Lying by Omission in a Relationship: 50 Examples, Why We Lie & How to Avoid It

Is lying by omission really considered lying? Some people say yes, and some say no. Either way, there is a lot you need to know to make up your own mind.

When it comes to love and relationships, the truth often wears a disguise, and what’s left unsaid sometimes speaks louder than words. Welcome to the mysterious world of lying by omission, where silence weaves a tapestry of untold truths and hidden feelings.

Before you judge someone for it, remember that all of us do it!

But why do they unexpectedly sneak into even the most loving relationships?

From understanding the psychology behind these silent whispers to embracing the quirky imperfections that make love so beautifully complex, let’s try to understand lying by omission in a much better light.

What Does It Mean to Lie by Omission?

Lying by omission, also known as a “sin of omission,” is a deceptive act that occurs when an important fact is left out in order to foster a misconception.

It’s different from outright lying where false information is provided; instead, it’s about strategically leaving out something true. It’s like being served a salad without the dressing; it’s not wrong, but something essential is missing.

Erik Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development categorizes life into eight stages, and young adulthood *around ages 18-26* falls into the ‘Intimacy vs. Isolation’ stage. During this phase, the primary focus is on forming loving relationships with others.

Understanding the nuances of communication, like lying by omission, is critical here. Lying by omission can be a treacherous pitfall, leading to misunderstandings and trust issues.

Being aware of it helps young adults navigate relationships with more insight and empathy. *They don’t give you a map for relationships, but if they did, this would be on it.*

Imagine you’re watching your favorite series with your partner, and they casually mention that they’ve already seen the next episode without you. [Read: 12 Types of liars, 15 types of lies they often use and how to deal with them]

Now, they didn’t lie, but they didn’t tell you either. It’s like finding out your cat’s been secretly blogging about you. It’s unexpected and leaves you wondering what else you don’t know!

Or if you’re single, have you ever been on a date and later discovered the person conveniently ‘forgot’ to mention they’re already in a relationship? It’s not just a plot twist in a romantic comedy; it’s lying by omission!

Examples of Lying by Omission

Let’s take a look at the idea of lying by omission with a few common examples all of us have been through. [Read: Pathological liar – what causes it, and 55 signs and ways to help them change]

1. The “Bad Grade” Omission

Let’s say you got a not-so-stellar grade on a test, and your partner asks how your day was. You cheerfully mention the delicious lunch and conveniently forget the grade debacle.

You’re protecting both your self-image and their opinion of you. Oops, did I forget to mention that grade? 

2. The “Ex” Situation

If you bump into an ex and have a casual chat, you might choose not to tell your current partner. It’s not a big deal, right? [Read: Should I block my ex? 17 signs to help you decide what’s best for you]

But the omission might be driven by a desire to avoid unnecessary jealousy or drama. Drama avoided, mission accomplished! 

3. The “Gift Spoiler” Omission

You find the perfect birthday gift for your partner, and they casually ask what you bought.

You divert the conversation to something else, omitting the truth to preserve the surprise. It’s a sweet little omission wrapped in a bow of good intentions. [Read: 34 Best gift ideas for your boyfriend she’ll love more than you know!]

4. The “Family Opinion” Omission

Your family might have shared some not-so-flattering opinions about your partner, and you decide not to pass that along.

You’re protecting your partner’s feelings and maintaining peace. It’s like keeping the lid on a can of opinionated worms! 

5. The “Job Rejection” Omission

If you’ve been rejected from a job and feel embarrassed or down about it, you might omit it when your partner asks how your day went. It’s self-preservation with a sprinkle of “I’ll tell them when I’m ready. [Read: 36 Healthy way to handle rejection and respond positively even if it hurts]

6. The “I Ate the Last Slice” Omission

You devour the last slice of your partner’s favorite pizza and then neglect to mention it when they ask if there’s any left. It’s a trivial yet delicious lie by omission. Sorry, dear, the pizza slice just… vanished! 

