Unrequited Love: 58 Signs, Types & Steps to Get Out of Unreciprocated Love

No one wants to experience unrequited love, but many people have. It’s the kind of love that doesn’t lift you up—it drags you down. Find out more here.

There are so many ways to fall in love with someone. But unrequited love isn’t what most people want to experience.

Unrequited love is a kind of cursed love, where you can’t help but fall in love with someone even though you know that person will never love you back. [Read: Limerence – what it is, the effects and 26 ways it’s so different from love]

Obviously, unrequited love sucks. But, if you learn more about it, how it feels, how it happens, and what to do about it, then you can come out of it stronger than ever.

What is unrequited love?

Unrequited love is when the person you love either doesn’t love you back or is in love with someone else. Or the person you’re attracted to doesn’t feel the same way toward you. [Read: Don’t want to fall in love? 23 steps to stop loving someone who’ll hurt you]

When we have feelings for someone, we have this fantasy in our head that they’ll return our feelings, and we’ll live happily ever after.

But that’s now how life goes, at least most of the time. That’s why unrequited love hurts so much because the fantasy in your head is crushed when you know they don’t feel the same way. 

And of course, you can’t force someone to love you back, that’s not how love works. [Read: How to heal from the pain of loving someone who doesn’t love you back]

What causes unrequited love?

When you are experiencing unrequited love, your judgment can be clouded, and so you don’t see or understand things the way they really are. So, you’re probably wondering what even causes unrequited love. Here are your answers.

1. Lack of chemistry

Sexual chemistry is something that is almost unexplainable. You either feel it or you don’t. And just because you feel it with someone doesn’t mean that they feel the same way. [Read: Sexual chemistry – what it is, how it feels, 52 signs, and ways to increase it]

Even if you are very attractive, that doesn’t guarantee chemistry with everyone you take a liking to. Chemistry just comes down to many different factors, and sometimes two people just don’t have two-way chemistry.

2. When you chase after them, leaving them feeling overwhelmed 

Sadly, people want what they can’t have—it’s just part of human nature. So, if you’ve been chasing after someone because you want them so badly, that might turn them off. Neediness and clinginess aren’t very attractive to most people. 

They may even find you physically attractive, but if your personality seems desperate and you lack self-esteem, they will not develop feelings for you. [Read: Stop chasing him – why guys run and why you shouldn’t chase them]

So, if you don’t want to experience unrequited love, it’s best to work on your confidence. 

3. Wrong timing

You’ve probably heard the saying, “right person, wrong time.” Well, there’s a reason that saying exists—it’s mostly true. There are times in people’s lives when they just aren’t open to a relationship for whatever reason.

They could feel like they are too young, just broken up *or divorced*, be long-distance, or any other variety of reasons. [Read: Timing in love and relationships – why it’s so important]

So, sometimes unrequited love can be more about circumstances and timing. They might not allow themselves to feel any love because of that.

Types of unrequited love

Believe it or not, there isn’t just one type of unrequited love—there are several. Do you relate to any of these? 

1. Loving someone who does not return those feelings

This type of unrequited can manifest in a couple of different ways. [Read: Loveless relationship – reasons why people choose to stay]

First could be a relationship with someone who you love, but they don’t feel the same for you. This is mostly a “loveless” marriage/relationship, but only on one side.

Second, you could feel love for a friend or acquaintance, who isn’t romantically interested in you. Whether you are life-long friends or they’re someone you just met, it doesn’t matter. You have a crush or are deeply in love with them, but they don’t feel the same way. 

2. Pining for someone who isn’t available

The first type includes two single people or two in a relationship together. But for this type, you are in love with someone who you can’t have. [Read: 19 truths to stop liking someone or crushing on them if they’re not into you]

You are single, but they are in a relationship, married, or unavailable for some other reason. They probably don’t have feelings for you like you do because they simply can’t be with you for whatever reason. 

3. Mutual attraction between people who are both in other relationships

If you both are in relationships—or even married—then this is the third type of unrequited love. [Read: Having a crush while in a relationship – why it’s okay and what to know]

You are both attracted to each other and maybe even have feelings too. However, the likelihood of you being together is very small because you’re both unavailable.

4. Desire for an ex after a relationship ended

This type of unrequited love is quite common. There are many instances where two people break up, but only one of them actually wants to.

So, if you’re still in love with an ex, but they broke up with you because they don’t feel the same way, then your love is unrequited.

