How to Make Guy Friends: 16 Hard Reasons & Ways to Avoid Hooking Up

If you are wondering how to make guy friends, well, it can be tricky. Here some of the challenges you might face and how you can overcome them.

The truth of the matter is that guys and girls can definitely be friends without venturing into romantic territory. Those who believe otherwise just don’t know how to make guy friends who only want to be platonic. Although it’s not all that hard, many women just don’t know the steps to get there.

Because let’s be real: guys who are approached by a woman typically think she’s interested in dating them or hooking up. And while some of them may be, there are girls out there who just think a guy is cool as a friend. They don’t have any physical or emotional attraction that’s romantic at all.

[Read: Platonic friends – How to just stay platonic and avoid any sexual drama]

Reasons it’s difficult to be friends with the opposite sex

In theory, males and females having a platonic friendship shouldn’t be a big deal. After all, they are just two human beings who like each other’s personalities. So why does it have be complicated?

In the classic movie *from the last century!* When Harry Met Sally, the main character, Harry, declares that “men and women can never really be friends because sex always gets in the way.” And Sally, whom he has just met, argues with him and says that is not true.

So, which one is it? Can men and women really just have a platonic friendship without sex getting in the way?

It depends on the people. So, if you want to know how to make guy friends, let’s first explore some of the reasons it’s difficult to be friends with someone of the opposite sex.

Believe it or not, researchers have studied this. And some of the general findings suggest that when men and women are friends, the relationship can face a number of different challenges that you don’t find in same-sex friendships.

[Read: What are the unbreakable rules of opposite-gender friendships?]

1. Sexual attraction

The most obvious difficulty is the possible sexual attraction either by one party or both. Let’s face it, our genetics drive physical attraction, and so the likelihood that at least one person will feel romantic toward the other is very high.

Researchers have argued that, contrary to social norms and rules, humans are not programmed to be monogamous. Thus, we can be attracted to multiple people at once, including our “platonic friends.”

Yes, people can certainly resist their urges. But it can be difficult. Perhaps it’s like holding a beach ball under the water. You can hold it down for a while, but eventually, it will come bouncing back up to the surface.

This is the risk you run when one or both people are suppressing feelings of sexual attraction. The sexual tension is always there, and it’s almost like a ticking time bomb that is ready to go off at any minute. [Read: What do guys think of their female friends? 15 honest secrets revealed]

2. Different expectations

Another challenge arises when people have two different expectations from the friendship.

For example, maybe the woman thinks that it’s no big deal to watch a movie on the couch and cuddle. To her, that might be a platonic thing. She may even do it with her girlfriends.

However, perhaps the man is very uncomfortable with this. The close physical contact will make him desire her in a more sexual way. And without clear communication, this could become a problem. [Read: 15 cuddle buddy rules to avoid turning into f*ck buddies]

One other example of differing expectations could be the frequency of communication. Maybe the person who is sexually attracted to the other wants to be in contact 24/7. But if the other friend doesn’t have any romantic feelings, they may shy away from so much communication.

In other words, there needs to be some clear communication and negotiation of boundaries when it comes to having a friend of the opposite sex. [Read: Sexual tension between friends – How to handle it like a platonic pro]

3. Significant others

Another problem is what if one of the people is in a romantic relationship or even married? These situations present some tricky things that need to be dealt with.

In this case, there should be a lot of communication and boundaries that are set in the friendship so it respects the person’s/people’s significant other. [Read: The 9 vital boundaries your boyfriend’s female friend must follow]

In reality, when someone is in a romantic relationship and they have a close friend of the opposite sex, this can cause one or both of the people some emotional pain. This is something to remember when you are trying to make guy friends.

If you are in a romantic relationship with someone and your partner had a platonic friend of the opposite sex, this can create a lot of feelings of insecurity and jealousy. If the lines of communication don’t stay open, then the feelings of disrespect and mistrust can grow. In fact, some people feel like it’s a downright betrayal or even emotional cheating.

When one is single, and the other one is not, this creates even more issues. At least if they are both in romantic relationships, the temptation will not be as strong because there are two people who are resisting attraction. [Read: Emotional cheating vs. friendship – The point when a line is crossed]

But when only one friend is single, then the dynamic is lop-sided. The single one might be jealous of their friend’s significant other. They might even secretly fall in love with the committed friend. This emotional attraction can really get in the way of having a healthy platonic friendship.

However, an interesting bit of research does suggest that it works better if the man is single and the woman is in a romantic relationship. Because when it’s the other way around *the woman is single and the man is in a relationship* then the man will be a bit more tempted to cheat on their significant other. Not that a woman won’t cheat, it’s just that the likelihood is less. [Read: The guy best friend – Is he good or nothing but trouble for a friend?]

4. Length of friendship

Finally, if you want to make guy friends, it’s important to realize that how long two people have been friends can have an impact on whether or not an opposite-sex friendship can stay platonic.

Think about it. If you met a friend in kindergarten, then you probably never really saw them in a romantic way. They could be more of like a brother or sister to you if you have known them all your life.

If two people have gone years or decades and only been platonic, then the chances of it remaining that way is pretty high.

On the other hand, if it’s a new friend, that could be trickier. The newness of anything can be like a drug. Just like when you first start dating someone, the sexual chemistry can be off the charts. Well, the same can be true of friendships too.

