How to Play a Guy at His Own Game & 40 Ways to Beat a Player in Style

If a guy is up to his old tricks, go one better and beat a player! Learning how to play a guy will give you the upper hand and teach him a lesson.

Women are well-known for playing mind games with men. Really, we’re experts. But, so many of us fall easily into the games men play with women. It is likely because we assume that we’re the game players, leaving us open for manipulation. To turn the tables, it’s time to learn how to play a guy at his own game.

The fact is both men and women are experts at playing mind games with each other. Of course, many of us are open and honest people, but there are always those who fall between the cracks. Those are the ones to watch out for.

But most of us are also victims of these games. Take it as a life lesson or simply learn how to beat a player and go one better!

We are all victims of games as well as game masters. This is part of modern-day dating. As sucky as it can be, it seems to be the way of the world. So, instead of fighting that, we might as well learn how to do it right.

[Read: Do guys play hard to get? The truth, 21 reasons and what you should do]

Why do players do what they do?

There are several reasons behind why players go through all these games and never commit to one person.

Maybe they had a rough childhood, maybe they have severe commitment issues, maybe they grew up believing that love just can’t last a lifetime. Or maybe some girl cheated on them in their formative years, and they decided it’s time to take revenge and use any and all women that enter their life. Or perhaps, someone told them the only way to win over a woman is by playing a woman because all gentlemen are SIMPs.

While these reasons will never excuse a player’s behaviors, it gives you a concrete reason to believe they’ll never change.

Players enjoy the thrill of the game more than anything else. When a player tosses your heart around and uses you, it can be easy to feel heartbroken by this. Learning how to play a guy will help you get the upper hand.

You must realize their actions are more a reflection of themselves than you. It’s not that you’re not good enough, but it’s just in their nature.

This is also why it’s important to know how to play a player – so they can get a taste of their own medicine and stop using hearts as toys. [Read: What is a SIMP? Meet Gen Z’s version of the nice guy]

Why do people fall for players?

The most popular reason why we fall for players is that we fall for their potential. Maybe they appear to have everything you want and need in a relationship, except for that one significant flaw – they can’t be loyal to you. We fall for players because of how easy it is to believe in their words and actions.

The worst part is, we trust and believe in everything they say until we realize a little too late that we’ve been screwed with. We tend to think that if we just love them hard enough, we can change them into someone capable of commitment.

However, that rarely happens. If you learn how to play a guy, then maybe they’d know how it feels to be on the receiving end of things. Knowing how to beat a player gives you a sense of confidence. [Read: Does playing coy actually work? How to use it and be effective AF]

What is his game?

If you are a victim of a guy playing a game, before beating him as his own, you need to know what he is doing. What is his game? Is he trying to get you in bed only to dump you? Is he trying to have his cake and eat it too?

You need to unwind the web he wove. Figure out what his intent is in order to loop it around on him. Don’t just learn how to play a guy, beat him at his game. [Read: The tricky mind games men play that any girl can win]

Figure out what his game is. This can be difficult to do without a mind reader on your side, but it isn’t impossible. Talk to your friends, especially your guy friends. They care about you and look out for you. They will be honest about their interpretation of this guy’s behavior.

Just asking him his plan could get you an answer, but probably not an honest one. Figuring it out behind his back is a great defense and it pays to know how to beat a player.

Give him a taste of his own medicine, and why not even a little more? He deserves it for playing with your heart. [Read: Playing games in a relationship – When it’s okay and when it harms you]

How to play a guy at his own game and beat the player effortlessly

Stop letting a guy play you, but that’s easier said than done. When you have feelings for him, it is even harder. But you are better than this.

The best thing to do is to remove yourself from the situation before it gets worse. Kick him to the curb. Knowing how to play a guy helps you to avoid that all-too-common broken heart.

But, we know before you go, you’ll want to give him a taste of his own medicine. Now, we advise you not to do this, but we also know you’re human, and you probably will. If you plan to play a guy at his own game, you may as well do it the right way. Learn how to beat a player in a way that will actually yield results.

