How to Sweet Talk a Girl: 19 Smooth Ways to Melt Her with Words

Do you have zero idea how to sweet talk a girl? Well, listen up and learn because mastering the art of sweet talk could be the way to your crush’s heart! 

Men are from Mars and women are from Venus, or so the saying goes. And sometimes, when guys are randomly trying to make a move on a woman, that really does seem to be the case. A lot of the time, this clash comes down to the different emotional registers that men and women have. What a man might often consider subtle, for example, a woman may view as something akin to a car crash. That’s why learning how to sweet talk a girl in the right way is key. Then, you’re at least slightly on the same page!

The very fact that most guys target articles with titles like “how to charm her pants off” or “get out of her friend zone and into her bed” says a lot about how most guys operate. Most see sexual intercourse as an end game rather than part of a relationship.

But that isn’t how women usually work. That’s why this feature uses the phrase “sweet talk” rather than “charm” or “seduce.” It’s intended for guys with a little more substance about them, and who’d prefer a full and proper relationship with the object of their affections rather than just a quick tumble between the sheets.

[Read: How to start a conversation with a girl and make her really like you]

Hang on, what is sweet talk exactly?

It’s true that the whole idea of sweet talk also has negative connotations attached to it. When we sweet talk someone, we’re usually saying what they want to hear, to get what we want. But it doesn’t always mean that.

In this case, learning how to sweet talk a girl doesn’t mean that you’re manipulating her. It means that you’re speaking to her in a way that she’ll respond positively to.

Of course, you should make sure that what you’re telling her is actually true and that you’re not lying to get what you want. If you’re faking it just to get into her pants, you should be reading a whole different article! [Read: How to get a girl to sleep with you – 15 steps to seal the deal]

The point is that if you want to learn how to sweet talk effectively, you need to go into it with the right intentions. Yes, you like this girl, but no, you don’t just want to get her into bed. You’re not trying to charm her in that way.

Instead, you’re trying to get her to open up to the possibility of getting to know you better. Then, perhaps something a little more romantic may develop.

[Read: How to talk to a girl – The secrets to smooth talk and impress girls]

How to sweet talk a girl in the right way

In this case, sweet talking is the act of honestly and politely sharing your feelings and observations about a woman who you respect and admire. The following tips show you how to sweet talk a girl you like in the best way possible.

1. Make eye contact

Before you actually begin your attempt at sweet talk, start maintaining some serious lingering eye contact first. This negates any element of surprise by showing her that you’re interested in talking to her. It eases you into the conversation without interrupting the general flow. [Read: How to look into a girl’s eyes without looking or behaving like a creep]

2. Don’t use pick-up lines

One of the most important parts of sweet talk, especially at the beginning, is that you must avoid looking like a creep at all costs.

Unfortunately, those tried and true pick-up lines will likely earn you little more than a cold shoulder. They’re never a good idea, and when learning how to sweet talk a girl, stick to honest conversation instead. [Read: 70 hilarious cheesy pick-up lines to get a girl laughing]

3. Wait for the right moment

Making your first foray into conversation with the girl you have your eye upon must be done in a timely and appropriate fashion. She, nor anyone else, will thank you for leaping into the fray mid-conversation. Uncool and unlikely to impress. You’ll easily be able to recognize the right moment when it arrives. [Read: How to approach a girl you don’t know and impress her]

4. Be respectful

Rowdy movie moves rarely work in real life. Decent women, contrary to popular belief, do NOT like a bad boy and, instead, feel deserving of a significant degree of respect. Rightly so.

Failure to do so will get you nowhere. Respect costs nothing and without it, you’re not going to even get the chance to start sweet talking. [Read: 13 rules of etiquette for the modern gentleman]

5. Watch your body language

When you eventually get to talk to her, make sure your eye contact is strong, your body is squarely facing her, and your posture is upright.

Slouching, glancing, and turning away will just be interpreted as a signal that you’re not really interested.

Remember, your body speaks for you too. If your words and your body language aren’t in alignment, it’s not going to work. [Read: 15 body language cues a girl gives away if she likes you]

6. The humble question mark

Questions are so important in sweet talk, as they show that you are interested enough in her to let her do some talking, and that you aren’t an emotionally selfish person.

Just try not to rattle them off like a game show host. When learning how to sweet talk a girl, make sure you pick open-ended questions and avoid anything that has a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer.

7. Observe everything

If you’ve seen her before, make sure you commit everything about her to memory so you can pick up on any changes. Hairstyle, nails, the colors that she wears, etc. Then tell her in a complimentary fashion that you’ve noticed. Men rarely do this, so when they do, it definitely won’t go unnoticed. [Read: 18 qualities of a good man that sets him apart from lesser men]

8. Compliment frequently – but authentically

Adding to the last tip, never be shy of complimenting her. All women love to be told they’re beautiful, well dressed, and have a great smile or laugh. And it’s a great way to begin showing her that she means more to you than just another face in a crowd.

