Pegging: How to Try It, 48 Tips, Myths & the Best Strap On Sex Positions

If you’re feeling adventurous in the bedroom, then you might want to try pegging. Here is everything you need to know to strap-in for strap-on sex tonight!

Sometimes, women want to reciprocate on their man what they do to them. And sometimes, men want done to them what they do to their girlfriends. Do you know what we mean? In short, some straight couples love pegging!

But before you start going in deep *pun intended*, you need to learn what you’re getting into *and again!*.

In this feature, we’ll go into everything you need to know about the role-reversing sex act, clear up some myths and misconceptions, and teach you the safe and oh-so-fun ways to bring pegging into the bedroom.

Because yes, pegging is definitely something some men desire. It’s also a really sexy way to spice up your love life. [Read: 46 sizzling sex life secrets to spice up your bedroom and leave you horny 24/7]

What is pegging?

If you’ve never heard of this word before, you might be scratching your head over what it means. Pegging is a form of anal sex where a woman penetrates her male partner in the anus with a strap-on dildo. 

It’s anal sex in a reversed role. Shocked? Don’t be. Nowadays, more and more couples are easing into anal play. And this time, guys aren’t always the “giver.” [Read: 17 benefits of anal sex that’ll make you and your bum wanna bend over]

Pegging FAQs answered

Asking the boyfriend to bend over might be a shocker at first, especially if you’re the traditional type of couple. However, those who are sexually curious enough to have the guts to try can vouch for its number of exciting benefits!

You’re new to the pegging world, so it’s normal to have questions. Here are the most common ones, and the answers you need:

1. Wait, isn’t this a form of BDSM? 

Yes and no. While BDSM role-playing occasionally incorporates pegging in its routine, most straight couples do pegging without all the ropes, chains, leathers, and painful pleasure. 

Pegging is simply a role reversal during anal sex, and you can do pegging in a normal sexual setting.

It may also include elements of femdom or female domination where the female takes a more dominant and active role during sex.

Essentially, pegging can be whatever you want it to be, whether that’s an addition to your sexual repertoire within your marriage or the basis of a femdom–male-sub dynamic. [Read: Facts you think you know about BDSM debunked]

2. Isn’t pegging a form of gay sex? 

Definitely not! As mentioned, pegging is specifically defined for heterosexual couples, hence the strap-on dildo. The main point of pegging is the role reversal. 

Just because it involves a man’s anus doesn’t mean it’s gay. After all, male gay couples wouldn’t necessarily need a strap-on for penetrative sex!

3. Are guys into anal play considered bisexual or have gay tendencies? 

No. This kind of negative view on anal sex is pretty unfounded and causes a negative view of anal play. [Read: 35 signs to tell if a guy is gay and what to do if your boyfriend is bisexual]

First, bisexuals are people who get attracted to both their own and the opposite sex so pegging has nothing to do with it. On the other hand, guys who are interested in anal play are not automatically gay but are merely sexually explorative. 

Anal play = gay is mostly attributed to the traditional male image which is kind of outdated nowadays. Guys have the right to enjoy anal pleasure too.

Strap-on sex myths

As with anything in life, pegging and strap-ons have a lot of myths surrounding them. Let’s take a look at the most common ones, and just how wrong they are. [Read: 25 femdom secrets to be a dominatrix mistress and dominate a man in bed]

1. Bigger is better

The age-old question, “Is bigger better?” is something that most men wonder about. Of course, everyone has their own opinion of this. But bigger really isn’t necessarily better. 

Remember the strap-on is going into his anus, which is not as flexible as a vagina. It’s not built to have a penis put inside it. So, having a large strap-on may not be the most comfortable experience for him.

2. Strapping it on means you have penis envy

Another age-old concept, that we have Sigmund Freud to thank for, is the idea that women have penis envy. [Read: Do women ever get penis envy? The truth revealed!]

If you’re not familiar with this concept, it’s the idea that women wish they had a penis so they could have the same kind of pleasure that man gets with one.

But just because a woman puts a strap-on around her hips in order to peg her man doesn’t mean that she really wants a penis for herself. And it doesn’t mean that she is transgender or has some other form of conflict with her gender identity.

