Unreciprocated Love: 25 Ways to Move On When Love Isn’t Returned

Just because unreciprocated love happens to even the best of us, it doesn’t make it easier to bear. So here are sure ways to help you move on from them.

Unreciprocated love is something most people experience in their lifetime. Whether rejected on the playground by the person we had a childhood crush on, or having our hearts ripped out of our chests by someone we are head over heels with telling us they simply do not feel the same way.

No matter who they are in your life, it will always feel like a soul-crushing experience when they don’t return your feelings. Whether it’s your best friend, childhood crush, or even that cute person in your local coffee shop, when someone doesn’t feel the same way, there’s no right set of words to explain how painful it feels.

At the time, it feels like the world is over, and it takes months, sometimes even years, before we feel our wounds are healed enough to get back out there and make ourselves vulnerable again.

[Read: Loving someone you can’t have – 15 ways to accept unreciprocated love]

What is unreciprocated love?

Unreciprocated love is when the person you love, doesn’t love you back or is in love with someone else. Or, the person you’re attracted to doesn’t feel the same way towards you. When we have feelings for someone, we have this fantasy in our head that they’ll return our feelings and we’ll live happily ever after.

But that’s now how life goes, at least most of the time. The reason why unreciprocated love hurts so much is because the fantasy in your head is crushed when you know they don’t feel the same way.

And of course, you can’t force someone to love you back, that’s not how love works.

So when someone doesn’t feel the same way towards you as you feel for them, you’re forced to accept the brutal truth that it’s a lost cause and you need to move on with your life. [Read: 13 easy ways to avoid falling in love with someone]

Unreciprocated vs reciprocated love

When someone doesn’t return your feelings, that’s the end of the story. There’s no changing the facts or changing their mind. They don’t like you the same way. But with reciprocated love, the person you’re attracted to feels the same way. This is what everyone hopes for when it comes to their crush.

Okay, we’re not saying you’d automatically ride into happily ever after if love is reciprocated, but this is a start. The person you love loves you back, and it’s the best feeling in the world. It’s the exact opposite of how devastating unreciprocated love feels.

When they like you back, you can actually do something about those feelings, like going on a date and developing your connection towards a possible relationship.

But with unreciprocated love, there’s no chance of these things ever happening. It’s a complete lost cause, and you just have to accept that things were never meant to be and move on instead. [Read: What is one-sided love? 20 ways to cope when you’re not loved back]

25 ways to move on from unreciprocated love

If you suffer from a rejection like unreciprocated love, there are ways to try and get back on your feet sooner rather than later. The faster you get over someone who doesn’t like you back, the better. After all, if they don’t feel the same way, there really is no point in dwelling on it.

It’s more than likely in the future that you meet someone better, who makes you happier, and, most importantly, likes you back too. The sooner you stop wallowing in misery about this other person, the sooner you open yourself up to the experiences and people who make it happen!

So, what can you do to get over unreciprocated love? Here are some tried and tested pieces of advice. [Read: 12 hidden signs of a one-sided relationship we all choose to ignore]

1. Accept that the love is unreciprocated

The most important thing you do to move on is simply to accept it. People waste years trying to make the object of their affection change, hoping that maybe one day they will see them differently, or suddenly the veil will be lifted, and they’ll fall head over heels for them too.

It’s easy to be in denial with unreciprocated love, but it’s only further delaying your moving on process. If they tell you they don’t feel the same, accept it and make your peace with it. The faster you come to terms with it, the better. [Read: 25 signs your heart is breaking and how to get over it]

2. Forgive them

It’s hard not to feel hurt and bitter if you have strong feelings for someone and they don’t feel the same way. But remember, it is doubtful that they’re intentionally trying to hurt you; they just don’t feel the same. Instead of becoming resentful towards them, forgive them and understand that it isn’t anyone’s fault.

The more you hold a grudge against them, the more you can’t move on from the pain you feel. So forgive them for not liking or loving you back, and know you tried to do everything on your end. [Read: Should you forgive and forget? 15 guidelines to follow]

3. Go on other dates

Try to see who else is out there. The more people you meet, the more likely you are to find that special someone, or at least realize that there are plenty of lovely, attractive, funny people out there. Dating around and getting yourself out there is the best way to recognize that there really are plenty of fish on the sea!

Even if dating is the last thing you want to do right now, do it anyway. The way to move past unreciprocated love is to find someone else who reciprocates your feelings. [Read: Good Tinder bios that get you dates – The easiest tweaks for a sexy bio]

4. Talk about your unreciprocated love with friends

If you feel hurt and upset about being rejected by someone you love, don’t bottle it up. Your friends are there to lean on and help you make sense of your feelings, to give you comfort, and to persuade you that the person isn’t worth your time! So, make sure you talk to people about it.

