Should I Give Up On Him? 25 Signs He Won’t Change or Be a Good Fit

If you are asking yourself, “should I give up on him?” that is already a bad sign. But just to be sure, you should know the signs of when you should call it quits and move on.

If you frequently ask yourself, “should I give up on him?” we have some good and bad news. The good news is that you still have feelings for him that run deep. The bad news is that you still have feelings for him that run deep.

Sometimes we can be in love with people who aren’t good for us. You can love someone deeply even if they aren’t good for you or if they never give you what you need to feel loved and fulfilled.

When to give up on a relationship with a guy

If you’re asking the question, “should I give up on him?” then you probably already know the answer. If you were happy and in love, this question wouldn’t even enter your mind. You would be satisfied and content, and you would have zero desire to break up with him.

With that said, there is no set timeline for when to give up on a guy. Every relationship is different, so you ultimately have to follow your own intuition. So, if you’re still wondering what the signs are that you should break it off, here is what you should consider.

Should I give up on him? 25 signs it’s time to move on

Let us preface all that comes after this by saying there is no such thing as a perfect man. As hard as it is for all girls to accept, no one is perfect. But, there comes the point where you aren’t just overlooking minor irritants.

If you feel you sacrifice something critical in your life or one of your needs for someone else, it might be love, but that doesn’t make it right.

We all go through peaks and valleys in our relationships. If the valleys are harder to climb out of and the peaks aren’t all that high, you must stop and ask yourself why you stay. Like a net equation, the good times should outweigh the bad, or it isn’t worth wasting your life away.

1. You keep praying he will change

If you keep praying that things will change between the two of you, then what you are really doing is praying that he will change. There is one thing that we absolutely know is true in this world.

It is that the only person you can change is yourself. If he isn’t what you want or need, or doesn’t supply you with what you need to feel whole, he never will. [Read: Selfish people – 15 ways to spot and stop them from hurting you]

2. He simply can’t give you what you need

Sometimes, the hardest thing to realize is someone you love isn’t what you need and never will be. If you invest in someone, it sometimes seems selfish to want more than what they provide.

The problem is that you only get one go-around in this lifetime. Don’t spend it regretting not being with someone who doesn’t make your life happy and fulfilled.

3. You have a voice in your head telling you something isn’t right

That little voice in our head’s a bitch, yep! But, you know what else she is? She is almost always honest. As much as you might hate to come to terms with what your head tells you because your heart says differently, the inner voice is always right.

It is your soul telling you that something isn’t the way it should be. [Read: 20 right reasons for walking away from someone you love]

4. You have to beg for love and attention

If you beg for his love and attention, then you deserve better. You should never have to beg for someone to adore and treat you with the respect you deserve. Make no mistake, if someone ignores you or pays you not an ounce of attention, that is a lack of respect.

You don’t want to go through life with someone who doesn’t think the world of you and you shouldn’t. That would be settling.

5. You have very different goals in life

If he hits the corporate ladder running and wants to spend his life without kids and traveling, stop thinking he will change his mind once he knows what you want. If you want to stay put and have the picket fence, then maybe you just aren’t the right fit.

It isn’t fair of you to want him to give up on his life’s goals. But it also isn’t fair on you to give up on your own. So, if they just don’t meld, then it isn’t giving up. It is realistic and saves you from a lifetime of arguing and heartbreak.

6. You fight about the same things over and over

If you fight about the same things now as you did ten years ago, then you aren’t ever going to stop fighting about them. There are just some things in relationships that can’t be reconciled.

If you tried to meet him halfway and he won’t budge, or you can’t forgive him for something even though you tried, it is time to let go and move on. It is okay to finally say, “I just can’t do this anymore.” [Read: The biggest secrets of a love-hate relationship]

7. He won’t talk things through with you

You can’t have a relationship with someone who won’t talk to you or communicate. If he thinks that talking through problems is irritating, runs from you or any conflict, or simply can’t sit down and have a civil conversation about problems in your life, you aren’t going to be able to have a peaceful union.

An unreasonable person will always be unreasonable. They run, and you chase them forever. Maybe don’t think about it as giving up but just stop chasing. [Read: All the reasons why chasing a guy never helps]

8. You feel depressed and lonely

If you feel depressed and lonely all the time, then you have to let go and move on. There is nothing worse than feeling alone, besides feeling lonely with someone.

At a certain point, ask yourself whether you are better with or without him. What is it exactly that he does besides making you feel stuck and continually waiting for him to step up and be the person you need him to be?

9. No matter what you say or do, nothing ever gets better

No matter what you say or do, things never get solved. You know why? Because he doesn’t want them to.

If you have a guy who says things like, “I just don’t want to fight” but runs from you, bottoms you out by shutting you out, or continually does the very things he knows will hurt the most, then it is intentional.

It isn’t that he doesn’t know how you feel; he just doesn’t care. Don’t sit around waiting for someone who doesn’t care about you.

10. There is no “I” in this team

If he wants his life to remain his life, that isn’t going to change. He might have learned through his parent’s relationship to keep secrets and live separate lives, but in reality, this kind of relationship makes your life hell.

If you have been together and he still keeps everything to himself, that isn’t going to change.

11. He is selfish

Selfish people don’t change. If you wait for him to grow up and act mature, but have been waiting for a very long time, then it isn’t maturity. It is a selfish man. You can’t have a relationship with someone who only has himself in mind. You won’t ever exist. [Read: 22 early warning signs of a really bad boyfriend]

12. You find yourself always giving up what you want for what he wants

Trust us on this one, if you make sacrifices now, you always will. The reason you give in and give up is that you learned to. That isn’t going to change.