Why We Lie by Omission to the Ones We Love: The Honest Truth

Lying by omission to the ones we love is like putting a tiny umbrella in a drink; it’s puzzling and sometimes unnecessary, but there’s often a reason behind it. Let’s find out why this umbrella ends up in our love cocktail.

1. Protecting Feelings

Sometimes, people omit information to protect the feelings of those they love. [Read: How to not hurt people’s feelings – the 20 golden rules you need]

It’s like not telling your partner that their favorite shirt actually makes them look like a disco ball. You do it out of kindness, thinking you’re sparing them potential embarrassment or discomfort.

2. Avoiding Conflict

Conflict avoidance is a big motivator. If admitting the full truth could lead to an argument or tension, people might choose to withhold information.

This is deeply rooted in the human need for harmony and the fear of losing social bonds, something explored in Social Identity Theory.

3. Preserving Self-Image

The way we perceive ourselves and the way we want others, especially loved ones, to perceive us can influence lying by omission.

We might withhold information that we think might lower us in their estimation. Carl Rogers’ theory of the Self Concept touches on this, explaining how incongruity between our ideal self and real self can lead us to omit truths.

4. Maintaining Relationship Dynamics

Sometimes, the information might be omitted to preserve the status quo in the relationship.

Imagine if you didn’t like your spouse’s cooking but never told them because they enjoyed making meals for you. By omitting your true feelings, you maintain a pleasant routine in the relationship.

5. Unconscious Reasons

We might be omitting truths without even fully realizing why, thanks to our unconscious mind. Freud’s theories remind us that not all our actions are fully within conscious understanding.

There could be deep-seated fears or desires at play, like a fear of abandonment or a need for approval, which are silently steering our decisions.

6. The “For Their Own Good” Justification

We might convince ourselves that lying by omission is for the loved one’s benefit. It’s a morally gray area where we act as the judge of what the other person can or cannot handle.

It’s a complex dance between empathy, control, and ethical considerations, often studied in Moral Psychology.

7. Attachment Styles and Insecurities

Based on John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory, people develop different attachment styles *secure, anxious, avoidant* in childhood.

These styles can influence how they behave in relationships, including the tendency to omit truths. For instance, someone with an avoidant attachment style may lie by omission to maintain emotional distance or independence.

8. Power Dynamics

Lying by omission can be a subtle way to exert control or maintain a specific power dynamic within a relationship. It’s about who has access to what information and can be tied to deeper issues of trust, dominance, or dependence.

9. Ethical Beliefs and Personal Values

People’s ethics and values can strongly influence their choices, including the decision to omit information.

Some might justify lying by omission as a lesser evil compared to an outright lie, while others might see it as an absolute breach of trust. Ethical theories like Utilitarianism or Deontological Ethics can shed light on these complex moral judgments.

10. Sociocultural Factors

Cultural norms and social expectations often play a role in communication patterns, including lying by omission.

In some cultures, omitting unpleasant truths might be seen as more polite or respectful, while in others, it might be seen as dishonest.

11. Projection and Transference

Sometimes, lying by omission might not be about the other person at all but about our own fears and insecurities. We might project our feelings onto them, assuming they’ll react a certain way.

Transference, a concept introduced by Freud, can also play a role where emotions and expectations from past relationships are transferred onto current ones. [Read:

12. Cognitive Dissonance

This psychological concept refers to the mental discomfort we feel when holding two or more contradictory beliefs, values, or attitudes simultaneously.

Lying by omission might be a way to alleviate this discomfort. For example, if we value honesty but want to protect our partner’s feelings, we might choose to omit the truth, thus reducing the internal tension.

13. Long-Term Strategic Thinking

This might sound a bit Machiavellian, but some individuals might lie by omission as part of a broader, longer-term strategy within a relationship.

This could be tied to achieving certain personal or shared goals or to the perceived needs and desires of the relationship itself.

In the complex dance of human relationships, lying by omission can be seen as both an intricate step and a misstep, often influenced by a myriad of internal and external factors. 

