Lack of Respect in a Relationship? 15 Painful Signs It’s True

There’s no perfect formula for a happy relationship, but respect and love matter. Do you see disturbing signs of a lack of respect in a relationship? 

When Aretha Franklin sang her song, Respect, people, especially women, really connected to it. Aside from her voice as a powerful force on its own, what she sang was true. When it comes to respect, it’s absolutely crucial that it exists in your relationship. Lack of respect in a relationship creates the foundation for a toxic relationship. 

How can you feel like you’re in a true partnership if there’s no respect? How can you be equals? Of course, respect comes in many different forms, and as Aretha sang, r-e-s-p-e-c-t find out what it means to me, you also need to figure out what you see as respectful behavior from your partner. 

For example, some people consider a sign of respect when their partner opens the car door for them. But, other people may see it as a sign of belittling. Neither is wrong; it’s just how you picture respect.

[Read: How to show respect in a relationship and love each other better]

15 disturbing signs of a lack of respect in a relationship

If you have respect for each other, the obstacles you’ll face as a couple will be easier to overcome because you will both be able to look at it from each other’s perspectives. But when there’s a lack of respect, the relationship doesn’t have a solid foundation and is ultimately doomed to fail.

You won’t be able to last in a relationship that doesn’t show you respect, or if you do stay in it, it’ll wear you down. Either way, it’s not a good option for you. 

R-e-s-p-e-c-t goes a long way. Here are the signs of a lack of respect in a relationship to know where your relationship falls.

#1 You don’t feel like you’re a priority. When it comes to relationships, your partner should be a priority in your life, and vice versa. When you’re a priority, you’re seen as an important part of their life. But if you’re the only one who’s always making plans or working around their schedule, that’s not a sign of respect. A relationship is a two-way street, and they need to meet you halfway. [Read: 15 signs of a lack of respect in a relationship you can’t ignore]

#2 Your partner doesn’t listen to you. Well, sometimes my partner can go on a rant, and I zone out… it happens. It can be hard to be an active listener at times. But if your partner is never fully engaged in the conversation, then that’s a sign of disrespect. If they cared, they would be giving you their complete attention, especially at times when you need it. 

#3 They don’t try to change their selfish habits. We all have habits that are seen as selfish when living with someone else. If you’re living alone, then those habits are fine because they don’t affect anyone else. But once you’re in a relationship, some things you do need to change.

For example, leaving their clothes on the floor or washing the dishes days after cooking. Those things are small, but show how inconsiderate they are of you. [Read: These signs of disrespect in a relationship indicate a lack of love] 

#4 They’re open about their attraction to others. Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you’re blind. Of course, there are going to be other people you see who are attractive, but that’s where it stops. You recognize they’re good looking and then move on with your day.

If your partner is commenting to you about their attraction to other people, that’s not respectful at all. They’re not concerned about your feelings and how those comments affect you.

#5 They don’t want to hang out with your family. Your family is an integral part of your life; they’ve raised you from birth. Naturally, your family are the closest people you have in your life, aside from your friends. Your partner should be supportive and attend family events with you, etc.

But if they’re avoid spending time with you and your family, it’s disrespectful. Of course, if your family doesn’t like your partner, I understand why they avoid seeing your family. But other than that, not investing time into the things you love is a bad sign.

#6 They lie to you. When it comes to a relationship, your foundation needs to be built on honesty and trust. If you’ve caught them in a lie, even if it’s something small, that shows a lack of respect. Your partner doesn’t feel they need to tell you the truth. Plus, they’re not feeling guilty for lying and hiding the truth from you. That’s not a good sign. [Read: What to do when there’s lying in a relationship: Can it survive?]

#7 They don’t go out of their way for you. When you’re in a relationship, your partner relies on you for different things. Sometimes, you go out of your way to help your partner out. This is what being in a relationship is all about. But your partner won’t do anything for you if it takes a little extra effort on their part. And that doesn’t show love or respect.

#8 There’s no compromising. When two people are in a relationship, there’s always going to be compromising. Unless you are exact clones of each other, your needs will be different. So, this takes communication and empathy. But in your relationship, your partner doesn’t compromise, it’s either their way or no way. And if things don’t go their way, they make sure you see they’re upset about it. [Read: How to compromise in a relationship and not feel like you lost out]

#9 They try to hurt your feelings. There are times when we screw up and say things we shouldn’t say. I can’t tell you I’ve never said anything hurtful to someone I love. But intentionally trying to hurt someone’s feelings is the biggest sign of disrespect.

Why would you intentionally want to hurt someone you love? This is a huge red flag because it can progress into serious emotional abuse. [Read: Don’t overlook these important signs of emotional abuse]

#10 Sex is more of a transaction. You almost feel that you owe your partner sex. It’s not something romantic and intimate anymore. Instead, it feels like a transaction, something that you should do. And yes, sex is a big part of a relationship, but you don’t owe your partner anything. If they’re making you feel this way, get out of the relationship.

#11 They overstep your boundaries. You’ve established your boundaries and communicated them to your partner. Normally, if your partner respects you, they understand your boundaries and avoid overstepping them. These boundaries can be sex-related or not. Regardless of what your boundaries are, your partner should never disrespect them. [Read: 15 healthy boundaries all couples need to set early on]

#12 They don’t follow through on their word. For example, your partner told you that they’re going to take you out for dinner on your birthday. You get ready, and you’re excited to go, then your partner cancels the date. Maybe they had a good reason, maybe not. But if this isn’t unusual behavior for them, they don’t respect you. If they did, they would follow through on their word.

#13 They’re never on time. This one sounds maybe a little much, but listen, time management is based on respect. Yes, it’s normal to be late from time-to-time, things happen. But if your partner is always late, they don’t respect their time or your time. If they did, they would make more of an effort to show up when they say they’re going to.

#14 They give you the silent treatment. We all argue with our partners; this is a normal part of being in a relationship. But, what’s important is how you communicate with your partner during those arguments. If your partner gives you the silent treatment on a regular basis, that’s a form of abuse. The silent treatment is a form of manipulation by keeping you on your toes. [Read: How to respond to the silent treatment and stop being power-played]

#15 You feel unhappy. If you were being treated with respect, you wouldn’t be reading this right now. But, you’re not feeling happy in your relationship, and you’re trying to figure out what’s wrong. You know, deep down, whether this is the relationship you need to be in. And if you’re not happy, then you know the answer. 

[Read: 16 clear signs it’s time for you to leave the relationship]

When it comes to relationships, it can be tricky. But one thing is for certain; a lack of respect in a relationship will not make for a happy partnership.