Prolonged Eye Contact When Flirting: What it Means & How to Do it

We think we all know that if someone is making eye contact with you, it’s for a reason. Sometimes it’s to get your attention, other times it means they find you attractive, and most often, it means they’re flirting. This is especially true if it’s prolonged eye contact.

While it can feel weird to engage in prolonged eye contact, it’s actually a flirting tactic you should most definitely use in your dating life. Growing up, we were always told that staring is rude. We learned not to look at someone for too long but as we got older, we couldn’t help it.

But this is no longer accurate as adults, especially when you take advantage of eye contact in your flirting skills.

[Read: 15 obvious signs of flirting you just can’t ignore]

Flirting power play moves that make all the difference

In the world of dating, flirting plays a huge role. You have to be able to flirt effectively if you want to find someone to spend your life with. If you can’t, you’ll just end up making things awkward and running away with a face the shade of a tomato. But if you’ve flirted before, you know it’s easier said than done.

What you envision in your head usually comes out differently in an actual scenario. A coy smile is something that’ll attract almost anyone you aim it at. Biting your bottom lip is a really flirty move that makes a person think about kissing you.

And last but not least, prolonged eye contact can get you noticed anywhere. [Read: 30 subtle, obvious, and really sexy flirting tips to seduce anyone!]

You’ve probably heard the saying that the eyes are the window to the soul, and that’s an accurate statement. This is why when looking at someone you love, your pupils are also dilated *according to science*. So when you engage in prolonged eye contact, it can be considered flirting, especially when doing it to someone you barely know.

Maybe there’s someone across the bar who’s been looking at you for a significant period or it could be that person at the coffee shop. This is precisely where prolonged eye contact becomes one of the initial ways to flirt with someone *effectively*. It works and it makes them notice you right off the bat! [Read: 13 subtle eye contact flirting tips to catch someone’s eye from afar]

Not everyone who makes eye contact with you is trying to do the same thing. First, you have to know just what it means before you can learn how to perfect eye contact while flirting.

1. They’re trying to communicate something subtly

Don’t make the mistake of thinking everyone who makes prolonged eye contact with you is trying to flirt. Sometimes they may be trying to convey something to you silently. If someone is making eye contact with you and also raising their eyebrows in a way that seems NOT flirty, they may be trying to tell you something.

Despite the purpose of this feature, eye contact isn’t always a way to flirt with you. It can be in various ways, which is why it’s important to pay attention to body language. So focus and try to decipher it to read the right signs! [Read: 13 ways to express your feelings without using words]

2. They think you’re attractive

This is the one that may seem the most obvious, but you could get it mixed up. When someone is giving you prolonged eye contact that’s also accompanied by a smile or even a wink, it means they’re attracted to you.

However, people may be giving you some serious eye contact and not showing any other signs of attraction simply because they’re nervous.

If this is the case, give them a little smile and see what they do. If they smile or their face turns red, it’s attraction. [Read: Different types of attraction – Which is most vital for true love?]

3. They’re trying to get your attention

This could be because they think you’re hot and want to talk to you, but not always. When someone is making eye contact, it’s because they want you to look at them. Remember what we said about flirting with a stranger? This could be the case if they’re trying to get your attention and get your eyes on them.

Since humans have an urge to look one another in the eye, it’s the easiest way for someone to get your attention. So go ahead, look at them back and maybe even give them the attention they seek from you. [Read: How to get a guy’s attention no matter where you are]

4. They’re just not paying attention

Do you ever zone out on something and end up staring at that object or person for a prolonged amount of time? Well, that may be what’s happening when you see someone looking at you and making eye contact for a long time. Maybe it’s not that they’re flirting, but they’re just zoning out, distracted, and thinking of something else!

If you notice them staring at just one spot for a long period and they have a kind of a vacant expression, they’re definitely not trying to flirt, but they simply zoned out. This is why body language really is so important!

5. They’re trying to flirt with you

This is the most obvious. If someone is giving you prolonged eye contact while also showing you other signs of attraction, it’s definitely flirting. If you’ve gotten to this point and the other signs above aren’t true for you, then they’re most definitely flirting.

The good news is that this gives you the go-ahead to walk up to them and chat – so long as you’re into them, too. If you’re not, keep your own eyes averted. [Read: 15 ways to know for sure if they’re flirting with you]

The tricky part about flirting using prolonged eye contact is that if not done correctly, it can be a little creepy and off-putting. Have no fear! We’re here to show you just how to perfect this move.

1. Start by sending looks their way

Don’t immediately hit them with some prolonged eye contact. You’ll freak them out if you do that. Instead, just send them some flirty glances that last just a second every now and then. Look at them every now and then, but don’t be a total creep while doing so!

