Serious Face: 29 Things That Piss Her Off & 10 Ways to Avoid Getting It

The serious face: a red-hot alarm that tells you shit is about to blow up. If you don’t know what it is, or its power, read on before you really anger her.

Okay, can we be honest here? Women and men are wired differently. Both sexes are probably saying, “duh,” right now. But at some point, despite these differences, we have to learn to live together. So, men, if you want to know how to keep the peace, learn what the serious face means and how to avoid it.

If not just for procreation and survival, then just to get along. Nothing is more blissful than having a relationship clicking and going along just as you had planned; a relationship where each partner feels like their needs are being met.

The truth? If you want to get along in a relationship, learn what your girlfriend’s hot buttons are and avoid them. Sure, sometimes it feels really friggin’ good to press them, but payback is a bitch—not for her, but for you. [Read: Playful banter – what it is, how to do it, and secrets to keep the flirty talk going]

The Science of Perception and Emotion

Before we explore the maze of men’s actions and how they can unintentionally bruise a woman’s feelings, let’s understand the science behind it all. Think of it like getting the backstage pass to a magic show; once you know how the tricks work, everything makes more sense!

1. The role of facial expressions and body language

Facial expressions and body language are the unspoken elements of communication. They often convey more than words themselves.

For men, a particular expression, like a serious face, might be a default state or a reflection of deep thought. However, for women, who may be more attuned to emotional nuances, this same expression can be read as disapproval, anger, or disinterest. This discrepancy in interpretation is where misunderstandings can start. [Read: 45 relationship hang-ups, mistakes & steps to let go of them as a couple]

2. Emotional intelligence and its impact

Emotional intelligence plays a significant role in how we perceive and react to others’ actions. It involves the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions, as well as to perceive and influence the emotions of others.

Women often score higher in emotional intelligence, which means they may be more sensitive to emotional cues and changes in their partner’s mood or demeanor. So, a man’s seemingly innocuous action or facial expression can be perceived as emotionally charged, leading to the infamous serious face.

3. The concept of emotional contagion

Emotional contagion is the phenomenon of one person’s emotions and related behaviors directly triggering similar emotions and behaviors in other people. When a man shows a serious face, even if unintentional, it can create a ripple effect, influencing the mood and emotional state of his partner.

This contagion can lead to a cycle of emotional responses, with the woman’s serious face being a response to the emotions she perceives in her partner. So while you might be sitting there with a resting serious face, she might perceive that as you feeling stressed or upset, in turn mirroring those feelings.

These Things Always Get You The Serious Face

Yes, gather in close here, men. We have all seen and know what the serious face is. But maybe you didn’t know that the best treatment for a serious face is to prevent it altogether. [Read: Crazy girlfriend: What makes one, 53 psycho signs & ways to deal with her]

If you want to know when the serious face is going to rear its ugly head, we’re going to be your crystal ball; no wait, your Jiminy Cricket.

1. Lying

Nothing will get you the serious face more than being caught in a lie. Girls don’t ever think there is a reason to be untruthful *unless they ask “Does my ass look fat in these jeans?”*

If you said you were some place you weren’t, or you didn’t text your female coworker only for her to find out you did, that is grounds for the “serious face.” [Read: Mind games in a relationship – why play, when it’s okay, and how to stop it]

2. Showing up late to something “special”

How hard is it to keep a promise? Likely, there are very few times when she needs you somewhere on time. If it is a special occasion, and she is relying on you to be there, make sure to get there on time. Chances are she wouldn’t be late if she knew it was something important to you.

3. Say you’re on your way and come home hours later

In the same vein as being late to a special event, why tell her you are on your way home when you aren’t? If you have no intention of walking through that door anytime soon, just tell her. Otherwise, every minute past when she thinks you are going to be home she will be sitting and stewing, just plotting what she is going to do and say when you do walk through that door.

It isn’t just about the lying, it’s about not showing up when you say you will. Guess what? She cares and gets worried. Think about someone other than yourself and the good time you are having. If you are going to be late, be honest. [Read: Weak and strong men – what it means and 56 signs of a weak man in a relationship]

4. Overlooking her emotional cues

Imagine forgetting a date that’s significant to her—be it an anniversary or a milestone. Why does this matter so much? It’s about the message it sends: “Your important moments aren’t important to me.” This can deeply hurt her feelings, as it seems to question the value placed on the relationship itself. [Read: 20 caring ways to show a girl you love her and are serious about her]

Even ignoring her clear emotional cues throughout the day can send the same message. If she’s making it obvious that she’s stressed or upset, don’t ignore it just hoping that her problems or emotions will resolve themselves on their own. That just sends her the clear message that you don’t care about her feelings.