Unrequited vs. requited love

When someone doesn’t return your feelings, that’s the end of the story. There’s no changing the facts or changing their mind. They just don’t like you the same way. [Read: 36 healthy ways to handle rejection and respond positively even if it hurts]

But with requited love, the person you’re attracted to feels the same way. This is what everyone hopes for when it comes to their love life.

Okay, we’re not saying you’d automatically ride into happily ever after if love is reciprocated, but this is a start. The person you love loves you back, and it’s the best feeling in the world. It’s the exact opposite of how devastating unrequited love feels. 

When they like you back, you can actually do something about those feelings. You can go on dates and develop your connection toward a possible relationship. [Read: What is one-sided love? 20 ways to cope when you’re not loved back]

But with unrequited love, there’s no chance of these things ever happening. 

Experiencing unrequited love

The most painful part of unrequited love is when you fall in love with someone and express your feelings, and they turn you down for some reason or the other. [Read: Why do girls reject me? 40 reasons and the best ways to respond to a rejection]

You know you have to move on and get over this person who’s pierced your heart, but guess what; you’re just not able to. 

Your life starts to revolve around this one person and with every day that passes, you only feel more miserable and hopeless. It’s a sad place to be, and that’s definitely not an exaggeration.

If you want to know how to get over unrequited love and have a happy life that’s full of sunshine again, you need to be truthful to yourself and follow everything mentioned here. [Read: 103 heartfelt signs to know if you love someone or are falling in love]

Get these steps right and you’ll definitely be able to walk away with dignity.

Getting deeper into unrequited love

The biggest mistake most people make in unrequited love is to cling to a string of hope, with a wish that their crush will love them back someday.

Now there are no clear stages in unrequited love, but with each passing day that you involuntarily let yourself fall more in love with this person, the deeper you’re going to sink into unrequited love and the more painful your experience will be.

It’s always better to watch for signs of reciprocation so you can know whether to pursue someone or not, but these signs are never easy to decipher, especially if your crush is playing with your feelings. [Read: 75 huge signs to tell if a guy likes you and ways to make him like you more]

The best thing to do at times like these is either to back away and meet someone else. 

Or if you think you can handle it, pursue your crush, but keep yourself occupied with other things and date other people so you’re not slipping deeper into the quicksand of unrequited love.

Signs that you’re experiencing unrequited love in a relationship or situationship

Difficult as it may be to know exactly how someone feels about you, you can still look at some signs to clue you in on whether or not the one you love also loves you back 

1. They frequently ignore your messages

Texting or online messaging can be great ways to keep in contact with your significant other or the person you are interested in. [Read: 25 honest truths and ways to stop feeling ignored by someone you like]

They are great ways to communicate, flirt, and basically, just give each other attention.

But if the person you are in love with is keeping an icy distance over text, that can be a warning sign that the feeling isn’t mutual.

2. Unequal amounts of gift giving

If you are spending hundreds or thousands of dollars on the person you love, but they aren’t spending nearly enough on you, that can be a red flag. [Read: 19 signs of a taker in a relationship – are you a giver or a taker?]

Even if the person doesn’t have much money, they can still reciprocate by doing favors for you. If you get neither favors nor gifts for your efforts, then the one you’re spending so much on may not reciprocate your feelings.

3. They hardly ever want to cuddle

This might mean they aren’t invested in the connection. Cuddling is a close bonding experience that goes outside the realm of pure sexual desire. 

It can be quite intimate. So, if your partner is dodging cuddle sessions left and right, that could mean that they don’t want to bond with you any further. [Read: 20 loving and romantic touches in a relationship to make you feel closer]

4. They frequently flirt with other people

If your significant other is out there flirting up a storm, this could definitely be a signal that something is wrong. 

Maybe you stopped flirting with people a long time ago because you are only interested in them. But if they are still flirting big time, you might want to take note of that. There could be trouble in paradise.

5. They avoid spending time with you

Despite having enough free time to pencil in some bonding time with you, the person you like still makes up a bunch of excuses. [Read: Falling out of love – why it happens, 23 reasons, and signs to see it ASAP]

Things would be even worse if they keep making the same excuses, as this means they’re not even bothering with coming up with anything plausible just to fend you off.

6. Their body language blocks you off

Although this is more of a subtle sign that the person whom you love doesn’t love you back, it can also be one of the most important ones. 