We guarantee this will do the trick in making them notice you. Bring out your inner 13-year-old and shyly look away once they catch you. [Read: How to flirt with your eyes and catch anyone’s attention in the room]

2. Let them see you checking them out

Then, after a few glances their way, let them see you fully checking them out. From top to bottom, let your eyes glaze over them. This isn’t prolonged eye contact just yet, but these moves can help you build the sexual tension immediately!

So when you check them out, that’s still flirting. And this time around, don’t look away when they catch you. In fact, don’t try to make eye contact with them just yet at all. Just look their way, and look them up and down or stare at a particular part of their body for a second or more. [Read: How to tell if a woman is checking you out: 9 signs you can’t miss]

3. Bite your lip and look away coyly

After you’ve looked them up and down – and they’ve seen you do just that – bite your lip lightly and look away. This is a move that’s super sexy and alluring. They’ll see that you’re interested and it’ll spark their attention. You’ve probably seen all romantic movies where lip biting is portrayed, right?

It’s such a subtle yet sexy move, which is what makes it so effective. The key to this flirty move is to make sure they see it. If you nail down this move, the rest is a piece of cake. [Read: 15 secrets of seduction to turn anyone on]

4. Then move your eyes to theirs and hold their gaze

So far, you’ve accomplished looking away shyly. Take a few seconds before you look over at them and lock eyes. They may not be looking at you immediately, but be patient. If you’ve done your job and they saw you bite your lip, their eyes will definitely be wandering back in your direction in no time.

This is where the magic happens, but this time around, don’t shy away from prolonged eye contact when you reach this step. Take every moment of it and just hold their gaze. How it for as long as you can without breaking the gaze *a few seconds to even 10 seconds if they’re staring at you for that long!*. [Read: 13 lusty signs of sexual attraction to keep an eye on]

5. Give them the faintest smile while holding their line of site

What use is prolonged eye contact without a smile, right? After a few seconds of them meeting your eyes and not looking away, give them the slightest smile. Something with teeth may be too much. Make it subtle enough to let them know that smile is directed at them.

If they smile in return, you’ve hooked them! [Read: How to look fabulous while trying to catch someone’s attention]

The trick for this is to make sure it’s subtle enough so it doesn’t seem creepy and desperate. Just be natural, we’re sure they’ll love it! Your eye contact and smile should be subtle enough to make them want to talk to you afterward *and maybe even get to know you*. 

[Read: How to walk up to someone you like and talk to them – Get them to notice you and get impressed all at once]

6. Use the 50/70 rule

When you begin engaging in a conversation with them, don’t lose prolonged eye contact. Maintain eye contact during 50% of the conversation when speaking, and 70% when listening. The reason for this is you want to make them feel acknowledged and heard when they’re talking.

Eye contact is one of the most vital aspects of being a good listener and communication, which is exactly why you shouldn’t ignore this.

7. You don’t have to look at their eyes every time

When engaging in prolonged eye contact, it doesn’t have to be at their eyes directly. It can be just a spot near their eyes like their nose or mouth. They might get too uncomfortable when you stare at their eyes directly without blinking, so make sure not to overdo it!

Remember that you’re flirting, so holding your gaze is pointless if you already make them uncomfortable initially. First impressions are everything, after all. [Read: Eye fucking – Master the art and get them to eye fuck you back]

8. Use the triangle technique

If you’re someone awkward or shy with holding eye contact, this method works great, especially for flirting with someone! This technique is also used for when you’re about to kiss someone, which is how we know it works!

So the triangle method is basically you creating a triangle while looking at their face. Casually focus on one eye first for a few seconds, and then stare into the other eye for a few more seconds. And finally, look down at their lips for a few seconds. And repeat the steps again. Remember to blink normally though, and they won’t realize why everything feels so sexual all of a sudden!

It’s called the triangle technique because it’s as ifs there’s an imaginary inverted triangle on their face, and those are the spots you look at every few seconds.

9. Use body language

As we said above, body language really is everything. So in holding prolonged eye contact when flirting, use gestures. Especially as you’ll start to look pretty creepy just staring at them without any gestures *thus the reason for the smile afterward*! So nod, smile, and especially use gestures even when you’re both talking already.

[Read: How to flirt by touch without making it obvious at all]

Flirting can be a challenging thing for some of us, and this isn’t limited to engaging in eye contact.

It’s an underrated trick, but eye contact really is a powerful way to flirt with someone. Accompanied with body language, it’s totally effective in grabbing someone’s attention.

[Read: 23 intense signs of unspoken mutual attraction between two people]

Knowing how to make prolonged eye contact with someone in a flirty way can help you immensely. With these tricks, you’ll benefit from it in your dating life in no time!