Things aren’t going to get any better when you finally stand up for yourself, he isn’t going to like it.

13. You are afraid of him or his reaction

If you fear him or his reaction, then it is time to leave, period. No one should make you fearful in a relationship. Whether he withholds love or physically abuses you, if you are fearful and just follow along, then the answer to your question, “should I give up on him?” is a hard YES!

14. You are afraid to be alone

At some point, if you even ask this question, then you have to ask yourself why you would not give up. Maybe you are just afraid to be alone or that someone else won’t come along.

Believe us, someone will. There is always another relationship around the bend. And, if this one isn’t the one, the right one will come along. [Read: Fear of being alone – How to let go of this fear and find your peace]

16. He doesn’t care about your feelings

If he truly doesn’t care, like you can stand in front of him crying, or you are in trouble, and he doesn’t come to your rescue, leave. That is never going to change.

You can’t teach someone to care about you. You can’t beat him into it, and you certainly can’t keep begging for it. If he doesn’t care about how you feel, then you let go.

15. He is a narcissist

A narcissist only cares about one person—himself. Likely, you are nothing but a means to his end. If every time you start to walk, he comes running to you, but he can’t be bothered to acknowledge that you exist when you are by his side, then you are dealing with a personality style that not many people survive. Run now while you still have your self-esteem intact.

Narcissists won’t change because they aren’t capable. Because they lack empathy, they couldn’t even if they wanted to. [Read: Signs a narcissist is playing mind games with you]

16. You are just two very different personalities, oil and vinegar

If you are a “soft sensitive” and he is the “I don’t give a shit” type, you two will face constant misunderstandings. The peace that you crave just won’t be there.

Personality styles don’t change as much as you might wish they would. If you have come as far as you can, and he has too, and you still can’t seem to meet in a happy medium, you won’t ever be happy. [Read: Do opposites attract or push each other away?]

17. His family won’t vacate *especially mommy*

If his family is a major contention in your relationship, that won’t change. If he goes running to his mommy every time he has a problem, or his family doesn’t like you and they all talk about you, it is a nail in the coffin.

If you think that you’ll win them over, you won’t. He fosters it, and he isn’t ever going to stop.

18. He’s abusing you

Abuse in a relationship should be an immediate deal-breaker for everyone. But there are many kinds of abuse beyond physical abuse. Emotional and mental abuse are just as damaging, just in a very different way.

So, if he is laying his hands on you, beating you, putting you down, or otherwise mentally torturing you, then it’s time to give up on him – he will never change.

19. You’re incompatible

Incompatibility is very difficult to overcome in a relationship. For example, let’s say one of you is an extrovert and the other is an introvert/homebody. The extrovert wants to go out, do fun things, and socialize with other people.

Meanwhile, the introvert never wants to leave the house and isn’t into hanging out with people. These personalities are very incompatible. So, you might want to reconsider whether or not you two are a good match. [Read: Sexually incompatible? The unlucky signs that confirm bad sex]

20. He is addicted to something

Addiction should also be considered a deal-breaker. Usually, when we think of addiction, we think of alcohol or drugs.

But there are a lot of other addictions that can be harmful to a relationship. It can be an addiction to porn, video games, or gambling. Addictions take his attention away from you and the relationship.

21. He is reckless with money

Finances are one of the top reasons that couples break up. If one of you is a spender and one is a saver, that doesn’t work very well together. Maybe he gambles or does things with his money that you disapprove of and doesn’t consult your opinion. This can be a huge problem in relationships.

22. He cheated on you

Cheating and betrayal should also be a deal-breaker, but for many it’s not. Some women give the cheater too many chances, but they will always keep cheating.

So, whether it’s cheating or some other kind of betrayal, you should really think about giving up on him because he probably won’t change. [Read: How to get over someone cheating on you and repair the damage]

23. He’s emotionally withdrawn

When a guy is always “in his own world” and doesn’t engage with you at all, then he is emotionally withdrawn. He could be physically present but just staring at the TV 24/7 or simply a workaholic. The point is, if he’s not emotionally connecting with you anymore, then that is not a satisfying relationship.

24. Your relationship is not a priority to him

If you find that he puts almost everything in his life before you, then you are not a top priority in his life.

Going out with his guy friends, working, drinking, playing video games, or anything else can be more important to him than you are. If that’s happening, then you should probably give up on him.

25. You aren’t happy

This one seems so simple, but it’s probably the most profound reason you should end it with him. If you aren’t happy with him, then is there any other choice? After all, the goal in life should be happiness.

So if he is sucking the joy out of your life, why are you even with him? There is someone else out there that can bring a smile to your face, you just need to find him. [Read: Not happy in a relationship – 20 signs, why it happens, and what to do]

Deciding on giving up on him

Deciding to leave someone you love is one of the hardest decisions in the world. The definition of insanity is performing the same behavior and expecting a different result. If no matter how you approach your relationship, it simply isn’t giving you what you want, it is time to let go and move on.

It isn’t really about giving up on him as much as recognizing that you may just not be the best for one another. Giving up on him implies that he will change if you just hold out long enough.

[Read: Feeling trapped in a relationship? Should you stay or break free?]

So, take heart, it will be painful, but the sun will rise tomorrow. You’ll find your new normal and a guy that you don’t ever have to ask if you should give up on hi, because he supplies you with what you need from the start.