How to Tell a Guy You Love Him For the First Time At the Right Time

Wondering how to tell him you love him? This does not have to be so hard. You can tell a guy you love him with grace and ease.

Some people think that the most difficult part of love is actually falling in love, but once you’re there, there is something much more worrisome. That is until how to tell a guy you love him.

Once you are in love, you would think everything else would just fall into place, right? Wrong. Telling him you love him is not as easy as just spitting it out.

Love isn’t a word you just want to throw around. You want to be sure you mean it, and you desperately hope he feels it too. All those worries get bundled up and make telling him you love him feel more like a risk than a romantic moment.

The feelings of love can be so overwhelming it makes something simple like saying those three words seem so scary and intense. But, the good news is, it doesn’t have to be so bad. You can tell a guy you love him without all the worrying and second-guessing. [Read: How soon is too soon to say “I love you” for the first time]

Why do you want to tell him you love him?

This may seem obvious, but keep reading. You might be thinking, well, I love him, of course, I want to tell him. But, sometimes, that feeling can be confusing.

Think back to high school or college. If you’ve said, I love you, to a guy before, you may look back on that and realize you didn’t really love him. But, instead, you wanted him to love you. You hoped that by telling him you love him, he would say it back, and it would move your possibly-confusing relationship forward.

So, do you want to tell a guy you love him because you want him to know how you feel? Or because you want to know how he feels? It should be the first one. [Read: 17 signs you really love him and do see a future with him]

Do you love him or do you just like him?

There’s a big difference between these two, and especially if this is the first time you find yourself liking someone, chances are, it’s more of a crush or an infatuation than real love.

There are stages to falling in love, and it starts with infatuation, like, and well down the road, those feelings turn to love. So if you want to know how to tell a guy you “love” him, firstly, as yourself if you’re past the other stages of liking him as well. [Read: 16 psychological facts about crushes to help you decode what you’re really feeling]

If you’ve been dating this guy, or you both have just been talking for a while, perhaps you can start by telling him how you feel honestly – that you like him. Date each other for a while and see how it goes. And if everything going swimmingly, then perhaps it’s time for you to tell him you love him.

For starters, if you like him, use this guide on the 20 best risk-free ways to tell your crush that you like him and get him to like you back.

And once you’re past this stage of infatuation and crushes, read on, because the next step is telling a guy you love him!

Should you wait for the guy to say “I love you” first?

In one word – No. You definitely don’t have to wait for the guy to make the move. If you feel it, it’s totally acceptable to say it. Perhaps, traditionally *over 100 years ago?!* it was the guy who made the first move. But these days, really, no one cares whether it’s the guy or the girl who says it first.

If you feel it, say it. BUT you need to be sure you actually do feel it, and it’s not just infatuation. [Read: How to know for sure that what you’re feeling is love and not lust or infatuation]

If you want to be on the safer side, and read his feelings before you actually tell him you love him, use these 25 signs he loves you even if he hasn’t said it out loud to read his mind before you share your thoughts with him. If you see at least a few of these signs, big chances are, he’s deeply in love with you already!

How to tell a guy you love him

Just about all girls who have said “I love you” to a guy wish they had first asked somebody how to tell a guy you love him before saying it out. Maybe they would have avoided tears, anxiety, and pain.

Luckily, we’re here to prevent you from regretting anything. When you tell a guy you love him, you will do it with confidence and poise.

It’s not as simple as saying those three special words, but it is worth it when done right.

1. Be confident

Nothing could be more important than this. Confidence is key when telling a guy you love him. Be confident in your feelings and who you are as a person. You are worthy of giving love and being loved in return.

If you are super nervous, not only will that come across to him, but it will encourage you to second-guess yourself as well. Confidence helps you feel good and excited going into this magical moment. [Read: 20 sweet and easy ways to tell your boyfriend you love him]

2. Make sure you really do love him

We have already been over this, but being sure you are truly in love with this guy is important. It can be hard to know for sure. Right now, you could feel so happy, but down the road, maybe not. But that is the risk that comes with love, and you need to be willing to take it.

Take the time to truly reflect on your emotions and the external factors that may affect your feelings for him. Doing this before telling a guy you love him will help you gain that confidence. [Read: How to tell if you actually love someone – Will you just know?]

3. You only get one chance

You only get one chance to tell a guy you love him for the first time. Make it special. If you’ve been feeling this way for some time, then schedule a romantic date night, and tell him. It doesn’t need to be over the top, but turning to him and saying it while you’re eating chicken wings in the car, may not be the best.

This is a moment you will want to remember for your entire relationship. It can be subtle and sweet or a big gesture, but the more pizzazz you put into it, the higher your expectations tend to be. [Read: How to ask a guy to be your boyfriend without appearing clingy]

4. It doesn’t need tons of planning

It could get emotional, and it might not be in the perfect candlelit setting. Sometimes the best “I love you’s” come out of nowhere and aren’t planned at all.

Be prepared for this, because it could actually be quite beautiful and catch you by surprise.

Telling a guy you love him before saying goodnight or when he makes you smile by doing something sweet can mean just as much as doing it at sunset on the beach. [Read: Memorable ways to say ‘I love you without saying a word]

5. Don’t expect anything

Remember, you are telling a guy you love him because you want him to know how you feel, not because you expect a certain reaction or response. Don’t expect him to say it back or not. Both of those expectations will throw you off.

