Taking a Break from Dating: How it Works, 37 Signs & Ways to Do This Right

Taking a break from dating can be a good thing. Ironically, when you do this, it’s usually the time you find someone you actually want to date!

Finding “the one” can be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. You’ll date a lot of people and even end up with a broken heart a few times in the process. But in order to make finding that special someone easier, taking a break from dating is something to think about.

How can you find your special love if you’re not even dating, you ask? Well, there’s no simple answer to that. But dating can be so overwhelming sometimes that a break is what you need to recharge your batteries. [Read: Top worst mistakes couples make when dating]

The big reasons to take a break from dating

Getting out of the dating game is probably not something you’ve ever thought of when it comes to finding your life partner. But it’s definitely something you should think about now.

Sometimes, focusing on yourself is essential. After all, you need time to think about what you really want and heal from a cycle of dating heartbreak. [Read: 42 signs you’re not ready for a serious relationship and how to let them know]

1. You stop looking

When you’re trying to find the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with, you’re constantly looking. This is especially true for those of us surrounded by people getting engaged and married.

You see everyone else happy and you’re determined to feel the same. So you look at every single person you meet as a potential spouse.

This may seem okay, but it blinds you to the truth about that person. When you’re not dating, you stop looking and allow someone’s unique personality and characteristics to shine through.

2. You get to know yourself better

This is probably the most important reason taking a break from dating can help you find the one. You learn who you are. This is something many people think they know, but actually don’t.

When you’re constantly dating, you’re always molding yourself to fit someone else’s needs. You lose sight of who you truly are. When you stop dating, you’re allowing yourself to get back to your roots. And that will attract the RIGHT person for you.

[Read: 57 simple life questions to get to know yourself and truths to visualize your future]

3. You find out exactly what you want

You may think you have an idea of the perfect person for you, but that image is probably skewed by the people you’ve been with thus far.

And how did those relationships work out? When you get out of the dating game, you learn what’s missing in your life. This helps you determine what characteristics you really love and appreciate in a partner.

4. You prepare yourself to open up to someone new

If you’re constantly in a relationship, you completely take yourself off the market. This causes you to turn down dates with people who might be a better match.

So taking a break from dating will keep you available for when the right person does come along. You’ll have no reservations about saying yes and getting to know them—so long as you weren’t out there “looking” for them again. [Read: Tired of being single AF – 51 signs and the dating goals and habits you need]

5. A break from sex can defog your mind

Sex can really mess with our minds. We sometimes think that physical attraction can overwrite any other kind. And when you’re always dating someone and getting some action, your thinking is clouded.

So taking yourself out of the dating game and also not sleeping with anyone helps you see people for who they really are—not for how they make you feel in bed.

6. You focus on building your own life

You know what’s more important than finding a life partner? Building your own life. Building a life you’re proud of and you’re happy to live.

You can’t expect to be happy in a relationship if you’re so unhappy with everything else. [Read: 70 true secrets to happiness to have a happy life and enjoy everything you do]

7. You’ll learn new ways to love

Romantic love isn’t the only type of love out there and you need all of the types to make a relationship last. Taking a break from dating can help you learn new ways to love that can only help when you meet that special someone.

You’ll learn how to love someone like a friend, how to have family love, and even how to love yourself. All of these are important in any successful relationship.

8. You find love when you’re not looking for it

Have you ever heard the saying, “a watched pot never boils?” Well, this is exactly the mentality behind taking a break from dating.

When you’re not obsessed with finding love, love will eventually just find you. But if you’re so focused on it, you might actually miss it when it comes and hits you right in the face. [Read: When will I find love? 25 secrets that WILL help you find the one]

9. You’ll find the clarity to learn from your mistakes

When you step away from love and relationships, you can see things more clearly. You’ll be able to figure out what went wrong in your past relationships and this can help you fix those things in yourself.

You may need to work on a few things before you can really be happy with someone else. If you don’t have someone clouding your perception with their ideas and their opinions, you’ll be able to see yourself clearly for who you are in a relationship.

10. You learn what love really is

You may not have a clue what love truly is because you’re bouncing from relationship to relationship. However, if you take a break from dating and step back from all of it, you can see if you truly have ever even felt love.

