Triad Relationship: What It Is, 33 Honest Questions, Facts & Benefits

You might be feeling adventurous, or maybe you’re just curious. Either way, you want to know about triad relationships. Here’s what you need to know.

Is a triad relationship the same as a long-term threesome? Or is it simply another case of good old polygamy? 

Despite what we’re about to find out, adding another party in a normal couple relationship is not going to be easy. 

If you think one partner gets complicated, imagine three different individuals each with their own personality and preferences all in a single relationship. It makes you wonder how these kinds of relationships manage to last long.

The truth is, triad relationships can last blissfully long if all parties involved have the proper understanding of the nature of a triad relationship. Because triad relationships are doubly complicated, it sure has a lot of physical and emotional benefits for all those involved!

[Read: What is polyamory – How it works and how it know if it’s worth trying]

What is triad relationship?

A triad relationship is a kind of physical and emotional relationship that involves three individuals. It is not considered cheating as all parties are aware that each of their partners is in a relationship with them. Triads cannot be compared to threesomes as threesomes are purely associated with sex.

This kind of relationship falls in the realm of polyamory, which is having a consensual romantic, physical, and emotional relationship with multiple people. So yes, a triad relationship is the basic form of polyamory. [Read: Non-monogamy and how to know if you and your partner are ready for it]

Is a triad relationship the same as an open relationship?

No, they’re not. An open relationship occurs between two people who have mutually agreed to be in a relationship with each other while simultaneously dating other people – separately. [Read: Open relationships and why so many couples find it perfect]

Here are a couple of examples for you to see the difference between an open relationship and a triad relationship.

John and Jane are in an open relationship. They have been together for ten years, and they are want to do something different but want to stay together. So, they agree to see other people on the side.

Maybe one Saturday, Jane will go out with a new guy, Bill. And John will go out with a new girl, Brittany. Bill and Brittany know that Jane and John are in a relationship, but they still date them. Bill and Brittany only interact one-on-one with Jane and John. [Read: 20 open relationship rules that you MUST know to give non-monogamy a try]

On the other hand, a triad relationship is different. In this scenario, Jane and John want to welcome a third person into their committed relationship – with the third being equally as committed to Jane and John. So, they invite Sarah to be a part of their triad relationship.

Do you see the difference? The first scenario of open relationships involves four people who don’t interact with each other. And the triads are only three people who all interact with each other equally.

Why would people want a triad relationship?

Even though a triad relationship isn’t the norm in most societies, it doesn’t mean that it’s “weird.” The answer to why someone would want to be in this kind of relationship is like asking why someone would want to be in any kind of romantic relationship. 

People in a triad want the same things – love, lust, stability, and commitment. The commitment part is really more like “consensual non-monogamy.” But all three people are committed to each other nonetheless.

The only real difference between a triad relationship and a traditional one is that all three people involved had a common openness to a nontraditional way to love and be loved in a relationship.

Here are some specific reasons that people express for wanting a triad relationship:

1. A couple has so much love that they want it to overflow and share it with another person.

2. They don’t feel like polyamory is a choice, but rather an orientation such as being gay, bisexual, or pansexual.

3. One person fell in love with two different people and wanted to have a relationship with both. And everyone involved agreed to the arrangement. [Read: How to decide on the best way forward when you’re in love with two people equally]

4. A friend of the couple became more of a sexual interest to one or both partners. So, they decided to include a third person in the relationship.

5. A couple just wanted to get kinky and add some spice to their relationship and sex life. Because of that, they found another person that they both emotionally connected with.

Questions to ask before getting into a triad relationship

It might sound intriguing to be in a committed relationship with two other people. However, before you enter into it, there are questions you need to ask yourself first. [Read: Love triangle – why it’s sexy, fun, painful and complicated all at once]

Here are some questions for the people who are in a committed two-person relationship who want to welcome a third person:

1. Is your relationship healthy enough to withstand this type of arrangement?

2. Do you have strong enough communication between the two of you?

3. Are you both very comfortable with the idea of a triad relationship – or just one of you?

4. Can you accept the changes that a third person will bring to your relationship?

5. Do you compare yourself to others – are you jealous and insecure?

6. Have the two of you talked about what your life would look like in a triad?

7. Are you capable of solving problems with a third person involved? 

[Read: Unicorn hunting – how to find a third sexual partner and do it right]

If you are single and want to get into a triad relationship, ask yourself these questions:

1. Are you physically and emotionally attracted to both people in the two-person relationship?

2. Are you aware of and comfortable with your boundaries?

3. Can you communicate your needs clearly to the other two people? 

Facts about a triad relationship

Now that you’ve asked yourself the most important questions, here’s everything you can expect when you’re in a triad relationship with two other lovers.

1. It’s not just about sex

Triad relationships don’t happen because a couple looks for a third wheel for threesome sex. Even though triads are unconventional, it is still a proper relationship.

Triad relationships are composed of three people who are mutually attracted to each person in the relationship. [Read: Could you be happy in a polyamorous relationship?]

2. Triad relationships require no sexual preference

Triad relationships can be straight, bisexual, or homosexual in nature. So from all three, you can get MMF, FFM, MMM, or FFF triad relationships.

3. Triad relationships are a three-way relationship

Most imagine a triad is simply a couple joined by a third wheel. However, this is not the case. There are no third wheels in a triad!

Each party in the relationship is mutually attracted to the other two, and they reciprocate the relationship likewise.

