Sexual Role Play: How to Try It & the 35 Best Roleplay Ideas for Couples

If you really want to spice up your sex life, then you should try sexual role play. Here are some role playing ideas you might want to try to set the scene and have some kinky fun. 

Sexual role play ideas for couples are sexy and plenty, but the appeal of role playing, well, that’s something many don’t get. Some people aren’t exactly excited by the idea of getting all dressed up and pretending to be someone else while trying to seduce their partner. After all, to many, roleplaying is a taboo that exists no more than beyond porn.

But on the other hand, they really want to make those fantasies come alive for their partner despite their impending shyness. In that case, knowing a few role playing ideas for couples beforehand will give you a boost of confidence. 

For those of you who are too shy to jump in and get started on the hottest, sexiest roles to play in the bedroom, we’ve got something just for you. Just because you’re typically a shy person doesn’t mean you can’t make your partner’s wildest dreams come true in the bedroom. 

After all, you can be anyone you want to be with a little imagination! 

[Read: The sexual role play guide for beginners to know every single thing about dressing up naughty]

The problems with good ol’ sex

You’re probably having sex occasionally with your lover, but there may be a few times when things move a little too fast, and even before you know it, the deed’s done. 

If you’re the guy, you may not want it to end, but sometimes, due to pressure of performance or any other reason, you may just not be able to hold on long enough. [Read: How to prevent premature ejaculation]

Or if you’re a girl, you might find things a bit too painful because you’re just not ready for the stick to slip into a wet patch.

These are just a few things that can be a big turn-off in bed, even if it happens once in a while. But when these things get repeated every now and then, sex can become as frustrating as a bad day at work.

The main problem with sex is that foreplay can take too long, or one partner may just want to have mad sex rather than please the other person. Now that may seem selfish, but everyone has one of those days when they just want a change in their monotonous see-saw. [Read: How to be good at sex – 32 secrets that’ll make you the hottest lay]

You’ll just have to make sure this sort of inconsiderate sex doesn’t happen all the time. But whatever may be the case, sex can become a bore after a while unless you innovate.

What do we really mean by roleplay in bed?

Sexual role playing is the act of dressing up and pretending to be someone else, to arouse and seduce your partner in a whole new way. It’s a method by which you heighten your sexual arousal by re-enacting a scenario and wooing or seducing your partner, in a manner that arouses them just as much as it arouses you.

Basically, sexual role play is a game of seduction where you and your partner enact different characters and dress up just like the character and make sexual advances on each other. [Read: 78 sexy, dirty things to say in bed and turn your partner on like never before]

In other words, you’re pretending. You can behave like another person altogether, or you can just pretend to be yourself, doing a different job. 

For instance, you could be a nurse, a teacher, a police officer, or a doctor, while your partner could be the patient, or just about any different role play scenario that arouses you. Santa and the naughty elf, anyone?

Or, you can take it to another level, and both of you pretend to be totally different people who have just met. [Read: What are pheromones? The scent of sex and the role they play in love]

You’re playing a role… it’s that simple. 

Many couples enjoy role play, and it doesn’t have to be anything particularly “out there.” The good thing about role play is that you can tailor it to your comfort level.

You might feel a little awkward with one particular scenario, so just don’t do it. Try another one that you feel more at home with instead. 

By learning a few sexual role-playing ideas for couples, you can mix things up and try new options. 

[Read: How to role play in bed – Role playing sex games]

Most of the time, sex just happens without any preparation or planning. Someone decides to get horny, and habit and repetition has taught us enough to know how it’s supposed to feel. 

Five or maybe twenty minutes later, one of you rolls off, and the other probably feigns death. With sexual role play, this would never happen, because you know you’re a part of an act that will eventually end with amazing sex.

The whole time you’re thinking about nothing but sex, and you’re getting aroused thinking about it, and you can’t wait to pounce on your mate.

The need for sexual roleplay

Even the happiest couples in love can suffer from a drought in their sex lives.

You could be madly in love with your partner, but quite frankly, emotional love and mad, sexual passion are two completely different things.

You could actually be in love with someone and yet, lust about another person. [Read: 28 threesome tips and secrets to have one you won’t forget for a lifetime]

Worried that might happen to you? Well, don’t be. There are quite a few ways to bring the sizzle back in the sack, and costumes and role-playing sex is definitely one of the best.

