Things to Say to Your Ex: 15 Nicest & Meanest That Top the List

Whether it’s something nice or mean, unsaid words at the end of a relationship can fester. Want to move on? Here are the best things to say to your ex.

At the end of every relationship, there is always something you wish you’d said. You usually think about it after an argument, or after the door has been slammed shut for the last time. The nice or mean things to say to your ex don’t always come to you immediately. Sometimes, it can come weeks later. The thing is, until you say it, you don’t have closure. 

These unsaid words can be loving words, or something you just want them to know, so they can move on with the future relationships they’ll have in their life. Other times, it’s something scathing and bitter, wishing for them to realize how they made you feel. Or it can be something humorous, simply because it’s in your head and you want it out in the open. Whatever it is, my advice is to say it, provided it isn’t designed to cause hurt and destruction. 

A while ago there was a trending hashtag on Twitter, #notetomyex. It showed a few interesting things that men and women wish they had said, or things they thought of after the end of the union. You might have seen it. It probably got you thinking. It certainly got me thinking. So, in the interests of fun and closure, let’s check out the best nice and mean things to say to your ex before you close the door and move on to the next phase of your dating life.  

Oh, and if you ever bump into your ex, you better be prepared with the classiest and awesomest moves ever! Check out this guide on how to behave when you bump into your ex and feel really proud of yourself!

15 things to say to your ex before it’s too late

Before we move on with our list, bear in mind that the reasons for wanting to say something to your ex can be pretty wide-reaching. For instance, you might want to make them feel better, you might want to apologize, you might want to hurt them.

Now, we don’t advocate hurting someone, you should always be the better person, but how many of you have wanted to just throw out one scathing remark to close the door for good? For that reason, this list is a mixture of happy, sad, funny, and downright cutting remarks!

[Read: How to get over being dumped and find the closure to move on]

1. “Thank you for the memories, and for showing me what I don’t want in a man/woman”

I think most of us have thought this, and if you want to say it, go for it! It’s not unkind to say ‘okay, thanks for the good times, but you’re not for me’. It also shows that you’re strong enough to know what you deserve. The ultimate closure line in my eyes! [Read: 20 questions to ask your ex after a breakup to heal and find closure]

2. “Weeeee are never, ever, ever, getting back together”

Sing it in the tone of Taylor Swift and see how good it feels! Okay, so it’s a little childish, but so what! If your ex hurt you and then tries to get you back, sing it loud and sing it proud. 

3. “It was your loss”

On the list of things to say to your ex, this is one which most people wish they had uttered. When a relationship ends, it’s easy to blame yourself, in fact most of us do. The thing is, as the dust settles and we start to see things more clearly, we realize that someone who hurt us is only fooling themselves. In that case, the only person who lost someone is them, not you. You gained. [Read: How to behave during a breakup and leave with your head held high]

4. “I faked it”

Oh come on, you want to say it, you know you do! Whether it’s true or not, it’s the ultimate cut down, for sure. 

5. “Thank you for setting me free”

I was in a long-term relationship and towards the end, I felt trapped. I felt as though he was holding me back, and I wanted to go out and do so many things but couldn’t. Once the relationship was over, I felt that sense of freedom, so I uttered these words. 

6. “I hope you treat them better”

Sadly, many of us have been cheated on. It’s a terrible feeling, one which makes you want to run away and hide. The hurt is so acute, but it eases, doesn’t it? Eventually you see more pragmatically. You also know that if they cheated on you, they’re likely to do it again. 

7. “Maybe we’ll be together in the end”

Not all relationships end badly, and sometimes they end because it just isn’t the right time to continue. If that’s the case, it can be hard to deal with. You want to be together, it’s just not working right now. This is one of the perfect things to say to your ex in this situation. [Read: How to stop loving someone and read the signs it’s time to walk away]

8. “You know what I realized? It wasn’t my fault, you’re just a narcissist”

Many men and women have been terrorized by a narcissistic relationship. You’re left feeling that everything is your fault, and in the end you don’t even trust yourself to make a decision. When the fog clears and you finally make the brave decision to leave, these are the perfect things to say to your ex. The problem? If they are a true narcissist, they probably won’t care. [Read: How to leave a narcissist and free yourself from their web of control]

9. “Thank you for the lessons, I am now happier, and I hope you are too”

This is the single best thing to say and come out as the bigger person. We all make mistakes in relationships, we all learn things about ourselves and other people. These lessons make us stronger in the end and we learn from them. These words bid your ex a final goodbye, with no animosity left to give. [Read: How to let go of someone you love with absolutely no bitterness]

10. “I’m sorry”

If you made a mistake, if you upset someone or caused them hurt, the single best thing you can say at the time, and afterwards, consists of these three words. This is the single best thing to say to your ex if it ended badly on your part. Say it and move on. Forgive yourself at the same time.  

11. “I will always look back on our time together fondly, but I think we made the right decision”

This is another thing to say to your ex if it ended for no reason other than timing or because things were simply not working out in general. These types of endings are often more painful, because there’s no specific event to pin it to. In this case, acknowledge the end and allow the both of you to move on. 

12. “I hope you find happiness”

Saying something positive to a person who hurt you, or who you are no longer with for whatever reason, can be tough. The thing is, in order to grow, you need to swallow your pride and say it. You’ll feel better for it. Wish them well, wish them happiness, and then close the door. 

13. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” 

After all, it’s the truth, right? When you split up with someone you love, it can feel like the world has ended. You have no idea how you’re going to ever feel right again. But, as the dust settles you do feel right again, and you realize you’re stronger. A life lesson indeed! [Read: How to find yourself again after a seriously low point in life]

14. “One day, when you’re hugging your daughter because some guy hurt her feelings, I hope you realize what a coward you were”

Oh, I said this one! It felt good too, because it was true. If you’re a guy, you can flip this around and change the wording to suit, but for me, I wanted to highlight that point to him that the hurt you cause someone could be the hurt your mother, daughter, sister is feeling because of a guy’s actions. It really hits home too. 

15. “Thank you, next!”

We have Ariana Grande to thank for this one! Harsh but fair, right?

[Read: 20 questions to ask your ex after a breakup to heal and find closure]

What do you think about these things to say to your ex? Do you have any others to add to the list? Do you feel any of them were too harsh or too soft? At the end of the day, it depends on the situation, but no matter how it ended, saying those unspoken words and closing the door is always the best medicine. 

Want to go one step further and transform yourself too? Read these next:

25 must-know tips to end a relationship without making it messy

The 9 stages of a long term relationship break up you WILL experience

How to come out of a relationship stronger than ever when it ends