Nude Photos Got Leaked?! A Guide on Damage Control & the Next Sane Steps

So your nudes have been leaked. It’s a nightmare, but you can still bounce back. Here’s how to recover when your privates become public.

It seems like a new celebrity sexting scandal pops up every week, with racy photos leaking all over the Internet. As a society, we seem to shrug off these unfortunate celebrity nude scandals as something crazy or self-indulgent happening in Hollywood. But what if your nudes got leaked?

If it happens to an average Joe like you, it can destroy your privacy. Plus, it can spark family turmoil, bullying, trust issues, and even suicides.

Sexting trends mean people send nudes without properly understanding sexting privacy… or how to cope with a breach.

If a disgusting hacker or a douchebag ex has leaked your nudes, don’t despair. You can rise above anything, so don’t give this jerk the satisfaction of ruining your life over one little blip.

This feature will show you what to do if your nudes leak, and how to recover. After all, this isn’t your fault, and YOU shouldn’t feel embarrassed for THEIR actions.

[Read: 35 super confident ways to be a bitch, own it, and take charge of your life]

How to bounce back after your nudes got leaked

Right now, it may seem like your world is crashing down all around you. But there are ways to do damage control if your naked pictures leak on the internet.

If you follow these steps, you can take back your power from the person who betrayed your trust. But always remember: this isn’t your fault.

You shared your nudes under the assumption that no one else would see them. If somebody betrays your privacy, that’s their crime. The only thing you’re responsible for right now is protecting yourself, and healing.

So, let’s break down the most important things you should do to bounce back after your nudes leak. [Read: Psychopath – how to recognize them, types, and 39 ways to cope]

1. Take a breath and reflect

First, breathe. Take some time to think: you are not to blame. Our society has a tendency, especially with women, to play the blame game.

If a woman suffers assault, people ask what she was wearing. If her nude photos leak, they say she deserved it for putting her photos out there in the first place. However, they’re totally wrong.

Of course, it’s true that the best way to avoid having a nude scandal is not taking nudes. But the fact is that a huge number of people send naked photos or suggestive texts in a relationship, with no consequences.

They trust the recipient, and that trust isn’t broken. So why are you being slut-shamed just because you’ve been betrayed? [Read: Narcissistic abuse – what it is, types, and 58 signs a narcissist is abusing you]

We are all human, and we all do things we regret. Should you suffer for taking nudes? No! Does your sexting mean that you’re a slut, and deserve to lose your dignity? Never! The one who leaked your photos is to blame, not you.

2. Tell your parents

Alright, so it’s never fun to tell our parents when we’ve done something admittedly stupid or embarrassing.

But this awkwardness skyrockets whenever it has anything to do with sexuality. When her nudes leaked, Jennifer Lawrence said she’d rather lose her Hunger Games fees than call her dad and tell him about her leak. It’s never an easy thing to do.

However, it’s always in your best interest to tell your parents and the authorities. If you can’t face your parents, tell trusted teachers, a counselor, or the police what has happened.

Not only might they be able to do something to right the situation, but they’ll also offer comfort and support during an emotionally trying time in your life.

[Read: The guilt free ways to handle guilt trippers in your life]

3. Surround yourself with people you trust

As we’ve said, surrounding yourself with trusted friends and family can only help you right now. While it may be a little embarrassing at first, leaning on your support system will help you gain a bit of stability after seeing your nude photos in public.

After all, everybody makes mistakes. There have been too many bullying and sexting-related suicides for you to keep yourself hidden away from the world.

Be a warrior. Be a survivor! Surround yourself with the people who love and understand you, and screw the rest.

4. Keep records of everything

Keep any evidence you have of the perpetrator or the website where you’ve seen the photos. If you have text messages from the person who leaked the photos, take a screen cap.

If you have e-mails from perpetrators about the photos, keep them. Also, print screens from the website where your nudes are hosted, and keep them.

Continue to keep all evidence of the ordeal. This will help the police greatly, especially if you decide to lawyer up. [Read: How to stop a creepy ex from contacting you repeatedly]

5. Seek online removal

If you know the jackass who leaked your photo, start out by sending a cease-and-desist e-mail. This should outline a settlement agreement, wherein they remove your content and are restrained from being near you in the future. Have your lawyer help you with the wording if you have pursued official legal action.

This letter should also include a copyright assignment. This means you own that nudie pic, and if they don’t take it down, they’re in big trouble. Also, affirm that you can fine them big bucks if they break your agreement.

In turn, if your nudes leaked through social media, you have even more options. You can also petition the site that hosts your images to take them down.

If your images are on a platform like Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook, you can request that they be removed. Hell, even Pornhub lets you take things down if you don’t consent!

6. Tell the police and find a lawyer

While you may just want to close your eyes and wait for your ordeal to fade away, the best plan of action is to tell the police and find a lawyer.

Both parties will be able to help you get your photo taken down. Plus, you may even get to prosecute the perv who is currently making your life difficult.

[Read: Date rape – facts, signs, and what you must do ASAP]

File a police report, hand over copies of all your records to them, and ask them about enforcing criminal action against the perp.

Also, find a lawyer. With the media scandal surrounding leaked nudes, there’s bound to be a lawyer out there who’s familiar with the ins and outs of your case.

7. If you can’t get the photos taken down…

If the website moderator is being a total dick and won’t take down your name or dirty photos, then the best thing you can do is pay close attention to your Google ranking. Your Google rank is the order in which the search results of your name *or whatever particular subject* will come up.

Push your scandalous photos to the seedy underbelly of Google’s back pages by paying close attention to your social media.

Update anything that links to your name regularly, including your Google+, LinkedIn, or Facebook page.

