Vaginal Fisting: What It Is, How It Feels & 15 Secrets to Enjoy Your First Try

Vaginal fisting might not be something that’s on your sexual radar, but perhaps it’s something that you might enjoy! Here’s the lowdown you need to know. 

People flinch in fear whenever they hear about vaginal fisting. Most consider it controversial, while some even see it as a cultural taboo.

The mere sound of the word “fisting” will probably make the most prude of us scream something like, “WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU WANT ANYBODY TO PUT THEIR WHOLE HAND IN YOU?”

However, when done correctly, fisting can be intimately exciting and pleasurable too! [Read: How to be kinky – 42 steamy tips to explore sex outside of normal]

What is vaginal fisting?

Fisting is an urban term for the sex act of inserting a hand inside a vagina for sexual gratification. Yes, it is possible to get your entire hand inside a pussy! If an 8-pound baby can fit through there, so can your hand!

Other names for fisting include fist f*cking, pussy fisting, punch f*cking, and lesbian fisting. It is called ‘fisting’ mainly because as you progress in doing this so-called forbidden sex act, your hand will fold into the shape of a fist as it passes through the vaginal passage, hence its interesting name.

However, let it be known that although fisting can be the most erotic sexual experience anyone can have, it is still not for everyone. Not all women are as roomy down there and flexible as porn stars. Thus, it will be very difficult to fist a woman who is pretty tight.

So, for those who are not sure about the size of their “lady gardens” but are dying to give it a try, just remember that the human vagina is elastic enough to withstand parturition several times. But since fisting is supposed to be satisfying and enjoyable despite some initial pain, if it hurts badly, STOP. [Read: Sexual bucket list – 35 dirty deeds to build your naughty wishlist]

What does vaginal fisting feel like and can you orgasm from it?

As with any type of sexual act, fisting feels different for every single person who tries it and the person who is doing the fisting.

For the receiver, most say that it feels extremely intense and they have a sense of ‘fullness.’ For the person fisting, it’s a warm sensation that feels very tight around their hand.

Look, some people enjoy it, others can’t even stand the idea of trying. Some people try it and never do it again. But it’s true that you can orgasm from fisting when done correctly.

That’s a phrase that we’re going to keep using here—’when done correctly!’ [Read: Freaky sex – what it means, myths, and racy ways to get wild in bed]

Is vaginal fisting safe, and does it hurt?

Here’s that phrase again—when done correctly, vaginal fisting is safe. However, it’s very easy to do it wrong and cause pain or even damage to the person you’re fisting. For that reason, moving very slowly and listening to your body, and your partner, is extremely important.

There is always going to be a slight amount of discomfort when you first try it—while the vagina is elastic, that doesn’t mean it’s not going to wonder what the hell is going on when a hand appears.

However, that discomfort shouldn’t be painful and it shouldn’t continue after the initial insertion. If this does occur, it’s important to stop. [Read: Meaning of safe words, best examples, and 27 ways to use them in rough play]

How can you make fisting more enjoyable?

Here are some vaginal fisting tips that may serve as your guide. Happy fisting everyone!

1. Set your mind

Determine whether you and your partner are both ready for this intense sex act. Talk about it before trying it, and hear each other’s views about the whole fisting thing.

If you don’t want to, then tell your partner that you need more time. If you are scared, let your partner know that you are. The decision must be mutual.

DO NOT FORCE ANYTHING! This one is non-negotiable!

2. Learn more before you attempt vaginal fisting

Prepare yourself by learning more about fisting. There are plenty of resources available online and in print that you can use to inform yourself about the dos and don’ts of fisting.

If you are a visual learner, we suggest you watch more lesbian porn or attend workshops to equip yourself with the proper way of doing it. If you are up for the challenge, raise your arm if the lecturer asks for a volunteer during demonstration! [Read: “Facts” you think you know about BDSM debunked]

3. Keep everything squeaky clean

If you are the giver, you should make sure that your fingernails are short and trimmed without any sharp edges to reduce the chance of any rips or tears. Your hands must also be as clean as it can be to reduce the possibility of infection.

Hands must be free from any jewelry or hand accessories that might hurt or get stuck in the process. There’s no such thing as fashion fisting anyway. If you are the receiver, just make sure your lady parts are pristine.

4. Wear a glove

Putting on a latex glove may not be very appealing to everyone. Some find gloves, just like condoms, a total mood buster, while others simply tend to forget once everything starts to heat up.

Regardless of your take on this, we’d say wearing one is the responsible approach to vaginal fisting. It acts as an added layer of protection against sexually transmitted diseases. Plus, it makes your hand smoother and slicker like jell-o, providing ease of access. [Read: How to have safe sex and the dangers of unprotected sex most don’t know]

5. Foreplay like there’s no tomorrow

Extreme arousal is necessary before vaginal fisting is even possible. The receiver must be very relaxed and highly aroused in order for the vaginal walls to expand and the muscles to loosen up to accommodate a fist.