4. Triad relationships require some ground rules

Given the complex nature of triad relationships, it requires several established rules to make it work. The most basic and self-explanatory is to honor and respect the agreed rules so that all parties are comfortable and satisfied inside the relationship.

Some feel these rules are restrictive, but people in a triad relationship believe established rules allow them to manage different aspects of the relationship such as time, sex, finances, and their other activities. [Read: Three way relationship – How it works and why it isn’t an open invite to sleep around]

5. Open communication is a must

Everyone knows the importance of open communication in a healthy relationship between two people. A triad relationship is no exception. In fact, it requires all parties to maintain open communication with their partners.

Given its complicated nature, conflict and dissatisfaction is always a possibility. One way to resolve any issues is to communicate them with their partners. [Read: How to fix the issues of communication in a relationship]

6. Triad relationships should be inclusive to all partners

People in a triad relationship confess there are times one partner feels left out. After all, humans can generally pay attention to one, and you cannot fully divide your attention equally between two people.

For this reason, all partners in a triad relationship must always check the amount of attention each partner gives the others to make sure the relationship is inclusive to all involved. All decisions should be communicated and consented to by all those involved in the relationship.

7. Do all triads cohabitate?

Not everyone. Depending on the nature of the triad relationship they are in, as well as their personal circumstances, people in a triad relationship choose to cohabitate or live separately with their two partners. [Read: Non-monogamy – how to know if you and your partner are ready for it]

8. Polyamory isn’t that uncommon

Some researchers estimate that there might be between 1-3 million people practicing some form of non-monogamy. While that might not seem like a lot, it says that there are quite a lot of people who are interested in having a triad relationship.

9. It isn’t a new trend

It might seem like a triad relationship is trendy these days. But it is not. It has been practiced by a lot of tribes around the world and has even been written about in different spiritual texts.

While a lot of the societal acceptance of these types of relationships has faded, it’s certainly not a new invention.

10. Each person in the triad has different deal breakers

Each triad relationship – and person in the relationship – have their own boundaries. All people involved should have mutual agreements of what they are all comfortable with.

For example, what one might consider cheating, another one might not. So, what constitutes physical and emotional cheating is a conversation that needs to be had by everyone.

11. Sometimes people change their minds

Just because someone is involved with a triad relationship doesn’t mean that they will like it in the long run. Some people decide after a while that it’s not for them.

Maybe they just wanted to try it, but now prefer to go back to a monogamous relationship. People’s needs change over time. [Read: How to read the signs your friend wants to sleep with you and your partner]

12. It’s rooted in consent

What makes this non-monogamy relationship ethical is the fact that “affirmative consent” is at the root of it. Healthy triad relationships are able to communicate their needs effectively so that the relationship can work for all people involved. 

Benefits of a triad relationship

Some people might not think that being in a relationship with two other people sounds like a good idea. In fact, many people might think it’s just downright crazy. But there are a lot of great benefits to it as well, as long as everyone involved is emotionally mature and prepared to stay in love with the two other partners.

13. Sex will never be boring

As you may imagine, the prospect of better and more exciting sex is possible in a triad relationship. Threesomes are sure to happen, while everyone equally has the chance of sleeping with more than one person. [Read: The 25 best threesome positions that’ll keep all three partners extremely happy]

14. Stronger emotional support group

Another benefit of a triad relationship is the presence of a stronger support group in the event of problems or difficulties.

Having two people who love and care for you sure does make an individual feel more secure and optimistic in dealing with such difficulties.

15. Sharing of and responsibilities

If all three people in the triad relationship are living together, then they can all contribute toward paying the mortgage or rent where they live. They also help with other household expenses and responsibilities too. This can be a great help to all people involved.

Difficulties in triad relationships

It’s not all sunshine and rainbows, so let’s take a last look at the big difficulties of a triad relationship so you’re mentally prepared for it, if you ever decide to go ahead with the triad lifestyle.

16. Jealousy is a constant problem

Odd numbers in a relationship generate jealousy. Managing this jealousy can sometimes be difficult in a triad relationship.

It can’t be avoided if one partner feels the other goes out or sleeps with the other partner more than them. That’s why, as previously mentioned, open communication and inclusiveness should be practiced in a triad relationship.

17. Taking sides and favoritism 

Conflict is unavoidable even in normal couples. Having conflict in a triad relationship sometimes calls for the odd one out to take sides.

However, taking sides is discouraged in a triad relationship as it is seen as favoritism and incites further conflict and resentment.

As much as possible, conflict must be resolved as a triad and one partner might serve as a mediator to resolve the conflict. [Read: The 15 best ways to cut the drama and resolve conflict]

18. Raising a family

The ultimate difficulty in a triad relationship is when one or all partners decide to settle down and raise a family. There’s also the legal problem of parentage of children as current laws do not define the legal guardianship of children within a triad relationship.

Heterosexual parents, on the other hand, hold a biological basis as parents but adopted children of homosexual triads pose a serious problem. In any case, starting a family and raising kids is an issue that the partners should discuss carefully amongst themselves before committing.

[Read: Throuple relationship – 27 rules and secrets to a happy romantic trio]

Triad relationships are a lot of hard work. Time, attention, sex, and commitment should be distributed equally in order for the relationship to remain healthy. But despite the difficulties, triad relationships have their own rewards. After all, the more, the merrier!