But, make sure that any compliments you give are genuine and authentic. She’ll be able to read a fake compliment a mile away! [Read: How to compliment a girl and make her blush]

9. Avoid sobriety

By that we don’t mean go out and get drunk—we’re referring to the other kind of sobriety. We’re talking about the fact that being overly serious is never likely to bring you closer to the woman you’re hoping to sweet talk. That doesn’t mean you need to become a stand-up comic in her presence, but relax and simply be a little humorous occasionally.

Serious isn’t attractive and if you’re trying to learn how to sweet talk a woman, it won’t do you any favors. [Read: How to be funny and make all girls love your company]

10. Be confident

Don’t be scared of being yourself or showing those around you that you believe in yourself and your words. She’s far more likely to listen to you if you show that your words mean something.

However, there is a thin line between confidence and arrogance. Nobody likes an arrogant guy, so make sure that you stay on the right side of that line to avoid the cold shoulder. When learning how to sweet talk a girl, that’s one of the most important points to remember.

11. Be genuine at all times, not just in compliments

Always resist the urge towards idle flattery and made-up stories intended to impress. In truth, nothing will impress her more than someone who displays good manners, integrity, and respect for others.

When you’re fake or a show-off, it’s obvious. Even someone who doesn’t know you that well will be able to see it, because your body language will react. Just stick to being yourself. [Read: How to impress a girl – 21 atypical secrets you must know]

12. Focus on her mind too

Do realize that this is a real, thinking being standing before you, and she is far more than just a body alone.

No matter how beautiful she is, you need to focus on all of her qualities and make sure that these are reflected in your compliments. Focus on her intelligence, her personality, her sense of humor, and don’t just focus on her looks. [Read: The best compliments for a girl – 25 genuine lines she’ll love to hear]

13. Keep sex right out of it

Even if everything is going swimmingly and you’re starting to believe that you’ve actually got a chance of convincing this charming woman of your own merits, resist the urge to let the talk become sexual.

Jumping on the sexual front too early can easily put you back at square one. She’ll simply think that you’re just after one thing and the conversation will be over. [Read: The 20 best topics to talk about with a girl and keep her really interested in you]

14. Give her your undivided attention

While you’re talking to her, she should be the only woman in the room. Even if Miss Venezuela walked into the joint, you’d better make sure that your eyes don’t stray an inch.

Be present in the moment and avoid checking your phone, even if it beeps in your pocket. For that moment, you’re focusing only on her – it’s what she deserves.

15. Talk about family

Not too much, obviously, but women love it when guys talk about family. It shows that you have a loving nature that isn’t solely tied to sexual matters.

She will trust your sweet talk much more when it occasionally touches upon such subjects. [Read: 19 clear signs you are ready for a serious relationship]

16. Remember to smile

That doesn’t mean grinning like a crazy person throughout the entire conversation, but do smile regularly. Smiling is disarming and it will make her feel comfortable in your presence.

She will see that you’re a warm person with who she may want to stand and have a longer conversation with. If you pout and avoid smiling, the opposite will occur. [Read: How to keep a conversation going with a girl and brighten her up instantly]

17. Make sure she feels comfortable

You’ll be able to tell if she’s uncomfortable in any way by reading her body language. If she’s fidgeting, looking away, not really speaking and just generally seems distracted, that’s your cue.

In that case, you need to make her feel more comfortable. The timing of your sweet talk is important here, where you do it, and the way you’re standing or appearing to her.

Be relaxed, attentive, smiling, and calm. If you make her feel comfortable, the conversation is more likely to continue. [Read: 15 body language cues a girl gives away if she likes you]

18. Remember your manners

No, this isn’t a joke.

Manners count for a lot and if you’re not showing them to her, she’s likely to judge you as a rude person. Make sure that you treat everyone around you with respect, not just her. So, if you’re in a coffee shop line, thank the barista and don’t just bark orders at them.

Of course, with her, make sure that you’re kind and polite too – it’s a small thing that goes a long way. [Read: Proper social etiquette – 12 rules that define modern manners]

19. Know when to call it quits

Sometimes, no matter how well practiced or how well-meaning you are, the sweet talk just doesn’t work. Maybe you’re tired and your performance is off, or maybe some other jerk has already jumped in before you and spoiled any chance you might have had with her.

At times like this, there is only one course of action – walk. Wait until the next time you see her, when the stars are more in your favor, and try to win her affections then. Trying too hard when the ground has already been spoiled might scupper your chances indefinitely.

[Read: How to tell if a girl doesn’t like you – 25 signs you just can’t ignore]

Don’t just stand there in open-mouthed awe of the object of your affections. Learn how to sweet talk a girl, and win her over with some dedicated conversation and turn your romantic fantasy into a fact of real life.