Here we go. It’s time you learned what to do and how to play a guy at his own game. The tables are about to turn on him as you become a master at learning how to beat a player. [Read: Avoid these 13 types of men if you’re looking for true love]

1. Slightly acknowledge him

He’s used to you liking all his photos, commenting on them, texting him multiple times a day. In other words, he’s used to you chasing him.

Now, you turn the tables. Pull back, way back. Instead of showering him with attention, slightly acknowledge his existence. Say hi, be friendly, but that’s about it. [Read: Understanding why a guy comes back when you ignore them]

2. Stop giving him attention

Most men will play women for attention for a quick ego boost. But that’s what you must cut. Stop giving him the attention he wants. The only way to get his attention is by ignoring him politely.

Brush him off, make him work harder for your time; you’re not an easy catch. Leave him wondering why his moves aren’t working anymore, and you will play this guy at his own game.

3. Flirt with other guys

Ah, yes, this one is a classic. But don’t make the mistake of making it obvious you want his attention, or else it won’t work.

Don’t look at him while you’re flirting with other guys. Show him that he’s out of the picture. This guy doesn’t like losing a race. [Read: 30 wicked ways to make a guy jealous and win his attention back]

4. Don’t fall for his charm

This guy lives on his charm; it’s one of the only qualities he has that works. So, he’s going to do his best to charm his way into your pants.

Instead, show him that you’re not falling for his charm. It’s an old act. He must come up with a different strategy if he wants to make you fall for him.

Once he becomes obsessed, the ball is in your court. And you’ve beaten this guy at playing his own game. You’ve effectively learned how to beat a player.

5. Have a good time *without him*

While you’re busy trying to win him over, make sure you spend time enjoying yourself with friends and family. It’s easy to get sucked into this game, and that’s not what you want to do.

Go out with friends, meet other people, and if he’s there, remember to have a good time and not get distracted by senseless drama. [Read: 20 moves to get a guy to chase you and fall real hard]

6. Don’t sleep with him

If you want to play a guy at his own game, show him that you’re not some easy chick. If you’ve already slept with him, pull back, and if you haven’t slept with him–great! It’ll be that much easier not to. Plus, if he’s playing you, then he doesn’t deserve you.

7. Keep the mystery alive

Everyone loves a little mystery. If you want him to fall for you, be a little mysterious. He shouldn’t know everything about you. The fact he doesn’t know much about you is why he’s still interested.

Avoid talking about exes, passions, fears, and dreams. Give him just enough to keep him coming back for more. [Read: How to be mysterious and leave every guy smitten and craving for more]

8. Don’t text him

You cannot give into texting him. These types of guys like women chasing after them. If you want him to chase you, stop texting him first. If he texts you, yes, answer, but not too fast.

Let him sit and wait for your text. You’re busy. You have a life. This is a key point when learning how to play a guy.

9. Get ready to invest time into this

This isn’t going to work overnight. It will take some time and energy on your part. Ask yourself if this is something you actually want to do. I know it sounds empowering, but it’s a lot of investment.

Is this guy really worth all this hassle? Or are you just in this for the drama? Is trying to play a guy at his own game worth your energy? [Read: 20 wily signs of a player to recognize one instantly]

10. Don’t fall for his traps

When he sees himself falling for you, he’s going to pull out all of his traps in hopes of holding onto the control. Your job is to stay firm in your stance, not falling for any of his tricks and games. It’ll drive him crazy and you’ll know that you’ve beat a player hands-down.

11. Know when to pull away

The whole point of this is to pull away just before he gets bored, and he will get bored. Invest just enough time for him to catch the bait.

No one said baiting a player would be easy. Playing a guy at his own game is all about timing. That’s why cutting a player off right from the beginning is always the easiest solution. [Read: How to stop selfish people from hurting you]

12. Keep seeing other people

While you play him, make sure you don’t fall into your trap. It’s funny how easily our brains trick us into falling for someone while we try to make them fall for us. So, make sure you’re seeing other people, going out, and having fun.