While lying by omission to our loved ones might seem like a perplexing maze, it’s often driven by our complex emotions, fears, desires, and our funny little human ways of trying to keep things nice and neat. [Read: 20 BIG-but-subtle signs and gestures to tell if someone is lying to your face]

Sometimes, love does strange things to us, like making us put little umbrellas in our drinks or withholding that we ate the last slice of pizza.

How do Lies by Omission Hurt Relationships?

While we can see the reasons for lying by omission, we must also pull back the curtain on the stage where it can harm relationships. Let’s take a look at the part that hurts the most.

1. Erosion of Trust

Trust is like a beautifully constructed bridge between two hearts. Lies by omission, even small ones, can weaken the pillars of that bridge. [Read: 46 Must-dos to rebuild and regain trust after cheating or lying in a relationship]

Over time, if left unchecked, the bridge might collapse. “I thought I knew you!” suddenly echoes in the void where trust used to live.

2. Building Walls Instead of Bridges

Each omitted truth might seem insignificant, but together they can build a wall that separates partners.

It’s like constructing a fortress with bricks of omission; each one adds distance, and soon you find yourself in different emotional territories. [Read: 34 Signs, why we feel disconnected in a relationship and ways to reconnect]

3. Emotional Disconnect

Omitting truths can create an emotional disconnect, like dancing to a song but being out of rhythm.

You think you’re in sync, but the omitted truths keep tripping you up. It’s the awkward dance no one wants at the relationship party.

4. Unresolved Issues

Lies by omission can sweep problems under the rug. At first, it’s unnoticeable, but over time, that rug becomes a mountain. [Read: How to resolve conflict – the 15 best ways to cut out the drama]

Suddenly, the unresolved issues become an obstacle course in your living room. Jumping over problems is a workout nobody signed up for!

5. The Domino Effect

One lie by omission can lead to another. It’s like playing a game of dominoes where one tipped piece sets off a chain reaction. Before you know it, lies pile up, and the relationship structure comes tumbling down. Who knew dominoes could be so risky?

6. Missed Opportunities for Growth

Lies by omission can prevent open communication and rob the relationship of opportunities for growth. [Read: 38 Signs and traits of a happy, healthy relationship and what it should look like]

It’s like having a plant and not giving it enough sunlight. Without the warm rays of honesty, growth is stunted.

Lying by omission may seem harmless at first, but it can often take your relationship down the dark, scary roads of distrust and confusion. 

The Bright Side – Is It Ever Okay to Lie by Omission?

Lying by omission might not just be the “bad guy” in the story all the time. Sometimes, these lies come with shades of ethical gray. 

1. White Lies and Social Graces

In the world of Kantian ethics, honesty is highly revered, and any form of lying is generally frowned upon. But let’s face it, life isn’t always that simple! Sometimes, lying by omission falls into the category of white lies.

These are the polite omissions that help grease the wheels of social interaction, like complimenting a friend’s questionable hairstyle or omitting your real thoughts about their grandma’s unique cooking.

It’s the philosophical dance of being truthful but also kind, considerate, and socially graceful. In these situations, lying by omission might be seen as not just acceptable but downright genteel! 

2. Emotional Readiness – Piaget’s Cognitive Development Theory

Piaget, our friendly guide to understanding the cognitive development stages of humans! Let’s consider a scenario where a partner is going through a tough time, and you decide to omit certain truths until they’re more emotionally ready to handle them.

According to Piaget, our ability to understand abstract concepts and complexities evolves over time. In relationships, this might translate into recognizing when our partner is emotionally mature or ready enough to handle certain truths.

So, lying by omission might be a compassionate act of understanding their current cognitive and emotional state. It’s like serving dinner – you wouldn’t give them a hot plate without warning them first! 

How to Deal with Lies by Omission in a Relationship

Dealing with lies by omission in a relationship can feel like navigating a maze, but with empathy and understanding, you can find your way through. [Read: Is he lying? 21 signs to tell if a guy is a liar and the subtle ways to read his lies]

1. Understand the Liar’s Point of View

Understanding the other person’s perspective is like having a map of the maze. You might not agree with the omission, but seeing why they did it can illuminate the path. Were they scared?