So, stimulate your partner in any way possible. Do whatever works to keep the recipient wet and sexually turned on. And above all else, be patient and do not rush into insertion. [Read: How to turn a girl on and leave her wet and tingly when you’re around]

6. Use a lot of quality lube

Always lubricate, even if you think you can make her secrete enough lube on her own. Be generous in applying lube—if you think you’ve had enough, apply a little extra just to be sure.

We suggest you use a water based lube or those that are specially formulated for fisting. Do not use oil-based lubes. Oil based lubes and latex gloves are bad combinations as the former weakens the latex, making it prone to breaking. [Read: How to use lube to liven up your sex life instantly]

7. Go gently and slowly

Do not attempt to plunge in your entire hand at once. Vaginal fisting is a marathon, not a sprint! Start with one or two fingers, and then slowly add another, and then another until the fourth finger is in. The giver must also feel relaxed while doing this.

Fuse your fingers together to form a small stretched duck beak shape so your fingers are as compressed together as possible.

Ordinarily, the thumb and the knuckles are the toughest part to get past. In order to do this, the receiver must be EXTREMELY aroused. Again, lubricate! Do not be in a hurry and give her time to adjust before placing in your thumb and your palm all together. [Read: 35 slippery good lube substitutes, how & when to use them and ones to avoid]

Once the receiver is comfortable with four fingers inside, tuck your thumb under your palm and slowly press on until your knuckles are inside. If you get past this point, your hand will naturally curl into a fist. Otherwise, retreat and take a short break.

Once everything is inside, you can turn your wrist or move your hand up and down subtly to produce stimulating sensations. No wild f*cking and pumping, you’re not filming a porn movie! To be safe, make it a habit to ask what feels good and what doesn’t. [Read: Where to kiss a girl – 15 sexiest hot spots to arouse her instantly]

8. Communicate

Talk to your partner and read her body language. Watch her facial reactions and listen intently to her wishes. Most importantly, obey her commands. As the giver, your main responsibility is to look after the receiver.

You can always encourage, but if your partner asks you to stop, then for heaven’s sake, STOP. If she tells you to slow down a bit, skip arguing and DO IT! Fisting is all about pleasuring your partner! It doesn’t make sense anymore if you are causing too much pain.

9. Keep it real and use a safe word

Safe words are important in any type of sex act that requires total trust and submission. Adopting this concept, the giver and the receiver must agree beforehand to use a specific safe word once the going gets tough!

A safe word must not be a common bedroom word like oooh, ouch, oops, geez, nooo, ahhh, or anything to that effect. Then, if the safe word is uttered, everything stops. [Read: Master-slave relationship – 23 rules, how it works, and ideas to play your part]

10. Remember to enjoy it

Although vaginal fisting is a serious sex act, you should still be able to enjoy it. It might get a little uncomfortable, but it is definitely rewarding in the end.

At best, it should be able to produce a special intimate connection between both parties, a more intimate bond filled with love and respect.

If you are doing this for the first time, chances are that you might not be able to go all the way. The thumb-and-knuckles thing might be too much for you to handle. But don’t be discouraged if this isn’t your thing.

11. Remove your hand carefully

When you are done, glide your hand out gently and slowly without ripping her into shreds. Avoid any violent movements at all times. Again, talk to her and ask her if it hurts. [Read: 29 best sex secrets to have better sex and enjoy it more every single time!]

12. Know your body

As the person being fisted, make sure that you listen to your body and know the signs that you’re in discomfort or when something doesn’t feel quite right.

In the end, you need to enjoy this act and if it’s overly painful or you simply feel that something is amiss, use your safe word and your partner will stop. Vaginal fisting isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay.

13. Be patient

It might be that the first couple of fisting attempts don’t work out so well, but if you want to carry on trying, be patient. This isn’t something natural for your body, so it’s normal for it to take a few attempts.

Also, it’s not something either of you have ever done before *well, you at least*, so it’s normal for it to take a few tries. [Read: Arousing sex fantasies to try in real life]

14. Avoid fisting gels with numbing agents

You might be tempted to go for a fisting gel that includes a numbing agent, assuming that it will take away the initial discomfort. The thing is, your body produces pain to tell you when something is wrong. If you numb it, you might not know when something is seriously amiss.

15. Look out for signs of harm

Pain is obviously the first sign you should be aware of, at least pain that is ongoing and too much to handle. But you should also look out for other things, like spotting. If you notice these things, stop immediately. [Read: When sex hurts for women – the causes of painful sex]

Can you enjoy fisting without a partner?

In theory, yes, but it will be quite difficult to do it yourself. You’ll need to be quite flexible and the effort might take away your enjoyment.

Overall, most people enjoy vaginal fisting as part of sex with their partner.

When to consult a doctor

Listen to your body. If you feel that you might have sustained an injury during fisting, go and see your doctor. Also, if you experience severe pain or spotting/bleeding, it’s worthwhile going to see your doctor to check that everything is okay down there.

Don’t worry, they have seen it all before!

[Read: How to open up about sex and get your partner to share their desires]

Vaginal fisting is NOT for everyone. Some are simply NOT physically capable of it. But it’s not the end of the world, as there are a hundred more pleasures to enjoy together.