13. You won’t change him

Part of playing a guy at his own game seems to be that you think you will beat him by getting him to commit. You need to realize this isn’t true. Beating him at a game is like getting revenge or maybe justice. You are putting him in his place. He will be punished, but you really won’t get anything out of it.

You won’t get a dream boyfriend. And he probably won’t feel bad enough to actually change his behavior, at least not for a while. You are amazing, but he isn’t. He won’t change for you. This isn’t a rom-com. [Read: He’s not ready for a relationship right now – Should I wait or walk?]

14. Share your opinions

Players don’t always want easy targets. If they see a girl who is agreeable, they won’t be intrigued. They want the challenge. They are competitive. If you’re going to keep his attention for whatever your end game is, be sure to share your voice.

Be vocal about your opinions on politics, healthcare, and really anything. It will really get on his nerves if you share your take on sports. He will feel belittled that you know more than he expected you to. But it will also turn him on.

15. Go out in public

Never hang out with him in private. If he wants to see you, make him go out in public. Whether you head to a party, the mall, or dinner, don’t give in when he says he’s tired and wants to stay in. This only lets him win.

By pushing his buttons and making him do what he doesn’t want to, you are charming him out of his game and right into yours. [Read: Why women want to meet in public and why men should learn to respect this]

16. Spread the word

Spread the word about his game-playing ways. If every girl at your school or job knows what he is like, they won’t be as likely to fall for his lines. This will force him to forfeit his game. When there is no one to play, he loses.

17. Know you deserve better

This is deep, but listen up. There is no better justice than knowing you deserve better. Sure, embarrassing him is great and all, but living your life to the fullest without wasting one more tiny thought on him is the best. Empower yourself and other women.

When women know they deserve an honest guy, they won’t be easily charmed by a player like this, and they will all lose. [Read: How to take back your power from the guy who used you]

18. Always answer their question with a question

When you get upset with them and suspect that you are being messed with, you ask them questions to catch them.

The moment they ask you a question, don’t answer in your usual sweet and loving way. Instead, answer each question with a question back at them. See how they like it.

After all, that’s normally how it goes when you ask them, right? Then it’s only time they experience the receiving end of this.

19. Tell them you’re on your way and don’t show up

If you want to let them know how it feels, text them and tell them that you can’t wait to see them, and you are on your way over. The way to know how to play a guy by his own game is by getting them excited to see you and then never showing up.

Send a picture of yourself all dressed up in a flattering dress, only to have them wait for hours with you never showing up. If you really want to make them suffer, make it last longer with one excuse after another followed but, “now I am on my way.”

20. Go for their best friend

What are players best at? They are masters at destroying everything and everyone in their wake. Why? Because they can. Nothing will hit them harder than to go after their best friend.

It’ll hurt his ego and he’ll never see it coming when he loses you for one of his best bros. [Read: Is he a player or a gentleman? 13 clear giveaways]

21. Find out who they’re dating and make besties with them

If you find out that you have been a victim of a player, then the best way to shut them down is to take them out. If you want to know how to play a player, the best way to do that is by being besties with his new girl. There’s no better revenge than for him to see you being close as ever with his new date.

Find out who he has been messing around with, invite them all over for a night of drinks, and then lure him over to see that you are not going to be his pawns anymore!

22. Draw them close then shut them out

A player is best at what? Toying with your emotions. If you want to give them a taste of their own medicine, then you have to pretend to be their everything. Give them all your affection and love, only to keep them at a distance the next minute.

This is what players are masters at, so in learning how to play a guy, beat them at their own game. Not in the “I think we should be friends” way. Shut them down completely the way they do their victims and just stop answering forever. [Read: Tricky mind games that guys play that any girl can win]

23. Be elusive

Players can put you off, make you think you are being obsessive and crazy, and that it is all your fault even if you haven’t done anything but try to call them over the phone. Being elusive means you can’t be labeled, pinned down, or even held accountable for anything you do.

