How to Make Out with Someone for the First Time and Do It Well

Planning on having your first ever make out sesh? I’ll bet you’re nervous, but you don’t have to be. Learn how to make out with someone for the first time.

Whether you’ve kissed someone before or not, making out is a little bit different. It has a few more facets and takes a bit more teamwork, but it’s a lot more enjoyable. And you can learn how to make out with someone for the first time and really enjoy it.

I know you have nerves about it. That is totally natural and normal.

Making out is a vulnerable thing. Not only are you connecting with someone on a more physical level than before, but you are also worried about doing something wrong, wondering what to do with your hands, and concerned with how they think it’s going.

But, I’m not here to stress you out even more. Making out should be a fun experience. There is nothing like your first make out. It should be exciting. You should have butterflies, but not sweaty anxious nerves.

No matter how old or young you are, there is no perfect time for your first make out. There is no perfect age. The right time is different for us all. So, whether you’re going to your first boy/girl party or have your first date coming up, hopefully, these tips on how to make out with someone for the first time will calm your nerves and give you confidence.

[Read: How to know if you’re a good kisser and become a really good one]

Relax about making out for the first time

Before I get into tips and techniques for having your first make out session with zero experience, I need you to relax. I know telling someone to relax is the worst way to help them relax, but it will help.

I know I said your first makeout should be fun and exciting, but it is okay if it’s not. This one makeout won’t define your kissing skills forever. Whether you have bad breath, they use too much tongue, or if it’s just awkward, that is okay.

It is your first time making out with someone, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself. No matter how many rom-coms you’ve seen, how many times you’ve practiced kissing on your arm, or looked for advice online, your first time is just that.

[Read: How to be a good kisser even if you’re a newbie and haven’t kissed much]

It will probably teach you a lot. It will surely take the pressure off every future makeout. And it will be something you remember for a number of reasons.

As an example, my first makeout was when I was 16, nearly 17. Some could call me a late bloomer, but hey, it worked out fine.

I had my first makeout with the same guy I had my first kiss with. I was hardcore crushing on him so when we went from a simple kiss to making out I was beyond nervous and also super happy, so I was smiling the whole time. Literally while kissing I couldn’t stop smiling. [Read: 15 secrets to make your first kiss way more memorable]

I didn’t even realize it until a few months later when he told me I was smiling the whole time. I think that’s a sweet story now. At the time, I was so nervous I wasn’t even paying attention to what I was doing. I was so preoccupied with what was going on around me.

And I know he was more experienced than me, so I was nervous. I didn’t know what to do with my hands. And I’m sure I was sweating. But, I look back at that time and am not mortified or embarrassed, rather I think it was sweet.

I shared this story with you so you would know that no matter how your first makeout goes, you will definitely look back on it with joy and fondness rather than embarrassment.

[Read: Simple peck or steamy makeout? What you can learn from the first kiss]

How to make out with someone for the first time

Before getting into the details of understanding how to make out with someone for the first time, there are some things you can prepare for and others you can’t.

First off, whether the person you’ll be kissing has more experience than you or not doesn’t matter. Whether they know how much experience you’ve had also doesn’t matter.

Kissing isn’t about practice. The more you do it, the less nervous you may be, but kissing is personal. There is no perfect kiss. What one person may enjoy another may not. [Read: How to initiate a kiss that’ll make them remember you forever]

Kissing is more about your connection with the other person. You have to feel them out. You both being comfortable and enjoying yourselves is more important than what you do with your lips or tongue or hands.

Your kissing style changes with each person you kiss, so the technical tips, although helpful, are very specific to the individual. So, try not to overthink your methods. Instead, feel out the moment. I promise you that that will lead to a much better first make out than putting your tongue here or there.

So, now that you’ve got some of the bigger picture things out of the way, here is some advice for how to make out with someone for the first time. [Read: Kissing chemistry 101 – How to kiss someone for the first time]

#1 Keep up with your mouth and lip hygiene. If you know your first makeout is coming next weekend or if it is up in the air, still take care to keep your mouth as fresh as possible.

Brush and floss twice daily. Keep up with your lip balm application. Dry and crusty lips are not sexy no matter who you’re kissing. And in case that kiss sneaks up on you, keep mints handy.

#2 Focus on comfort. Don’t overthink your sex appeal or skill level. The most important thing about any makeout is that you’re both comfortable. You’ll both walk away feeling good about it if you both felt comfortable.

Trying too hard to be something you’re not or worrying too much about the next base will send you flying off your game. Just enjoy the moment, and let your instincts take over. [Read: The four relationship bases and nine metaphors you should understand]

#3 Don’t be aggressive. This advice is for guys and girls alike. Being too intense right off the bat is not just intimidating, but it can ruin the moment. A first make out isn’t about being intense but sweet.

Don’t go all in at once. You don’t need to be biting their lip or sticking your tongue deep in their mouth. Take it slow. The build-up is half the excitement. Go from lightly kissing to opening your mouth with just the tip of your tongue. Any more than that too soon is too much. 

#4 Read the other person. To understand how to make out with someone for the first time, you need to remember this most of all. You first makeout with someone is not all about you, it is about both of you. So even if you told all your friends you’d be making out for the first time, don’t do it to please them.

Read the person you’re kissing. Body language will clue you into the vibe. If they don’t want a kiss to become a makeout, you’ll be able to tell. If they are very stiff, pulling away, or hesitant, back away and ask them if it’s okay. You never want to kiss someone that doesn’t want to be kissed. [Read: Are they ready to kiss? 15 subtle signs to predict the magic moment]

#5 Making out has levels. Making out can be anything from a short sweet kiss after a first date to an in-bed rolling around makeout. Don’t let any of your expectations get in the way. Maybe your favorite TV character made out with their boo in bed without a shirt on, that doesn’t mean it is the right thing for you.

Your first makeout may not be that intense. Take things slow and feel them out. Do what is right for you and your kissing mate in that moment. There is no need to rush because of what your friends have done, what your TV crush as done, or what your actual crush has done.

#6 Take it step by step. You don’t normally just go up to someone and kiss them and have it followed up with a magical makeout. Take it slow. Maybe you brush their hair out of their face or they put their arm around you. You make eye contact then close your eyes and slowly lean in for that first kiss.

Then, pull away, look at each other again to feel things out and ensure you’re on the same page, then you can kiss with more pressure, open mouths, and even wrap your arms around them or touch their neck. Making out is not all or nothing. [Read: How to makeout and all the little ways to make it oh-so-sexy]

#7 Keep it private. Not everyone is okay with PDA. Maybe holding hands is okay in public, but making out in front of a crowd, your school, or *yikes* your family is not so cute. It adds more nerves and pressure and just isn’t all that romantic.

Not only is this your first time making out but it is your first time making out with this particular person. So be respectful of their wishes as they should be of yours. [Read: How to be classy: 20 traits that demand awe and respect]

#8 Ask. Consent is vital when it comes to kissing. If you can’t tell that they want to kiss you or that the situation is appropriate, ask them. I know it can seem like it breaks the mood, but asking and getting a yes is way better than not asking and getting a no.

[Read: How being sex positive matters and why you should get on board]

Learning how to make out with someone for the first time does not have to be as nerve-racking as you might have expected, it can actually be fun. Just follow these steps, take it easy and have fun!