3. There’s no pleasure for the giver

Obviously, a man gets pleasure when he penetrates a vagina or an anus. That’s because his penis is a natural part of his body and so he has a lot of good sensations. [Read: 19 signs of a taker in a relationship – are you a taker or a giver?]

So, a lot of people think that it’s not as enjoyable for a woman because she can’t feel any sensations through the strap-on. But just because she can’t feel any physical sensations through the strap-on doesn’t mean that she doesn’t get emotional pleasure out of it.

4. All harnesses are created equal

There are a lot of varieties and types of strap-ons and dildos in the world. And they’re not all created equal.

Some are large in girth and some are smaller. And some strap on differently than others. So, you will have to do some experimentation and find which strap-on works the best for both of you. [Read: How to use a dildo and give yourself an explosive happy ending]

5. If you don’t get it right the first time, it’s not for you

Just like with anything in life, the first time isn’t always the best. Think back to the first time you ever had sex as a virgin. You’re probably a lot better at it now than you were then.

The same is true for pegging. It’s going to take some practice before you get it right and you both start experiencing a lot of pleasure from it. So, don’t give up if you really want to enjoy the act of pegging.

What’s in it for the guy? 

Our views around male sexuality can be quite rigid sometimes. Dominating, in-control, stoic—we can all agree that this is how we imagine a traditional man in the bedroom. [Read: 31 new things to try in bed with your lover at least once]

But newsflash, men want to be sexually open-minded and explorative too. So, what exact perks can a guy expect from pegging?

1. Experiencing a submissive role

In heterosexual sex, the guy is mostly the dominant half and does all the moving. He is considered the “giver” because he obviously possesses the tool of the trade. 

But during pegging, the guy gets a firsthand experience of being on the “receiving” end of sexual intercourse and feels what his partner feels during sex. [Read: Strap in and kink out – your guide to having submissive sex]

2. It feels physically good for him and you

Pegging gives a guy a lot of anal pleasure. The reason for this is simple: the prostate. Men have the prostate gland located a few inches inside their anal cavity. 

When a strap-on is inserted, it stimulates the prostate gland and gives them intense pleasure. It can even make them have an orgasm through penetration alone.

Frankly speaking, pleasure is the first thing that invites curious guys to try pegging. There’s a whole different kind of pleasure to be derived from anal play—for guys specifically, it’s a prostate orgasm. [Read: Male g-spot – what it is and 28 positions, tips, and secrets to find and stimulate it]

3. It flips the script

Most couples are used to their power dynamic when it comes to sex because that’s all they know. But have you ever wondered what it’s like to be a man and penetrate another person as he does? And has he ever wondered what it is like to be penetrated? 

Pegging flips the normal script of the power dynamics of your sexual relationship. You can become the penetrator, and he becomes the penetratee. It’s a good way to understand each other’s sexual roles better.

4. It can be used during BDSM play

If you are into some kinky sex such as BDSM, then it can be used along with some other things you want to do. [Read: BDSM tips and tricks for curious first-timers]

For example, you can tie him up or blindfold him before you peg him. Using pegging amongst all your other BDSM activities can be an extremely pleasurable experience for both of you. 

What’s in it for the girl? 

For women, the main driving force behind a pegging interest is the role reversal aspect. Namely, the more dominant and active role during sex that she finally gets to experience. 

She suddenly becomes the giver of pleasure which gives a sense of empowerment, in addition to experiencing the role that her partner usually takes. [Read: What does sex feel like for a girl and the reasons why it feels so good]

In terms of physical pleasure, there are special kinds of strap-on sex toys catered for pegging couples.

Some of these provide mutual pleasure in the form of a vibrator built into the harness so she gets pleasure while she plows through her man. But for some, just watching their partner feel pleasure is more than enough motivation to strap on.

How to use a strap-on

If you’ve never tried pegging or used a strap-on before, there are some things you will need to know so you know how to use it right. [Read: 15 common types of sex toys all singles and couples must know about]

1. Come prepared with the right toys

First, you want to make sure that you have the right equipment. You will want to have a dildo, strap-on harness, and lots of lube. Some optional sexcessories like a vibrating cock ring, bullet vibrator, and wearable vaginal vibrator can also be used. 