Even when he gaslights you, the best way to know how to play a player is to remain unaffected by this. Act like your most indifferent and unbothered self – and that’s how you beat a player.

24. Blow them off

A player never usually gets blown off or waits for someone else. Similar to the second point in this list, make them realize how crappy it is to get blown off for your other plans. In other words, make them feel like they don’t matter.

If you want to let a player know how it feels to be played, then make plans – no, make like major important plans – and then suddenly just disappear without a trace. [Read: How to play hard to get with a guy – 20 secrets to leave him smitten]

25. Send a text and when they answer, say, “Oops that was for someone else.”

If you want to let them know how it feels to be cheated on and disregarded, send them a text out of the blue. Make them completely doubt your intentions and their trust for you, just like they’ve done with you all this time.

Make it seem like you sent the wrong text message that was meant for someone else, and they’re guaranteed to go crazy over that text.

26. Leave them hanging

Players are experts at making all sorts of plans, but since they are making plans with several people all over the place, they can’t keep their story straight.

Make them believe spending time with them is the least of your priorities. Get them to anticipate your presence and don’t deliver.

Make sure that they tell everyone you are supposed to come over, just so you flake on them and show them how it feels to be abandoned – and to feel like a loser like they have done to you. [Read: How to understand a man and his mind]

27. Remain shallow

The best way to know how to play a player is to sound like you are smitten. Make them believe you have nothing but unconditional love for them and that they mean the world to you.

However, don’t match your actions with your words. Don’t fall for them, but simply make them feel like you mean it.

The key is to have no feelings whatsoever and have your whole goal be to let them know how it feels to be used and abused.

28. Show no emotions or interest

Players are all about themselves. In fact, to them, if they didn’t exist the world wouldn’t turn – and humanity wouldn’t exist. The number one rule to keep in mind in knowing how to play a player is to never fall in love. Don’t be attached to them and simply enjoy the thrill of the game.

After all, that’s what they would’ve done. Keep the conversation so superficial that nothing of any value is discussed, no emotions are shared, and no feelings are flowing from you. [Read: 25 signs of covert narcissism – a special kind of mind game]

29. Date other guys

This is exactly what a player would’ve done, so this is how you need to beat a player at his own game. You need to be willing to date other guys and show them that your world doesn’t revolve around them.

Give this guy that element of fear that he’s really the least of your worries and you couldn’t care less about his existence in your life.

30. Pull him around for your needs

If there’s another thing players are particularly good at, it’s using people. If you want to know how to play a guy, pull him around for everything you need.

Use his love and affection for you to get everything you want without being appreciative of a single one of his efforts. Take advantage of him and make him feel like you’re taking him for granted. [Read: 33 sexy ways to seduce a guy who’s not yet yours and hook him really deep]

31. Manipulate him

This sounds a little harsh and it’s not something we would normally advocate, but players are absolute masters at manipulation.

Whether it’s playing the sad guy, gaslighting you, or victim-blaming, they’ll do everything in their power to get what they want. If you want to beat players at their own game, manipulate him.

Every time he asks if you have someone else, tell him that he’s just being paranoid and dramatic. When he opens up about your actions, tell him it’s all in his mind. After all, these are all actions of an expert in playing people’s hearts. [Read: How to manipulate men – The art of getting a guy to do what you want]

32. Generally play hardball

If he’s really playing you at your own expense, you wouldn’t want to make it easy for him, right? Right. Nothing challenges a player more than the idea of a conquest.

If you want to get his attention and have him chasing after you, start off by being indifferent. Or better yet, completely ignore him and beat a player.

If he comes near you, play it cool and put him down. If he tries to get your attention, look away, stare into your drink like it’s the most interesting thing in the room, or disappear into the girls’ room.

Pretending you don’t notice him or are not the least bit interested challenges his confidence, and he may just want to prove you wrong. [Read: How to talk to a guy – 34 secrets to smooth talk men and leave anyone smitten]

33. Acknowledge him but don’t be too eager

Players are used to women fawning over them. If you keep bumping into each other in the same clubs and he keeps going after you, then you know you’ve got him right where you need him.

