How to Know a Relationship is Over: 33 Signs It’s Over for Good

It’s heartbreaking when a breakup is about to occur. But how to know a relationship is over? Keep reading to know the signs it’s really over for good.

Being in a relationship undoubtedly has its ups and downs. When you hit a rough patch, it can be difficult to know whether it is just that—a tricky time but something you’ll get through, or the start of your relationship’s demise. Learning how to know a relationship is over helps you get out now before things turn really ugly.

It’s always difficult to accept when a relationship is about to go down in flames. No matter how much time and energy you put into the relationship, it can still end and fall apart. And honestly, no one enjoys a breakup!

If there is something worth fighting for there, it may be that you can still find a way to turn your relationship around and get back on track once more.

[Read: 15 gestures to bring back the love when the love is gone]

When does a relationship end?

A relationship ends when one or both people stop trying.

If you’re trying to figure out how to know a relationship is over, it doesn’t happen all at once. A relationship doesn’t just fall apart out of nowhere, but it falls apart because of the little things that build up to this massive problem. [Read: Time to let go? 14 reasons why good relationships end]

Especially when there’s no effective communication in the relationship, the relationship is bound to fall apart. Fights are normal in a relationship – healthy even. But when all you do is fight and quarrel about the same things repeatedly, then you’re both just waiting for the breaking point of when to call it quits.

When a relationship turns sour, bad, or especially toxic, it’s better to give up on the relationship rather than hurt yourself trying to mend things.

There are three vital factors to a relationship – trust, respect, and love. The minute one of these is broken, the structure of your relationship is also affected.

How to know if a relationship is over – 33 signals to help you decide

It is crucial not to confuse these feelings for ones where you simply don’t like the idea of being alone or don’t want to be single and start all over again. If you stay together, it has to be for the right reasons. Otherwise, you just waste more of your time, only to break up further down the line.

What are the indicators when it comes to understanding how to know a relationship is over? It can be difficult, but take a look at the signs below. If they sound like your relationship, it may well be time to call it quits.

[Read: When is it time to break up? 15 signs to know for sure if it’s time]

1. You bicker constantly

Constant fighting is no fun for anyone and suggests underlying issues. If you can’t get to the bottom of them, it may be time to say goodbye to your relationship.

One of the signs on how to know a relationship is over is when you constantly bicker and fight, even when it’s about minor things. [Read: How to know if your relationship is toxic so you can get out fast]

2. You fight about the same thing over and over

Even if fights and arguments are normal and acceptable in love, it’s exhausting to fight about the same things repeatedly. Are you always having the same fight? If you never resolve it, you probably will have the same fight forever.

Can you let it go, or will it drive you insane? So it’s either you sit down and talk about it once and for all or give up on the relationship. The choice is yours. [Read: 25 clues to know if relationship therapy will help your relationship]

3. You think about cheating

Do you keep thinking about other people and what it might be like to be with them instead? Do you fantasize about cheating, or have you ever got close to it in real life? If you feel this way, you need to take a long hard look at your relationship.

Perhaps, you would be better off calling it a day. Don’t wait for the day you really end up cheating before you call it quits and give up. Constantly fantasizing about cheating is a concrete red flag that something isn’t right with your relationship. [Read: What is cheating in a relationship? The truth most people ignore]

4. You have cheated

If you have cheated, you broke the trust of a relationship and didn’t respect your partner. You may have reasons why it happened, but your relationship is probably doomed unless you are honest with them and find a way to move forward.

So if you’re wondering how to know if a relationship is over, the fact that you cheated is one of the signs. You’re basically halfway out the door. [Read: Women who cheat – 10 surprising reasons they’re unfaithful]

5. You fantasize about a life without them

Are you constantly thinking how nice life would be without your partner? Does it feel like a weight off your mind? If so, it may be that you’d be better off without them.

If you’re happy with your relationship, you shouldn’t be fantasizing about a life without them in the picture. If you’re in love, it should be the other way around. Your partner should be making you feel so grateful that you can’t picture a life without them!

6. You have too little sex

Okay, so in a long-term relationship, everyone’s sex life cools off a little, but if you barely have sex anymore, it may be that the spark has gone. Sex allows you to express the love you have for one another in ways words can’t.