5. Constantly bringing up past mistakes

Reminding her time and time again of her past errors is a surefire way to build resentment. This approach can make her feel like she’s unable to move forward or grow within the relationship. Each mention of a past mistake is a step back in the trust and progress they’ve made together.

Imagine if she never let go of your mistakes, constantly reminding you of them to bring you down? You’d be wearing a pretty strong serious face yourself.

6. Failing to celebrate her successes

If you don’t celebrate her achievements, it can make her feel like her successes don’t matter to you. Recognition from a partner can be a powerful source of validation and joy. Ignoring these moments can diminish her sense of shared joy and partnership, making her feel alone.

7. Habitually interrupting her

Regular interruptions during conversations aren’t just rude; they signal a lack of respect for her thoughts and opinions. Seriously, do this enough, and she’ll believe that in your eyes, what she has to say is less important or valued.

It’s a small action with big implications for mutual respect and communication. Her serious face in these moments is a mirror of the frustration and disrespect she feels. [Read: 19 ways to be a much better listener in a relationship and read their mind]

8. Making jokes at her expense

Humor at her expense, especially in public, can be deeply humiliating. Sure, you think you’re poking some light-hearted fun, but sometimes that can cross the line into insensitivity. It’s crucial to understand her boundaries and sense of humor. A serious face in response to such jokes is often a sign of hurt and embarrassment.

9. Ignoring her in group conversations

When a boyfriend consistently ignores his girlfriend in group settings, it can make her feel invisible and unimportant. Being overlooked in conversations suggests that her input isn’t valued, which, coming from the person that supposedly loves her the most, can really sting like a bitch.

Don’t be that boyfriend. Engage with her in group settings and make her feel seen and heard. [Read: 23 big signs your boyfriend’s friends don’t like you and what to do about it]

10. Not valuing her opinion in decisions

If you make decisions, especially major ones, without valuing her input, it undermines the partnership. Not only that, but it shows a lack of respect for her perspective.

When you’re in a relationship, it’s about being partners in every sense. Her serious face might be a response to feeling sidelined.

11. Rarely expressing appreciation or gratitude

A lack of expressed appreciation or gratitude can make her feel taken for granted. Even simple acknowledgments of her efforts and contributions can mean a lot. When she does the dishes, folds your laundry, or even buys you your favorite snack from the store, thank her.

When these acknowledgments are missing, it can lead to a serious face that reflects her feelings of being unappreciated. [Read: 44 warm ways to say “I appreciate you” and show appreciation without words]

12. Not being present during quality time

Being physically present but mentally elsewhere during ‘quality time’ can be as hurtful as not being there at all. This lack of presence can make her feel undervalued and ignored.

So whether you’re on a romantic picnic or just curled up on the sofa watching a movie together, put away your darn phone and give the moment all of your attention. [Read: Phubbing – what it is, 18 reasons why we phub, and ways to stop it ASAP]

13. Displaying jealousy or possessiveness

Excessive jealousy or possessiveness isn’t just about trust issues; it’s about respecting her autonomy. Exaggerated displays of jealous behavior can be suffocating and demonstrate a lack of security in the relationship.

The serious face she wears in these instances is one of concern and discomfort at the lack of trust you seem to have in her.

14. Say you don’t want to talk but pick up your phone to call a friend two minutes later.

Don’t be one of those guys who say they’re ‘too tired’ to have a conversation only to hop on a call with the boys minutes later. To your girlfriend, that just says “I don’t want to talk to you!”

If you don’t want to get the serious face, sacrifice 30 minutes to catch up with her, and then you can chit-chat away with your friends. [Read: 60 perfect traits to be a good boyfriend that’ll make you better than the best]

15. Complain about your girlfriend/the relationship behind her back

If you’re unhappy or unsatisfied with the relationship, deal with it. It isn’t necessary to bad mouth her to your friends behind her back. Unless you want your boys to hate on your girlfriend for some reason.

If you have a problem, just say it to her and leave the rest of the world out.

16. Talk to your mom about her

There is an unwritten rule when it comes to relationships—mothers on both sides are on a need-to-know basis when it comes to issues in the relationship. There is absolutely no reason to talk to mommy at every hurdle. She is always going to take your side, and the next time she sees your girlfriend, she is going to be nasty.

There is a reason you get the serious face when she finds out you have been blowing up your mom’s ear about all your problems. It isn’t cool!