[Read: How to be friends with a guy – 16 friendly ways to just stay platonic]

Guy friends can sometimes be the problem

Not all guys have issues when it comes to trying to be platonic friends. However, there are some out there that, no matter what, will try to have some sort of sexual relationship that’s less than innocent with a girl – even if she’s doing everything right.

When that happens, you really just have to accept the fact that those guys don’t want anything but your body. It sucks, but it’s reality. Those aren’t guys you truly want to be friends with, anyway. [Read: 10 creepy guy types you need to avoid talking to]

How to make guy friends without fear they’ll try to get you in bed

If you’re an attractive woman, this is going to be very hard. Unless you’ve grown up with many guy friends, it’s difficult to actually make them later on. Here’s how you can still have male friends without worrying about them trying to get with you.

1. Don’t flirt

The second you flirt *even innocently for fun*, you open the door to everything but a platonic relationship. It’s stupid, but that’s how guys are. If they sense that you’re into them, they’ll immediately latch on to that and hold out hope.

It can be difficult to avoid flirting if you’re naturally a flirtatious person. Your best bet is to just think a little harder about what you say and the way you say it if you just want the guys to think of you as a friend. [Read: 15 flirting signs to instantly know if someone is flirting with you]

2. Talk about interests

Try to appeal to them on a level that their friends would. Don’t talk about stuff you’d discuss with a crush.

Instead, focus on talking about something they’ll want to talk a lot about. Let them carry the conversation in this sense. Bring up their interests and let them do the talking.

3. Avoid any discussion of relationship matters at first

If you want to know how to make guy friends, the fastest way to get a guy to think of you as a girlfriend and not just a friend is by talking about relationships or sex. The second you bring it up, he’ll start to wonder what you’d be like – as a partner or as someone to have sex with.

That’s not good for you. He might decide you’d make a great girlfriend and from that moment on, he won’t treat you platonically. He’ll put on his boyfriend pants and try to woo you.

Just avoid relationship talk so he won’t even think about it. [Read: 21 easy-to-recognize signs your male friend has feelings for you]

4. Make your intentions very clear

And be more clear than you think you need to be, but don’t go overboard or they’ll get offended. If you repeatedly say you don’t like him like that, it’ll get super annoying and offensive.

Instead, just make your point and make it very clear, but only once or twice. Once that point is across, they’ll have a hard time trying to have anything with you since they know you definitely won’t be into it.

5. Open up a little

You can be vulnerable with them, but you have to remember not to get mushy and girly. Guys aren’t like girls. You can’t really talk about the same things on the same levels you can with other girls.

But you can definitely open up to the guys and talk a little bit more about yourself. This shows them that you trust them and once they feel that, they won’t want to betray it. [Read: How to get someone to open up so you can really connect]

6. Ignore any jokes at the expense of you being a female

They will make them. They might even try to make some sexual jokes but you just have to ignore it. If you don’t pay any mind to it, they’ll realize it and stop. But reacting to them will only fuel their fire.

7. Insult them

This can’t be done right away, for obvious reasons, but after you’ve been friends for a while, insult them a bit. Poke fun at one guy in front of his friends. This shows that you’re not into him and aren’t really concerned if you hurt his feelings.

Get a feel for the way they insult each other and just get in on the fun. This helps you feel like, “one of the guys” and they’ll see you this way, too. [Read: 33 creative insults to intellectually insult someone with sarcasm]

8. Don’t worry about how you look

Because if you’re not looking to date any of them, does it really matter? If you’re dressing to the nines and smelling like you just stepped out of a candy store, guys will assume you want the girly attention.

If you’re only looking to be friends with them, avoid looking your best all the time. You can definitely dress comfortably and in something you like, but if they sense you’re trying too hard, the game is over. [Read: 20 signs a guy just wants to be friends even if you’re hoping for more]

9. Don’t be overly interested in their lives

It’s fine to want to know what’s going on, but if you ask too many deep questions, they’ll think you’re into them. And that won’t help you keep things platonic if you want to make guy friends.

If they mention something of importance in their life, go ahead and ask them to elaborate. You just want to avoid questions that would delve into relationship territory. [Read: Are you more than friends already? 17 signs to know for sure]

10. Have something to offer

You have to have a reason for them to keep you around. This isn’t to say you have to bring brownies every time you visit them but to offer something. If all you do is sit and complain about girly stuff, they won’t want to be your friend in the first place.

11. Be really funny

Guys in general really like a girl who’s funny. If you can make them laugh, they’ll want you to be around for a long time. Work on your guy humor and focus on jokes that poke fun at them and mesh with their senses of humor. [Read: How to be funny around guys and make them crave your company all the time]

12. Accept that some guys just can’t be friends with girls

This is entirely their fault, not yours.

Some guys see a girl trying to be friends and automatically assume they want to date them. There are certain guys who just can’t be friends with a girl. You just have to accept that and move on if it’s the case with the guys you want to be friends with.

[Read: Romantic hug vs friendly hug – How to decode a guy’s hug instantly]

Knowing how to make guy friends can come in handy if you’re the type who doesn’t particularly like or get along with many other women. These tips can help you make friends while also ensuring they don’t try to get with you.

Check these out next!

26 signs a guy friend likes you romantically even if he’s trying to hide it

Friendly sex? 20 hushed signs your guy friend definitely wants to have sex with you

Are we just friends or is he interested in something more? 16 clears signs to decode his mind