Which strap-on you use can make or break your experience, both from a comfort standpoint and from an ease-of-use standpoint. Just remember that the man’s prostate isn’t very far in their body, so you don’t need anything huge to get the job done.

2. Wear the strap-on around before using it

It helps a lot to wear the strap-on around before you use it for the first time during sex. You should give yourself time to get familiar with what it’s like to wear a harness because it’s going to feel strange. [Read: 26 sexy secrets to be dominant in bed, control your partner, and not hurt them]

So, just wear it around the house as you do your normal activities such as chores around the house or watching a movie! It sounds weird, but the more comfortable you are with it on, the easier it will be when you use it on your man.

3. Watch videos of people using strap-ons

If this is your first time trying pegging—or even if it’s not—it’s very useful to watch some videos of people using the strap-ons. You will probably find this in porn, but it’s best to watch some amateur videos too. 

The reason this is better than professional porn is that real people are more likely to have better tips. Plus, you can pick up on certain techniques and see how people get creative with them. [Read: Things women like in porn and the best female-friendly porn sites for girls]

4. Use your hands to control it

You might think that wearing a strap-on to peg your man is a hands-free activity. But that doesn’t mean that it will do what you want it to do. A strap-on isn’t as easy to control as a real penis. 

So, if something isn’t working right, don’t be afraid to use your hands to adjust it. You need to make sure it goes in correctly and hits the spots that he enjoys.

5. Try strap-friendly positions

When you’re new at pegging, you’re not going to be able to get very wild with different sex positions. So, it’s best to stick with the basic ones that make you both comfortable. [Read: The most common sex positions and sexy ways to spice them up to expert level]

You could try missionary, doggy style, standing, or lying down on his stomach—all of which are good positions to try at first. Just find something that feels good and natural. 

6. Stop worrying about what you look like

It’s easy to get self-conscious about how you look when you have a strap-on around your hips. But try not to think of that and instead focus on the pleasure that you’re giving your man.

Sometimes the positions that feel good to him don’t necessarily look good either. So, don’t worry about not looking sexy. He will be more focused on the experience than on how you look. [Read: Insecure women – 54 signs, causes, things men do, and secrets to feel secure]

How to get started with the actual act of pegging

Now that you know how to use a strap-on in theory, let’s apply that knowledge to reality!

If you’re new to the world of pegging, strap into your strap-on and pay attention. We’re about to get into all the details about having strap-on sex you’ll ever need. 

Buckle down and get ready to learn what it takes to make your man cum with the assistance of a strap-on dildo. [Read: How to spice up your relationship – 30 sexy ways to feel loved and horny]

1. Make sure he’s open to the idea

Obviously, you can’t peg your man if he’s not into the idea. He has to be open to it. It’s even better if it’s his idea in the first place.

However, if you’re the one looking to get your kicks with this type of sex, convince him how great it will feel and get him open to the idea first. [Read: How to open up about sex and get your partner to share their desires]

2. Talk about it thoroughly

Just like any new or extreme form of sexual activity, you and your partner should discuss it thoroughly first. 

One of you can bring it up casually and express your interest in trying it. You should then discuss how you intend to do it and make your boundaries clear before engaging. [Read: Top 20 sexual taboos and sex topics most of us love but never talk about!]

3. Ease him up

The first thing you need to do to prepare him for pegging is to ease him up into anal play. During your next session, try to fiddle with his anus a little bit, and check his comfort, pleasure, and pain boundaries prior to actual pegging.

Some guys want the outer anal area played with but can’t handle anal penetration. So start him slow and carefully incorporate anal play during sex to prepare him for pegging.

4. Cleanliness is key

The thing about pegging your man is that it can be a bit messy—for understandable reasons. If you want to make the most of it, make sure he’s clean and ready to go back there. 

Have him empty himself and take a shower. It’ll make the process much smoother and you’ll both enjoy it more. [Read: Cock ring – what it does, how to use it, and 24 secrets to rock-hard penis bliss]

Even if your strap-on has the FDA’s highest praise, you still need to practice proper hygiene when engaging in pegging. Always clean your persons and equipment after sex and store your toys properly.

5. Lube it up

The more lube, the better in this situation. Don’t even attempt to have strap-on sex with your man without it. 