So if you’re not having sex, that’s an indicator of how to know a relationship is over. [Read: Sexless relationships – Why sex is just as important as love for a happily ever after]

7. You have too much sex

Sex might be essential, but it shouldn’t be everything in your relationship. Do you solve arguments through sex? Do you have sex rather than talk about things? Doesn’t sound very healthy, does it? Sex alone isn’t the answer to solving your problems.

All it’s doing is distracting both of you from sitting down and talking about your issues. There will come a time where your problems will haunt you, and sex will no longer work as a distraction. [Read: Too much sex? 15 signs to know if your sex life is well balanced]

8. You don’t spend any quality time together

You need to make time for one another in a relationship. If neither of you bothers to do this, you may be better off out of it.

Quality time is such an important aspect of relationships, no matter what your love language might be. If you don’t desire to spend time with each other anymore, there’s something off about your relationship.

9. You moan about them to your friends

When you meet up with your friends, do you just constantly moan about your partner to them? If they nudge you to break it off, it may be because they already know you two aren’t compatible with each other, or worse, they’re bored of listening to you go on about how bad things are!

If you’re looking for signs on how to know a relationship is over, it’s when all you do is complain to your friends.

10. You cry about them a lot

Do you find yourself crying a lot about the relationship? It doesn’t sound like you are very happy. Time to be alone? We’re pretty sure you aren’t dating an onion, so why are you crying so much?

So if you’re regularly crying in your relationship, that’s already a red flag that your relationship isn’t good for you! [Read: How to give someone space without losing them]

11. You don’t respect them

Ouch. Respect should go both ways in a healthy relationship so if you don’t respect them, that’s already an indicator. Respect is hugely important in a relationship.

But if you can work on this, then, by all means, go for it. Ask yourself what about your partner you don’t respect and take it from there. [Read: How to show respect in a relationship and love each other better]

12. You don’t trust them

Trust is another important factor. Without trust, what kind of relationship do you really have? A relationship is guaranteed to fall apart when there’s a lack of trust because that automatically means you don’t respect them or find them reliable.

If you’re wondering how to know a relationship is over, know that if don’t trust them, even if you try very hard to do so, that’s a very strong sign things aren’t looking too good. [Read: How to build trust in a relationship and make it last]

13. You make big decisions without them

A successful relationship is one where you share big decisions with each other and includes one another in every aspect of your lives.

If you can’t do this, then you need to move on to someone else. This means you either don’t respect them enough to make decisions with you, or you don’t value them enough. Either way, it’s best to call it quits.

14. You put them down all the time

If you constantly pass snide remarks about your partner, knocking their confidence or putting them down, you need to ask yourself why. We’re sure you didn’t do this at the beginning of your relationship, so why do it now?

Perhaps you simply don’t like them anymore! This should be obvious by now, but a relationship requires you to like them as a person. Otherwise, what’s the point? [Read: 18 emotions you should never feel in a healthy relationship]

15. They put you down all the time

As above, if you constantly receive criticism from your partner, you might be better off out of it. If your partner sees your flaws more than your best assets, it clearly shows they don’t think you’re good enough for them.

It just means they’re the wrong person for you, and this is something you shouldn’t tolerate further. [Read: People who put you down – How to face them and grow from within]

16. You are mean to one another

If you are deliberately spiteful and mean to one another, you should ask yourself why you want to stay in a relationship like that? You could end up being bitter and angry or really hurting them, and that’s no good for anyone. So if you find that you’re mean and not in a playful and joking way, it’s time to call it quits.

17. You make jokes at each other’s expense

There are generally healthy relationships where jokes are okay, especially if they’re also your best friend. But if you always mock one another, this gets pretty draining and feels as though they aren’t on your side. Mocking is different from making jokes, so you need to learn the difference.

18. You don’t know what to say anymore

Have you run out of things to say to one another? Do you feel like you can’t even be bothered to talk anymore? It sounds like your relationship has run out of steam.

If your relationship has lost that spark and normal flow of conversation, it’s time to rethink things. The lack of conversation is enough to make a relationship stale. It’s either you ignite your spark once again or call it quits. [Read: 15 very common reasons why you’re getting bored with your relationship]

19. You don’t support one another

A good relationship means supporting one another and being each other’s biggest fan. If you don’t feel this way about your partner, perhaps you would be better off with someone else.

