How to Stop Obsessing Over Someone: The 22 Things You MUST Do

When you like someone, it’s easy to get addicted to them like a drug. So, how to stop obsessing over someone? We have your answers right here.

We’ve all fallen into the mind trap of being obsessed with someone. Everything about them captures you—the way their hair falls, their smile, the way they say your name. If you had it your way, you’d marry them and have their babies. They’re everything you could ever want and more. But this isn’t love. Sorry to break it to you, but it’s not. It’s lust that’s turned into an obsession. Here is how to stop obsessing over someone and get on with life.

Why are you obsessed over something? 

You need to sit down with yourself and think about why you are obsessed with them. What is it about you and what is it about that person that makes them so irresistible?

Finding out some of the reasons for your obsession helps you work on yourself and become more aware of some of your triggers.

Start with your childhood. What was it like? Were you neglected by either of your parents at some point in your life? If so, you might have developed a negative attachment style called anxious-attachment. [Read: The 4 attachment styles and how they impact your relationship]

What is the anxious-attachment style? Well, it’s when you have emotionally attached yourself to someone so much that it gives you major anxiety. It could be someone you know really well, or it could be someone you just met. Either way, your attachment becomes obsessive.

If you can reflect on your childhood relationship with your parents and realize that it has most likely manifested into this attachment style, it is a good start. Admitting that you have tendencies to attach too quickly and too deeply to people and things is the only way you are going to learn how to stop obsessing over someone. [Read: Obsessive love – 15 ways to tell if it’s real or just unhealthy]

How to stop obsessing over someone

This isn’t the movie Twilight. Edward is actually an obsessive creep. When you’re obsessed, you’re not really enamored by them. Rather, you’re engulfed by your perception of them. But everything about them isn’t what it seems, most of it is in your head.

Trust us, we have all been obsessed with someone at some point in our lives. Eventually, when most of us take a step back, we realize that we created this image of them in our minds. And most of it was in our heads.

1. Admit that you’re being obsessive

Before you can get over them, you need to admit to yourself that you’re obsessed. Admit that this isn’t healthy behavior and that you need to make a change.

Once this happens, then you’ll be able to move on with your life. But until then, you stay trapped under your obsession with them. [Read: 10 reasons taking a break from dating can help you find the one]

2. Go out

When it’s the weekend, go out. Call your friends and go dancing or grab a drink. Don’t sit at home and become a hermit. Go out and continue living your life because they still live their life and you know it. [Read: 33 steps to stop thinking about someone you like but can never have]

3. Stop doing things that remind you of them

If they love swimming or running along the seawall, you doing the same isn’t going to help you. In fact, you probably just do that so you run into them.

Come on, you can do better than that. If you do things because you know they’ll show up, stop. If you do things just to keep their memory alive, stop.

4. Give yourself time to move on

This isn’t going to happen in a day. In fact, this is going to take months and months. So, give yourself some time, and don’t be so hard on yourself if it takes you longer than you expected.

You actually have no idea how long it’ll take. Everyone is different. [Read: How long does a crush last? The magic number & steps to get over it faster]

5. Talk to your friends and family

Your friends and family probably know the situation very well, and they also have an outsider’s perspective which is really important.

Their perspective helps you understand things about yourself and that person. Maybe you overlooked things that they saw. Plus, they’ll be able to comfort and support you during this period.

6. Keep busy

Sitting at home, staring at their pictures on your phone day after day isn’t going to make this process go by any faster.

Instead, keep yourself busy. Go to the movies, hang out with friends, or if you want to be alone, bake, watch a movie, or read a book. Don’t sit and dwell. [Read: Giving up on life? 25 ways to find strength again and change your attitude]

7. Get away 

Get out of town, just take the weekend and go camping with friends, or do a wild weekend in Vegas. The point is to distract yourself from this person. The best way to do that is to completely remove yourself from anything that reminds you of them. [Read: The step-by-step guide to getting over unrequited love]

8. Remember the bad times

Think of this as a break-up, which usually means you only think about the good times with that person and you miss them terribly. But you need to remember the bad times too.

The times they played mental games with you, didn’t want to commit to you, used you, or degraded you. Those times are the times you need to remember because that’s when they showed their true colors. [Read: How to stay away from someone and read the signs they’re bad for you]

9. Talk to a professional

Sometimes, trying to move past something on your own isn’t easy. It usually takes people a very long time to get over the person they are strongly obsessed with.

It probably would help if you went to a therapist since they would give you the tools to use to help you move on.

10. Get some exercise

You’re clearly not going to be having a good time while you try to separate yourself from this person. That being said, take that pent-up energy and sweat it out. Not only is it healthy for you, but you’ll feel lighter mentally after it.

When we are obsessed with someone, it’s so easy to stalk them on social media. It’s almost like this bad habit is a drug. You need your constant “fix” by always checking up on them and what they are doing.

But this constant preoccupation with them on social media will only drive you crazier than you already feel. It’s difficult, but you really need to refocus your energy off them in the social media world. Here are some ways to do that.

11. Block them on social media

Yeah, this is the worst part. It might seem impossible to do because let’s face it, you don’t want to do it! But you have to. Trust us, it’s for the best.

