Is He Attracted to Me? 22 Subtle Signs to Know if a Guy Desires You

People can be pretty good at hiding their feelings sometimes. If you’re wondering ‘is he attracted to me,’ here’s how to work it out for sure. 

Most women have encountered this question—is he attracted to me? You may be talking to a guy, but you can’t seem to figure out if he likes you. He could be really shy, unsure of how to approach you, or he could simply not be interested. Obviously, no option is ideal, but we’d rather take the first over the latter any day.

But for some men, you know right away where they stand with you, while others make you feel like you’re deciphering a code.

If you’re stuck trying to work out whether someone you’re crushing on likes you back or not, the good news is that there are some signs you can search for. While it may be harder to figure some guys out than others, it’s rarely totally impossible. You just need to open your mind and know what to look for!

[Read: Different types of attraction – Which is most vital for true love?]

Is he attracted to me?

Now, don’t think you have to actually decipher a code in order to see if he’s interested – it shouldn’t be that complex. But, you do have to pay attention to what he’s doing.

If he is shy, he’ll never approach you or outright flirt with you, that’s not his style. He may wait months, even years before he finds the courage to make a move! [Read: How to flirt with a shy guy – 15 baby steps to get him to talk to you]

Of course, you don’t need to wait that long, because if you have some confidence that’s he crushing back, you can be the one to make the first move instead. So, let’s get you up to speed with what you need to look out for so you can answer the infamous question, is he attracted to me?

There are signs, you just need to keep your eyes open. [Read: Science of attraction – 17 things that are far more sexy than looks]

1. Don’t just look at one situation

You cannot base anything on one single situation that happened between you two. What you look for is a pattern. For example, say a guy smiles at you while you’re in line at the grocery store. That’s a good sign, but it still means nothing.

Now, you leave the grocery store and he walks by you and says something. That is a sign. He didn’t need to talk to you, but he went out of his way to do so. [Read: How guys flirt – 15 subtle things guys do to impress a girl]

2. Take small risks

Now, we’re not saying you need to confess your undying love for him and go down on your knee to propose. But you should take small risks to see if there’s a reaction. You want to do a little bit more than what you usually do.

So, if you like the coffee shop guy, instead of just saying hi, ask him how his weekend was. This is a small risk to see if he reacts positively. If he just nods and says, “It was good,” well, he’s not taking a step forward to match the risk you made. Again, he could be shy, but you’ll notice other signs besides if that’s the case. [Read: How to flirt with a shy guy – 15 baby steps to help him warm up]

3. He does something

If you chat away, and he just stands there nodding in silence, he’s not doing anything. If he is attracted to you, he will do something. By something, we mean, anything. He tries to keep the conversation going or start the conversation the next time he sees you. If you literally get nothing back in return, he’s not interested.

4. He hangs around you

If someone likes you, they want to spend time with you. It’s as simple as that. Now, maybe he’s too shy to ask you to hang out, so, feel free to make the first move. If he agrees to hang out with you, that’s a good sign. It doesn’t mean he likes you yet though.

However, if you two continue hanging out, then, take it as a sign that he’s attracted to you. Both, men and women, do not invest copious amounts of time with people they don’t find attractive. [Read: The 12 rules of attraction as explained by science]

When you like a guy, you take the extra time to make sure you look your best, right? So, why wouldn’t he?

You notice he’s wearing cologne, a clean, stain-free shirt, fixed his hair. Though you may not think of it as a huge deal, it is. That is, unless, he’s already into his appearance. Then, you can’t really tell if it’s because of you or him.

6. He asks you questions

Because he wants to know more! He wants to know more about you, so he’s asking you what your favorite ice cream is, what your hobbies are—he’s trying to see what kind of person you are.

At this point, he is attracted to you, but if he digs for information then he’s trying to work out if you’re someone he could see himself with. [Read: 75 flirty questions to ask your crush and make them think of you]

7. He compliments you

Now, men compliment women all the time, so, we wouldn’t take this one sign with huge importance. It means that they may be attracted to you, but are they interested in you?

It could be that he just wants to get you into bed, which we guess technically means he’s attracted to you. Anyways, the point is, if he notices your new haircut or says that he likes your shirt, it means he’s watching you. [Read: 20 clear signs of attraction in a first conversation]

8. He touches you

We don’t mean that he grabs your ass. If that happens, obviously, he’s attracted to you but he clearly doesn’t respect you.

We mean that he touches your arm or puts his hand on your back when you walk past him. These are respectful moments of physical contact but really show that he’s attracted to you and values you. That is much different from him just wanting to sleep with you.

9. He stands close to you

It’s not that he’s invading your personal space, but basically, he’s entering your personal space in a good way. If he’s attracted to you, you notice he sits closer to you than other guys.

Now, you can test this out by moving closer to him.

For example, if you sit next to each other, slide closer to him to show him something on your phone. If he doesn’t move away for more space between you two, it’s a good sign that he’s into you. If he inches even closer, that’s an even bigger answer to your question, is he attracted to me? [Read: 16 giveaways to watch for if he’s attracted to you]

10. He often makes eye contact

From experience, do you often look into the eyes of a guy who you don’t like? You might look at them, but you don’t do any prolonged glances in their direction. Why? Because it makes you feel uncomfortable and it gives off the wrong vibe.

Eye contact is a very important part of attraction. If he gives you an ample amount of eye contact, that’s usually done when there’s a romantic interest. Have you ever been around a guy who doesn’t like you? Yeah, he doesn’t even look at you. [Read: What does eye contact mean to a guy? Is he a subtle flirt?]