The appeal of role-play fantasy

People role play for a lot of different reasons. Sometimes, they get turned on by letting themselves go and being someone else. Other times, it’s their partner who gets off on the idea of them being some awesome, otherworldly person.

Have a mad crush on the Witcher, Thor, or fantasizing about getting indecently touched by a masseur? Perhaps your man could dress up and seduce you. [Read: How to fantasize about someone else while having sex with your own partner]

Or find yourself getting aroused by Wonder Woman or the idea of a sexy stripper or air hostess? Just ask your woman to give that outfit a whirl!

The appeal of role playing for couples is that you and your partner can transform yourselves into completely different people for the night and excite each other sexually. 

It’s arousing, it’s new, it’s a whole different fantasy, and completely different from the missionary sex you’ve been having for so long, thus a great way to spice up your everyday life. And all this fun, without ever cheating on each other! [Read: The cuckold fantasy – The fetish and what you need to know to try it]

Why try sex role play? 

If you’ve never tried sexual role play before, you might wonder what the main reasons are that people do it. Here are the top reasons you should know.

1. Explore your fantasies

Everyone has sexual fantasies, but not everyone acts on them. The reason they might not enact them is that they are too risky or unrealistic.

That’s the beauty of role-playing. It doesn’t matter how risky or unrealistic they are. That’s the whole point – to pretend like you are doing them.

They allow you to get a little freaky with your partner while feeling safe at the same time. [Read: The lesbian fantasy – And what it means to have one as a straight woman]

2. Add excitement to your sex life

When two people get together and start having sex, it’s always naturally exciting. But the longer a couple has been together, the more routine their sex life becomes. That’s not necessarily bad for everyone, but some people need just a little more excitement.

That’s where role-playing comes in. You can do something a little bit “wild and crazy” while still staying faithful to your partner.

For example, if you wonder what it’s like to be with a stripper, you don’t have to wonder any longer if your partner does a strip tease for you.

Role play can be any scenario you want it to be

These starter role playing ideas for couples will give you a foundation on which to build your role playing adventures. But, if there’s something that’s always been in your mind that you want to try, go for it! [Read: Romantic sex – 15 ways to go from ordinary sex to romantic fantasy]

Maybe there’s a character you’ve always wanted to be? In that case, turn into that character and enjoy it in a sexy setting.

There are no limits to role play. That’s why it’s such a popular way for couples to spice up their sex lives and enjoy something different. 

It takes you completely out of your current situation and turns things around. When things are fresh and new, they’re automatically more exciting. After all, that’s what sex is supposed to be, isn’t it? [Read: Reverse cowgirl sex position – what it is and how to ride in sexy style]

Learning to role play sexually

Sexual role play cannot be learned from a book or from someone else’s mouth – it has to be experienced. And you’ll have to understand what turns you and your partner on better than the other role playing characters. 

But once you’re comfortable with the act of sexual role play and costumes, sex can become as exciting as your first night together, because, literally speaking, the person you’re having sex with is, a totally different character!

Sexual role play for beginners

When you’re ready to take sex to the next level, sexual role playing can be the perfect way to heighten your pleasure. [Read: How to dirty talk – 36 sexy tips and 55 examples to dirty talk and say the sexiest things]

Sexual role play makes it easier to look into your deepest desires and reveal them to your partner.

You may have tried every position under the sun, but after a while, the different positions can just get boring and become a mighty pain in your backside or some other part. Instead, be creative and indulge in a bit of sexual role playing.

Shy to try role playing?

What if role playing makes you feel corny or silly? Really, for a first-timer, it does feel pretty silly to strut into the bedroom dressed as someone else and behaving like *what you believe is* a total idiot! [Read: 18 secrets to relax during sex free your mind, and enjoy a blissful orgasm]

But guess what? Your partner will love it! It may seem corny to you, but all it would take is a minute to realize your partner is way more aroused and hornier.

And if you’re shy? No matter the reason, people who are shy often have a hard time coming out of their shells and transforming into someone else. They get nervous and may feel awkward. Sometimes, that’s all it takes to turn them off of the entire idea. 