Women’s vaginas have this pretty cool built-in lube feature. Unfortunately, your man’s anus has no such feature, so you’re going to need a lot of lube to make up for that.

Keep a bottle handy and use it as much as needed. Communicate with each other so you know if you need to add more, too. [Read: How to use lube to liven up your sex life instantly]

6. Get in the mood for fun

If either of you are nervous to plunge into the unknown, a drink or two never hurt anyone prior to some pegging. This is supposed to be fun, so loosen up a little!

If both of you are new to pegging, it can be a little scary. Setting the mood for a good time can help relax the both of you. Just limit yourself to one or two drinks, as alcohol can make trying anything new dangerous.

7. Warm up that area

Don’t just dive right in with your strap-on. You have to loosen up the area a bit. You prefer to have your lady bits warmed up before penetration, right? 

Well, the same goes for him. Get some anal play going and prep him to be pegged. [Read: Foreplay ideas for him – 29 moves to get a guy mad-horny with ease]

8. Relax a little

Or a lot. Strap on sex relies a LOT on relaxing. If your man is uptight… well, he’ll be too tight. It won’t work. 

Find a way for the two of you to unwind and relax together. Maybe give him a hot oil massage—and finish with a happy ending.

9. Slow and steady

Take your time with this. There’s no need to rush into it and go as fast as you can. Slowly easing into it is how you can communicate and know just what the other wants.

Remember, just as you want your man to be gentle to you during anal sex, you should consider the same thing for him. And keep in mind that you’re wearing a synthetic dick, so you’d better be careful when traipsing through your man’s back door.

Anuses are meant to get things out, not in, so make sure that you’re not too rough when penetrating him. [Read: How to have anal sex and 51 bum must-knows to prepare for your first time]

10. Keep the line of communication open

Communicating during this time is crucial. You just won’t make it work right without it. You both need to be willing and able to tell the other what you want. He has to be willing to tell you what feels good and what doesn’t so you can adjust. You can also regularly check in with him and ask how it feels.

Make sure you discuss your fears *if you have any* about it and what excites you. It’s important to have empathy and understand each other’s point of view.

11. Have fun with it and try new positions

Everyone has a certain position that’ll feel better. If the one you and your man start out in just isn’t doing it for him, try something new. [Read: 29 best sex positions for small penis owners to go deep and hit the spot]

This is supposed to be fun! You’re exploring new sexual activities. So let loose and have a good time if you want to make the most of it.

12. He should experiment on himself first

If your man hasn’t tried anal penetration before, he should start with “anal training” on his own. There are specialized kits that include dildos that gradually increase in size to help him take in larger objects in a safe, comfortable way.

It might be best if he did this alone at first before he tries it with you. [Read: 47 best male masturbation techniques, positions, toys, and fun ways to jerk off]

It can be easier for some people to try it alone at first, so they aren’t so nervous and won’t feel as vulnerable when the time comes to do it with their partner.

Strap-on and pegging positions

Now that you know all about how to do pegging right and how to get your man to enjoy it, you need to know some positions you can try:

1. Rodeo rider 

Wearing the strap-on, the woman can also reach up and stimulate her partner’s penis with their hands.

This is great for him because not only does he have the stimulation of all of the sensitive nerves in his anus and prostate, his penis is getting attention too. [Read: 18 hot male erogenous zones and places to touch a guy most girls don’t know]

2. Spooning strap-on position

Lay behind him and enter him from the spoon position. Depending on your height difference, you can put a pillow or two under his hips to elevate him for easy access on his side. [Read: Spooning sex position – 20 sexy moves and hot reasons to spoon in bed]

He can back into you or you can give it to him. Allow him to be in control of the speed and depth of penetration because there is the potential to cause him pain if you’re not doing it correctly.

3. Modified missionary

Most people think of the missionary position as the traditional way that most couples have sex. But many men enjoy it when they are getting pegged, too. 

But in order to do this, you’ll have to have your partner lift his legs and bend his knees so you can get closer when pegging him. Grabbing his legs can help you find your leverage. [Read: Missionary sex position – what it is and 32 secrets and variations to make it hot!]

4. Strap-on doggy

The doggy style seems like the go-to position when it comes to pegging.

But it can actually be quite difficult if you’ve never tried pegging before. Have your man lie on his stomach or on all fours, and enter him from behind. This gives deeper penetration for him.