17. Come home drunk after “work”

If you tell her you are at work, and then show up drunk at home three hours later, that isn’t cool. If you leave work to have drinks, just say so. It isn’t a big deal. Unless you lie about it, then you’re making it a big deal. And you put yourself in the firing line of the serious face, so well done.

18. Say there is no time or money for vacation and head on a fishing trip

If you can’t ever find time or money for her, but the sky is the limit when you want to get away with the guys, shame on you, you deserve the serious face. When you pull stunts like that, it just tells your girlfriend you don’t care about her, and that she comes second. [Read: Selfishness in relationships – 15 tips to do the right thing]

19. Schmooze the waitress

Your girlfriend is sitting there all dressed up and out on a date with you, only to look over and see her man is gushing all over some waitress. That is definitely grounds for the serious face.

If you are with a woman, be with her. You aren’t going to make a date with the waitress with her sitting there, so all you’re going to achieve is hurting her for no reason.

20. Charm everyone in the room but your girlfriend

You come home from work pissed off, irritable, and miserable when your girlfriend reminds you that you both have plans to go to a party. You didn’t even want to go, but the minute you get there, you are, Mr. Happy-Go-Lucky and charming every person in the room.

Don’t save the grumpy attitude for your girlfriend and show the rest of the world how awesome you are. That just isn’t cool. No wonder she’s shooting you the serious face from across the room.

21. Forget an anniversary or birthday

We all have cell phones with calendars, don’t we? How hard is it to put a couple of important dates in it with an alarm? The fact that you don’t is just passive-aggressive. Then when she gets mad, you turn it around on her and make her the jerk?

You deserve the serious face if you can’t honor her on one or two days a year. [Read: Are you selfish in the relationship? 19 signs you’re being a user]

22. Leave the toilet seat up for the 200th time

Have you ever fallen into a toilet in the middle of the night? If you had, you wouldn’t ever leave the seat up again.

23. Don’t answer her questions

You might think her questions are silly, but she is asking them because she wants an answer. Simply looking at her while she is standing in front of you acting like she has a third head is not only going to get you the serious face, it is likely to get you the crazy eyes too. Just answer her damn question.

24. Mock her in front of people

If she did something stupid, keep it to yourself. Already feeling dumb enough, she doesn’t need you to continue to poke at her and make her feel worse about herself. You are supposed to be the one who has her back, so have it and stop putting a knife in it just for a laugh or two from your friends. [Read: 29 secrets to be way more masculine and manly without being an a-hole to others]

25. Looking or hitting on a younger, prettier version of her

The whole “you can look but not touch” isn’t cool. The truth is you shouldn’t look or touch, especially when she is right next to you.

Nothing makes a girl question your love and attractiveness more for her than if she catches you checking out some girl while you are with her. News flash, there are better-looking guys than you out there, but she wouldn’t disrespect you by having her tongue hanging out every time a beef-cake walked by.

26. Talk about how hot some other girls are

We all know that most girls aren’t Jessica Biel, but your girlfriend doesn’t need it thrown in her face. If you don’t want to get the serious face, then don’t talk about other hot women in front of her. It makes no difference if they are celebrities that you won’t ever meet. Realistically it might not be true, but your girlfriend likes to believe you only have eyes for her.

27. Don’t go outside the relationship for advice

We’ve touched on complaining about her behind her back, but this one is its own low. If you have a problem with her, keep it between you two. The minute you start to seek help from someone outside of the relationship you are betraying the trust that you have.

That will likely get you the serious face, especially if she finds out that your friends know private things about her that they shouldn’t. [Read: Trust issues in a relationship – 22 whys and ways to get over it together]

28. Flirt on social media sites

Guys, don’t be that a-hole who betrays their girlfriend on social media. Your conversations, your likes, the accounts you follow—they’re all public or very easy to find, so you’ll never get away with it.

If you are flirting with a girl via social media, then you need to quit it. You’re making your girlfriend feel insecure, betrayed, and cheated on. The serious face might not just be a sign of her annoyance, it might be a sign that she’s going to leave you. [Read: Social media and relationships – 47 rule, etiquette, and where couples go wrong]

29. Say you’re not in the mood only to be caught masturbating

Just like saying you don’t want to talk only to see you talking on the phone. If you haven’t had sex in a week, and you say that you aren’t in the mood, but she catches you in the shower getting all comfortable with yourself, don’t be surprised by her reaction.

Unless you’re honest about being too tired to perform on her, you’re basically just telling her you aren’t interested in her. That gets you more than the serious face; that will get you the seriously hurt face.