But even if you’re a beginner when it comes to role playing, following these tips can help you ease into the experience and even enjoy yourself! 

After all, when you’re enjoying role playing as a couple, you’re not yourself. You’re an actor who is playing a part. Thinking in that way may help you to let go and try role play for the first time. [Read: The best naughty sex games for couples to feel horny again]

Tips for letting go when role playing 

Before we hop right into the nitty-gritty of it all and explore some role playing ideas for couples, there are a few steps you can take before flipping that switch and really getting into character. These ideas will help ease the nervousness that can be associated with role playing.

1. Find a way to relax when trying out role playing ideas for couples

Any way you can relax will make things a lot better. People who are shy have a tendency to get worked up over this type of thing, but it’s important to remain calm.

Take a few deep breaths, get in the zone, and go for it! 

However, avoid drinking too much before you start role playing. You’ll probably end up doing something you wish you hadn’t, or you might not remember it in all its glory! [Read: How to relax during sex – Free your mind and enjoy your orgasms]

2. Always remember that no matter what the role, it’s still your partner

People who are shy often fear judgment. However, with this type of activity, you’re with your significant other—your partner. 

They aren’t there to judge you, and will only be ecstatic you’re doing this for them. You can even let them know how you’re feeling. Have a conversation about it, and it might just help you open up in the bedroom.

3. Realize how hot you are!

You are a sexy piece! Appreciate your hotness and use that confidence to help you through the role playing.

You can’t possibly be too shy to realize that you’re ridiculously attractive and that your lover is going to appreciate that hotness, too. [Read: How to get a shy girl to feel relaxed and open up in bed]

4. Okay, you can take a shot, or two, but no more!

Okay, we admit, some liquid courage never really hurts prior to some awesome role playing. Just make sure to limit yourself so you don’t take it too far.

Too much alcohol may make you too unstable for the big event. As we mentioned before, you do want to actually remember it! 

Things to remember before engaging in sexy role play 

Sexual role play isn’t something that everyone does, so you have to be prepared to do it right. So, here are some things to remember before you do it.

1. Don’t feel pressured

Maybe it’s just your partner who wants to do sexual role play, and you’re not. In that case, make sure that they don’t pressure you into doing something that you don’t want to do.

This is supposed to be fun and safe. Only do what’s comfortable for you. [Read: 28 sensual, romantic secrets to kiss someone passionately and deeply]

2. Set boundaries

If you have decided that you want to do it, then you need to set boundaries. Make sure the role play that you choose is exciting for you. Don’t do anything that might trouble your mind. For example, if you would be traumatized by a rape role play, then just don’t do it.

3. Come up with a safe word

Many people assume that safe words are only for when you’re trying something really kinky, such as BDSM, but you can use a safe word at any time, in any activity. 

Because you’re both in a new storyline here, you can use the safe word to snap you both back to reality and end things whenever you don’t feel comfortable. [Read: Meaning of safe words and how to use them when you’re playing rough]

That knowledge might be all you need to feel more relaxed and get into character. 

4. Have fun

Remember, this is supposed to be an enjoyable experience! Have some fun with it and laugh if you want to. If you think it’s a little cheesy and funny to act out a character, that’s okay! Laugh as much as you want because this is supposed to make you feel good.

If you approach it with dread, as though it’s a test you need to pass, you’re not going to enjoy it at all. What’s the point in that? [Read: Sexual voyeurism and the horny rush it gives anyone that tries it]

How to role play in bed

If you’ve never indulged in role playing sex or anything close to this before, then you may think the whole game is just hilarious. And extremely stupid.

But like it goes with everything else, you never know what you’re missing until you try it! Wearing costumes while having sex may make you feel uneasy and uncomfortable, but the more you feel the part, the more fun for both of you.

For beginners, you could just play along without the costumes and opt for roles that wouldn’t make you uncomfortable.

Choose to be a pizza delivery person instead of a sex worker, or opt to be the mailman instead of a doctor. [Read: Tease and denial games – what it is, types, and how to play with your lover]

After you’ve done it a few times, you can move ahead with more adventurous role-playing sex games that both of you will be eager to explore.