Either you’ll be worried he won’t say it back or be heartbroken if he doesn’t. Saying I love you is about sharing your feelings, not pressuring him. [Read: How to deal with saying “I love you” and not hearing it back]

6. Be prepared for any outcome

This sounds terrible, but be prepared for silence–or worse. You may be so excited about telling a guy you love him, but perhaps he doesn’t feel the same way.

This could look two different ways: He could (1) not fully love you YET, or he could (2) not see a future with you at all.

If it is the first option, be patient with him and thankful, because you would much rather tell him to say “I love you” when he truly feels it, not just because he feels like he should say it back. If it is the second option, then it is best to let it go.

Sometimes the world has two wonderful individuals that just don’t work as a duo. You tried, and it didn’t work out as planned. At least you took a chance. Life tends to do that often. [Read: How to beat the fear of rejection when you want to tell him you love him]

7. Do it in person – PLEASE

Of course, in-person conversations can be absolutely terrifying, but please don’t tell a guy you love him over text *for the first time*.

Say it in person because seriously, nothing beats the look on his face when he hears you say those special words to him for the first time.

If you are in a long-distance relationship, try and do it in person as well. If you really can’t, then do it via a video chat. Just try your best to make this moment as memorable and personal as you can.

If you say, I love you, over text, not only does it seem like not that big of a deal, but he may think you just said it casually, not because you meant it. [Read: 17 sweet and easy ways to say “I love you” to your boyfriend]

8. Make sure you trust him

A huge part of loving someone is trusting them, so before you tell him you love them, make sure you trust him. This is important because you cannot truly love someone entirely unless you trust them.

A part of your heart is closed off from that person if you do not trust them. It is important to know that you love and trust him before telling a guy you love him. [Read: Can you trust your boyfriend? 12 questions to help you decide]

9. Think it through…

Oftentimes, love leads to life. What that means is, when you love someone, you typically will want to spend your life *or at least a large portion of it* with that person. Think about it, can you see yourself creating a life with this person? If not, maybe reconsider whether or not you truly love him.

You could have feelings of love for him, but are those being mixed with passion and chemistry? Do you have crazy levels of intimacy? Can you really see this guy being your match? Telling a guy, you love him, should not just be off the cuff.

10. Do it in private

When telling a guy you love him for the first time, you need to keep in mind that it is a very special moment between the two of you, and you deserve your privacy.

Don’t do this at a family dinner, as if it is an announcement for everybody and their dog to hear. This is a personal moment between you.

You don’t want him to freak out in front of everyone. That is a lot of pressure. No matter how much you know he feels it too. share that moment privately. [Read: When should you say “I love you” for the first time?]

11. Be patient

Hearing the news that your partner loves you can be a lot for some people to process. Be patient. They may take some time to think about it before responding. And this could look different for every relationship.

He may take two minutes to respond, or he may get up and leave the room. This doesn’t mean he is upset, but he might have a previous trauma that has been triggered from this moment.

This also might just come as a huge surprise to him. He could need time to determine what to say to you in response. Just be patient with your partner. If you love him as you say you do, you will want what is best for him and your relationship.

12. Have a follow-up discussion

This might sound silly, but after telling a guy you love him, it is important to discuss how it made him feel. This conversation might come naturally following your statement. However, it might need to happen a few days or weeks after. You need to know how it made him feel to understand what this means for your relationship together.

Also, let him know how his reaction made you feel and even why you love him. These follow-up conversations are what take you from saying I love you for the first time to really knowing what it means to both of you. [Read: 13 obvious gender differences in gender communication]

13. You are not a reflection of who does or doesn’t love you

This may not end the way you expect. He might not feel the same way, but it is important to remember that you do not take how he feels about you and make that how you feel about yourself.

You are worthy of love and affection, and perhaps he isn’t the person to give it to you. It might even be a case of timing. Maybe he just isn’t in the right place to reciprocate love. That’s okay. You will get through this feeling. Telling a guy, you love him and not hearing it back isn’t the end of the world. [Read: He likes you but doesn’t want a relationship with you? Here’s how to deal with it]

14. Don’t overthink it

After all of this, hearing the words “don’t overthink it” seems ridiculous, but seriously. Try to trust your gut and just go with it. You don’t need to worry about how he might react to you telling him you love him. Stop worrying about the right way to say it or when the perfect time is. If it is meant to be, it will all work out.

15. Enjoy this time

Enjoy the excitement of saying “I love you” to a guy for the first time. This is not something to whine over. You should be happy. You are in love. Congratulations!

How long should a guy ideally take to respond to your “I love you”?

Honestly? If you truly do love him, and you both have been dating at least a few months, he should probably say “I love you too” right back, literally seconds after you say it! *after pausing for a few seconds to flash a big grin, that is!*

That’s why timing is so important if you want to know how to tell a guy you love him. There really is no rush to say it, is there? Take your time, go with the flow of the relationship and see where it takes you. And when you’re truly sure you love him, and enjoy spending time with him, chances are he’ll be feeling the same way too!

[Read: Does he love me? 37 signs he’s past like and totally in love with you]

Learning how to tell a guy you love him can be tricky and complicated, but it doesn’t have to. If you trust yourself and remain confident, you’ll create a beautiful moment.