Long Distance Relationship Boredom: 25 Signs & Secrets to Spice the LDR Up

It’s never fun to live far apart from your partner. If you’re having problems, here are the signs they’re losing interest in the long distance relationship and ways to fix it.

Long distance relationships can only work if both people are into it. If not, it’s just going to be you investing all your time and energy into a relationship that isn’t going to last. And that’s what hurts. So, read on to learn the signs he’s losing interest in the long distance relationship. Protect your heart.

How to tell the signs your partner is losing interest in the long distance relationship

Everyone tells you that long distance relationships are a bad idea, but some people disagree. Some relationships are long distance, and they are for the best.

Is it easy? Of course, not. But it’s not necessarily a bad idea. As long as you both have a goal to communicate, you’ll be able to overcome those obstacles.

But, not all relationships are meant to last. And long distance relationships certainly have their own set of issues, which add pressure.

With the distance between you, it’s easy to get distracted by other people and activities, forgetting the person who’s miles apart from you *this is why communication is essential*. [Read: 10 myths most people believe about long distance relationships]

If you’re serious about the relationship, it’s important that your partner is on the same page as you. So, if you feel something is going on, look at these signs he’s losing interest in the long distance relationship. If so, you’ll be able to talk with him and see where the relationship should go.

1. He doesn’t communicate with you

If you are long distance, all you have is communication. But if he’s not calling or texting you consistently, it’s a clear sign he’s not fully investing in the relationship.

Maybe it’s the distance. Maybe he doesn’t see the relationship as something serious. But the point is if he was interested he would be investing the time in talking to you. [Read: Here’s your guide for how to make long distance relationships work]

2. You feel something is off

When you first met, the sparks flew. But now, you feel there’s something off. He doesn’t have that spark in him when he talks to you. There’s no excitement anymore.

But if you feel there’s something weird with his behavior, something is going on. And if you feel it in your gut, then you better pay attention to that. Your intuition is almost always right and never lies. So, don’t ignore it.

3. You initiate everything

He’ll reply to your texts, but he’s not reaching out and sending you any messages first. You find yourself pushing to see each other, and he’s not showing much excitement.

You feel like you’re the one doing all the work and that’s probably because you are. This is a huge sign that he is losing interest in the long distance relationship. [Read: 10 things to never do in a long term relationship]

4. No more talks about the future

You used to talk about the future and create goals together, but those conversations have died down. That’s not a good sign.

Long distance couples must talk about the future and make plans. If you’re not making goals, then there’s no point in being together. And if he’s not talking about the future with you, maybe it’s because he doesn’t see you in it but he just doesn’t want to come right out and say it.

5. He cancels plans

You booked a weekend getaway to see each other, but he canceled the trip at the last minute. Something happened with work or school; it doesn’t matter.

If he was really interested, unless it was an emergency, he wouldn’t cancel plans to see you. Canceling plans is a passive-aggressive way to let you know that he’s not interested in continuing the long distance relationship. 

6. He doesn’t want to talk too long

You don’t have many options when it comes to communication. It’s either talking on the phone, FaceTime, or texting.

When you do get the chance to chat, he makes sure the conversation doesn’t last too long. He’s becoming less and less available to talk to you. [Read: How to get past long distance relationship anxiety]

7. You’re not jealous

In long distance relationships, jealousy is normal. You’re not around your partner; you don’t want other women to make a move.

But if he’s not feeling any emotion towards you when you’re around other men, that’s a concern. It doesn’t sound like he cares.

8. He gets busier and busier

Not all men are straightforward with their wants and needs. Sure, he may like you, but he isn’t interested in breaking things off.

So, to avoid confrontation, he becomes busy, finding excuses not to talk to you. Come on, you know deep down that no one can possibly be that busy, right? [Read: 10 sneaky signs you’re about to get dumped]

9. He doesn’t text back

Or he takes hours to reply. Either way, it’s not a good look. When a guy is interested, he replies to texts as soon as he gets them. If he’s taking longer to reply or his messages have shortened, it’s a sign he’s creating distance.

People do this on purpose when they don’t want to be direct about how they feel about you. He’s hoping you get the hint that he is no longer interested in the long distance relationship. He might even hope you break up with him first.

10. He tells you he doesn’t want a serious relationship

When you first met, he whispered sweet nothings into your ear. But now that he’s had a taste of long distance, he’s changed his song and dance.

Now, he’s telling you he’s looking for a casual relationship and nothing too serious. He might even refuse to refer to you as his girlfriend anymore.

11. You’ve taken a backseat

You don’t feel like you’re a priority in his life. And if you don’t feel that, then it’s true. He’s not pulling his weight in the relationship, and he’s no longer the partner that he used to be.