Learning how to role play can be exposing and awkward at times, but with time, you would learn to enjoy yourself and be comfortable with your own body, even if it’s a bit on the fatter or skinny side. Be prepared to experience something new, and enjoy yourself.

Remember role playing sex is a lot better than regular sexual activity because you can actually enact any fantasy that you’ve ever had. And with role playing sex, you can actually spend a longer time waiting in anticipation for great sex, instead of just having sex without any preparation. [Read: 22 playful ways to make sex more interesting when it’s boring and lame]

The rules of role-playing sex

Knowing how to role play in the game is the most important part. Enjoy the game, even if your lover decides to dress up like a Giant Horny Bird or as the Fat Bastard from good ol’ Austin Powers, just go with the game. 

You’re doing this to make sex a lot better for the both of you, so avoid judgment, unless, of course, your partner’s costume or behavior grosses you out.

Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in role playing sex and overdo it once in a while, so if anything gets boring or uncomfortable, just cut it out.

Instead, you can start by learning to have good sexy conversations to turn each other on.

And most importantly, before you even think of shedding your clothes, shed your inhibitions! Or you wouldn’t be able to pull off something that can excite the both of you.

Once you’re comfortable with the theme of your role-playing sex game, learn to dress the part. Accessorize, use the right kind of perfume, dress well and behave the same way.

A few minutes into the game and you would be aroused a lot more than you would have ever thought. So play this game with the right spirit and interest, and you’d flood the sheets before you’re done!

Do you need to dress up during sexual role play?

Honestly, dressing up does make it feel a lot sexier and “real.” But to each their own.

If you’re just dipping your feet into the world of role playing in bed and feel really weirded out by the idea of dressing up in some “ridiculous” costume or skimpy attire, feel free to skip it for your first try. [Read: 27 naughty, sexy, fun games to play with your boyfriend in bed and out]

Just get into character and get into bed with your lover. And if it feels exciting, chances are, it’ll feel a lot naughtier and sexually arousing when you’re dressed up for the whole act.

The best erotic roleplay ideas for couples to try 

Now that you’re all relaxed and ready to go, here are some great ideas to try that a shy person can totally bring to life while role playing. 

Bring out your costumes and props, check out these role playing ideas for couples, and spice up your sex life tonight! [Read: 12 naughty games for couples to feel really horny in no time]

1. Simple role-playing ideas for couples – Scandalous lingerie

The first and easiest role playing option is just getting some really scandalous, “out there” lingerie and transforming yourself into your alter ego. 

What a lot of people don’t realize is that lingerie can do wonders when it comes to giving yourself a whole new persona. It also gives you a whole lot of new confidence. Your partner will adore seeing your body in this new way, and you’ll feed off the look of desire in their eyes. 

This is one of the easiest role playing ideas for couples to start with and could be all it takes to develop a new appreciation of playing a new role. [Read: How to dress for sex and leave your man stiff and horny in seconds]

2. Play a shy character 

What’s easier for a shy person to play than a shy person? You can act like an innocent, shy person and your partner will love it. 

Putting on a new shy act will allow you to be somewhat yourself, but also take a step over the edge and introduce you to some saucy role playing. 

3. The submissive/dominant fantasy

Shy people are probably the best at playing the role of submission! So let your shyness remain there and have your partner tell you exactly what to do. 

You won’t have to act too out-of-the-box with this role playing idea, but you’re still playing along enough to satiate your partner’s desires. [Read: Strap in and kink out – Your guide to having submissive sex]

Go for the safe word option we talked about earlier and really let your imagination go wild with this. You don’t have to go full-on 50 Shades with spanking and all that, but you can experiment with different aspects of the submissive and dominant fantasy. 

Keep in mind that this role-play scenario must be consensual.

4. Act like complete strangers at a bar – one of the easiest role-playing ideas for couples

This is a personal favorite for many couples, and it’s really easy to do! Arrive at a hotel bar together, but then go in separately. Exchange some glances from across the bar, then walk up and introduce yourself, and maybe flirt with each other, acting as if you’ve never met before.

Not only does this lead to some amazing “first-time” sex, but it also lets you decide who you are for the night. You can act like a completely different *not shy* person all night long.

