What Does Anal Sex Feel Like Both Physically and Mentally?

Anal sex is practiced far more than you might think, yet it still remains taboo. Maybe you’re wondering what does anal sex feel like? Let’s find out!

Anal sex is one of those things that people don’t tend to talk about openly. It’s got that “keep it quiet” tag to it and as a result, it’s considered pretty taboo, even in today’s society. We’re far more open than we’ve ever been before, yet the subject of backdoor sex is often discussed in hushed tones. For that reason, many people want to know what does anal sex feel like?

You’re curious maybe. Whatever the reason for you wanting to know what anal sex actually feels like, know that it’s far more commonly practiced than you might think.

We might not talk about it, but many of us do it. Some people enjoy it, others don’t.

Of course, it’s wrong to do something that isn’t pleasurable to you, just because you want to please your partner, but it’s a common reason for many.

[Read: 10 surprising benefits of anal sex you had no idea about!]

Why is anal sex such a taboo subject?

If it’s a common thing, why is it so taboo? Because if you read biology books, it’s not how you’re “supposed” to have sex.

If you read the old-fashioned textbooks then you’ll quickly see that they preach about penetration by the penis into the vagina.

But, things have changed. You might adore vaginal sex but want to try something a little bit different. You might be in a relationship with another guy and be curious about how sex between you is going to feel. There are countless reasons why people want to have anal sex.

All their reasons are personal to them and perfectly acceptable.

So, why do we still whisper about it? [Read: Why do guys like anal sex and should you give the back door a try?]

Well, it’s supposed to be a one-way street, isn’t it? Nothing is supposed to go in there, but things are supposed to come out. Graphic, we know. However, anal sex, when done carefully, slowly, and with preparation, can be quite pleasurable.

For sure, it may be painful for the person receiving it but there are also many people who actually enjoy it too. It’s a very personal deal and preference that some enjoy.

With all of that in mind, perhaps we should get rid of the taboo and just accept that it’s a part of sex in today’s society?

What does anal sex feel like physically?

When you have anal sex, the sensation is intense. Similar to the feeling of passing a bowel movement after being constipated, it is not a pleasurable feeling at first, at least not for most.

The first time is always the most overwhelming. But, you may find that with time you start to enjoy it. Of course, that doesn’t mean you should tolerate it if you really don’t like the feeling.

As the penis is penetrating the anal wall, it can take your breath away, and if you don’t relax and breathe your way through it, it can be too much. Once the penis is fully inside the anal cavity, the pressure seems to ease up and so does the overwhelming nature of it. If you can get past the anal opening, everything seems to become reasonable. [Read: How to prepare for anal sex – A beginner’s fantasy guidebook]

Anal sex is perplexing to your body. At the same time that you might be feeling discomfort, there can be an odd excitement and pleasure that is unmistakable.

For a woman having anal sex, pressing up against the clitoris from the inside out, if done with patience and care, can create an intense orgasm.

For a guy, anal sex can stimulate the prostate and give a seriously mindblowing orgasm too. So, there is potential for major feel-good factor.

If you can get to the point of orgasm, then it’s a feeling that you can’t ever get from any other sexual position. 

[Read: First-time anal sex and the curious bum lover’s guide to every single step of the way]

How does anal sex feel mentally?

Perhaps more disturbing than the physical feeling of anal sex is the perplexing mental nature of it. It can be confusing to a woman why a man might want to have anal sex over vaginal sex.

Feeling so much more raw, unemotional, and hurtful, anal sex can produce some negative mentalities for women. Making it more difficult for a woman to come to terms with are the images that most people see of anal sex.

If you see anal sex in porn, it seems so degrading. Women appear to be doing things that are purely for the pleasure of the man. Often going from one hole to another, which is a no-no for health reasons, and then sometimes even into the mouth. There appears to be nothing loving or caring about it. [Read: The risks and dangers of anal sex and what to watch out for]

When a man wants to have anal sex with a woman, it feels as if he not only wants to violate her but that he is also okay with hurting her. Fraught with anxiety and fear, anal sex is rarely something that a woman dreams of doing.