Body language oftentimes conveys a lot of emotion. And importantly, it can convey an emotion that the person doesn’t want to communicate verbally for one reason or another. [Read: Body language attraction – 58 male and female signs and how to read and use them]

If your love interest’s body language is flat or distant, especially when they’re interacting with you, this could definitely mean that something is wrong. 

7. There’s no passion in the bedroom

Keep in mind that just because someone sleeps with you, doesn’t mean they love you. When two people are really into each other, the sex can be extremely passionate. There is a give-and-take between the two people that is highly rewarding and satisfying.

But, one sign that your feelings aren’t reciprocated is lackluster sex life. Even if your partner isn’t that great in bed, there should at least be some semblance of passion to show that they are into you. [Read: Spark in a relationship – 20 reasons why it’s gone and how to bring it back]

8. They avoid eye contact with you

There is a common saying that, “the eyes are the windows to the soul.”

Not looking you directly in the eyes could be a sign of a lack of interest, a wish that they were somewhere else entirely, or even hesitation to tell you outright that they don’t want to be with you.

9. They won’t let you use their phone

Refusal to let you use their phone could mean that your partner is hiding something from you, such as flirty texts or pictures from someone else. [Read: Dammit, why doesn’t he like me back? 31 reasons why guys do this]

But other than that, it can also be a sign that they don’t trust you enough to look through their correspondences.

10. They lie about their whereabouts

Occasionally, you may catch the person whom you love lying to you about where they are going. [Read: 12 types of liars, 15 types of lies, they often use, and ways to deal with them]

If they say that they are going to watch the baseball game at the bar, but you know that the game isn’t on until tomorrow, this could be a warning sign. Also, they may also not care that you caught them in a lie at all.

11. You feel alone in the relationship

Do you ever feel like you’re the only one who puts in any actual effort to make the relationship work? Do you feel as if your partner has just given up, but they just haven’t had the nerve to tell you they want to get out of the relationship? 

Feeling alone may be a sign that your partner has completely neglected your needs, and is just waiting on you to give it all up and move on. [Read: 28 truths about feeling alone in a relationship and how to fix it ASAP]

Impact of unrequited love

Obviously, unrequited love is not a positive experience, so the impact it will have on you won’t be very good. It can be a source of emotional turmoil. Here are some potential effects.

1. Poor self-esteem

The longer you have feelings of love for someone when they’re not returned, the more damage it will do to your overall self-esteem. You will likely feel not only rejected, but you will think that you aren’t worthy enough for them to love you *but that’s not true*.

2. Isolation

When you love someone and they don’t love you back, it can make you feel very lonely and isolated. [Read: How not to feel lonely – 30 ways to chase the lonely blues away]

If you let these feelings of love overwhelm you and your life, you might miss out on meeting other people who actually do love you.

3. Stress 

Stress is one of the leading causes of diseases, and having a healthy relationship can help protect against them. But when you have an unhealthy obsession with someone who doesn’t return your love, it is incredibly stressful. It can actually be toxic.

How to get over unrequited love and move on

If you suffer from a rejection like unrequited love, there are ways to try and get back on your feet sooner rather than later. [Read: Fear of rejection – 56 signs, causes, and ways to overcome and get over it]

The faster you get over someone who doesn’t like you back, the better. After all, if they don’t feel the same way, there really is no point in dwelling on it.

It’s more than likely in the future that you meet someone better, who makes you happier, and, most importantly, likes you back too. 

The sooner you stop wallowing in misery about this other person, the sooner you open yourself up to the experiences and people who make it happen! [Read: 30 signs of a one-sided relationship and how to fix it before it ends]

So, what can you do to get over unrequited love? Here are some tried and tested pieces of advice.

1. Accept that the love is unrequited

The most important thing you do to move on is simply to accept it. 

People waste years trying to make the object of their affection change, hoping that maybe one day they will see them differently, or suddenly the veil will be lifted, and they’ll fall head over heels for them too.

It’s easy to be in denial with unrequited love, but it’s only further delaying your moving-on process. If they tell you they don’t feel the same, accept it and make your peace with it. 

The faster you come to terms with it, the better. [Read: 25 signs your heart is breaking *and how to get over it*]

2. Forgive them

It’s hard not to feel hurt and bitter if you have strong feelings for someone and they don’t feel the same way. 

But remember, they’re probably not intentionally trying to hurt you; they just don’t feel the same. Instead of becoming resentful towards them, forgive them and understand that it isn’t anyone’s fault.

