The Big Signs You’re Simping and How to Change Your Needy Behavior

When trying to attract a partner, are you entertaining, or do you fawn to get attention? Check out these signs you’re simping and change your behavior!

If you’ve visited TikTok or any social media recently, you might have heard the new phrase on the block – simp or simping. Do know the signs you’re simping?

Phrases attached to the dating world come and go, so it’s normal not to pay too much attention. But simping doesn’t seem to be going anywhere anytime soon. So, as much as we might not want to, it’s a good idea to figure out what it all means. Then, if it actually connects with you, you can do something about it.

What is simping?

Simping is the behavior is which a person tries excessively hard and does way too much to impress someone. In most cases, simps almost give up their self-respect entirely just to make a particular person fall for them.

To make it easier to understand, a simp is someone who attracts a partner not by focusing on themselves and being an entertaining type, but by faking niceness, attentiveness, and regularly uses fawning behavior. This is done usually to get that person into bed. Pretty shady, right?

[Read: What is a simp? Meet Gen Z’s version of the nice guy]

Well, yes, but there’s another side to it as well. While a genuine simp does all of this without really caring about the feelings of the person they’re attempting to “woo,” certain users of the Internet have used the phrase to label genuine nice people.

So, a person could be ultra-nice and do whatever they can for the person they’re attempting to attract and woo. While they don’t think they’re doing it with malicious reasons in mind, they’re not sure, and that means they’re simping.

Does that make sense?

Let’s break it down with some clear signs you’re simping then see if any modifications to your own behavior needs to be made.

[Read: How to become a better person and evolve everyday]

The biggest signs you’re simping

I do not condone the idea of malicious simping. If you’re desperate to bed someone that much, you really don’t have to put that much effort in – just be straight with them!

However, attempting to attract a partner by being super-nice and attentive, just to get them into bed, is pretty low. By doing this you’re hoping that at some point, in the not so distant future, this person will give in and give you what you want, purely because you’ve either manipulated them into thinking you’re perfect, or they feel somehow sorry for you.

Not the greatest basis for a relationship, is it?

You’re giving a part of you with the intention of getting something back. You’re not doing it because you’re genuinely interested in that person or that you want to get to know them and see what happens. You’re undermining your own dignity and you’re showing no respect to the other person.

[Read: Higher standards: Why going low only brings lousy relationships]

Anyway, my personal feelings about simping aside, let’s check out a few signs you’re simping so you can identify once and for all whether you might be embodying these traits.

#1 Chasing someone that clearly doesn’t want you and doing everything you can for them. Firstly, where’s your pride? Secondly, if you’re doing this, it’s one of the signs you’re simping. Why? Because if someone doesn’t want to spend time with you, why are you doing everything for them?

In this case, you’re trying to get them to feel sorry for you and then boom! You get what you want. They fall into bed with you. However, by doing this, you’re not being genuine, and you’re wasting your time. There are plenty of people out there who will spend time with you willingly, for you, and not because you’re acting. [Read: How to stop being a nice guy who’s slowly turning into a doormat]

#2 Always trying to do everything to impress. You’re never just yourself. You’re always trying to impress everyone around you, but you do it in a way which tries to attract pity. It’s wet. To be honest, it’s a little pathetic.

As one of the signs you’re simping, always trying to impress people means that you’re basically casting your net as wide as possible and hoping someone falls into it. [Read: When you like someone, do you lose yourself to impress?]

#3 Putting yourself last. I don’t advocate putting yourself last because you’re denying your own needs. Sure, there are some situations in life where you should think of others and put their needs a little before your own, but if you’re doing it constantly you have to ask yourself why.

It shows low self-esteem, and you need to focus on building that up and finding someone who wants to be around you for the person you are, rather than pretending to be something you’re not. Focusing on everyone else just means that you’re suffering, and nothing else. [Read: The 20 most common signs of a people pleaser most people just don’t realize]

#4 You have a pretty poor dating history. Okay, this one might not be your fault, but look at patterns of behavior.

Do you always fall into the same trap? Or do you always end up doing everything for someone only to end up left behind? Do you regularly impress the life out of someone, only to get what you want and then move on perhaps? These are all signs you’re simping, and it is simply poor form.

You can’t help a bad dating history, but you can change what you do from this point onwards. And, you know what? Being strong and yourself is actually quite attractive! [Read: Why am I so insecure? 20 reasons why you care more than others]

#5 You let people walk all over you. This particular sign is only in the dating spectrum. Do you regularly let people you’re trying to attract walk all over you and let them say and do whatever and you don’t respond?

Again, hello? Where is your dignity? Letting someone walk all over you is not going to build a strong relationship, but if you’re a true simp, that’s not really what you want, is it? [Read: How to date when you have low self-esteem and find true happiness]

It’s time to change

If you’re nodding along to these signs you’re simping, then something has to change. Firstly, you might think I’ve been a little harsh. I don’t intend to be, but when someone acts falsely in order to get someone into bed or into a fake relationship, it’s not cool.

It’s also entirely possible that you have no idea that you’re exhibiting these signs you’re simping until just now. In that case, it’s time to make a change. If you genuinely want to spend more time with someone, just be yourself and show genuine attentiveness to them.

At the same time, see your friends. Make time to spend time doing the things you love and have some respect for yourself. You don’t have to do everything for another person to make them want you.

[Read: How to be likeable without a lot of effort or changing who you are]

Don’t focus on relationships or hook ups that are based on pity or guilt. It’s not going to last. Even if you’re not looking for a long-lasting deal, it’s far more effective to actually tell someone straight what you want and see if they want the same! You never know, maybe they do.

These signs you’re simping should act as a wakeup call. Obviously, falling into a category designed by TikTok isn’t something to be proud of. But, if it helps you to open your eyes and see the error of your ways, intentional or not, it’s a good thing. This is not a way to build a lasting relationship, and it’s not something which is going to make people want to spend time around you. Remember, word gets around!

While the whole concept of simping is pretty confusing for many, the general basis is that it’s manipulation. You’re acting in a way which isn’t true to who you are, just because you want to get that person, mostly, into bed. If your intentions aren’t quite so negative, you still should question your intentions. Ask why you need to be so subservient to potential partners.

[Read: Can you manipulate someone to fall in love with you?]

These signs you’re simping should be used as a wakeup call. Either relationship or hook up, it should be based upon authenticity. Simping simply isn’t that.