Rebound Sex: 21 Reasons, Signs & Questions to Know If You’re Ready for It

Rebound sex might sound like a great idea at the time, but when you wake up the next morning – will you be satisfied or feeling a sense of regret?

Is rebound sex a good idea? Or is it a disastrous one?

There may be contradicting views on rebound sex, but more often than not, it’s not the idea that’s inherently good or bad; it’s the two people who are involved that make it either painful or enjoyable.

Rebound sex can work wonders for many ex-lovers who have just broken up. But on the other hand, it can also leave others more hurt and confused than ever! [Read: Rebound sex and why it’s the perfect answer to get over an ex instantly!]

What is rebound sex?

Rebound sex is a no strings attached sexual relationship between two people, and it involves at least one person who’s just had a break up. It’s been said many times that the best way to get over someone is by getting under someone else, and a rebound relationship works around that idea.

Say you have a hard time holding yourself back from contacting an ex or thinking about them all the time. So, you involve yourself in another relationship: a purely sexual one, to prevent more emotional drama. You do this to try and completely get over your ex by distracting yourself. [Read: 12 reasons why the no contact rule always works!]

Yes, rebound sex works, and it can work very well too. But there are circumstances where rebound sex can actually rebound on you – with damaging results.

Less commonly, rebound sex involves two people who have recently broken up with one another. In essence, they’re rebounding with one another, although they both know that it’s just one night and nothing else has changed. This is the unhealthy kind of rebound sex, because all it’s going to do is cause you both to re-live the pain of the breakup.

The most common reasons for rebound sex

Before we get to finding out if you’re ready for rebound sex, you need to ask yourself why you’re really getting yourself into this situation. What do you expect to get out of a rebound relationship with a stranger or a crush? [Read: Casual sex – How to find the hookup of your dreams]

Here are the most common reasons for rebound sex. Chances are, you may be experiencing one of these situations right now.

1. It’s an excuse

You tell the world *and maybe yourself* that you just need someone to get over your ex. In reality, deep inside, you’re just looking for a good excuse to sleep with random people. Maybe you felt restricted in your old relationship.

2. Revenge sex

You want your ex to burn. You want your ex to know you’re off having great sex with someone else, and you’re hoping that’ll piss them off – which it definitely will, if your ex is still in love with you! [Read: Is revenge sex ever worth the effort?]

3. To mask the emotional pain

You think having sex with someone new will help you feel better and quell the emotional pain you feel inside. Will it? Maybe, but more likely it won’t.

4. You want to break free

You just want to have fun. You’re sick and tired of wallowing in self-pity and you just want to fill your life with adventure and fun all over again. [Confession: I can’t wait to be single again!]

5. You’re horny

You crave sexual intimacy and you just plain miss having sex. You want to hold someone in your arms and experience the bliss of carnal pleasure, with someone… anyone!

6. You want a distraction

Your ex is running circles in your mind 24/7, and you just want to fill that space with something else. You want to stop thinking about your ex. You’re ready to take a big sexual step to push thoughts of your ex out of your mind at last.

7. You’re being reckless

You don’t know what you want. You’re confused and reckless. You aren’t thinking through your decisions and you’re just going with the flow. Your friends have told you rebound sex works, and you’re diving in headfirst without thinking if it’s right for you. [Read: The big signs you’re really love sick and ways to get out of it]

8. The ego boost

You’re low on self-confidence and you feel like a complete loser. You think hooking up with a sexy someone on a one night stand will make you feel better about yourself. It probably won’t boost your self-esteem – but it could!

Why do so many rebound hookups go wrong?

Rebound sex can be great to get over a break up. Instead of wondering if it’s good or bad as a practice, you need to focus on whether you’re ready for something like that. Of course, getting into the sack can help you get over someone – even if it’s just momentarily – but do you know where to draw the line?

Most people feel worse after rebound sex. This is not because rebound sex sucks, but because they get into something without asking themselves if they were ready for it in the first place. [Read: 15 rebound relationship signs to keep an eye on!]

You go into it expecting one great night, but then you end up stuck to the person you picked. Now you aren’t even sure if this is what you wanted in the first place. What happens now? You feel even worse than you did before. You’ve given yourself a major headache!

13 rebound sex questions to ask yourself before getting into it

Has the thought of having rebound sex with someone ever crossed your mind? Have you considered it, or even been excited by the idea? Here are 13 questions you need to ask yourself before you do anything at all.

If you can answer these questions right, perhaps you’re ready for rebound sex. On the other hand, if you can’t really answer a few of these questions, maybe you need another way to heal your aching heart. [Read: A step-by-step guide to getting a friend to have sex with you effortlessly]

1. Can you disassociate sex from love?

You may think this is easy. After all, you’re just having sex, not falling in love, right? But for many of us, we feel an intense connection with a person when we have passionate sex with them. And it gets worse if you’re a woman, because women usually have a harder time disassociating sex from love.

If you fall in love with your rebound, you’re going from the frying pan into the fire. And in the end you’ll feel worse, because your heart will be torn between two people who may never really love you back! [Read: 25 friends with benefits rules you always need to remember]

2. Are you in a rational frame of mind?

You may be a sweet and innocent young thing, just looking for a fling to heal your heart. But if you’re not sure what you want, and you can’t put a finger on why rebound sex is precisely the best way to get over your break up, you may find people taking advantage of your weakest moment.