So, he’s keeping you on the side burner until he sees you again. He clearly has people and things that are higher priority than you, and you need to admit it to yourself. [Read: 9 signs your boyfriend is no longer in love with you]

12. You don’t discuss relationship issues

Every couple has their issues; we’re all human. Talking about your issues is crucial as it helps you grow and improve as people and as a couple.

But if he’s not interested in working on relationship issues, then it doesn’t sound like he’s into being in the relationship. He has most likely tuned out, and so he doesn’t even care about fixing things with you.

13. He’s full of excuses

It doesn’t matter if he didn’t text you back for hours or answer your call, he always has an excuse as to why.

And when you want to see him, he also has excuses for why he can’t. If you are at the point where you’re wondering if any of his excuses are actually true, then he is probably losing interest in your long distance relationship.

14. He doesn’t use pet names for you anymore

When couples are happy, they typically call their significant other cute pet names. It doesn’t have to be anything official, but usually, it’s something like “Honey” or “Babe.”

So, if he used to call you cute names like that before, but he’s suddenly stopped, then that’s not a good sign. [Read: What your pet name says about your relationship]

15. He talks about another girl he knows

Maybe some new girl started at his workplace. In one of your conversations, he casually mentions it as part of his day.

But now, whenever you talk to him, he’s always telling you about what this girl said or did. Or that they go to lunch together every day. If you find that he’s talking a little too much about someone else, then you know he’s probably interested in her.

16. He’s hanging out with people you never heard of

If he’s not just talking about another girl but is telling you that he’s hanging out with a new group of people that you don’t know, then he is building a new life.

When he meets all these new people, he is probably having a great time. And who knows… he might meet another girl as a result too.

17. He’s not trying to impress you 

Whenever he does find the time to see you, he never puts any effort into how he looks. He might skip showering and not shave. His clothes might be dirty or not fashionable like he used to wear. And he certainly isn’t putting on the cologne to turn you on anymore.

If he has become a slob lately, then he’s not even trying to impress you at all – because he doesn’t care anymore. [Read: Compromise in a relationship – 17 ways to give and not feel like you lost]

18. No more video calls

When you’re in a long distance relationship, it’s important to see your partner’s face once in a while. So, depending on how far apart you are, sometimes video calls are the only option.

But if you notice changes and that he doesn’t ever want you to see him on video anymore, there is a reason – and it’s probably not a good one.

19. You don’t know when you’ll ever see him again

You might have had a pretty predictable schedule of visiting each other when you first started out long distance. But now, you don’t have anything scheduled for when you will see him again.

He might just say “let’s play it by ear,” but he never ever follows through with finding a time to get together. You’re even wondering if you’ll ever see him again.

20. He never puts in any effort

Not only does he not initiate anything like calls, texts, or visits, he’s just not putting any effort into anything whatsoever.

He never sends you any flowers or tells you he loves you. He’s just gotten completely lazy and it feels like he’s totally tuned out of the relationship. [Read: 31 Sad signs he doesn’t like you anymore and is losing interest in you]

21. He doesn’t ask what’s going on in your life

When you finally do get to talk to him by text or a phone call, he seems very uninterested in what happened to you that day – or anything else going on in your life.

Not only does he not ask you, but he also seems to not offer much in return. And he also seems a bit vague or shady about what he’s been up to.

22. It’s awkward when you see him

On the rare occasions that you actually do get to see him in person, it doesn’t feel the same. It’s quite awkward and the relationship does not seem to be flowing like it used to.

Maybe he doesn’t hold your hand anymore or isn’t interested in sex as much as he used to be. The good feeling between the two of you is definitely fading – or even completely gone.

23. You have boring conversations

Talking to him is like pulling teeth. Whether it’s asking him what’s going on in his life or just trying to start up an interesting intellectual conversation, he has no time for it.

He will just give you grunts or one-word answers. You are ridiculously bored when you talk to him because he seems completely uninterested in talking to you. [Read: 13 troubling signs he’s losing interest in you and may walk away]

24. The relationship feels like a chore

Relationships should make you feel good and flow naturally. They should not be too much effort. So, if you feel like his presence in your life is more a chore than a joy in your life, then it could be because he has lost interest in your long distance relationship. He also probably feels the same way.

25. He asks for an open relationship

This is one of the biggest signs he’s losing interest in the long distance relationship. You can’t really ask for a more obvious one, can you?

If he suggests that the two of you see other people, then that means he has someone in mind. Either that, or it’s just a coward’s way to “break up” with you. Maybe he’s hoping you’ll do the dirty work so he doesn’t have to.

