How to Text After a First Date & Make Them Fall for You Even Harder

You had a first date, and you’re hoping there’s a second date. Knowing how to text after a first date can make or break your chances of a second.

Understanding how to text after a first date is always tricky. Your date went well, so you want a second. That’s not the tricky part. Figuring out what to do after the first date can be the hard part.

There’s the idea of the “three-day rule,” but why would you wait three days until you text the person you’re interested in?

Now, I don’t know how you handle yourself on a date or after the date ends. You could be amazing on the date, and your weak spot is the texting in between or vice versa. But we’re going to focus on after the first date.

[Read: The follow-up texting guide after that great first date]

How to text after a first date

You want another date; I get it. But how are you going to handle the days in between dates? Going completely silent isn’t going to do the trick, and neither will be texting them every three minutes. Now, you don’t need to do everything on this list.

Feel out the situation yourself and go with the flow. If they text you back after a couple of minutes and it’s consistent, you don’t need to wait three days. Get what I mean? So, let’s get to it and talk about what to do after the first date when you’re texting each other.

Nail the second date with this advice for how to text after the first date. [Read: Strong feelings after a first date? Here’s how to recognize all the right signs]

#1 Don’t make a big deal out of it. This is for yourself. You’re texting someone; this isn’t a marriage proposal. You don’t need to be making this a big deal, even if you really like this person.

The minute you place them on a pedestal, you lose yourself. Remember, they’re human just like you. Relax, take a deep breath; it’s going to be okay. [Read: How to not rush into a relationship and avoid the crash and burn]

#2 Don’t text right away… but don’t wait too long. It’s a balancing act. You shouldn’t text them right away, give some space for them to digest the date. A little space never hurt anyone. That being said, you also should go with the vibes of the date. If you really hit it off, you don’t need to wait a day or two to text them. All I can say is, just don’t wait three days if you’re looking for a second date.

#3 Keep your goal in mind. What’s the entire point of you texting this person? It’s to get yourself a second date with them, right? Sure, you can chat with them, but plan your next date as soon as possible. You don’t want the high from your date to fade away. After a few text messages, see when this person is free again and make a plan. [Read: How to confirm a date without sounding too desperate]

#4 Start the conversation where you left off. If you don’t know what to say to them, start the conversation off with something you’ve talked about on the first date. It could be about a TV show they talked about, or some joke you two laughed at. This will help you ease into a conversation with them and get things going. 

#5 Don’t go sexual with the texts. Of course, if you had sex on the first date, then ignore this tip as it doesn’t apply to you. But if you ended the first date with a hug or a kiss, don’t jump into the dirty talk before the second date. You don’t know how this person feels about you yet, and it could risk you seeing them again.

#6 Keep your messages short. You don’t need to write a short essay for your date. Keep your messages short. The real conversation you want to have should be in person, so save it until the second date. Long messages can add pressure to the other person, plus, they’re draining to read.

#7 If you’re a guy, no dick pics. If you’re a guy, unless a woman has specifically asked you for a dick pic, you should never send them to anyone. Sure, there is a chance she could respond positively to it, but it’s not respectful. Come on, you actually think dick pics are nice to look at? Think again. Keep it in your pants. [Read: How to be a better texter and someone everyone enjoys texting with]

#8 Be flirtatious. But, don’t force it. When you’re wondering how to text after a first date, there’s a lot of pressure to be flirty, funny and really interesting. But remember this, if you have good chemistry, then flirting will come naturally, and that’s fine.

However, there are some people who feel like they need to force the chemistry to happen. Listen, if it’s not happening naturally, it’s not going to happen in the future. It’s fun to flirt, but only when the other person is equally invested in it. 

#9 Keep the conversation light. You do not need to talk about religion and politics via text message, first of all. And you should definitely leave these topics until the second or third date.

You didn’t even land yourself a second date, and now you want to unload your feelings about these heavy subjects? Take it easy. Have a light conversation via text, leave the serious topics for in-person conversations. [Read: 14 really smooth ways to text girls and get anyone interested in you]

#10 Go easy on the emojis. Now, I’m not a hater of emojis. I think they can be great for communication and getting the point across to someone and clear up any confusion. But you don’t need your message to be full of emojis. Keep it to a tasteful amount. [Read: How to text a guy first – 14 ballsy moves to make the first move]

#11 Get the hint and back off. You may like your date, but your date didn’t feel the same way. Instead of telling you how they feel, they’re not really replying to your texts, and are giving you one or two-worded replies. It’s clear they’re not interested, they just don’t know how to let you down. Get the hint and back off before you end up chasing a lost cause. 

#12 Accept the answer. So, let’s say you ask this person for a second date, but they declined your invitation. Sure, you’re bummed out, anyone would be. But you should accept their wishes and move on. Don’t become angry or lash out at them. Not everyone is going to like you, and you don’t like everyone either. [Read: How to stop having feelings for someone who won’t like you back]

#13 Go with the flow. At the end of the day, only you know your feelings and how the first date went. If it went well and you are frequently texting, great. Now, meet them in person again. If you’re not sure how they feel, odds are they probably feel the same way. And that’s also okay. Just go with the flow and be easy on yourself.

[Read: Use these 12 texting habits in the early stages of dating]

So, you had your first date. Now, you’re in limbo. But you can get yourself a second date just as long as you play your cards right and understand how to text after a first date the right way.