How to Spot the Signs of Low Self-Esteem in a Girl & Support Her

It’s normal to be insecure occasionally. But you notice your partner is insecure about everything. If so, learn the signs of low self-esteem in a girl.

When a girl has low self-esteem, it prevents her from enjoying life. Low self-esteem can play a huge role in one’s mental and physical health and can come to the point where she may try to hurt herself. Now, this doesn’t mean it’s always going to head for the worst. But it’s important that you know what the signs of low self-esteem in a girl are and prepare yourself to be a great partner in your relationship. [Read: The 10 important traits that make you a good, supportive boyfriend]

The most obvious signs of low self-esteem in a girl

Whether male or female, the world isn’t easy for anyone. There’s a lot of judgment on what’s right and what’s wrong, and it certainly doesn’t work in our favor. To some degree, everyone has low self-esteem.

Some people have low self-esteem on specific things. Whereas others struggle with almost everything that comes along their path. When we’re single, we sometimes ignore our low self-esteem issues or simply don’t see them because we’re in our comfort zone. But when we’re in a relationship, our insecurities are magnified.

When you’re insecure, your partner can help you greatly to work through those self-esteem issues. But at the same time, low self-esteem can sabotage your relationship. Change the tide and help her see her worth.

#1 She’s guarded. Even if you’ve dated her for some time, she’s still not fully opening up to you. She may have witnessed a nasty divorce between her parents and she’s not able to fully trust her partner, regardless of what you do. If you feel that she’s constantly on guard, that’s because she has low self-esteem and is afraid to be abandoned. [Read: What insecure people can’t hide when they feel insecure] 

#2 She’s always testing you. In the beginning, when you’re dating, it’s normal for people to test each other in specific situations. But when you’re in a relationship you shouldn’t have to test your partner.

In her mind, she’s thinking does he really love me? How could he be with someone like me? These thoughts push her in a specific direction where she’s testing you in order for you to show your value. [Read: 11 biggest tests girls put you through in a relationship]

#3 She’s always apologizing. Apologizing isn’t really one of the big signs of low self-esteem in a girl. But it depends on the reasons why. Even if it’s not her fault, do you hear her apologize for someone else’s behavior? Why? Well, if she’s constantly apologizing for things that don’t even need an apology, this is because she has low self-esteem. She’s feeling guilty for things that are out of her control. If she had it her way, she would make a business out of apologizing.

#4 She does things she doesn’t like. Naturally, when we’re in a relationship, there are things that we do because our partner would like to do it. Do we like it? No, but we do it because of them and that’s okay. But she will do things that she really doesn’t want to do because she’s too scared to say no. For her, it’s easier to do something she despises than to reject the offer. That’s because she doesn’t want to hurt that person’s feelings. [Read: 20 signs she’s a people pleaser even if she doesn’t realize it]

#5 She doesn’t take compliments well. You can give her the best compliments that are out there but she just blushes and rejects them. Someone who loves themselves will take the compliment and thank you for it. But she doesn’t believe what you’re saying. For her, she can’t see the compliment as a truth. This is solely because she doesn’t believe in herself.

#6 She hides herself during sex. She refuses to have the lights on or to be on top during sex. These may not seem like a big deal but this underlines a major self-esteem issue. She’s not comfortable or confident enough during sex. In fact, she’s concerned about her appearance rather than enjoying the moment.

#7 She’s indecisive. Whether it’s picking a restaurant or a beach to go to, she can never make a decision. In the end, you end up choosing because she can’t. This is because people with low self-esteem are unable to make decisions and they constantly change their minds. They’re concerned about you not liking their choice rather than making a choice. [Read: The best ways to deal with an indecisive partner]

#8 She talks about luck. Whether luck exists or not, she would never assume that something happened to her because she worked hard or deserved it. Instead, she’ll tell you that she’s lucky. But in reality, she really worked hard and used her intelligence and talent to get to where she is. This is one of the biggest signs of low self-esteem in a girl because it shows she doesn’t believe in herself.

#9 She’s happy when buying new things. Surprisingly, many studies have shown that there is a correlation between materialism and low self-esteem. People with low self-esteem turn to short-term pleasure, thinking that it’ll make them feel better, however, that’s not the case. Though they think that buying new things will give them worth, they’re wrong. [Read: 13 happy things everyone needs for a really happy life]

#10 She avoids conflict. When someone doesn’t like something, they voice their opinion. But if your partner has low self-esteem, she’ll stay far away from conflict. In fact, she’ll probably just agree with you just to keep the peace. Now, does she actually agree with you? No. But she’s scared of telling you how she really feels because she doesn’t want to handle the consequences.

#11 They stay in their comfort zone. They may be overqualified for their promotion at work but instead, they decide not to take it. Why wouldn’t she take a promotion at work? That’s because she has low self-esteem, and she’s scared of failing. Women that don’t believe in themselves don’t push themselves forward.

#12 She’s critical of others. When it comes to other people, she’s highly critical of others. This is where men and women differ. Men who have low self-esteem will try to control the people around them. But women who have low self-esteem will be overly critical and put other people down in order to make themselves feel better. [Read: How to help your girlfriend feel secure again]

#13 They’re obsessed with your success. Because they’re insecure, they’re not going to push themselves forward. But they will focus on making sure you push yourself forward. Now, this support isn’t bad, but they do this because they’re scared of their own success. They would go one million miles for you, but they never do anything for themselves.

[Read: 10 steps to helping your partner drop their unhealthy habits]

Do you see these signs of low self-esteem in a girl manifest in your partner? If so, it’s not the end of the world but you both need to work on building her self-esteem up.