[Read: 31 sad signs he doesn’t like you anymore and he’s losing interest in you]

Long distance relationships are a lot of work. But if you’re feeling the signs he’s losing interest in the long distance relationship, it’s important you talk about it with your partner. See what he’s really thinking about.

How to spice up a long distance relationship

If you believe in the love you share with your partner, distance is a mere obstacle. Here is where the work comes in! These seven long distance relationship ideas can be used to show your love for them and keep the love strong.

1. Surprise visit

Okay, this could be a bad idea, as we flashback to every 90’s chick flick. Make sure this isn’t a week long relationship, where you show up and see something you shouldn’t *flashback to Bring It On*. That being said, who doesn’t like a surprise? Especially when it’s their boyfriend or girlfriend showing up at their front door.

But, instead of the front door surprise idea, try showing up at the movie theater they’re at, or the restaurant they’re grabbing a bite to eat. Get creative with your surprise spot. [Read: 10 myths people believe about long distance relationships]

2. Love letters

Some people consider this a lame idea, but that just means they’re not in tune with themselves. It’s easy to send a text or email, but it doesn’t have the personal flair a love letter brings. There’s nothing more romantic than seeing your lover’s handwriting in your mailbox.

Sure, still send texts for quick and cute messages. However, with a love letter, you have something to hold onto and look back at when you’re older. This long distance relationship idea isn’t just for those who want to break out the Shakespearian quotes, your letters can be full of jokes, pictures, daily life stuff. It doesn’t have to be serious. [Read: 10 most important tips to writing an amazing love letter]

3. Naughty pictures

This is a favorite for many. You don’t have to send full-out nudes, send a picture of your collarbone, legs, lips—whatever their favorite part of you is.

We’re not completely opposed to the idea of sending nudes, but I’m just saying, you don’t have to do that to get a reaction from your partner. Trust me, they’ll love whatever you send them.

If you trust your partner, then freely send your partner nudes. I haven’t taken that step yet, because I’m slightly paranoid about the internet.

If you’re slightly paranoid but want to send a picture, make an agreement with them to delete the pictures after you send them. Or, download an app which automatically deletes the image after they open it—thank goodness for technology.

Before sending them a picture of you, write them a flirty message saying, “Are you alone?” This gets them going, and trust me, they’ll make sure they’re alone within seconds. [Read: 10 naughty games for long distance relationships]

4. Romantic dinner

Just because you’re not in the same place as them, doesn’t mean you guys can’t have dinner together. We’re in the age of the technology, people!

Get your dinner on the stove, cook it up, and power on Skype. You don’t have to make this a daily event, but creating a date night allows you a great way to reconnect and share some quality time with your partner.

Just make sure you have a strong internet connection. A great way to spend the night—staring at a semi-frozen screen. Date nights are a great opportunity to get yourself dressed up and share an intimate time with your partner over a bottle of wine. [Read: How to have steamy Skype sex with your lover]

5. Care package

A care package doesn’t mean sending them diapers for the elderly. It’s more modern than that. I know shipping can be expensive, so, if you have the opportunity to spend a couple extra dollars on your partner, make them a care package.

It’s a great way to show them you’re thinking of them. My boyfriend didn’t send me a single thing, but let’s move on, I’m not bitter anymore.

Your care package can be full of fun and random things but also very useful. Don’t run to the dollar store and buy them a bunch of plastic trinkets that are only useful if being shoved in a piñata. If you remember them complaining about their hands being cold, send them a pair of gloves. It’s things like these that show you care and listen *insert melodramatic music here*. [Read: Long distance relationship gifts for the one you love]

6. Create a blog together

Those who blog together, stay together, as they say. If you both have a flair for writing, why not create a blog together about your long distance relationship. This shows you a different side of your partner and what they’re feeling.

Not only that, why not connect with other people who are going through the same thing? This way, you’ll be able to not only bond with your partner, but perhaps help others who experience the same long distance relationship pain as you. Maybe you’ll even get a movie deal out of it… I know, I know, I’m getting a little ahead of myself. But… Hollywood. [Read: 10 survival tips for every long distance relationship]

7. Don’t overdo it with communication

Communication is absolutely essential for long distance relationships, but, there is something called excessive communication.

If you’re FaceTiming every day, there will come a time where you run out of things to say, or feel the spark isn’t as strong as it once was. Talking everyday is completely fine, but long FaceTime and Skype sessions should be saved for your weekly date nights. [Read: 10 things you should never do in a long distance relationship]

Space isn’t a bad thing, in fact, you’re in a long distance relationship so you actually know the benefits of personal space. So, keep the communication strong, but don’t suffocate your relationship.

[Read: Does absence make the heart grow fonder or wander?]

A long distance relationship doesn’t have to be a death knell for you and your partner. Try to spice it up and work hard to stay connected and avoid boredom.