Often when you talk it through, you feel so much better. Unreciprocated hurts like a bitch, but that’s not an excuse to push your friends away and turn into a lonely hermit. Talking about it helps you release all the heartbreak and pain you feel. Trust us; you’ll feel much better afterward! [Read: Good friends are like stars – 18 ways to build lasting friendships]

5. Give yourself a break

Stop blaming yourself and realize it is nothing you did, and nothing you change about yourself will make a difference right now.

It’s so easy to think, ‘if I were just a little thinner’ or ‘if I just hadn’t said that stupid thing,’ everything would be different. But you shouldn’t have to change yourself for someone else—remember that!

So go easy on yourself rather than going into full self-blame. Remember that it’s nothing you lack why they didn’t feel the same way, but some things just aren’t meant to be. If they were the right person for you, they would’ve returned your feelings! [Read: The pain of loving someone who doesn’t love you back]

6. Treat yourself

When you feel hurt, remember to be kind to yourself. Go for a massage, cook yourself a nice dinner, buy those shoes you eyed for ages. Doing nice things for yourself is sure to bring a smile back to your face. When you’re going through pain from unreciprocated love, this is your opportunity to spoil yourself and treat yourself. And most importantly, show yourself that you still love yourself.

Get yourself ice cream, buy those clothes you’ve wanted for so long, splurge on a visit to the spa! This will not only make you feel better, but it could help you put things in perspective. [Read: How to love yourself – The 23 best ways to find self-love & happiness]

7. Distance yourself from your unreciprocated love

In order to get over someone, get your space. It’s hard, we know, but putting some distance between you two helps you heal. You won’t get over the fact they didn’t return your feelings if you stay in contact with them. To move on from unreciprocated love, you need to put enough space between you two.

If you were initially friends, this would be harder because there’s a risk of the friendship being affected. But if you weren’t friends before you caught feelings for them, it’s time to step back and create a little distance from them. [Read: How to emotionally detach from someone and stop them from hurting you]

8. Do lots of things for you

Make loads of time for yourself and do things you’ve always wanted to do. The more you achieve and the more goals you hit, the better you’ll feel about yourself. When you’re in a phase of heartbreak and pain, the best thing to do is shift your focus from them to yourself.

Reinvent yourself and try several new things while you’re at it! Hit the gym, focus on your work, try to create a piece of work, and do everything you’ve always wanted to try!

9. Enjoy single life

Remember, single life has a lot of perks too *maybe even more than being in a relationship*! If you spent too long dwelling on this person, you’ve probably forgotten that, so try to enjoy yourself, be more independent and revel in your freedom. While being in a relationship and dating can be fun, realize that being single can be equally fun.

You’re missing out a lot by focusing on someone who doesn’t reciprocate your love. The faster you realize this, the more capable you will be in moving past your unreciprocated love. [Read: Single for life – Enjoy the ride and find the one along the way]

10. Get healthy

It can be tempting to lock ourselves in our houses and eat buckets of ice cream when upset. However, do yourself a favor by eating healthily and exercising. Those feel-good endorphins make you feel great and have loads more energy too.

You can eat a tub of ice cream and cry about your feelings one night. But after that, get back up and take care of yourself! Remind yourself that you’re stronger than you think. Self-destructive habits aren’t an option, no matter how desperate you are to distract yourself. [Read: The 12 qualities of a healthy relationship that keep couples happy]

11. Keep busy

Don’t wallow in your misery and distract yourself by keeping as busy as you can. Just take things day by day, but keep them action-packed. Then you won’t have time to stop and be miserable anyway. So stay busy and use your time and energy to be productive.

If you want to move on from your unreciprocated love, keeping busy is the best option that won’t encourage you to resort to destructive habits. You’re heartbroken, but that’s not an excuse to self-sabotage.

12. Spend time with people who do love you

Remember, just because this person doesn’t reciprocate your love doesn’t mean there aren’t loads of people out there who think you are amazing! Focus on them instead. You have so much love in your life and one person not loving you back isn’t the end of the world *even if it might feel like it right now*.

Now spend time with the people you love and let yourself feel loved and supported around them. They’re exactly who you need when moving on from unreciprocated love.

13. Take up meditation

Doing something relaxing and cathartic like meditation helps you free your mind and put things in perspective. Give it a go! It’s a breathing technique that can significantly help you accept your difficult emotions and thoughts while also letting them go.

Never underestimate the power of meditation when dealing with heartbreak. [Read: 20 ways to focus on the positives in life]

14. Go for long walks

Sometimes, getting out into nature and taking in fresh air gives you a new perspective on things. Long walks are a great time to spend mulling things over, and the exercise makes you feel good too. You’re more likely to dwell on your unreciprocated love when you stay within the same environment constantly.

So going for walks will help you get a change of environment, so you don’t focus as much on your heartbreak and the fact that they don’t feel the same way. [Read: 15 very effective rules to forget someone you once cared for]

15. Listen to uplifting music

Don’t indulge in your sadness by putting on all those heartbreak tracks. Instead, create a playlist of songs that get you going, lift your mood, and make you feel great. Play it every time you feel sad. Don’t underestimate the power of good music when you’re trying to overcome unreciprocated love.