Were they trying to protect feelings? This understanding creates a foundation for empathy, allowing for a more compassionate response. It’s like putting on their shoes, even if they’re not your style!

2. Open and Honest Communication

As we’ve sung before, communication is the chorus line of a relationship. Share your feelings, ask questions, and allow them to explain without judgment.

It’s like having a chat over tea, but the main course is trust, with a side dish of understanding. [Read: 42 Secrets to communicate better in a relationship and ways to fix a lack of it]

3. Set Boundaries and Expectations

Clearly define what’s acceptable and what’s not in the relationship. Think of it as drawing a map together, so you both know the way. It’s less about rules and more about guidelines for a successful love journey.

4. Reflect on the Relationship’s Dynamics

Analyze how the relationship’s dynamics might have contributed to the lie by omission. Are there trust issues? Is there fear of judgment?

Reflecting on these can lead to deeper insights and ways to strengthen the bond. It’s like relationship yoga – stretching and growing together! [Read: Emotional connection – 38 signs, secrets, and ways to build a real bond]

5. Seek Professional Help if Needed

If lying by omission becomes a chronic issue, seeking professional guidance, like couples therapy, can be invaluable.

Therapists are like relationship mechanics, helping to tune up the connection. Don’t be shy; even the best cars need a tune-up!

6. Offer Forgiveness and Rebuild Trust

Forgiving is not about forgetting but about releasing the emotional burden and rebuilding trust.

It’s a process, much like growing a garden. Plant the seeds of forgiveness and water them with love and patience.

7. Evaluate the Relationship

Sometimes, if lies by omission continue to erode trust, evaluating the relationship’s health and future might be necessary.

It’s like a relationship health check-up; sometimes, tough decisions lead to healthier outcomes. [Read: Should we break up? 35 signs it’s over and past the point of no return]

Why Understanding the Liar’s Point of View is So Important to Heal Together

Understanding the liar’s point of view in a relationship, especially when it comes to lying by omission, is like holding a compass in the midst of a storm.

It helps to guide us through the turbulent emotions and often leads to safer shores. 

1. Unlocks Empathy

Understanding the liar’s point of view opens the door to empathy. It’s like tuning in to their emotional radio frequency. You begin to see beyond the act of lying to the emotions, thoughts, and reasons behind it.

This doesn’t excuse the behavior, but it makes comprehending their human vulnerability possible. And remember, empathy is the VIP pass to a compassionate relationship concert! [Read: How to show empathy and learn to understand someone else’s feelings]

2. Transforms Anger into Compassion

Once you understand why they lied, your anger might transform into compassion. It’s like turning a roaring fire into a gentle flame.

You’re no longer attacking the surface lie but addressing the deeper issue. It’s relationship alchemy at its finest!

3. Facilitates Genuine Conversation

When you grasp their perspective, it creates a safe space for open and honest communication.

It’s like setting up a cozy campfire chat where defenses are lowered, and hearts are opened. Grab the marshmallows, and let the conversation roast!

4. Aids in Conflict Resolution

Understanding their viewpoint helps tailor your response, turning a battle into a collaboration. You’re now solving a puzzle together rather than dueling with swords.

Put away the armor, and pick up the puzzle pieces! [Read: How to stop fighting in a relationship and 16 steps to really talk]

5. Strengthens the Relationship

When you practice understanding, it nurtures trust and intimacy. It’s like adding a support beam to the relationship structure, making it more resilient and connected. Build it strong, build it with love!

6. Promotes Healing and Growth

This understanding doesn’t just patch things up; it helps in healing and growing. It’s like relationship gardening, where understanding is the sunshine, turning the seeds of confusion into blossoming wisdom.

In a nutshell, understanding the liar’s point of view isn’t about giving them a free pass for dishonesty; it’s about unlocking a deeper level of connection and compassion. [Read: 36 Healing steps to get over heartbreak and deal with the pain of fixing it]

It’s like finding the key to a treasure chest filled with empathy, love, trust, and healing. Keep this key handy, and your relationship ship will sail smoother seas

How to Avoid Lies by Omission in a Relationship

No one likes it when there is lying in their relationship. So, how can you avoid it? Here are some tips.