5. Supported strap-on doggy 

For this pegging position, you should assume the classic doggy position but have the man rest his upper body on a sex position pillow. That way, he is supported and it will be more comfortable for him.

6. Reverse rodeo 

The reverse rodeo pegging position is essentially the reverse cowgirl. He can be on top as you lie on your back. [Read: Reverse cowgirl sex position – what it is, and how to ride in sexy style]

Then he can lower himself on the strap-on at his own speed and he can control the depth, too. This is interesting because it can give you both an appreciation of switching roles when it comes to the cowgirl.

7. G whizz/P whizz 

Use a sex pillow or some regular pillows to elevate the receiving partner’s hips. This is particularly helpful if neither of you has tried pegging before. It helps support his hips and provides some comfort too.

8. Backdoor bliss strap-on position 

The man lies on his front, allowing him to relax into the position. [Read: Tips and techniques that can make doggy style your favorite sex position]

Then you can straddle him and enter him slowly from behind. This could be a particularly vulnerable position for him because he isn’t able to move very well and it positions you as the more dominant partner.

9. The standing plunge 

He rests on the edge of the bed and she stands in front of him. When he lifts his legs up high to rest on her shoulders, it leaves the ass area more exposed which allows for easier penetration. 

He can either hold his legs, or he can sit on his hands to prop his buttocks in place for insertion. [Read: 45 minxy sex moves and positions to impress a guy and blow his mind in bed!]

How to make it more enjoyable for him

If your man is reluctant and even a little nervous to give pegging a try, here are a few ways you can help him relax:

1. Let him know how into it you are

He needs to know that you’re having fun too. You’re not getting any sexual stimulation if you’re pegging him. 

Which means he might be concerned that you’re not having fun. All that worrying won’t make it very fun for him. [Read: How to talk dirty – 36 sexy tips and 55 examples to turn anyone on with words]

2. Make sure he knows it’s a no-judgment zone

You’re pegging him. There should be zero judgment. 

If he knows that you’re not sitting there thinking badly of him for liking it or making certain sounds, he’ll be able to relax more, and therefore, he’ll have a much better time.

3. Keep the mood light and playful

Getting too serious about something like this can ruin the mood. He might be worried and uncomfortable if things take on a serious edge. [Read: 26 sexy, dirty, freaky things to say and do in bed]

For that reason, try to keep the mood light and be really playful. Keep the flirtatious energy alive so it’s not so uptight.

4. Ask what he wants from you

This is very important. Even if you try to keep the communication open, he might be shy. He may not want to open up about what he wants you to do.

So ask him. If he sees that you’re willing to do what he wants, it’ll allow him to relax and enjoy himself more. He’ll ask for what he wants and you’ll be able to give it to him. [Read: How to talk dirty to a guy and 36 secrets to arouse him with the sexiest words]

5. Enjoy yourself

Pegging your lover is something you should love. He’s giving you full control and trusting you deeply. He’s allowing you to go where no one else has.

When he’s allowing himself to be in a vulnerable position with you, he’s showing you his love. So, enjoy that! Enjoy the power and revel in it. He’ll see that and it’ll make it all the more better for him.

What are the health and safety risks of pegging? 

The risks involved are similar to the risks in normal anal sex. [Read: STDs 101 – the most common types and their symptoms]

However, since you’re using a foreign object for penetration, there’s an additional risk of injury and infection especially if your strap-on dildo came from a shop with questionable manufacturing. 

So, just to be clear, here’s what you need to remember:

1. Choose the right and safe equipment – Check for the quality of the dildo and the lube prior to use.

2. Proper hygiene – To avoid any tainted toys, guys should clean themselves up prior to sex.

3. Clean your equipment – before and after use. Needless to say, stuff that goes through door number two can be extra filthy.

4. Be extra gentle during penetration – Being a guy doesn’t mean you can be extra rough on him. Anuses are made up of the same vulnerable flesh, male or female.

[Read: Weird sex – the strangest and wildest sex acts you may want to try]

Switching roles does not only give that extra kink in your sex life but creates a bond between you and your partner by experiencing what it’s like to be in their place. Just remember to bring extra lube when you’re pegging him!