16. Do something daring

Be brave, and take on the world! Do something that scares you! Doing something daring gives you a new sense of courage and independence. It’s the perfect chance to try something new and get out of your horizons.

You’ve been so focused on chasing the person you like that you forgot to actually live your life. So now’s your chance to do that! Travel alone, go cliff diving, ride a bike, do whatever you feel like doing. [Read: 20 lifestyle changes to make in your 20s for a better life]

17. Sing your heart out

Singing helps you release some of that pent-up emotion, so even if you’re not the best singer, just go for it! You don’t have to be the best singer to sing, you know? This is actually very therapeutic for heartbreaks and pain, so it’s now or never to get singing. Just like you should dance like nobody’s watching, the same goes for singing in the shower!

18. Dance!

Dancing is another feel-good activity where you really shake out all the emotions you feel. Whether it’s at a great club or in your undies in the living room, dancing helps us feel great.

It’s not the end of the world, so it’s time to dance your sorrows away! You’ll immediately feel better by just dancing to your favorite tune. Who cares if you’re listening to Taylor Swift? Just listen and dance!

Dancing releases endorphins and dopamine in your body, which are hormones that make you feel good. Want to get past your unreciprocated love? Then dance *you’ll regret it if you don’t*! [Read: How to have fun with friends: 40 ways to beat boredom]

19. Know it happens to the best of us

Remember, you are not alone in this, no matter how lonely you feel. Unreciprocated love happens to most people and pretty much everyone survives it, so take comfort in that. If you ever feel alone in your heartbreak, remember that every person has experienced this at least once in their lives. And they’ve all overcome it.

It happens even to the best of us, but you eventually gather the strength to move on and find someone better – someone who will return your feelings. [Read: 15 steps to handle the pain of loving someone you can’t have]

20. Learn from unreciprocated love

Try to reflect on your experience of unrequited love and use it to help you make better decisions and have healthier relationships in the future. There’s always something you can learn from your experience with dating and relationships.

So look back and reflect on the lessons you can take from this painful experience. There’s always something, so pay attention and imprint the lessons in your heart. [Read: 12 things about love you’ll only learn from experience]

21. Allow yourself to hurt

Remember, it is okay to be sad at times. Allow yourself to feel it, but just don’t let it become all that you do. Allow yourself to be hurt, but don’t dwell on the pain. Your heartbreak will never define you, and you’re so much stronger than you believe right now.

You will have feelings for someone else again, and you’ll go back to this moment where you thought you’d never get past your unreciprocated love. As uncomfortable as it feels, let yourself get hurt, but remember that you will look back at this moment in future and have a laugh. [Read: 14 powerful ways to unlove someone and do the impossible]

22. Know you’ll find someone better

You really will find someone so much better for you and who makes you feel amazing. Try to remember this and really believe it. The sooner you do, the sooner you’ll be able to move on. It’s hard to think about this at this moment, but you will find someone better.

You’ll find someone who sees you for how amazing you truly are, and they’ll return your feelings. You just have to hold on and give yourself time to move on from the pain. [Read: 20 revealing questions to get to know someone better]

23. Find meaning in the experience

Just like learning from the experience, there’s always something meaningful you can get from unreciprocated love. For instance, when you realize that unreciprocated love is also a way to get yourself closer to the person really meant for you, you’ll be thankful it happened when you look back on it.

You’re only one heartbreak away from finding the person who actually returns your feelings, so hold on to that. [Read: The experience of love – Fickle & best enjoyed moment by moment?]

24. Realize you did everything you could

If you’re tempted to blame yourself, realize that you did everything in your power to build a connection with them. If they didn’t like you back, that isn’t your fault. Don’t use this as a chance to blame yourself and focus on your flaws and imperfections.

Don’t go down the self-destructive path, as there’s nothing about it that will make you move on from them. Change your perspective and stop blaming yourself, even if it’s so easy to do so. [Read: How to impress your crush the right way – 25 powerful tips to steal anyone’s heart effortlessly]

25. Ask yourself what you want

If and only if this isn’t your first unreciprocated love, there could be a cycle going on. It’s possible that you’re so used to having what you can’t have that you completely ignore everyone else who feels something for you. Maybe you’re sabotaging your own happiness, or maybe you don’t think you deserve it.

Whatever the reason, if this cycle has been going on for quite some time, you can only move on by stopping the cycle altogether. No matter what your mind convinces you of, you deserve love and happiness.

[Read: How to get to know your crush better before you pursue them – The full guide]

So, how to move on from unreciprocated love?

There is no denying that unreciprocated love really sucks. But no matter how painful it is, you won’t feel this way forever. Remember that!

[Read: How to tell if someone is using you – 16 signs a user just can’t hide]

The vast majority of people who experience unreciprocated love find that once they are able to move on, they appreciate the experience for what it was. It might hurt at that moment but once you move on, you’ll be thankful for the experience and lesson it gave you.