To Cheat or Not to Cheat? A Guide to Make Up Your Mind

Temptations are all around us, and it’s easy to have a sneaky moment without getting caught. To cheat or not to cheat, we’ve heard that before. But what should you really do?

To cheat or not to cheat, that is a pretty big question. But as a matter of fact, it’s not a question at all. It’s a nagging thought that crawls into your conscience each time you’re presented with an opportunity to get into someone else’s bed.

So should you cheat? Or should you just resist the temptation?

Understanding the temptation

You know the answer already. Don’t cheat! Period.

But I’m not going to preach those same words. Cheat if you must. Don’t cheat if you can. At the end of the day, it’s you that has to weigh the balance and understand the real difference. [Read: Why do people in happy relationships still cheat?]

Firstly, I’m going to ask you a question. Have you ever cheated on your lover? If you haven’t, you should know that once you do cheat without getting caught, you’ll never really be able to forget about it.

You may be able to put the thought away, but it’ll always haunt you for as long as you stay in the relationship. And if you’ve cheated already, you’ve been there and done that. How do you feel about it now?

Cheating is fun and easy

To cheat or not to cheat, well, that isn’t really the question anymore. We all know it, cheating is fun and such a sexy rush. With the hectic lives that we lead these days, it’s really easy to cheat or have an affair and get away with it forever.

If you’ve been texting naughty or flirting with someone outside the relationship for a while, and the flirting turns to petting and phone sex, it’s only a matter of time before hands start slipping inside each other’s pants. [Read: What does sexual attraction feel like? How to know exactly]

And when it does happen, I can assure you, the sex would be one of the best you’ve ever had in your life. And just watching your sexual fantasy undress itself in front of your eyes is… awesome!

And the best part, you get away with it all. You have the sexy cake and eat it too!

Falling in love with someone else

Some affairs are purely sexual and some, well, they can get rather complicated. It all starts with a bit of flirting and long conversations. And then you genuinely start to believe you’re in love with someone else.

If you do cheat and get into their bed or even exchange a kiss, it may remind you of everything that’s missing in your own relationship, the affection, the weak knees, and all those happy feelings. But we won’t get into it here. You can read about falling in love with two people here.

To cheat…

We don’t have to get into all the sordid details, but let’s admit it, cheating is fun. And more than cheating, the sexual attraction that builds up before you actually do anything with your sneaky lover is all the more fun.

With all the happy lights flowing out of every orifice of cheating, cheating on a partner seems like a fun thing to do. I could even tell you to go for it and have a blast, and just don’t get caught! [Confession: I cheated on my boyfriend and feel so much better]

But now is where we look at the other side of this happy story on cheating.

It ends with an orgasm

In almost all cases, you cheat because of the sexual excitement. You just want to do it. You and your secret lover may have worked out the perfect time and place, or it may just be a spur of the moment thing, and finally you find yourself in bed, naked and sweaty, and so full of passion it makes you go blind with horniness.

It may feel really good, but it will end. Just as soon as you orgasm.

You may have spent months building the excitement up, but as soon as you orgasm, it’ll all come to a grinding halt.

And if you do love your partner, whether you want to or not, you’re going to remember your partner just moments after reaching for the sky in ecstasy. And it’s not always a happy thought. In almost all cases, you’ll be consumed with an overwhelming sense of guilt even if you push that thought away. [Read: Should you really feel guilty about cheating on your partner?]

Is it worth it?

To cheat or not to cheat? There’s only one answer to that question. You do want to cheat.

Cheating on a partner gives you a high that a drug addiction may give you. You’ll hate it as soon as you do it. But a day or two later, you’d want it again. There’s no escaping out of an affair, unless one of you start to get bored or lose the sexual infatuation.

Cheat if you must, but try this. The next time you feel a desperate need to sleep with someone else, play with yourself and let yourself loose in your world of sexual fantasies. And once you’re all done orgasming and climaxing, sit up and ask yourself if you still want to cheat on your loving partner.

It’s such a little thing, an orgasm, and you’re willing to throw your loving relationship of years away just to experience an orgasm with someone else. Is it really worth it? You decide. [Read: Tempted to cheat? 15 reasons why staying faithful is so hard]

…or not to cheat

Cheating on a partner and getting away is easy if you’re smart enough. But that memory of cheating will always exist in your mind. And almost all cheaters say the same thing… if only I could turn back time.

It may seem like fun, but once it’s all done and a few months have passed by, you’ll feel stupid about it even if you aren’t caught. And every time you think about it, you’ll realize how much happiness you could have gotten out of your own relationship if you could have devoted the same time on your own partner. [Read: How to end an affair and get over them even if you still love them]

How would you feel if your partner were in your shoes?

Now I’m not trying to take you on a guilt trip, but you need to think about it all before you make up your mind on cheating. How would you feel if you found out that your partner has been cheating on you?

How angry and disgusted would you feel if you could hear those words that are exchanged in the heat of the lusty moment? Would you ever forgive your partner or forget the words they spoke?

What would happen if you get caught?

You may have been careful to erase all the signs of the affair. No late night texts, no phone calls in the evening, no social media messages, meet only at lunch hours, and all the works.

But luck is fickle. And somehow, your partner may get to know that you cheated on them. How would they react? Your relationship may end for ever, and even if it doesn’t end, it’ll never ever be the same unless a miracle holds both of you together. Is it worth it?

Before you cheat on your partner, ask yourself if you’re ready to lose your relationship for an orgasm. [Read: Should you confess to cheating?]

Cheating without cheating – The middle path

Now this may leave you more confused than ever. But the answer is simple. If you value your relationship, don’t cheat. Those few minutes of sex and orgasms are just not worth it.

If you do want to bring more pleasure and fun into your sex life, look for ways to keep the relationship exciting.

Fantasize together

If you and your partner trust each other, learn to be honest about each other’s sexual interests and talk about it while having sex. Talk about your fantasies even if it involves another person. It’ll help you get over the infatuation and bring both of you closer too. [Read: How to talk about another person in bed]

Have an open relationship

You may be high school sweethearts and have always been in love. Now, ten or twenty years later, both of you may want more “opportunities” in bed. It may be the inquisitiveness or you may just want more fun. Speak to each other and look for ways to keep the relationship together, while having fun outside the relationship. [Read: The open relationships guide]

[Read: How to start swinging and threesome sex]

End the relationship

Sexual frustration and the urge to cheat on a lover can at times ruin perfectly happy relationships. If you see no way to keep the love alive, then end the relationship instead of cheating and breaking your partner’s heart. Make up your mind on the way forward and stick with your decision.

Should you cheat or not cheat? Avoid cheating and look for ways to bring that excitement into your own relationship in a manner that can keep both of you happy.

If you want a second opinion, cheat if it’s spontaneous, avoid it if it’s planned.

[Read: How to forgive yourself for cheating and stop beating yourself up]

To cheat or not to cheat? Well, you know your options. Think about it and make up your own mind. But always remember to consider what you’d gain and what you’d lose before jumping into another bed.