The more you hold a grudge against them, the more you can’t move on from the pain you feel. So forgive them for not liking or loving you back, and know you tried to do everything on your end. [Read: How to forgive and forget? 24 thoughts to decide on the right step]

3. Go on other dates

Try to see who else is out there. The more people you meet, the more likely you are to find that special someone, or at least realize that there are plenty of lovely, attractive, funny people out there. 

Dating around and getting yourself out there is the best way to recognize that there really are plenty of fish on the sea!

Even if dating is the last thing you want to do right now, do it anyway. The way to move past unrequited love is to find someone else who reciprocates your feelings. [Read: Very good e examples and funny Tinder bios to get laid or find a date ASAP]

4. Talk about your unrequited love with friends

If you feel hurt and upset about being rejected by someone you love, don’t bottle it up. 

Your friends are there to lean on and help you make sense of your feelings, to give you comfort, and to persuade you that the person isn’t worth your time! So, make sure you talk to people about it.

Often, talking it through will make you feel so much better. Unreciprocated love hurts like a bitch, but that’s not an excuse to push your friends away and turn into a lonely hermit. [Read: Good friends are like stars – 18 ways to build lasting friendships]

5. Give yourself a break

Stop blaming yourself and realize it is nothing you did, and nothing you change about yourself will make a difference right now. 

It’s so easy to think, “if I were just a little thinner” or “if I just hadn’t said that stupid thing,” everything would be different. But you shouldn’t have to change yourself for someone else—remember that!

So go easy on yourself rather than going into full self-blame. Remember that it’s nothing you lack that means they don’t feel the same way, but some things just aren’t meant to be. 

If they were the right person for you, they would’ve returned your feelings! [Read: How to heal from the pain of loving someone who doesn’t love you back]

6. Treat yourself

When you feel hurt, remember to be kind to yourself. Go for a massage, cook yourself a nice dinner, and buy those shoes you eyed for ages. Doing nice things for yourself is sure to bring a smile back to your face. 

When you’re going through pain from unrequited love, this is your opportunity to spoil yourself and treat yourself. And most importantly, show yourself that you still love yourself.

This will not only make you feel better, but it could help you put things in perspective. [Read: 34 life-changing steps to fall in love with yourself all over again]

7. Distance yourself from your unrequited love

In order to get over someone, get your space. It’s hard, we know, but putting some distance between you two helps you heal. 

You won’t get over the fact they didn’t return your feelings if you stay in contact with them. To move on from unrequited love, you need to put enough space between you two.

If you were initially friends, this would be harder because there’s a risk of the friendship being affected. 

But if you weren’t friends before you caught feelings for them, it’s time to step back and create a little distance from them. [Read: How to emotionally detach from someone and stop them from hurting you]

8. Do lots of things for you

Make loads of time for yourself and do things you’ve always wanted to do. The more you achieve and the more goals you hit, the better you’ll feel about yourself. 

When you’re in a phase of heartbreak and pain, the best thing to do is shift your focus from them to yourself.

Reinvent yourself and try several new things while you’re at it! Hit the gym, focus on your work, try to create a piece of work, and do everything you’ve always wanted to try! [Read: How to take care of yourself emotionally and avoid falling apart]

9. Enjoy single life

Remember, single life has a lot of perks too *maybe even more than being in a relationship*! 

If you spent too long dwelling on this person, you’ve probably forgotten that. So, try to enjoy yourself, be more independent, and revel in your freedom. While being in a relationship and dating can be fun, realize that being single can be equally fun.

You’re missing out a lot by focusing on someone who doesn’t reciprocate your love. The faster you realize this, the more capable you will be in moving past your unrequited love. [Read: Single for life – Enjoy the ride and find the one along the way]

10. Get healthy

It can be tempting to lock ourselves in our houses and eat buckets of ice cream when we’re upset. However, do yourself a favor by eating healthily and exercising. Those feel-good endorphins make you feel great and have loads more energy too.

You can eat a tub of ice cream and cry about your feelings one night. But after that, get back up and take care of yourself! 

Remind yourself that you’re stronger than you think. Self-destructive habits aren’t an option, no matter how desperate you are to distract yourself. [Read: Healthy relationship – 27 signs, qualities, and what it looks like in real life]

11. Keep busy

Don’t wallow in your misery and distract yourself by keeping as busy as you can. Just take things day by day, but keep them action-packed. 