Start acknowledging him just enough to make him curious and tease his appetite for your attention. Let him get to know you a little to get him more interested.

Repeat his name over and over like a hypnotic mantra and touch his arm when he’s telling a joke you know he’s used on almost all the other girls in the room. But before the night ends, walk away. [Read: 20 ways to show a guy you like him and still be a tease]

34. Show him you’re having a great time

Whether you’re doing great at work, having fun working out with your girlfriends, or enjoying your alone time shopping, show him you’re living it up even if you’re single.

Nothing makes any guy admire a girl more than seeing her confident and happy in her own skin. This also shows the player that you have so many good things going in your life that you have plenty of better things to do than be with him. In fact, you don’t need him in your life at all.

35. Bask in the attention of other guys and make sure he sees it

Looking great, feeling great, exuding confidence, and getting the attention of other men further conveys that you are just fine on your own.

Go out with other guys, and if another guy approaches you in a bar, smile and laugh and giggle. Seeing some competition will amp up his interest even more because he will see this as another challenge that he’d love to overcome. [Read: How to make a guy jealous and get his attention]

36. Master the art of flirting

The ball has started rolling, and, of course, you need to come prepared. You wouldn’t go to the battlefield unarmed, right? So if you don’t know the least bit about flirting, it’s time to get started.

Try gazing into his eyes from across the room and smile seductively to reel him in. Once he comes to you, have a quick, flirtatious talk with him and maybe even drop some innuendos here and there.

Laugh at his jokes, but don’t flatter him. Make it clear that while you’re flirting with him, you are not going to fall for his good ole womanizing tactics. Keep things light and fun, and he’ll want to be around you even more. [Read: 30 subtle, obvious and very very seductive flirting tips for girls]

37. Maintain an air of mystery

It’s not enough to just be elusive. Be mysterious as well. Aside from the glances and the smiles, don’t volunteer much information about yourself.

If he asks about your day, shrug and smile noncommittally and ask him about his day. Never talk about your ex, your hopes and fears, what you like in a guy, or how you burned your tongue that morning by slurping your coffee too fast.

Make him guess what’s really on your mind by speaking vaguely. Make him find out who you are and what you’re all about, and he’ll desperately want to figure you out like a jigsaw puzzle. [Read: The art of seduction and 25 mysterious ways to ooze sex appeal]

38. Check your jealousy meter

If he’s a really good player, your lack of interest in him will never faze him. He may even try to turn the tables on you by going out with other women and making sure you see him. Well, guess what… this won’t get to you because you won’t be jealous.

In fact, show him you don’t care at all. And you shouldn’t!

This is exactly what he wants, and you will most likely stand out if you don’t play into his mind games. And if he really gets ruthless and starts hitting on your friend, be nice to her and don’t see her as competition.

39. Keep your options open

You know the saying, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea”? Hold onto it, because it’s true. You will always have options—if not now, then later. That’s just the way it is, and if you can’t see other people now, then find diversions such as your work, your friends, or your hobbies.

The important thing is to keep yourself from being too emotionally attached to him so that if he leaves you high and dry, you know you’ll be fine. [Read: How to stop obsessing over a guy you’re interested in]

40. Play him before he plays you

If you really want to play the player, you have to know the game better than he does. And most importantly, you have to be the better player.

The first and most important rule of playing is to NEVER fall in love with the person. Remember that it is just a game, and unless he truly steps up, he isn’t worth your time, your attention, or your love.

So, how do you play a player?

A player might seem invincible and all-powerful until you actually manage to beat them at their own game. You see, deep inside, they’re full of insecurities and more self-doubt than you think. And all you need to do is place your finger on the right spot and watch him writhe!

[Read: 10 signs he’s not playing hard to get–he’s playing you]

No one wants to be played by someone they have feelings for. Before saying goodbye, give a player a taste of his own medicine by learning how to play a guy at his own game.