutely essential for any meaningful and lasting relationship. But what is the one thing that can form a loyal bond to any one person more than friendship?

Sex.

Sex is an extremely important physical and emotional element of any romantic relationship. How a person understands and relates to sex varies from person to person. Everyone has their own experience and value of sex, and views of what it represents in a relationship. Thus, sex has the ability to greatly impact a couple’s relationship based on the meanings each person places on sex.

While these meanings definitely vary from person to person, there are a few common things that sex represents for a woman in a relationship. [Read: 25 things that turn a woman on sexually and otherwise]

What sex can mean for a woman in a relationship

It’s probably no secret that sex is primarily a physiological desire and drive for a man. But it’s more than that for a woman. For some women, just knowing that they are desirable turns them on.

Some of the most common meanings that sex can signify for a woman in a relationship are love, attraction, and passion. It can also represent a deep trust and connection, or fun and pleasure.

Here are some things that you need to know about what sex means to a woman. [Read: Why do we STILL silently and unfairly judge women who love sex?]

1. Sex begins in her mind

For men, sex begins with the eyes. He sees an attractive woman and instantly wants to have sex with her. But for women, it’s not the same. Sure, she can see a good-looking man and find him attractive. But that doesn’t mean that her next thought is of what he would be like in bed.

Instead, sex begins in a woman’s mind. Men might be disappointed that she doesn’t feel the physical lust as much as he does. But she has very different hormones. Testosterone causes physical desires in both sexes, but men and women have different amounts of it.

For a woman, fantasizing, remembering, and imagining hot sex makes her aroused. So, when she is infatuated or falling in love, she constantly thinks about her partner. It’s then that her sexual appetite is high and arousal is pretty easy. [Read: How to use sexy talk on your lover and make them melt with desire]

2. Sex is contextual

For women, feeling sexual desire is a form of vulnerability. If they are feeling sexual desire towards a partner they love and trust, those feelings of lust and love are tightly wound together. So, she will only feel safe to express her desire if her feelings aren’t at risk of being hurt.

Women want their lover to touch them and bring pleasure to them in a sensually seductive way. If a relationship is going through a rough patch, she can withdraw her desire in order to protect her heart and emotions. Men don’t tend to do that; they are mostly driven by biology.

She needs to feel emotionally safe before sex can occur. Romance and seduction are ways that both men and women can create a context for sex that helps her decompress from her daily activities and to-do lists. This makes her feel vulnerable, placing her feelings on the table.

3. Sex is a part of love

Sex shows a woman that you love her. When you take your time working your way around every nook that makes her shiver, kissing all her favorite spots, and fully satisfying her, there is no better way for you to show her you love and care for her. [Read: 18 sex tips for men to make your woman crave for more!]

Making love flows from the warmth a woman feels in a relationship. But it’s not the source of her sexual desire. Sex, talking, working together, having a family, spending time together, feeling appreciated, and displays of affection are just some things that she needs within the context of sex.

So, this is a way a woman gives love. This doesn’t mean that women are obligated to provide her partner sex when she’s not in the mood. However, she might know that her partner wants sex, and even though she’s not feeling it, she might still want to have sex to meet his needs because she loves him. 

If a relationship is loving, then the fact that she offers her partner sex can be a gift of love for her. But if her partner keeps pestering her when she’s not in the mood, it turns her off. That’s because it cheapens her motive of love. [Read: What women want in bed to feel sexy and loved]

Because she often feels desire after sexual arousal, she is usually happy that she makes love even if she wasn’t in the mood in the beginning. Some women find a lot of satisfaction during sex, even if she doesn’t orgasm. If she’s not in the mood, then she usually does as she gets going.

Men and women both need to feel attached to their partners in order to be happy, but they start in different places. Emotional intimacy and sexual intimacy are the combinations that create a passionate relationship for a woman.

4. Sex shows a woman you are attracted to her

Simply knowing that she is desirable is enough to give her an orgasm. Okay, that’s an exaggeration, but it’s somewhat close to the truth.

While seeing an attractive man might cause small excitement in a woman, it’s more the thought of his reaction to her that makes her interested. She thinks things like, “I wonder if he thinks I’m pretty.” [Read: Signs of strong physical attraction that reveal a mad attraction]

Knowing that her partner is hot for her ignites her imagination and sexy thoughts in her head. And while men desire to have a lot of sex in a relationship, women want to have the romance continue, and a lot of women can’t separate sex and romance.

