Insecure Women: 15 Ways to Stop Damaging Yourself and Be Glorious

Believing in yourself isn’t easy if you’re one of the many insecure women in today’s society. However, it’s time to wake up and realize your wonder. 

In life, it’s common to feel insecure about something. We all have something we’re not so confident about. But, when you allow your insecurities to take over, you run the risk of limiting your potential and your happiness. There are many insecure women and men out there, but if that’s you, it’s time to understand that you have the power to turn it all around.

Before we even touch upon how insecurities damage relationships, you need to realize how damaging it is for yourself.

Many people who encounter insecure women have a tendency to label them as crazy or insane—which isn’t the case. They’re simply battling insecurities every single day of their lives. It’s exhausting and it can drastically affect the quality of life.

[Read: Insecurity in a relationship – How to feel more secure and love better]

What does it mean to be insecure?

There are different levels of insecurity. You can be insecure about just one thing.

For instance, many insecure women feel that way because of how they look, perhaps their weight or their hair. But, someone else might be insecure about a trait, such as an inability to do something – drive or swim, maybe.

There’s no point in trying to tell a person that their insecurity is unfounded. It’s personal to them and if they’re going to overcome it, they will need to work on themselves and unpick it over time.

Insecurities are a natural part of life but that doesn’t make them something you have to live with. You’ll struggle to find a person who has zero insecurities in life. Some people have them, they disappear for a while, and then later on they come back. What you need to do, if you’re one of the many insecure women out there, is identify your triggers and work on reducing them. Then, you can move forward and free yourself from your self-imposed limitations. [Read: 20 signs of insecurity people can’t hide when they feel insecure]

Insecure women aren’t crazy

It’s simple to say that if you want to have a meaningful relationship, overcome your insecurities. It won’t be easy.

However, if you don’t work on this, it always comes between you and your partner, as well as your happiness. So, it’s time for you to let go and ditch the insecure women group you’ve sat in this whole time. Sometimes, if you spend time around other insecure women, their insecurities start to be transferred onto you.

Of course, if you’re someone who knows a woman who is insecure or maybe you’re in a relationship with one, avoid labeling her as crazy. She’s not. In fact, she’s far from it. She’s just struggling with something and judging her won’t help.

But, if you’re an insecure woman, let’s look at some ways you can start to work on your insecurities and free yourself. [Read: 12 common guys’ insecurities that women don’t realize]

1. Go way back in time

Your insecurities didn’t all of a sudden pop-up. No, no, no. Start going back into your memory – way back.

Usually, our insecurities develop over a period of time. Maybe it has something to do with your parents or your first big love.

What is important is for you to spend some time thinking about when this insecurity of yours really started. When you can start to understand its origins, you’ll have information on how to begin solving it. [Read: How to leave your past and live your future]

2. Acknowledge your insecure behavior

Own up to it. You’re insecure. Say it out loud – “I am insecure.” It’s not a bad thing, you know. Everyone is insecure.

Now that you acknowledge it, you start to figure out what happened and how you’ll change that insecurity into something positive. It’s time to unchain yourself from your negative thoughts. [Read: 20 reasons why you might be insecure]

3. Do things on your own

You need to be your own person. We know couple’s yoga is all cute and whatever, but you need to do activities on your own or with your friends.

Suffocating your partner by always being around them isn’t going to help you bond or bring you closer. See how we used the word “suffocating”? Exactly. Don’t choke them.

4. More importantly – do things you like

We told you to do things on your own, but understand that you shouldn’t be doing it just because someone told you to. Genuinely choose activities that interest you and that you want to invest your time in.

Enjoy the time you spend apart—it’s your time! Don’t worry about feeling lonely, that’s not what time alone is about. It’s about investing in yourself and knowing that by nurturing your own happiness, it will manifest naturally. [Read: How to take care of yourself as a woman – 19 ways to power yourself]

5. You’re so vain

Listen, it’s not all about you. Really, it’s not. If your partner wants to stay home and watch a movie, this doesn’t mean they’re cheating on you. If your partner doesn’t want to go out with your friends, they’re not planning on breaking up with you.

People have many reasons why they do or do not do things. Did you ever think that maybe they’re tired? Not feeling well? Had a bad day at work?

Don’t take everything so personally and understand that people have their own reasons and motivations for doing or not doing things. [Read: How to stop being so sensitive about everything all the time]

6. Those negative thoughts? Ditch them if you want to stop being one of the insecure women

We all have negative thoughts, this is completely normal. Though, do you constantly wonder why this person wants to be with you, if they cheat on you, or if you’re even good enough for them?