In terms of role playing ideas for couples, this is one of the easiest and the sexiest. [Read: 20 extremely arousing sex ideas to blow your lover’s mind in bed] 

5. Be a masseuse

This is an easy one for you shy people out there. All you have to do is rub your partner down with some oil and pretend you’re in a spa setting. [Confession: Asian happy ending massage – What it is and my very first experience]

One thing will lead to another, and pretty soon, it’ll be the “happy ending” massage they’ve always wanted.

And better still, you’ll feel relaxed and enjoy the relaxed atmosphere that will also help you get in the moment! [Read: The step-by-step guide to giving a good massage that’ll turn your partner on]

6. Royalty and servant

If you’re just starting out and you’re not sure how to get started with role play, you should play the servant and let your partner take the lead.

This is great because maids only speak when asked to and only do what their royal master says to do. If you can, make the sex scene better by dressing up in a french maid costume, too.

If you want to take it a step further, you try being the royal one and have your partner be the servant. You can get out of your comfort zone by telling them what to do for a change. It might be all you need to really start role playing far more often. 

7. Play the naughty nurse – one of the common role playing ideas for couples but a great choice!

Yes, we know this one is a bit cliché and you see it everywhere, but that’s why it’s perfect. Because it’s so common and used so much, it will make you feel less like you’re role playing and more like you’re just having a good time.

If you’re familiar with this concept, then it won’t seem as scary and intimidating as some of the other role play ideas you hear about. [Read: 17 of the sexiest naughty ideas to spice up married sex]

8. Heat things up as a sexy chef

This one can be especially fun because you get to eat a fantastic dinner beforehand, then use props in your “dessert” course. It’s the best of both worlds! 

Put on the whole chef outfit, make a fantastic dinner, and save dessert for last. Using some chocolate syrup and whipped cream during the main event will only add to the excitement.

9. Professor and student

In this fantasy, why don’t you be the professor? Acting as an authority figure gives you the right to take charge and get out of your shy shell. 

However, if you’re still a little timid, you can alter the experience to have the student approach the professor and take more of a backseat role. [Read: How to make sex more enjoyable – It’s not a textbook answer]

10. Mistress and Mister

Pretend to be your partner’s mistress or mister. Turn on a completely different side of you and be a pushy lover that your partner must sleep with or you’ll tell their spouse about the third party. 

This is much easier for shy people because there are no costumes involved at all. They just have to put on a different persona. Of course, your honey could even up the suspense by choosing some perfect lingerie for you.

11. Taxi driver

One of you should get into your car and drive around for a little while. Then, circle back and pretend like you’re a taxi driver and your partner is hailing you down. [Read: Foreplay ideas for him – 29 moves to get a guy mad-horny with ease]

Then, have your partner get in the back seat and ask where they want to go. The passenger should start talking dirty and begin hitting on the taxi driver. From there, let your imagination lead you to where you want to go. 

12. Painter and Paintee

If one of you has artistic ability *or even if you don’t*, then one of you should be a famous painter who paints a portrait of the other one. You can start out clothed, but then ask the person posing for it to slowly take off articles of clothing.

13. Prisoner and guard

One of you should be a “prisoner” and the other one is a guard. You can handcuff the prisoner somewhere so they can’t get away.

The prisoner can try to sweet talk the guard into letting them go free. Say you’ll do sexual favors for them if they do. [Read: 19 foreplay sex games for couples to get naughty and horny in minutes]

14. Passed out/Asleep

This is a little like a rape scenario, so you need to be careful with this one. You don’t want to trigger any trauma in either of you.

But if you want, one of you can pretend like they’re passed out drunk or even sleeping. The other one takes advantage of them while they’re in that state.

15. Spy and interrogator

One of you should be the spy and make up a whole story about who you are spying on and why. You can pretend to be part of an international ring of spies, or that you’re just spying on an individual. The interrogator should drill them and ask questions about their whereabouts and intentions.

16. Boss and bad employee

If you have ever worked with someone that you found attractive, then this role play might be fun for you. One of you is a naughty, bad employee who doesn’t show up for work on time or does their job wrong.

The boss needs to punish them appropriately for the mistakes that they make. [Read: How to have tantric sex – beginners guide to awaken your sexuality]

17. Cop and speeding ticket receiver

Both of you should get into your cars and find a street that isn’t too busy. One of you should start going fast and the other one should follow, pretending to be a cop.

