What Does a Third Date Mean For Guys? A Guide to Read His Mind

Come on guys, we’re confused, let us know for real – what does a third date mean for guys? Is it going somewhere or are you after one thing only? 

Dating is weird. It’s so confusing! I mean, really, what does a third date mean for guys?!

I actually detest dating. I’m sorry if you’re someone who loves the process and finds it exciting and full of heightened emotion, but I’ve never been a fan of emotion myself. You see, I’m quite empathic, so the heady early stages of a relationship simply sets my nerves on edge.

No, I would much rather fast forward to the comfortable, predictable stage, when you’re done panicking about text messages and trying to interpret what a smiling face reply means – is it a good thing? Do they have nothing else to say? What’s going on?

It’s quite literally exhausting, but it’s something you have to go through if you want to have a long-lasting relationship.

[Read: The early stages of dating and how to navigate the dos and don’ts]

I suppose that dating is about getting to know another person and trying to figure out whether they’re the one you want to spend the rest of your days with, and the person you want to allow to see you at your worst, e.g. with morning breath and hair sticking up at every angle.

However, there are a myriad of rules and confusions which take place between meeting someone and getting to the comfortable part of the deal. One of them is what does this date mean, what does that date mean, which stage are we at?

See what I mean about confusing? [Read: 8 most common texting mistakes new couples make most often]

The stages of dating

You meet, you talk a little, you flirt, you go out on a first date, and it’s great. You’re terrified of course, but it’s great. Hopefully you get along well and you manage to not make a total fool of yourself, so it progresses to date number two.

Date number one is pretty easy to figure out; you’re trying to make a good impression on each other, so you really can’t totally trust what’s being said or shown at that stage. Sorry I realize that sounds a little negative, but I’ve been there and trust me, I’ve met guys who were more desirable than Brad Pitt on the first date and then ended up more like Lex Luther by date number four. [Read: 13 warning signs to look out for in the first few dates]

You have to keep your mind open and avoid making rash declarations of love in your own mind.

So, date number two. This is where it starts to get a little worrying. There is debate about whether you should sleep together on the first date, and whilst it’s more than fine if you do *many of us have at some stage*, it’s usually better to wait and figure out what’s going on.

Date number two is still too soon in my eyes, but hey if you’re keen and eager, go for it. So in this case, the second date is about becoming a little more familiar, perhaps making in jokes and laughing more than the first date. In any ways, it’s like feeling your way into whether this is actually going somewhere, because you’re not on your best behavior like you were on the first date.

And that brings us to date number three. This is where it gets super-confusing. [Read: Decoding what a third date means after date one and two]

What does a third date mean for guys?

I think it mean something totally different for a girl. It does for me anyway.

I think that girls see this as a sign that things are going somewhere. Three dates means that you didn’t totally mess it up on the first date and that they’ve liked you enough to keep having conversations on text and meeting up with you for in-person chats. That’s a good sign, right? It is in my eyes however.

Are we about to fall in love and have cute babies? Not quite yet, but I do think that this is moving more towards the ‘seeing each other’ phase, rather than ‘met each other for a drink a couple of times’.

What about guys? [Read: How men fall in love – Understanding the 7 stages of love for a guy]

What does a third date mean for guys?

I was very interested in this question so I quizzed a few of my guy friends. It turns out that guys do not see this as moving towards ‘seeing each other’ territory generally and simply see it as an extension of the getting to know you phase.

It also means that sex is quite possibly on the table apparently.

Now, I don’t want to generalize. Of course all guys aren’t the same, and some guys might find that date number three means you’re practically loved up. It totally depends on the person, but overall, what does a third date mean for guys? It means you’re just meeting up. It doesn’t mean you’re in a relationship, it doesn’t mean he’s even thinking about it at this point, he’s simply spending time with you and it could end up with both of you naked quite soon. [Read: The third date rule and why everyone needs to know this]

One of my male friends went as far as to suggest that most guys think with their downstairs parts until at least date number seven. Number seven?! He seemed to think that guys don’t consider themselves to be in relationships until dates are in double figures.

Now I thought about that and I have to say, that’s a totally different way of thinking to most girls I know, and me included. By ten dates, I would assume that I have a boyfriend. I think most girls would too. But guys? Apparently not yet.

Do guys assume that by the third date most girls are happy to think about having sex with them? Well, I’m not going to say “yes” because I really don’t want to generalize that much, but according to my guy friends, it’s certainly on the agenda at this point. Of course, a good guy isn’t going to pressure you, but don’t be surprised if he tries at least. [Read: How to be a perfect tease and keep a guy interested after sleeping with him]

If you don’t want to, don’t do it. If you want to, go for it, but be careful.

Girls tend to have their emotions wrapped up into potential relationships earlier than guys and this can lead to hurt feelings and heartbreak. I’ve done it, we’ve all done it, and most of my friends have done it too. We tend to think with our hearts and avoid the red warning signs, or the voice in our heads that’s telling us to just slow down and go with the flow.

In many ways, perhaps we should think more like guys. Perhaps we should just go with that dating flow and enjoy the process, instead of getting all stressed out and confused about what this date is supposed to mean, what that text message really meant, and what he thinks about the outfit you’re considering wearing.

It’s really not worth getting yourself so stressed about, because at the end of the day, if he’s a decent guy, it’s going to work out, right? [Read: How to take a relationship slow but not so slow that it ends]

If you’ve been on a couple of dates with someone and you’re about to embark on another, you are probably wondering about what does a third date mean for guys and starting to feel those first pangs of confusion. My advice to you is to slow down and think like a man. As I just mentioned, go with that flow that men seem to find much easier than women, attach yourself to it and follow it, just to see where it leads.

If we focus too much on what this means and what that means, we’re literally going to drive ourselves crazy.

[Read: Why do men love a chase and how to use this in your favor]

After trying to find out what does a third date mean for guys, I’ve come to the conclusion that it means a lot less to a guy than it does to a girl. Instead, follow the same way of thinking and just see where it leads.