You may be surprised to learn that you have no idea what true love feels like. It may not be something you’ve ever experienced but you might not be able to know that without separating yourself from a partner. [Read: The types of love you’ll experience in your life]

11. You discover new possibilities

Not only in your dating life but in your general life too. When you’re not totally focused on trying to find “the one,” you’ll see everything that is around you, and who knows where all of that might lead?

Ironically, you might realize that there are more options around you than you thought.

12. You discover the difference between being alone and being lonely

Many people confuse these two things, but it’s entirely possible to be happy and be alone. Being lonely is an entirely different thing—you can find peace and happiness in your own company but if you hate it, you’ll feel lonely.

Learn to fill your time with fun things and focus on yourself. You’ll soon realize that you’re a lot of fun to spend your own time with! [Read: Alone time – why you need it, how it helps, and how to make the most of it]

13. You learn to love yourself

All of the points we’ve talked about so far add up to one thing: you learn to love yourself for the amazing person you are. When you do that, you’re able to be a much better partner to the right one who comes along.

You know what they say—you can’t love someone else if you’re not in love with who you are first.

14. You don’t distract yourself with dating

Let’s be honest, dating can be a really time-consuming process! It doesn’t only occupy time either, it occupies major brain space!

Taking a break from dating will allow you to chill out a little and find what you’re really looking for. [Read: Dating anxiety – what it is, 39 causes of panic, and signs and steps to get over it]

The signs you need a break from dating

Now you know what taking a break from dating can do for you, how do you know that it’s time for you to follow this advice and give it a break?

Well, these signs should give you a nudge in the right direction.

1. You’re not getting any sleep

If you’re constantly tired because you’re always out on dates, it’s really time to stop and chill a little!

Heading for burnout from dating really isn’t all that uncommon but it’s certainly a sign that you might need to take a break for a while. [Read: How to use Tinder – 28 Tinder tips, tricks, and secrets to get you all the matches]

2. Dating feels like a chore or a job

Dating is supposed to be fun! If it’s started to feel like a chore or you get the feeling that you’re going to work all over again, it’s really time to stop and assess your approach.

3. You have zero focus on your offline life

If your entire life has become about dating apps and sites, it’s time to stop for a while. It’s vital to balance your life while dating and not to put all your energy in one place.

4. You’ve turned into a detective

Do you spend half your time searching online dating sites or social media to find information on the person you’re about to go on a date with? Seriously, stop and take a breath! [Read: Being sneaky in a relationship – is it really such a bad thing?]

5. You’ve lost faith in the process

This is definitely one of the biggest signs you need to think about taking a break from dating. If you’ve lost faith in the whole process then you need to recharge and find enjoyment in it again. Otherwise, it becomes a chore.

6. You don’t need to be interested in anyone

This is a big red flag. If you reach this point, dating has become a game and it doesn’t have any real purpose anymore.

You’re supposed to have a genuine interest in a person you’re dating—it isn’t supposed to be a game you’re trying to win.

7. You’re taking things a little too personally

The dating world has its knockbacks and sometimes it hurts. But if you’re taking every small thing to heart and feeling like it’s personal, you need to take a break. You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, just like they can’t be yours. [Read: How to be relaxed on a date and confidently feel like yourself]

8. You’re questioning your self-worth

When you’ve had a few bad dating experiences, you might find that you start questioning your self-worth. When that happens, you need to put on the brakes, take some time for yourself, and remember how amazing you are.

9. You’re not over your ex

If you’re still pining for your ex, you’re not going to be able to fully immerse yourself in the dating experience. You’ll always have half your mind elsewhere.

Take the time to get over the past before moving forward. [Read: Still in love with your ex – 19 ways to accept it is normal and let go of the past]

10. You’re doing it for someone other than yourself

The only reason you should be dating is because you want to, not because someone has told you to.

If you find that’s your primary motivation, you’ll become jaded with the whole experience. Take a break and don’t start again until it’s something YOU want to do.

