How to Make a Guy Lose Interest in You: You’re Just Not into Him

You have a guy that’s really interested in you, but you don’t feel the same way. So, let’s find out how to make a guy lose interest in you.

You know, I rarely get requests and messages from people asking me how to make a guy lose interest in you. Usually, you’re asking me how to win someone’s heart or make someone fall in love with them.

So, I was pretty surprised to hear women wanted to know how to make someone lose interest in them. But, I think we’ve all had at least one experience where someone is really into us, but we don’t feel the same way.

Maybe we were curious at first, but after getting to know them, we realize it wouldn’t be a good match. While you know this, it’s not so easy to communicate these feelings.

[Read: Turning him down politely: The nice girl guide]

How to make a guy lose interest in you

Listen, don’t string this guy along. If you don’t want anything to happen between you two, you should cut the cord. I know it sounds harsh, but if you want him to get a clear message you’re not interested, let him know how you feel.

So, wondering how to make a guy lose interest in you, here’s what you should do and shouldn’t do. Just because you don’t like him, doesn’t mean you should traumatize him. Are you ready? Let’s get started.

#1 Understand what you want. I’ve seen friends tell me they’re not interested in a guy, yet, weeks later, they’re trying to make him jealous and playing hard to get. Be honest with yourself and make a firm decision on how you feel about this guy.

Yes, he likes you, but do you like him or not? If you secretly have feelings for him, then why not explore them? If you really aren’t interested, then decide you won’t play games. [Read: Are afraid of catching feelings? How to face and overcome your fears]

#2 Tell him you’re not interested. Listen, when someone likes you, they’re not going to suddenly lose interest in you. But, you should let them know how you feel about them. Be honest and open with your feelings, and tell him that you’re not interested. Sure, it may hurt his ego a bit, but it’s better than him chasing you around without knowing where he stands.

#3 If you feel comfortable, meet face-to-face. I’m not telling you to meet up with your stalker and tell him you’re not interested. Of course, decide how you choose to communicate with him based on your level of comfort with him.

If this is a friend and someone you respect, meet up with him and tell him how you feel. I know it’s hard, but over text or the phone, it’s easy to make room for miscommunication. [Read: How to nicely reject a guy]

#4 Don’t be hot and cold. Remember, you want him to lose interest in you. That’s why you should decide what you want. If you don’t know what you want, then you end up playing games. If you find yourself being hot and cold, stop what you’re doing and take a step back. Really consider what you want and how you feel about him.

#5 Don’t give him a lame excuse. No one wants to have this conversation, I get it. But, what’s even worse is when you have this conversation with a guy who likes you, and you’re not honest. I know you don’t want to be harsh, and you shouldn’t be, but don’t make up excuses either. These excuses will only make him feel worse and not give him the closure he needs to move on.

#6 Be direct. You don’t need to give him a list of his flaws, telling him what you like and don’t like about him. And you shouldn’t give him a five-minute speech about how you’ve been feeling, etc. Just get to the point. He knows what’s coming, you know what’s coming, so don’t prolong the torture. [Read: 14 no-fail ways to turn down any kind of guy]

#7 Let him talk. He may want to say something back to you. Don’t shut him down. Give him the opportunity for closure by telling you how he feels. That way, he’ll get what he wants to say off of his chest, and the process of moving on will be easier for him to handle. The people who struggle to move on are those who don’t get closure.

#8 Don’t ghost him. We’re not twelve-years-old. Do you know how horrible it feels to be ghosted by someone you like? I’ve had it happen to me, and it took me months to get over. I would have rather been told they’re not interested. If you’re too scared to meet him face-to-face, text him, telling him you’re not interested in him. Yes, it’ll sting, but it’s better than a ghosting.

#9 Don’t contact him. If you contact him, you’re playing games. Once you tell him you’re not interested, that’s it. If you agree to be friends after, give him time to process his feelings, and let him be the one to message you first. But, if this guy isn’t your friend, don’t contact him after this conversation.

#10 Don’t gossip about him. You’re not in the movie Mean Girls. There’s no need for you to gossip about him and shame him for his feelings. Rejection isn’t easy, and if you spread gossip, it’s a really horrible move on your part. Treat him with respect, and let him move on with dignity. 

#11 When you see him, act cordial. He doesn’t have a contagious disease, he’s just a guy you’re not interested in. Unless his behavior is scaring you *he’s yelling at you, or appearing to become violent*, act cordially with him. But don’t act too nice. We overcompensate when we know we hurt someone. And that can blur the lines all over again. Be nice, but a little distant. [Read: How to tell a guy you don’t like him in the nicest way possible]

#12 He’ll get over you with time. If he really liked you, it will take time for him to move on. The good thing, you’ve made it clear you’re not interested. The ball is in his court to get over you and move on to someone else. And he will, but he’ll need time. You can’t make his feelings change; he’s in control of his own feelings.

[Read: Are we friends or is he interested in me?]

I don’t get asked this every day, but if you want to know how to make a guy lose interest in you, follow these tips and you’ll get him to walk away real soon.