Then you won’t have time to stop and be miserable anyway. So, stay busy and use your time and energy to be productive.

If you want to move on from your unrequited love, keeping busy is the best option that won’t encourage you to resort to destructive habits. You’re heartbroken, but that’s not an excuse to self-sabotage. [Read: Ways to stop moaning and stay busy after a breakup]

12. Spend time with people who do love you

Remember, just because this person doesn’t reciprocate your love doesn’t mean there aren’t loads of people out there who think you are amazing! 

Focus on them instead. You have so much love in your life and one person not loving you back isn’t the end of the world *even if it might feel like it right now*.

Now spend time with the people you love and let yourself feel loved and supported around them. They’re exactly who you need when moving on from unrequited love. [Read: True friendship – 37 real friend traits and what it takes to be a good one]

13. Take up meditation

Doing something relaxing and cathartic like meditation helps you free your mind and put things in perspective.

Give it a go! It’s a breathing technique that can significantly help you accept your difficult emotions and thoughts while also letting them go. [Read: How to release anger – 20 ways to focus on the positives in life]

Never underestimate the power of meditation when dealing with heartbreak.

14. Go for long walks

Sometimes, getting out into nature and taking in fresh air gives you a new perspective on things. Long walks are a great time to spend mulling things over, and the exercise makes you feel good too. 

You’re more likely to dwell on your unrequited love when you stay within the same environment constantly. [Read: 42 rules to forget someone you love and cared for as fast as possible]

So going for walks will help you get a change of environment so that you don’t focus as much on your heartbreak and the fact that they don’t feel the same way.

15. Listen to uplifting music

Don’t indulge in your sadness by putting on all those heartbreak tracks. Instead, create a playlist of songs that get you going, lift your mood, and make you feel great. 

Play it every time you feel sad. Don’t underestimate the power of good music when you’re trying to overcome unrequited love. [Read: 40 fun and upbeat songs to groove you out of that funk]

16. Do something daring

Be brave, and take on the world! Do something that scares you! Doing something daring gives you a new sense of courage and independence. It’s the perfect chance to try something new and get out of your horizons.

You’ve been so focused on chasing the person you like that you forgot to actually live your life. So now’s your chance to do that! Travel alone, go cliff diving, ride a bike, or do whatever you feel like doing. [Read: 20 lifestyle changes to make in your 20s for a better life]

17. Sing your heart out

Singing helps you release some of that pent-up emotion, so even if you’re not the best singer, just go for it! You don’t have to be the best singer to sing, you know? 

This is actually very therapeutic for heartbreaks and pain, so it’s now or never to get singing. Just like you should dance like nobody’s watching, the same goes for singing in the shower!

18. Dance!

Dancing is another feel-good activity where you really shake out all the emotions you feel. Whether it’s at a great club or in your undies in the living room, dancing helps us feel great. [Read: 40 ways to have fun with friends, beat boredom, and create new memories]

It’s not the end of the world, so it’s time to dance your sorrows away! You’ll immediately feel better by just dancing to your favorite tune. Who cares if you’re listening to Taylor Swift? Just listen and dance!

Dancing releases endorphins and dopamine in your body, which are hormones that make you feel good. Want to get past your unrequited love? Then dance *you’ll regret it if you don’t*!

19. Know it happens to the best of us

Remember, you are not alone in this, no matter how lonely you feel. Unreciprocated love happens to most people and pretty much everyone survives it, so take comfort in that. [Read: Loving someone you can’t have – 15 ways to accept unreciprocated love]

If you ever feel alone in your heartbreak, remember that every person has experienced this at least once in their lives. And they’ve all overcome it.

It happens even to the best of us, but you eventually gather the strength to move on and find someone better; someone who will return your feelings.

20. Learn from unrequited love

Try to reflect on your experience of unrequited love and use it to help you make better decisions and have healthier relationships in the future. There’s always something you can learn from your experience with dating and relationships. [Read: Things about love you’ll only learn from experience]

So look back and reflect on the lessons you can take from this painful experience. There’s always something, so pay attention and imprint the lessons in your heart.

21. Allow yourself to hurt

Remember, it is okay to be sad at times. Allow yourself to feel it, but just don’t let it become all that you do. Allow yourself to be hurt, but don’t dwell on the pain. Your heartbreak will never define you, and you’re so much stronger than you believe right now.