11. You’re overwhelmed by options

Well, firstly, lucky you! But secondly, if this is the case, you need to take a break for a while. It’s just going to lead to dating burnout, and yes, that’s a real thing! [Read: Dating multiple people – the stress-free way to have fun doing it]

How to take a break from dating: The healthy ways forward

Not all breaks are bad. Sometimes you just need that time to breathe and check in with yourself. So, if you want to take a break from dating, this is how to do it:

1. Out with the old

Go through your phone, social media, and dating apps, and just get rid of people you dated in the past. Do you really need to be in contact with them? You know they weren’t for you, so why keep them around?

Do a full cleanse and get rid of your past. [Read: Things about being single that people fear the most]

2. Learn to be happy with yourself

We all want to find someone so we’re not lonely, but that’s the wrong mindset. You’re not lonely—you have yourself. You’re interesting, funny, and confident.

What you’re looking for is someone to share your experiences with, but it’s not out of fear of being alone. [Read: How to not feel lonely and chase your lonely blues away]

3. Take yourself out on a date

You removed your past from your life, and now it’s time to invest your time in the most important person: you. Don’t be afraid to treat yourself and give yourself the attention you deserve.

If you want to build your confidence, treat yourself the way you want to be treated. Get all dolled up and take yourself out for dinner.

4. Decide how long you want this break to last

How long do you want to go on a break? One month? Half a year? You decide. Of course, things may change, and you may want to increase or decrease your break. It’s all up to you.

But give yourself a timeline. This will help to keep you focused on what you need to think about. [Read: Sense of self – what it is, 36 signs, tips and steps to raise it and feel great]

5. Create a routine for yourself

When you wake up in the morning, what do you do? Create a routine for yourself. Whether you decide to grab a coffee and read, workout, or meditate, create a healthy morning routine that’ll help start your day on a positive note. [Read: How to stop self-destructive behavior and change your life for good]

6. What do you want?

This is a great time to explore this question. What do you want out of your life? What are you looking for? Most of us don’t ask ourselves this question.

Instead, we just go along with what everyone else is doing. But, you need to decide what you really want out of your life.

7. Reassess the type of person you want as a partner

Now that you’re on a dating break ask yourself what type of partner you want. Who do you want them to be? What qualities should they have?

Now that you’re out of the dating scene, you’ll have time to self-reflect on your dating experiences and help you answer this question.

[Read: 20 types of lovers and relationships you’ll come across in the dating world]

8. Expand your social circle

We’ve become a little hermit-like over the past couple of years. Though dating apps have helped us meet people, they’ve also disconnected us from one another. It’s time you said yes to more social engagements and met new people.

Make new friendships, and who knows where they’ll go?

9. Do things you always wanted to do

If you’ve always wanted to go scuba diving, now’s the time! You’re going to be saving yourself some money from going on all those dates, so invest your dollars in activities that make you happy.

Explore and try new things. Who knows, you just may come across a new hobby. [Read: What are you passionate about? How to find and own your desires]

10. Go through your emotional baggage

You may not have cleared up the skeletons in your closet, which could prevent you from finding the partner you want. Instead, you keep meeting people who are like your ex, for example.

Now’s the time to sit with yourself and go through your past, cleaning it up. [Read: Emotional baggage – what it is, types, causes, 27 signs and steps to put it down]

11. Talk to a professional

If you’re struggling to meet someone you connect with or have had a traumatizing experience in your past relationships, talk to a professional about it. They’ll be able to help you process things and move on.

12. Get yourself a sex toy

You’re taking a break from dating, right? So, you’ll need something to help you scratch that itch when the time comes. Find a sex toy that works for you.

You’ll be shocked at the confidence and satisfaction you’ll feel once you can control your own sexual pleasure. [Read: 41 self-pleasure secrets to give yourself an orgasm and have sex with yourself]

Take a break and reset

We know that dating is supposed to be fun, but much of the time it’s a rollercoaster of emotions that drag you from one side of the spectrum to another.

If you notice that you’re starting to become tired or stressed with the whole situation, taking a break from dating could be just what you need.

Time for yourself is never a bad thing, and who knows, maybe it will actually lead you toward what you’re trying to find in the first place!

[Read: What is true love? 58 signs and ways to tell if what you’re feeling is real]

It may seem strange to say, but taking a break from dating can actually bring you a step closer to finding that special someone. Give it a try!