Then, the cop will pull you over and give you a ticket. The ticket receiver should beg to get out of the ticket by providing sexual favors.

18. People who hate each other     

As they say, there is a fine line between love and hate. So, you can pretend that you are two workers who hate each other or any other kind of relationship.

Start yelling, screaming, and name-calling each other. Then, one of you should just start embracing the other with a deep, forceful kiss… and then go from there. [Read: How to have rough sex and 15 secrets to have the wildest time in bed]

19. Yoga class

If you’re into yoga, then pretend that you are an instructor. Wear really skimpy clothes and have the other person pretend to be the student in the class.

One of you should look the other one up and down and admire their body. Finally, one should hit on the other and start to get it on. [Read: How to edge yourself – What’s edging and 15 sexy secrets to huge orgasms]

20. Pool boy and housewife

This is a fun fantasy if you have a pool. Even if you don’t, you can pretend that you do. Or you can substitute the pool boy for a gardener/someone who mows your lawn. The sex-starved housewife should go and ask sexy questions of the pool boy and try to seduce him.

21. Pilot and flight attendant

If you are part of the mile-high club – or even if you aren’t but want to be – you can choose a pilot and flight attendant fantasy.

The pilot should pretend to concentrate on flying the plane, while the flight attendant comes in and tries to distract him. You can even pretend that the pilot loses control of the plane temporarily because they are so turned on.

22. Tourist and local

Go out into your city somewhere and pretend like you don’t know each other. Then the tourist should ask the local a question about what are some fun things to do.

The local should offer to show them around, and then one of you should come on to the other as the tour of the city goes on. [Read: How to dress for sex – secrets to look sexier for your man and arouse him]

23. Cheerleader and football captain

A lot of people had this fantasy when they were in high school. The image of the popular football captain and the cheerleader is a desirable one for a lot of people.

So, get some costumes and try to act this one out. Pretend like you’re back in high school again.

24. Cowboy and saloon girl

Cowboys are a sexy symbol. They are mysterious and usually loners. Pretend like you went back in time and are in the 1800s in a saloon.

The saloon girl is serving the cowboy some whiskey, and one of you starts to feel the other one up and proposition them for sex.

25. Strip poker

You can actually play strip poker, or you can just pretend that you are. It doesn’t matter because the whole point is to get each other to eventually take off all of your clothes. But it’s more exciting that way because it happens very slowly and builds anticipation for the final act.

Choosing your characters to role play

Choose a character that has always enticed or motivated you, something that gives you a boost of sexual adrenalin, and let your partner choose one that suits them. 

But remember, the characters that both of you choose should be able to blend with each other. A few of the all-time favorite role playing sex characters that are preferred over the others all across the world include the ones we’ve listed above. 

These are just a few of the different characters that you could opt to play, and if you have the perfect costumes to go with them, you could guarantee yourself a totally wild night of role playing sex.

How to enjoy role playing to fulfill your sexual fantasies

Enjoy the game with your partner. Remember, having sex is not all about penetration, but about the way you feel during the whole act. And great sex is more in your mind than in your pants. 

So, learn to tune your mind into the mood when you indulge in role playing sex. Role playing sex doesn’t have to give you an extra dose of orgasms, but it helps you prolong the game so that both of you can have fun and experience the full effect of a good night of sex and games.

So, get into it, make it intense and safe, and always get your partner’s consent and agree that it can end the moment someone feels uncomfortable. It would be great if you can understand that just because it doesn’t work once, it doesn’t mean that you should stop trying. [Read: Public flashing confessions]

Just like different couples find different ways to rekindle the lust in a long-term relationship by swinging or making out in public, role playing sex is just one of the many exciting things you can do to spice things up in bed.

Role playing sex is always fun if done the right way. If at first, you don’t succeed, try again. And soon, you might understand the wonders it can do to your sex life, and how good it can feel for you!

[Read: The top 50 kinky sex ideas worth trying at least once in your lifetime]

The best thing about sexual role play is that the more you do it, the more comfortable it will be. So, start with these easy role playing ideas for couples, then move into some sexier ideas in the future!