See, these negative thoughts stem from your insecurities. So, when you doubt yourself, cut that thought and say to yourself that you are worth it. No more, insecure women thoughts that do nothing but limit you and cause you mental anguish. [Read: Is negative thinking ruining your life? 20 signs and tips to cope]

7. Leave your past relationships in the past

You may have been cheated on and we know, it’s a horrible feeling when someone betrays you. However, who says your new partner is anything like your last one?

The problem starts when you bring your old baggage into the new relationship. You haven’t even given them a chance.

In reality, you set them up to fail. Instead, take a leap of faith and avoid judging your partner by the same low standards that your ex set. You wouldn’t like it if a partner started judging you based on their ex, would you? So, don’t do the same to your partner. Give them a chance! [Read: 18 emotions you should never feel in a healthy relationship]

8. Insecure women don’t communicate their feelings – But you need to talk

You need to talk to your partner. Trust us, they probably already know you’re insecure, so, it won’t come as a shock to them. But you need to talk to them about your insecurities.

How else will they be able to help you overcome them if you’re not open about it? Talk. We know it’s uncomfortable, but it’s the only way you two will be on the same page. [Read: 14 steps for true emotional connection]

9. Do not be dependent on your partner

This is a huge problem and what really breeds extra insecurity. Of course, you want someone to kiss, cuddle, hug, and love. However, if you depend on your partner to provide you with all the positive feelings you need in life, well, you’re going to be disappointed.

Can they give you love? Yes. But… and we know you’ve heard this before, you need to love yourself first. That way, their love for you is the cherry on top of the cake. [Read: How to be less codependent and enjoy your life as it could be]

10. Be self-aware to get out of the insecure women camp

It’s really important that you become self-aware about your mental and emotional state. Maybe you see your partner talking to someone of the opposite sex and all of a sudden, you feel your body temperature rising and your hands sweat.

This isn’t because you’re happy, this is your body reacting to jealousy.

Practice becoming aware of how your body reacts to negative thoughts and feelings. Once you’re aware of them, you can do something about them.

11. Focus on your breathing

When you see yourself becoming jealous or angry, do one thing – breathe. The best part of becoming self-aware is when you notice your body’s reaction before the negative thoughts appear. You’ll be able to catch yourself before it happens and control your mind and emotions through breathing.

We know it sounds a little hippie but it really works. Your breath is the one constant thing you have in life and if you need to ground yourself, it will always be there to help you. [Read: 21 positive and easy mantras to transform your life forever]

12. Trust your partner

If you don’t trust your partner, your relationship will not work. It’s as simple as that. We really cannot sugarcoat this for you. Without trust, you have nothing. This is why it’s so important to work on your self-esteem and insecurities because if you constantly doubt them, how can your relationship function in a healthy manner?

You need to give them your trust and don’t constantly doubt them for no solid reason. [Read: How to get over trust issues in your relationship and move forward]

13. Do not confuse reality with imagination

In some cases, you’ll be right. Your partner may actually be doing something behind your back but this is because it’s reality. It’s not something you develop in your imagination because they didn’t text you in the last fifteen minutes.

Do not mix up reality with your imagination, it takes you down an endless road where you snoop in their email and check their call log history. Don’t do it. Stick with logic and facts and don’t overthink small things which have no basis in the here and now.

14. Don’t think of the perfect relationship

We hear this a lot with women and men – they say, it’s not 100%. What does that even mean? What is a 100% relationship?

Every relationship is different because the people involved are different. If you’re looking for the relationship you have created in your mind, understand that doesn’t exist. This fuels insecurity because you’re constantly looking for flaws. Instead, learn to appreciate the relationship you have and enjoy it. [Read: Learn to be present and find your zone of calm]

15. Insecure women need to know that it takes time to change

Your insecurities aren’t going to vanish overnight. Consistently give yourself positive praise and process your insecurities. So, if you really want to do this, know that this is a long-term process.

However, while you work through your insecurities, you’ll notice how different your relationships with your partner, family, and friends will be.

Everyone is a work in progress

For sure, there are many insecure women out there but there are insecure people the world over. Nobody is the finished article, and what even is that? Perfection doesn’t exist.

The most important thing is to stop comparing yourself to others. When you do that, you’ll always come up short and start beating yourself up for something you don’t have or not looking a certain way. You’re a wonderful version of you already, and if you want to tweak that and get rid of insecurities, you’ll be all the better for it. [Read: Self-concept – What it is and why it’s crucial to your happiness]

Focus on yourself and stop worrying about what the outside world thinks.

You might assume that everyone out there is happy and enjoying themselves. But in reality, they’re worried about a million things and dealing with their own insecurities too. All you can do is focus on yourself and the rest will sort itself out.

[Read: 15 ways to grow up and behave like a mature adult]

Insecure women are not crazy—they’re insecure. If you feel you’re an insecure woman, develop out of it and enjoy a healthy relationship with yourself and your partner. It just takes work and commitment.