But that situation often occurs when there is no communication between a couple. If you can sit down and talk about it, you may be able to move slowly and enjoy the experience, free from any negativity or violation. [Read: Do women like anal sex? Mostly no, sometimes yes, and what else to know]

For a guy enjoying anal sex for the first time, the experience can be equally as confusing. It’s vital to be ready for this huge step in your relationship.

A guy is told throughout his life that he should be the one doing the penetrating, so when it’s the other way around, the mental side of it can be tough to understand. Again, communication is key and moving slowly throughout.

How can you make anal sex a positive part of your relationship?

If you really want to try anal sex with your partner, it’s not something that you are going to want to try without preparation.

The key is going to be being prepared both physically and mentally. That means fully discussing why you want to do it. It also means communicating throughout, and what needs to be done to make it more pleasurable.

When rushed, anal sex can be dangerous. It’s not just a matter of being careful for emotional reasons, but for physical ones, too.

A bad anal experience is not only one that can result in damage to your body, but it can do severe damage to any relationship. If you want anal sex to go smoothly *literally*, it’s best to adhere to the following rules. [Read: How to enjoy anal sex – Backdoor secrets to a pain-free experience]

1. Use lots of lube

The anus was not created for sex, so it will not self-lubricate like the vagina.

If you are going to have anal sex, it is going to require a lot of lube. If you don’t use enough lube, then it’s common to experience tears in the anal tissue or even an anal fissure, which can be very painful. Make sure that you use a water-based or silicone lube with condoms every single time. [Read: How to use lubricants to liven up your sex life instantly]

2. Move slowly and getntly

The first time you try anal sex, it may be very intense and probably overwhelming.

It’s important to go slowly. When we say slow, we mean slow – inch by inch. Allowing your partner to adjust with every new move will ensure that they won’t get hurt and that it will be more comfortable for them.

3. Communicate at all times

It’s very important that you can communicate. If it hurts, your partner needs to know that even though they said yes, they’re always able to put a stop to it at any point.

You need to communicate that it’s all right for either partner to say when enough is enough. Both parties need to feel comfortable and on board throughout the entire experience. [Read: Are you having painful anal sex? 12 mistakes you’re probably making in the first few minutes]

4. Start with toys first

There are a ton of sexual toys on the market that can help to desensitize the anal area. This means your partner will be more comfortable when you actually have anal sex.

Invest in some anal sex toys, specifically ones designed for first anal experimentation. [Read: 13 must-have couple’s sex toys for naughty first-timers]

5. Don’t think the first time is going to go smoothly

Just like any new experience, it’s best to assume that your first experience is not going to go perfectly. It takes many tries to get anal sex right.

The first time may be too uncomfortable to get past the penetration. Just be open to giving it time and being patient. If it isn’t for you, that’s okay, too. [Read: 12 anal sex positions that make backdoor sex feel so darn good]

6. Don’t expect it to be like porn

No matter what you see in porn, anal sex is not something that you just jump into. It’s one of the most intimate experiences you can have with your significant other. Arguably, it is the most vulnerable you can be with someone. So it’s important to be open and honest about the subject.

Porn is not the most realistic thing to compare anything sex-related to. Also, in most porn movies, anal isn’t done with much respect or care. So, forget what you’ve seen and focus on the experience you’re having.

What does anal sex feel like? Everyone is different

When trying to work out what anal sex feels like, you have to remember that everyone is different. Some people might not feel much discomfort at all. Others might find it intolerable. Some may need a little time to experiment first before they decide what they think. [Read: Dating kinky girls – How to go from vanilla to sexy spice with her]

For sure, anal sex is overwhelming. It affects all of the senses, simply because of the gravity of what you’re doing. And that’s why it’s important to listen to your partner every step of the way.

Go slowly and make sure that you’re both fully prepared.

With preparation and care, you may find that it’s something you both enjoy. Or, maybe you try it once and decide that it’s not for you. Either way, it’s an experience you’ve had. 

[Read: How to eat ass – The rimming checklist to eat booty like a boss]

Anal sex isn’t for everyone, although some couples swear by it. You may just find that it’s something that will tie your hearts together forever, will heighten your sex life, or that it simply isn’t for you. No matter what, just be sure the two of you are in it together.