11. He’s all about smiling

When you’re around someone who makes you feel good, you can’t help but smile. Smiling is another important sign of attraction and warmth between two people, especially if there’s romantic interest involved. Men and women tend to smile naturally when they’re around someone they like.

But, if he only smiles with his mouth closed, there’s a high chance of him doing so just to be polite. [Read: Is he just shy or not interested? 15 ways to decode his behavior]

12. He flirts a lot

If he’s shy, he may not be able to flirt with you, but that doesn’t mean he’s not interested. But, if he’s not the shy type, then he’ll probably try to flirt with you.

Now, flirting is not enough of a sign to show that he’s into you. You might find yourself flirting with many people that you have no intention of being with sometimes, probably without even realizing it.

But what happens at the end of your conversation? Does it just end there? Or does he try to subtly ask you out or wish to see you again? [Read: 14 ways to know for sure if a guy is flirting with you]

13. You share similiar interests and he tries to connect with you based on those things

There’s a high chance that if you share similar interests with him, you both will find each other more attractive. For example, you tell him you love to watch basketball and then he says he loves basketball as well. This is him telling you, you have something in common.

If he didn’t want to connect with you, he wouldn’t be sharing this information with you. Instead, he would just nod his head and say “cool.” Then, he’ll try to connect with you based on the things you have in common, to take the conversation further.

14. He’s pretty protective of you

We don’t mean this in a controlling and obsessive way, if you notice those signs then you shouldn’t be trying to figure out if he likes you. You should run away in the opposite direction.

By protective, we mean if someone treats you disrespectfully, he steps in or makes sure you get home safely. That is being protective in a completely healthy and respectful way. [Read: The damsel in distress – Why all good men find them irresistible]

15. He shares his emotions with you

Despite what you might think, men are emotional. It’s just that often, they simply choose not to show it. If a man decides to share his feelings and emotions with you, this is usually a very big step for him. This means he trusts you and is most likely attracted to you. Sharing emotions is a crucial factor in connecting with someone. He let his guard down and wants you to see who he is.

16. He stares at you

We mentioned eye contact, but this is a little different. You probably notice this when you quickly catch a glimpse of him. When you really like someone, you probably won’t be able to stop looking at them.

So, for him, he’s having a hard time keeping himself in check. He may look away quickly or he could even hold eye contact with you after you catch him staring at you. Basically, he’s not just making eye contact, he’s admiring you. [Read: Signs a man is in love: 17 gestures that are louder than words]

17. He uses his manners

When he’s around his friends, he farts, burps, and talks bullshit. But when you’re around, he’s a little more low-key. He’s not burping, he’s holding those farts in, and instead, he’s asking you if you’re hungry or cold. For sure, he might just be a pretty well-mannered guy, but you’ll be able to tell the difference.

Now, you shouldn’t expect him to pull your chair out for you or throw his jacket on a puddle so you can walk over it—this isn’t the 1950s. But you’ll notice his manners coming out more when he’s around you. [Read: Proper social etiquette – 12 rules that redefine modern manners]

18. He tries to impress you

When a guy is attracted to you, he’d subconsciously try to impress you, it’s what evolution has taught him!

He may try to show off his physical prowess by lifting something heavy, or he may go out of his way to do you a favor. It doesn’t matter how small or big it is, if a man is attracted to you, he’d do everything he possibly can to make himself seem like the perfect example of a gentleman. [Read: What is chivalry? The knight’s code and modern men]

19. He texts you often

Does he text you good morning or even good night?

Why would a guy do this often, or even everyday, unless he’s totally smitten by you already? If a guy goes out of his way to stay in touch, and even initiates conversations just because, chances are, he’s trying to impress you.

20. He uses social media to flirt

Social media is a huge blessing for flirty friends. You don’t even have to directly tell someone you like them, all you need to do is share memes with them every day.

And then, in the middle of all those funny memes, he may slip in something complimentary, flirty, or even sexual. Of course, it’s a joke because it’s a meme. But if he’s doing this very often, odds are he’s attracted to you and is trying to drop a few hints to see how you’ll react to it.

21. He tries to spend alone time with you

Does he linger back and hang around even after all your other friends leave? If a guy tries everything he possibly can to spend time alone with you, even if it means dropping you off at home, or walking you home, or even arriving early if it means he can spend time with you, he’s more than just attracted to you.

He’s clearly fallen hard, and is doing everything he possibly can to slip out of the friend zone. [Read: 14 naughty ways to slip out of the friend zone in no time]

22. He asks you out casually

He may not want to ruin it all by asking you out on a date directly. But if you’re wondering, is he attracted to me, ask yourself if he asks you out casually all the time?

Does he text you one evening asking you if you’re bored *because he apparently is* and would like to hang out? Does he talk about a new restaurant he’d like to check out with you?

If a guy is attracted to you, he’s going to casually ask you out often. And somehow, it’s always just you two and no one else on that outing!

Wondering if a guy likes you sexually as well? Check out this guide on the 26 very obvious signs a guy is attracted to you sexually and desperately desires you!

So, he’s crushing back, what should you do?

You’ve been trying to work out the answer to ‘is he attracted to me’ and you’re pretty sure that, based on these signs, he is. So, what now? Put the poor guy out of his misery, that’s what!

Show him that you share his attraction and he’ll probably ask you out. Or, if you’re not into waiting and you want to take the initiative, just go on and ask him out instead. You know you want to! 

[Read: How to let a guy know you’re interested in him without appearing overeager]

Now that you know the signs, can you answer the question of ‘is he attracted to me?’ Are you seeing several of these signs? If so, there’s a very good chance he’s attracted to you!