You will have feelings for someone else again, and you’ll go back to this moment where you thought you’d never get past your unrequited love. [Read: How to unlove someone even if you feel like you can never forget them]

As uncomfortable as it feels, let yourself get hurt, but remember that you will look back at this moment in the future and have a laugh.

22. Know you’ll find someone better

You really will find someone so much better for you and who makes you feel amazing. Try to remember this and really believe it. 

The sooner you do, the sooner you’ll be able to move on. You’ll find someone who sees you for how amazing you truly are, and they’ll return your feelings. You just have to hold on and give yourself time to move on from the pain. [Read: 20 revealing questions to get to know someone better]

23. Find meaning in the experience

Just like learning from the experience, there’s always something meaningful you can get from unrequited love. 

For instance, when you realize that unrequited love is also a way to get yourself closer to the person really meant for you, you’ll be thankful it happened when you look back on it. [Read: The experience of love – fickle & best enjoyed moment by moment?]

You’re only one heartbreak away from finding the person who actually returns your feelings, so hold on to that.

24. Realize you did everything you could

If you’re tempted to blame yourself, realize that you did everything in your power to build a connection with them. 

If they didn’t like you back, that isn’t your fault. Don’t use this as a chance to blame yourself and focus on your flaws and imperfections. [Read: How to impress your crush – 25 tips to steal their heart effortlessly]

Don’t go down the self-destructive path, as there’s nothing about it that will make you move on from them. Change your perspective and stop blaming yourself, even if it’s so easy to do so.

25. Ask yourself what you want

If and only if this isn’t your first unrequited love, there could be a cycle going on. It’s possible that you’re so used to having what you can’t have that you completely ignore everyone else who feels something for you. 

Maybe you’re sabotaging your own happiness, or maybe you don’t think you deserve it. [Read: 25 honest, self-reflection questions to recognize the real YOU inside]

Whatever the reason, if this cycle has been going on for quite some time, you can only move on by stopping the cycle altogether. No matter what your mind convinces you of, you deserve love and happiness.

26. Don’t have long conversations

Sometimes, you may bump into your crush or find yourself in a circumstance where you’re obligated to sit together for a while. 

Talk to your crush in a friendly way, but never let the flirting games take control. It can feel so good when your crush lingers their palm on you or talks about how good you look. [Read: How to get to know your crush ASAP before you fall too hard for them]

Steer the conversation away from anything flirty or romantic. Remind yourself that this person is only toying with you and trying to make you fall more in love, just to have a good time. If your crush persists, you can open up and tell them the truth subtly.

27. Have more self-respect

People who find themselves experiencing the pangs of unrequited love absolutely have no self-respect. It’s true and you just have to accept it.

It hurts, but acknowledging it will help give you the strength to walk away. If you really did love and respect yourself, would you be throwing yourself at the feet of someone who doesn’t even treat you right?

Unrequited love can suck the confidence and happiness out of your life, but all it takes is little steps to bring it all back. Start believing in yourself and understand your real worth, and realize the fact that you’re a wonderful person who deserves someone a lot better.

28. Realize how stupid you’ve been

When you’re in love, it’s alright to run errands and make a fool of yourself for your lover. But that’s completely unacceptable if you’re drowning in unrequited love. 

Your crush may have learned to use you for their benefit all this while, but now it’s time to put your foot down. Don’t go out of your way to help your crush.

In fact, don’t even bother trying to help your crush in any way. [Read: People pleaser – 21 signs you’re one and how to stop people pleasing]

Helping a crush in need may make your day, but it also makes you an idiot who doesn’t see the big picture where your crush is using you, ridiculing you, and laughing at you, behind your back.

29. Understand that there’s no happy ending here

Reading about how stupid and weak you’ve been may hurt you, but it’ll help you realize how wrong you’ve been to fall in love and stay in love with someone who will never ever love you back.

Your crush may smile at you and wink at you today, but if you want to know how to get over unrequited love, you need to remind yourself of the big picture. [Read: Signs of obsession – the signs of obsessive love you can’t ignore]

There is no happy ending in this kind of one-sided relationship. 

Your crush will always use you, and you’ll always stay used and loveless. As exciting as a smile may seem today, you have to remember that you’ll never really experience happiness as long as you’re sinking in unrequited love.

30. Don’t let your crush know you’re hurting

In a relationship, the one who loves less controls the emotions in the relationship. In unrequited love, you’re madly and hopelessly in love.