1. Foster Openness and Honesty

Creating a space where both partners feel safe to express themselves openly encourages honesty.

Make it known that sharing the truth, even if it’s uncomfortable, will be met with understanding rather than judgment. [Read: 12 Signs of dishonesty in a relationship that pushes couples apart]

2. Understand and Respect Boundaries

Talk openly about what you both consider important in terms of sharing information. Knowing each other’s expectations and respecting those boundaries helps avoid unintentional omissions.

3. Embrace Transparency

A transparent relationship is one where there are no hidden agendas. By being clear about your feelings, intentions, and thoughts, you leave no room for ambiguity or omission.

4. Build Trust Through Consistent Behavior

Trust grows when words and actions align. Being consistent in what you say and do helps your partner feel secure in trusting your word. [Read: Trust issues in a relationship 22 whys and ways to get over it together]

5. Communication is Key

Regular and honest communication can help prevent misunderstandings. Whether it’s a daily check-in or a heartfelt talk about something significant, keep those communication lines wide open.

6. Validate Each Other’s Feelings

Acknowledging and validating your partner’s feelings, even if you don’t entirely agree with them, builds empathy and understanding, making it easier to share openly without fear.

7. Reflect on Your Own Behavior

Understanding why you might feel tempted to omit something can help you address the issue at its core. Self-reflection can lead to personal growth and a more honest relationship. [Read: 25 Honest, self-reflection questions to recognize the real YOU inside]

8. Encourage Feedback

Regularly asking your partner for feedback about your honesty and communication helps you both stay on the same page and fosters a continuous improvement mindset.

9. Invest in Relationship Growth

Reading, learning, and experiencing new things together keeps the relationship fresh and provides opportunities to connect on deeper levels.

10. Practice Compassion and Forgiveness

Mistakes happen, and compassion and forgiveness help you move past them without lingering resentment.

Recognize the imperfections in each other and choose to love anyway. [Read: How to forgive someone who hurt you and release the negativity inside]

Avoiding lies by omission is about creating a relationship filled with trust, respect, understanding, and compassion.

It’s an ongoing journey of connection and growth that blossoms with conscious effort from both partners. With these steps, you can build a relationship where truth thrives and love blossoms. 

Embracing Imperfections and the Symphony of Trust and Authentic Love in Relationships

In the dance of love, we sometimes misstep, stumble, or even take a tumble.

It’s in our nature to panic and, in those fearful moments, allow little lies and omissions to slip through our lips. [Read: Why do men lie?! 29 common lies all guys say and best ways to confront him]

We might shield truths from those we hold dearest, not out of malice, but because we fear judgment or misunderstanding.

But here’s the heartwarming secret: A relationship thrives not in perfection, but in embracing those imperfections with grace and humor.

It’s about holding hands when we falter and laughing together when we slip. Mistakes are not cracks that weaken the foundation, but the unique imprints that give a relationship its character. [Read: 8 Lies we tell when our relationship is going downhill]

To grow closer, couples must learn to drop the guard that shields their hearts. It’s about baring your soul without the fear of being judged, and offering your heart, unvarnished and real.

The lies we may tell in panic are but whispers in the wind compared to the loud and resounding symphony of trust, compassion, and understanding that can echo through a loving relationship.

Embrace each other with all the quirks, missteps, and beautiful messiness. Learn to lean into the vulnerability that makes love so intoxicating and unique. [Read: How to be vulnerable in a relationship, open up, and 28 secrets to grow closer]

Remember, every flaw you uncover is another reason to love deeper, and every truth you share is a steppingstone to a more authentic and joyful connection.

So, here’s to the couples who dare to be real, the lovers who laugh at their mistakes, and the friends who grow closer through every shared truth and cherished imperfection.

[Read: Snooping in a relationship – what it is, why we snoop, and how to get through it]

May your love story be filled with honesty, giggles, and endless, heartwarming embraces. Keep loving, keep laughing, and never stop growing together even if someone is lying by omission.