Unfollow them on everything. It’s going to be hard, and you feel like you betray them. But you need this for your mental health.

Remove them on social media so you won’t feel the need to cyberstalk them. If you block them, then you can’t obsess because you won’t even be able to find them. Out of sight, out of mind… right? [Read: Power trip – Is the psychology of blocking someone more about your ego?]

12. Limit yourself on social media

Research shows that most people spend entirely too much time on social media. We’re talking like at least 4-6 hours a day. Isn’t that ridiculous?

Think of all the things you could accomplish in life if you had all that time back! [Read: Dangers of social media – why it makes you feel really insecure]

So, in addition to blocking them on social media, limit your own time too. Put away your phone so it’s not a temptation.

Set a timer for yourself when you do go on there. When you limit your time either through your phone’s settings, an app, or just a pomodoro timer on your table, you will inevitably stop thinking about what they’re posting, because you won’t even be on there to notice.

13. Pay attention to other people on social media

You can stalk anyone on social media, not just the person you are obsessed with. So have a little fun and spy on other people. Look up an old boyfriend or girlfriend from high school. Look through their photos and postings. What are they up to lately?

When you re-direct your attention to others *and not the person you are obsessed with*, you will still find some interesting people to gawk at. It could be another cute person you have a crush on, or the new person who started working with you.

Either way, start looking around at other people to break your habit. It’s one of the great ways for how to stop obsessing over someone. [Read: How to stop obsessing over a guy you’re interested in]

How to stop obsessing over someone not texting back

Everyone has their own texting habits. Some people hate it, and some people are addicted.

So, when you become obsessed with someone, you also become obsessed with their texting habits when it comes to your communication with them.

14. They might be busy

Just because you drop everything the moment a text comes in doesn’t mean everyone does. Hey, people work. They go to school. People are hanging out with their friends, just like you do.

So, if you are obsessing that it’s taking too long for people to text you back, then you need to realize that the world doesn’t revolve around you. They have a life too, right? 

15. They might not like texting

Some people hate texting, and they would prefer to either talk on the phone or hang out face-to-face. So, if you’re one of these people who could text 24/7, you need to realize that not everyone is like you.

Don’t judge them for their personal preferences. And don’t take their non-texting as a personal insult, because it probably isn’t at all. [Read: When a girl doesn’t text back – Why girld do that and what you need to do next]

16. Text other people

Instead of obsessing over someone who doesn’t text you back right away *or at all*, find other people to text.

There are plenty of people in the world who would love to be your texting buddy. Get into a conversation with them instead of sitting around twiddling your thumbs waiting for your obsession to get around to answering you.

[Read: Being left on read – What it really means when someone sees your text and ignores you]

How to stop obsessing over someone who rejected you

No one likes getting rejected, but it’s just a fact of life.

We have all been rejected, and we all live through it. That doesn’t mean we like it, but at some point, we all need to face reality and move on with our lives. So, here is now to stop obsessing over someone who rejected you.

17. Nothing is wrong with you

Hey, there’s nothing wrong with you. You just happen to not be that person’s cup of tea for some reason. So, don’t take the rejection personally.

You have plenty of other people in your life who won’t reject you. So, focus on them, not the person who rejected you. [Read: How to handle rejection without making a complete fool of yourself]

18. Believe them

Don’t say things to yourself like, “Oh, they didn’t really mean that!” or “I’m sure they will change their mind later.”

When someone rejects you, they usually do it nicely by saying something like, “This is not a good time in my life for a relationship.” They mean it. Don’t sit around hoping they will come back around to you.

19. Think about their shortcomings

No one is perfect, so this person that you are obsessing over must have some bad qualities.

So, instead of thinking about all the things you love about them, focus on what you don’t like. That way, it will be easier to get over them. [Reda: She rejected you but still acts interested? Here’s how to read her mind]

How to stop obsessing over someone you can’t have

It’s difficult to accept reality sometimes. We want it to be different, but somehow that just doesn’t happen. So, here’s how to stop obsessing over someone you can’t have.

20. What is, is

There are some things in life that you just can’t change – like death and taxes. They just “are.” So you have to accept the fact that what is… is.

It’s an unchangeable reality. You could fight against it, but it will never change. So, the sooner you accept what is, the sooner you can move on.

21. Viewpoint

Everything in life is better when you have a positive viewpoint. If you can’t have this person that you are obsessed over, then this just means you can go and find someone else who is more of a perfect fit for you. [Read: Unreciprocated love – 25 ways to move on when love isn’t reciprocated]

22. Don’t overanalyze everything

It’s easy to go over every little detail in your mind and try to figure out how you could have done something differently – or what’s wrong with you.

Don’t obsess over the details. The past is the past. You can’t change it. Accept the truth, and realize that everything works out for the best in the end.

[Read: 42 most important rules to forget someone you love and care for as fast as possible]

Getting over someone isn’t easy. You created an idea of them in your head that you’re going to have to get over. It’ll take time, but it’s worth learning how to stop obsessing over someone if you want to move on and have a happier life.