This is something that men can’t do. Sex is sex to them. Romance is romance. They don’t have to go together. But for a woman, they do.

Having regular sex in a relationship shows a woman that she’s attractive and that you think she is sexy and desirable.

Most of the time, a partner’s choice not to have sex stems from deeper-rooted issues. But it doesn’t matter; if you aren’t having regular sex with your lady, she is most likely feeling like the most unattractive woman alive.

So, when we tell you there is nothing that makes a woman doubt herself (body-wise) more than being sexually rejected by a partner, we’re not kidding. [Read: 15 ways to satisfy a woman in bed and make sex really exciting for her]

5. Sex is passion

On the other hand, when a woman’s boyfriend comes home from work and cannot keep his hands or mouth off her and makes it extremely clear he wants to be inside her as soon as possible, she will feel like the sexiest person alive.

Sex is passion, and it makes a woman feel loved and beautiful if you want her as much as she wants you in your relationship.

6. Sex is a trusted connection between two people

The difference between a one-night stand and sex in a relationship is that you share a deep connection with your partner *something you don’t usually find after a heavy night of drinking*.

And because of such a connection, sex is something that must be shared between both partners, not taken from either one. [Read: How to open up about sex and get your partner to share their desires]

Let me explain myself a little further with my own anecdote. During my relationship with my first love, who I was mad at the time and felt an extremely real bond with, we ran into a problem.

We both wanted to have sex – a lot. That was fine with me until about two years into our relationship, when I started having some mildly serious health problems. It wasn’t an STI, but it still caused major pain during sex and left me feeling no pleasure at all.

Yet, while I clearly communicated this to my boyfriend, we continued to have sex. It wasn’t like he was forcibly making me have sex, but it still didn’t feel right. I lost my connection to the sex and to him.

It felt like he was taking sex and that it wasn’t something we were sharing anymore. I didn’t feel our bond while we were having sex.

I never quite got over his claim of taking sex from me, and we eventually went our separate ways.

The relationship left me with a very real meaning of sex in a relationship – it must be part of a trusted connection to another person. [Read: 22 common reasons why women fake an orgasm in bed]

7. Sex is fun and pleasure

Of course, sex means fun and pleasure for women in a relationship.

Sex is not a chore to women. The age-old myth that women don’t like sex as much as men is complete rubbish.

Many women are extremely sexual beings that love to have fun and feel the immense gratification that comes along with amazing sex.

Fun can mean a boatload of different things and to each their own. But fun is definitely trying sex in all different positions, places, and perhaps with different personas. Whatever your lady’s preference may be, she definitely wants to have fun with sex! [Read: Sexiest foreplay tips you can ever use in bed]

Pleasure is self-explanatory really. Sex for women in a relationship means pleasure. That can range from full-out multiple O’s or just an awesome romp that leaves a lady feeling good and giddy.

You should find out what exactly creates the most enjoyable and pleasing sex for your lady, and make it happen, over and over!

8. Overall, sex is many things

Most women do love sex, but their desire for it can be easily derailed. They might be tired or feel angry toward their partner. Physical problems can affect their libido. Everyday distractions such as children, work, laundry, cooking, and other mundane activities can also inhibit her desire. 

Women often start having sex by being willing to do so. But they might not want or crave sex until they are aroused. And for a lot of women, achieving an orgasm is not easy. Some women might like more routine in the bedroom than men, who prefer more variety.

So, sex does not mean just one thing to a woman in a relationship. It can mean many things, maybe even more than I have mentioned here.

But from my own experience and from chats with many women, sex comes down to representing three main things – love, connection, and pleasure!

Sex does mean different things to different people, but these values are the most basic that most women find sex to mean in a relationship. [Read: 15 things you can do to excite a girl’s mind sexually]

Men and women can approach sex in a different way

A lot of guys don’t understand a woman’s point of view comes to sex. Sure, both women and men love to have sex. But they approach it from two very different angles.

If you’re frustrated with your girlfriend or wife because she doesn’t approach sex the way you do, hopefully now you know why.

As they say, understanding is the key to happiness. Once you know what goes on inside her head, you can make sex a lot more pleasurable for her.

[Read: How to be good at sex – 32 sex secrets that make you the hottest lay]

Now you know what sex means to a woman, have sex that is loving and passionate. Show your partner you are completely obsessed with their body and can barely resist them. Share sex through a trusted connection with your partner, and of course, focus on satisfying your partner and yourself. Enjoy!