And your crush couldn’t care less about you. Can you even guess who’s controlling this relationship? [Read: 20 wild steps to get over a broken heart and heal like you don’t care]

When you try to get out of unrequited love, your crush may try harder to make you fall more in love. Your crush may sweet talk you, cuddle you, or even ask you out in jest, but don’t fall for it. And never ever let your crush know that you’re hurting inside. 

By doing that, you’re letting your crush know that you’re still madly in love with them. And your crush would try to find all ways to try and use you up and pin you down in unrequited love. [Read: Why do men like a chase and how to use it in your favor]

31. Meet more people and make new friends

If you want to get your mind off your crush, you need to learn to keep yourself occupied. Meet new friends or reconnect with old happy friends that you know can cheer you up. 

The less you think about your crush, the stronger you’ll feel. Don’t lock yourself up at home in isolation. Go out with friends, shop for a while, or rent a few good movies *not the rom-coms*, and have a good time all the time. 

It’ll help you move on and help you realize that you don’t need this person in your life to experience happiness. [Read: How to find the right person when you’ve given up hope]

32. Create new happy experiences

To understand how to get over unrequited love, you need to fill your life with new, exciting experiences. Wake up listening to your favorite song, join a gym, start a few hobbies, or take a little vacation with friends. 

When you’re in unrequited love, all your memories will revolve around just one person. Create new happy memories and replace all the sadness in your life with happy thoughts, one step at a time.

How long does unrequited love last?

This is a difficult question to answer because everyone is different. For some, unrequited love might only last a few weeks or months. But for others, it might go on for years—or even a lifetime. [Read: 25 BIG signs a girl doesn’t like you and has rejected you already]

The main determining factor for how long it lasts mostly depends on your self-esteem, if you have a full and exciting life, and whether or not you have any contact with the object of your affection.

If you are able to cut contact with them, then you will eventually grow out of love with them. However, if they are an integral part of your life for whatever reason, then it will be more difficult to get over them and move on.

In order to recover from unrequited love, it’s important to understand that the “love” never really existed. [Read: 29 healing steps to get over someone you never dated but loved deeply]

The only thing that was real was your one-sided fantasy of what a relationship with this person could have been like rather than the reality of the situation.

It’s actually healthy to let go of unrequited love. After all, why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t love you and only gives you pain because they don’t feel love for you? You should find someone who loves you as much as you love them.

When to get help

Most people eventually move past their unrequited love. However, for others, it’s very difficult and they might need some help. If you are experiencing any of the following, then you should seek help. [Read: Signs you need relationship help and where to find assistance]

1. You struggle to get back to your normal routine

Maybe you had a whole fantasy about your love affair worked up in your head. You played it over and over dreaming about the future with this person. But then when you find out that they don’t feel the same way, you can’t get back to normal.

2. You experience feelings of breakup depression

Many people get depressed for one reason or another from time to time. But if you are having intense feelings of depression because of a breakup that isn’t really going away with time, then you probably need a doctor or therapist to help you.

3. You ruminate on negative emotions

Maybe you’re overanalyzing and overthinking too much. You can’t help but think about how unlovable or unattractive you are. [Read: How to stop overthinking – secrets to go from overthinker to relaxer]

If you can’t get the negative thoughts and emotions out of your head and replace them with good ones, then that is a problem.

4. You have thoughts of suicide or self-harm

This one is a no-brainer and you should run to your nearest therapist or a trusted person. If you’re even contemplating suicide or self-harm, that is very serious. No unrequited love is worth hurting yourself or ending your life! There are plenty of other fish in the sea.

5. You want to explore patterns that lead to poor romantic relationships 

Maybe because of this unrequited love, you realize that you have a history of poor romantic relationships.[Read: 70 true secrets to happiness to have a happy life and enjoy everything you do]

And maybe you choose the wrong people, and that’s why they don’t love you back. So, seek someone to help you explore your bad patterns so you can break them and be happier in the future.

Final thoughts

There is no denying that unrequited love really sucks. But no matter how painful it is, you won’t feel this way forever. Remember that! 

[Read: How to tell if someone is using you – 22 signs a user just can’t hide]

The vast majority of people who experience unrequited love find that once they are able to move on, they appreciate the experience for what it was. It might hurt at that moment but once you move on, you’ll be thankful for the experience and lesson it gave you.