Make sure that you know what you want and why you want it. Most importantly, make sure you can trust whoever you choose to get involved with.

You need to be clear in your mind, or as clear as you can be, before embarking upon rebound sex of any kind.

3. Do you compare?

Do you find yourself comparing your ex with your rebound all the time?

If you’re doing something like this, chances are, you aren’t really looking for someone new. Tou’re just looking for someone similar to your ex, to refill the ex-shaped void in your heart.

Remember, your rebound is someone you’re using to have fun, they’re not your ex’s replacement. [Read: 10 signs your past relationship is holding you back from having a happy life]

4. Do you think a rebound will heal you?

A rebound is a distraction, nothing more. Don’t jump into anyone’s bed in the hope that you’ll start to feel better as soon as you start having sex with them. It doesn’t work that way.

If you get into a rebound relationship with someone, you need to do it because the person you’re having sex with is good fun, and because you share sizzling sexual chemistry.

The sexual chemistry you feel may create a hint of infatuation, and the high of the infatuation will cheer you up. Keep in mind though, this isn’t a magical heartbreak cure.

5. Have you found the right person for a rebound?

You can’t have rebound sex with another ex, or someone you like too much. There’s a big chance that the physical intimacy will turn into problematic emotional intimacy very soon.

The best person for a rebound is someone who understands your needs but doesn’t have any long-term expectations from you. [Read: 10 casual relationship rules to keep it just casual]

6. Are you sure you want to move on?

Have you decided to move on for good? Don’t use a rebound relationship to get back with your ex, or to show them just how awesome you are.

Only use rebound sex to distract yourself, and get thoughts of your ex out of your mind. If you focus on the moving-on potential of rebound sex, it may work for you. But, if you have other reasons in the back of your mind, it may lead you to disaster instead.

7. Can you overcome the guilt?

If you still love your ex, you may feel terribly guilty when you have sex with someone else. Your mind may convince you that having sex with your rebound is cheating, especially if you’re still in love with your ex.

Moreover, if you don’t turn out to like the sexual experience you have with your rebound, you may feel dirty and used.

Of course, you didn’t cheat and you didn’t actually do anything wrong, but emotions are funny *and misleading* things. [Read: 16 scenarios when you can and can’t ever be friends with an ex]

8. Are you actually excited to have a rebound “relationship”?

Does that thought excite you and make you happy? If the idea of having sex with someone else, or even meeting someone else with the intention of having sex makes you happy, well, good for you.

It’s a happy sign that you are indeed interested in moving on, instead of pining over your ex.

9. Can you avoid falling in love with this person?

This is something you need to keep in mind. A person who is interested in your rebound arrangement needs to be interested in you only because of the sex you’re offering them.

You’re using them to get over your ex, and they’re using you to have sex with a hottie! The odds of something like this turning into mutual love are slim. Are you strong enough to avoid catching feelings? [Read: 19 sure signs of falling in love to watch out for!]

10. Ask yourself why you want to do this

Be truthful to yourself, and don’t lie. You can have rebound sex with someone to get over an ex, but if that’s your only intention, you’ll feel worse the very minute you orgasm.

Use rebound sex as a distraction while your heart heals. Use the distraction to unhook the hooks that your ex has left behind in your heart. Rebound sex won’t heal you, but time will.

11. Are you sexually attracted to your rebound?

You should be. If you’re having sex with someone you’re attracted to and like as a person, the chances are, you’ll feel good about yourself.

On the other hand, if you have sex with someone you’re not attracted to just for the sake of having rebound sex, you may not enjoy what you’re doing and you’ll feel worse about yourself. [Read: 13 lusty signs of sexual attraction to keep an eye on]

12. Do you know where to draw the line?

Many guys and girls looking for a rebound just don’t know the answer to this question. They get carried away and end up getting into a mess, or feeling bad about themselves.

Look at rebound sex as a discreet short-term relationship with no strings attached, not as a one night stand where you hop and jump from one person to another.

Remember, this is your weak moment, and there will always be several opportunists – people who have a crush on you, and even so-called friends – waiting to use you and abuse you as soon as the word gets out that you’re looking for a casual fling.

13. Do you honestly think it’ll work for you?

You’re the only person who can answer this. Rebound sex doesn’t work for many people because they’re not clear in their minds before jumping into a fling.

Try to heal your broken heart by meeting friends and having fun with them. If that doesn’t work, you can try to look for a rebound as a last resort.

After all, rebound relationships are effective, but they’re like landmines for a weak and broken heart! [Read: How to move on and deal with a break up with a smile]

The takeaway point? Don’t rush into rebound sex

If you’re sure rebound sex is just what you’re looking for, approach the idea of rebound sex as a casual date.

Take your time, flirt with your rebound, have fun and try to have a nice time when both of you are together. Do this instead of trying to make rebound sex seem like a sleazy arrangement. Chances are, you may start to feel better about yourself very soon.

Can some rebound sex arrangements turn into more? In some very rare cases, yes. But, never hang around and hope for this.

If you start to feel any kind of emotion towards the person you’re enjoying sex with, stop and move on. If it’s meant to be, it’ll find you, but don’t go looking for it, and don’t wait around for it either!

[Read: The most important things to keep in mind when you run into your ex!]

So, are you ready to have unforgettable rebound sex to get over your unforgettable ex? These questions will definitely help you figure that answer out for yourself!