How to Start Sexting a Guy: A Girl’s Guide to Get the Basics Right

Unless you are super-confident, the first time you try sexting, you’ll probably feel embarrassed. Never fear, let’s talk about how to start sexting a guy!

Communication has certainly evolved over the years. A few decades ago it was considered ‘not the done thing’ to talk about feelings, but nowadays we’re encouraged to talk about our emotions. The same can be said for anything to do with sex. Sex isn’t taboo anymore, nor is sexting or hooking up or whenever else that’s getting naughty attention these days. So if you’re not sure how to start sexting a guy, here’s what you need to know.

Back in the early 1900s and even as far as the 1970s, talking about sex openly was something that only ‘certain types of people’ did. That basically meant that you were a little bit easy. [Read: 18 things you do that makes guys think you’re an easy lay]

Thankfully that old fashioned view has disappeared and we’re now free to talk about our wants, our desires, and what turns us on with our partners, without feeling ashamed that we’re breaking some unwritten social rule. The problem however is that not all of us are as open minded or brave to initiate the whole thing.

Do you still say ‘sex’ under your breath or in a quieter voice in the middle of a sentence? You know the way it goes. To be honest, I still do it occasionally, and whilst I worry I am turning into my mother prematurely, it’s something I’ve noticed a lot of people doing. Why? Because we’re shy to talk about it still, even after all these years!

Then along came sexting.

Yes, a little like phone sex but without having to actually say the words aloud, sexting is the shy girl or guy’s way to indulge in a little sexual fun, and it’s a great way to connect with your partner when you’re not together. [Read: How to have phone sex like a sexy sassy minx]

Sexting? What is this you speak of?

If you have no idea what sexting is or how to start sexting a guy, where have you been?! Sexting, as the name would suggest, is basically a series of sexual texts to someone you are either in a relationship with or flirting with. Sexting doesn’t have to lead to actual sex when you finally meet up, but the chances are that it will.

The problem comes in learning how to start sexting a guy in the first place, because it’s not simply something you can drop into the conversation without warning! Many girls tend to leave it to the guy to start the whole thing off, but sometimes the guy is worried that the girl will be offended. There’s nothing to be shy, embarrassed or offended by about sexting, provided it is with someone you trust and actually want to share such messages with! [Read: How to initiate sexting and make your partner hot and horny for you]

It’s certainly not the best idea to be randomly sexting people!

Phone sex, video call sex, Skype sex, these are all variations of what sexting is these days. The fact that most of us have cell phones which ping messages back and forth within seconds means that sexting is quick, easy, and there are no, erm, inconvenient pauses in proceedings!

The plus point is that you can think about what you’re going to say and you’re not on the spot with actually have to speak words. The problem is that if you take too long to reply, the moment is basically very much lost! [Read: 15 flirty sexting messages and examples to warm up to something dirty soon]

Sexting can be mild, moderate or quite racy, it depends on what you’re comfortable with. If the whole thing makes you cringe and you just can’t do it, forget it, it doesn’t matter! Stick with what you’re comfortable with, sexting doesn’t have to be a part of your relationship in that case. You should never do something that you’re not comfortable with sexually or otherwise.

Banish the embarrassment, embrace the fun!

The one thing holding most women back when it comes to learning how to start sexting a guy is embarrassment. Perhaps not knowing the right words to say, the risk of sounding weird, or that he’s going to laugh.

You want to know the truth? He’s not going to laugh. He’s going to be so over the moon that you’re talking in a suggestive or even dirty way that he’s simply thrilled about the whole thing. To be honest, he’s got his hand down his pants, he’s not laughing, that’s for sure. [Read: 12 super steamy sexting tips to turn any guy on instantly]

The single best way to begin is to embrace the whole thing as a lot of fun. He’s going to be saying things to you, you’re replying, he’ll say something else and you might giggle a little, but it will make you smile, and that’s the whole point! If you end up getting off on it, well, that’s a very pleasant side effect indeed!

How to start sexting a guy you like

So how do you actually begin? It’s likely that he has made some kind of suggestive remark in a text message that has got you thinking about sexting. If he hasn’t, it’s totally fine for you to make the first move, if this is something you’d like to encourage in your relationship, or try for the first time. [Read: 16 tips you shouldn’t ignore if you want to be a good sexter]

#1 Start slowly and feel the waters. When you first start sexting your guy, take it slowly and proceed from there. If he has sent you a text message that is a little suggestive, reply with a winking face emoji and a suggestive comment, e.g. ‘I wish you were here now, we’d have so much fun’ insert winking face. No guy will take that any other way than suggestive, believe me. You don’t have to jump straight in with hardcore sexual descriptions – there’s nothing fun about that!

There are no right or wrong words to use, and there are no right or wrong things to say either. It’s what feels good to you both.

If he hasn’t mentioned sexting yet, but you’d like to try, again, start slowly and send him a message that it is a little on the suggestive side, and see if he takes the hint. If he doesn’t take the hint *let’s face it, sometimes with guys the direct approach is the only way*, then suggest it yourself – ‘hey, shall we have a little fun and try sexting one night?’ He might laugh nervously, but I bet your bottom dollar he won’t say no! [Read: How to sext a guy – Your full guide to safe and sexy texting]

#2 Have fun with it. Sexting is not meant to be ultra-serious, and you are not supposed to be some text-based porn star either! Keep it fun, because if it’s not fun, it’s not worth doing. Sexting isn’t always about the actual act of sex, it’s also about having a laugh, staying connected when you’re not together, and deepening your bond.

The more you do it, the more confident you’ll feel and you’ll come up with more things to say off the bat. At first you’ll probably have to think about it and dither over whether to send it or not, but just go for it! [Read: How to turn your boyfriend on while texting him – 21 powerful tips]

#3 Thank about what you’d like to hear. What would you like your partner to say to you? That’s the best way to come up with something to say to them. You know your partner better than anyone else, but if it’s someone you’ve not known for that long and you’re still getting to know their limitations, what they appreciate and what they don’t, thinking about the things you’d like to hear is the best way to avoid awkward silences!

#4 Be as descriptive as possible. Sexting is basically dirty talk via a text message. That’s really what it boils down to. Dirty talk is about descriptive words, and telling someone what you want to do to them, what you want them to do to you, how it makes you feel, etc. Just use words that evoke a response in that way, e.g, it automatically paints a picture in their mind. [Read: 25 creative and dirty sexting examples to send a guy]

#5 If it really does make you feel uncomfortable, just stop. Finally, if it truly does feel awkward, cringey, and downright uncomfortable, just stop. In this case, sexting does not need to be a part of your relationship. Perhaps the more in-person route is for you instead!

[Read: How to sext your boyfriend – A guide to leave him yearning for more]

Learning how to start sexting a guy is not difficult. A mere suggestion is all you need and you can build from there. Whilst it’s certainly going to feel a little awkward or even odd at first, just stick with it, provided you’re comfortable. The more confident you become, the more fun your sexting sessions will be!