How to Not Be Nervous for a Date and Feel Super Calm Instead

Going on a first date isn’t easy; there’s a lot of nerves that come with it. But I’m here to help. Here’s my advice for how to not be nervous for a date.

We’re only human; even your date is human. So, it’s natural for us to feel nervous ahead of a first date, but there’s a way to learn how to not be nervous for a date. Reduce those nerves and anxiety to have a better and calmer first-date experience.

It’s time to lose the jitters *at least some of them* and start enjoying your dating experiences. You’re about to learn some helpful ways to reduce your anxiety, so you can actually get to know your date without any distracting thoughts or feelings. Are you ready?

How to not be nervous for a date

Most of us have had or will have a first date experience. And they usually never turn out the way it’s shown in movies. There are only a few people who can walk into a date without feeling any jitters. It’s normal to feel a little anxiety and nervousness when going on a date.

[Read: How to face dating anxiety and fears and get out there again]

You don’t really know this person, and now you need to spend a couple of hours chatting and getting to know each other. It’s not so easy. And we’re all thinking about the worst-case scenarios like complete silence, lack of chemistry, and awkward moments.

Get rid of those jitters.

#1 Ask yourself why. Why are you feeling anxious? It’s important to ask yourself where the anxiety is coming from. Maybe you’ve had negative dating experiences in the past, and this is creating new anxiety in you. Whatever it is, dig deep and try to see where it’s coming from. [Read: Are you sabotaging your happiness unintentionally?] 

#2 You make the plans. If you’re nervous about where you are going on your date, make the plans yourself. This will ensure that you pick a place that feels comfortable to you, which will reduce your anxiety. You always want to make sure you feel comfortable for the date – safety matters. 

#3 Make for a short first-date. Now, not too short. But your date doesn’t need to be four hours long. Either make plans with a friend after or do a lunch date on a working/school day. This way, you know that the date will end at a certain time, and if things go well, you can see each other again. [Read: Casual first date ideas for a dreamy fun time]

#4 Don’t do drinks or dinner dates. If you’re nervous about awkward silences or having the date turn into an interview, don’t do dinner or drinks. Grab a coffee together and go for a walk, watch a sports game, or go to an art gallery. Do things that are activity-based; that way, you have something to talk about.

#5 Practice self-care. On the day of the date, give yourself some TLC. Take a relaxing bath, listen to some music, take a nap, or read a good book. Do things that will have you feeling your best. It’ll help you manage your stress before the date.

#6 Realize your date is probably nervous, too. Uh, hello! Your date is going out with you. Of course, they’re nervous. Have you seen yourself? You’re a beauty! Understand that what you’re feeling; your date is probably feeling as well. Everyone is vulnerable on the first date. [Read: 20 ways to perfect your first date conversation]

#7 Don’t talk about the date with too many people. Mentioning the date to other people will hype it up. And if you’re nervous, this isn’t what you want to do. Talk about it with someone you trust, and that’s it. When you talk about it with too many people, they’ll give you advice, usually contradicting advice, and will confuse you. 

#8 Be mindful of your feelings. During the date, you may feel yourself getting nervous, and that’s okay. Take a deep breath and try to be mindful of how you’re feeling and what you can do at that moment to help yourself calm down. Remember, we’re all human; we’re all flawed.

#9 Think of your date as a friend. All good relationships start with friendship. You need to become friends with your date. And if the chemistry is there, it has the potential to bloom into a romantic relationship. To help with your nerves, think of your date as a friend.

#10 Do a workout that day. You have some pent up energy you need to get out of your system. So if you’re wondering how to not be nervous for a date, get your sweat on with a good workout. It’ll help release any stress you have in your body and bring in those positive endorphins. And that’s what you want.

#11 Have a glass of wine. Now, go easy on the wine. But, if you’re feeling nervous, have a glass of wine and take a breath. Too much alcohol is a big no-no on first dates; however, one glass of wine can help you loosen up and relax. [Read: Follow these rules for a memorable first date]

#12 Take a deep breath. You need to take a deep breath. I know it sounds a little cheesy, but it works. Breathe in through your nose, hold it for a couple of seconds, and then release the breath from your mouth. Do this a couple of times, and you’ll feel yourself calm down.

[Read: Do you having dating anxiety? How to calm your first date panic mode]

Now you know how to not be nervous for a date, so what are you still doing here? It’s time for you to get ready and go out on that date!