Foolproof Ways to Avoid Getting the Serious Face

We know you’re aiming to steer clear of the much-dreaded serious face, and you’re in luck! Here’s your go-to guide for navigating the choppy waters of communication and emotional understanding. By applying these tips, you’ll not only avoid that serious face but also deepen your connection with your partner.

1. Master active listening

Active listening goes beyond just hearing words; it’s about fully engaging with what she’s saying. That means no distractions, maintaining eye contact, and giving verbal and nonverbal feedback.

If she’s telling you about a stressful day at work: nod, ask relevant questions, and show genuine interest. This level of attentiveness shows you value her experiences, helping avoid that serious face of feeling unheard. [Read: How to be more attractive to women and 72 traits that make you very desirable]

2. Use ‘I’ statements to express feelings

When discussing issues, focus on your feelings rather than accusing. Say “I feel upset when…” instead of “You always make me upset by…”. This reduces defensiveness and opens up a more constructive dialogue.

Picture a scenario where you’re feeling neglected; framing it through your feelings helps her to understand your perspective without feeling attacked.

3. Validate her emotions

Acknowledge and validate her feelings, even if you don’t fully understand them. Saying something like, “I see you’re really upset about this, and that’s okay,” can be incredibly affirming.

Remember, validation doesn’t mean agreement; it’s about acknowledging her emotional experience. When she’s upset about something seemingly trivial, like a TV show character’s fate, acknowledging her feelings can prevent that serious face that comes from feeling dismissed.

4. Regularly check in with each other’s emotions

Make it a habit to regularly ask how she’s feeling or if anything’s on her mind. And at the same time, share any thoughts, gratitudes, or problems you’ve been thinking about. [Read: Husband material – 31 signs to split a boyfriend you date and a man you marry]

Think of these check-ins as a safety net to catch issues before they escalate. It doesn’t even have to be hard, just spend a few moments in the evening sharing your day’s highs and lows. This practice can preempt the serious face by addressing concerns early.

5. Share your vulnerabilities

We know it can be scary, but it can do your relationship so much good to open up about your feelings and vulnerabilities. It encourages a two-way street of emotional honesty and intimacy that sets you on the road to a lifelong fulfilling relationship.

If you’re anxious about a work project, sharing this with her makes you more relatable and approachable. It also prevents the serious face that comes from feeling disconnected. [Read: How to be vulnerable in a relationship, open up, and 28 secrets to grow closer]

6. Respect her boundaries

Understanding and respecting her boundaries is crucial. This includes physical, emotional, and digital boundaries. Suppose she needs some alone time; respecting this without taking offense can avoid the serious face stemming from feeling smothered.

7. Plan surprises and gestures of appreciation

Little surprises or tokens of appreciation can go a long way. It could be as simple as bringing home her favorite snack or leaving a sweet note. These gestures show thoughtfulness and care, preventing her from feeling unappreciated and you from meeting with the serious face.

8. Regularly express gratitude

Your girlfriend probably does a lot for you and your relationship, so verbally express your gratitude for her and all the effort she puts in.

This shouldn’t be saved for special occasions; frequent, sincere expressions of thanks strengthen the bond. A simple “Thank you for being you” can brighten her day and keep the serious face at bay.

9. Engage in shared activities

Participate in activities you both enjoy. This strengthens your bond and creates positive, shared experiences. Whether it’s a cooking class, a hiking trip, or binge-watching a series, shared activities can replace potential serious faces with smiles of genuine joy. [Read: 65 couples activities and fun things to do that’ll make you feel closer than ever]

10. Address conflicts promptly and respectfully

Don’t let conflicts fester. Address them respectfully and promptly. If you’re having a misunderstanding over plans, discussing it calmly and soon after it happens can prevent the buildup of resentment and the subsequent serious face. [Read: How to resolve conflict – the 20 best ways to cut out the drama]

That Serious Face is a Silent Signal of Hurt Feelings

If you’re aiming to dodge the serious face, it’s all about tuning into how your actions and words resonate with the woman you love. More often than not, that serious face is a silent signal of hurt feelings— a gentle nudge reminding you to pay a little more attention, listen a little more closely, and cherish a little more deeply.

[Read: 38 signs and traits of a happy relationship and what it should look like]

So, the next time you find yourself on the receiving end of a serious face, take a moment to reflect. It might just be the universe’s way of saying, “Hey, tune in, something’s off here.” And hey, isn’t it amazing how two people can learn to dance in rhythm, even if they occasionally step on each other’s toes?