Another great suggestion would be to start *and regularly update* a series of blogs under your name. This will mean there will be tons of positive search results coming up under your name before people find those undesirable pages. [Read: How to be less critical – 15 reasons why you judge and how to stop it]

8. Everything will blow over

It may not feel like it, especially if you are in high school or college, but everything blows over eventually.

Fortunately for you, there’s always someone doing something bigger and badder than any embarrassing thing that has happened to you. Things will get better, and everything must pass.

While scars of the ordeal may pop up now and then, the public side of the event will likely blow over within a month or two.

Social media is always up and ready to report the next ridiculous thing happening in your town. The huge amount of internet noise will just drown this out.

9. Speak out about it

If you want to grab the bull by the horns, then be proactive about your situation. Alright, it happened. And it sucks. But try to use your newfound sexting experience to help another person avoid the problem in the future.

There are programs in place for people to speak out at high schools and colleges about the dangers of bullying and sexting.

If you can help another person avoid going through the pain that you went through, then at least something positive came from your unfortunate situation. [Read: The things to know before stripping for your webcam]

10. Know your rights

Even if you choose to take nudes, you have a right to choose who sees them. When you sent your nudes to your partner, fling, or even your Tinder one-night-stand, you consented for them to see them.

Anybody else seeing them is an infringement of your right to privacy, and a crime in many countries.

So-called “revenge porn” laws protect individuals from leaks in the USA, UK, Germany, France, Australia, Malta, Israel, Canada, Japan, and the Philippines. [Read: Revenge sex – My own experience and everything I learned from it]

Other countries also have legal protections you can take advantage of and bring your leaker to justice. So do your research, and know your rights.

11. Touch base with the people who have them

Is the leaker the only person who had access to your nudes before they got out? If anybody currently has copies of your images, get in contact with them.

It’s important that you know the status and location of all your images to make sure this doesn’t happen again.

This includes anybody who knows the passwords to your accounts or has access to your computer or phone.

Let them know what’s happened, and see if you can convince them to delete the images or return them to you. Chances are, if they’re not a total asshole or someone you have beef with, they’ll understand and oblige.

[Read: Why people are rude and mean to nice people and ways to deal with them]

12. Revisit your privacy settings

Have you ever changed your social media privacy settings? A surprising number of people have never opened that “settings” tab, or made any attempt to limit who sees their profile images.

Most sites give you the ability to choose who has access to your profile; this allows you to limit how much creeps and leakers can find about you online.

For example, Facebook allows you to limit access to your profile to select groups—anyone, friends, or friends of friends. You’ll feel safer if you limit strangers’ access as much as possible, at least until you’re back on your feet.

13. Remember—it’s NOT your fault

We’ve said it once, and we’ll say it again—this is NOT your fault. Sexting is not an excuse for slut-shaming, and this doesn’t change anything about you as a person.

You’re just somebody who’s had their trust broken and betrayed, so all you deserve right now is love and compassion.

If people are judgemental or unkind to you, we’ve got one important piece of advice: f*** them! They don’t deserve your time and attention. You have to focus everything on yourself right now, and your healing journey, so don’t waste it on losers who don’t understand.

[Read: Male privilege – what it is and what it looks like in real life]

Why revenge is never the answer

We know you’re angry right now. Your life has been ripped into tiny little pieces, and you’re working hard to put them back together. That’s enough to make anybody vengeful.

So, if you want to take revenge on the jerk who leaked your photo, go for it! But ONLY if you do so in a legal way. Getting revenge by doing the same to them is only going to hurt you.

Here’s why revenge is never EVER the answer:

1. Men are less ridiculed for sexual misdeeds

For whatever reason, society expects women to be angelic creatures, and slut-shames them whenever they break out of this mold.

Meanwhile, men are congratulated for their sexual exploits. Who hasn’t heard a guy with lots of dates getting called a “stud” or a “player”, whilst girls are branded “whores”?

This double standard will only backfire on women trying to get revenge on their ex-boyfriends out of court. Leaking your ex’s nudes might only get him compliments or applause instead of humiliation, so don’t waste your time and energy. It’ll only make you angrier, on top of your existing hurt.

[Read: 30 mean ways your boyfriend could hurt you emotionally and how to react]

2. If you’re hoping his dick pic will spread – it won’t

Again, if you’re a woman trying to get back on an ex-boyfriend, it won’t work. Dick pics don’t spread across the internet that fast, or that widely. Not at the rate a leaked nude of a woman would, anyway.

Because porn and revenge websites are largely looked at by males, the odds of them wanting to spread around that “dirty man-slut dick pic” are pretty low. So don’t risk committing a crime in the hope that you’ll send your ex viral.

If your ex is a girl, you still shouldn’t consider leaking her nudes as revenge. It might be even harder for her to contain the spread of her nudes than it was for you.

So remember: you’re the good person here. Don’t stoop to their level, and definitely don’t do worse. [Read: Unsolicited penis pics – Why guys send dick selfies and how to deal with them]

3. It’s low, and you’re way better than that

We just said it! You now know how violating it feels to have your goods shown to strangers across the internet. So don’t be that kind of person.

Do things the right, and legal, way. Also, you could have legal action taken against you if you react—and that would totally suck. Although your life seems bad now, it would get much, much worse if you got into legal trouble—and that’s permanent.

Instead, focus on yourself. Take advice from this famous quote: “the best revenge is to live well.” Get your own back on your leaker by becoming the best version of yourself, and putting them to shame.

[Read: How and why to get revenge on your ex – 20 healthy and effed up ways!]

Keep your head held high, even if scandalous photos of you have been leaked. It’s hard to have your privacy stripped from you, but you’re a survivor. Being proactive will help you own the situation and will only make you stronger in the end.