Having a supportive partner is everything in a relationship. So if you’re wondering how to know a relationship is over, observe if there’s a mutual flow of support. [Read: 10 signs your partner is truly supportive of your goals]

20. You don’t feel happy

Really ask yourself whether you are happy? If you aren’t, choose something different. While you can’t be happy 24/7 in a relationship, you should at least be happy most of the time.

They must bring joy to your life the majority of the time. If not, ask yourself why that is and if it’s something you can fix. [Read: Not happy in a relationship? How to choose the right path for you]

21. You play the blame game

If you feel like nothing is your fault and everything is theirs and they feel the same about you, you clearly get nowhere. Time to call time out on your relationship.

It takes two for a relationship to be over, so if both of you are putting the weight of the blame on the other person, it might be time to give up. [Read: 7 reasons why playing victim makes your life worse]

22. You’ve stopped being affectionate

Look, affection isn’t everything in a relationship. But if you’re asking how to know if a relationship is over, it’s a pretty massive indicator if the love is still present or not.

If you never hold hands, cuddle, or show affection towards one another, you have grown apart. It may be too late to pull it back together. [Read: The 15 ways PDA can save your relationship]

23. You find it hard to think of the good things

If you struggle to think of the good things about your relationship or partner, this could be a sign your relationship is inching towards its end. A relationship should be filled with good memories and the bad, so there should at least be as many good ones than bad, if not way more.

If you can’t come up with anything good, maybe you’re already at the point where the bad outweighs the good so much that the bad is blinding you of the good memories you had with them.

24. You think about ending it all the time

This is a clear red flag when it comes to telling how to know a relationship is over. If you think about ending the relationship all the time and constantly come up with reasons why you should, it might be time to bite the bullet and just get it over with.

Maybe the reason you have this thought all the time is because it’s practically over for you in your own head and you’re just biding your time. [Read: How to break up with someone you love – 18 steps & the things to say]

25. You intentionally sabotage the relationship

Are you deliberately sabotaging your own relationship so they’ll break up with you? If so, just be brave and do it yourself. When you self-sabotage the relationship, that is never a good sign of anything.

It means you’re either looking for a way out or you’re seeing if the relationship is still worth fighting for. [Read: Sabotaging your happiness – 12 ways you can ruin your life]

26. You want different things

Having life goals that are in some way aligned is really important. If yours aren’t, you’ll probably end up moving in different directions anyway. Despite the popular phrase that opposites attract, you’ll end up clashing eventually.

Or worse, one of you would be forced to adjust for the other, which can lead to a lot of resentment for the person that adjusts.

27. You never laugh together

Having fun and laughter in your relationships keeps things flirty, happy, and the spark alive. If you never laugh together anymore, it’s time to put an end to it.

This is why they say that the best feeling is when your partner is also your best friend. If you no longer laugh with them, that’s how to know a relationship is over. [Read: Loving someone with depression and why it’s not your job to fix them]

28. You fall out of love

This is probably the sign that hurts most in this list because you never see it coming. Falling out of love happens, and it’s often out of your control. It’s slow and gradual, until you just wake up one day and realize you’ve fallen out of love.

The question you should ask is, is there something you can do to bring back the spark or is there no use trying anymore? [Read: Feeling trapped in a relationship? Should you stay or break free?]

29. You feel alone in their company

When you feel like you’re alone and you miss them, even when you’re in the same room with them, that’s when it’s over. This feeling hurts like a b*tch because it generally means your relationship is different.

Maybe you feel neglected in a particular aspect or something else entirely, but they make you feel more alone. [Read: 15 revealing truths about feeling alone in a relationship]

30. There’s a lack of effort

When one or both of you stop trying to make the relationship work, that’s how to know a relationship is over. This means you both practically gave up on the relationship, and there’s no use putting in the work any longer. Also, you only put in effort for the things you care about. The moment this is gone, so is the relationship.

31. You no longer work as a team

Relationships are about partnerships, so if this dynamic changes, things could mean game over for the both of you. It means that you’re either more focused on being a lone wolf, or you no longer see them as your partner.

Both things are bad for the relationship and will eventually lead to the end for both of you. [Read: 15 rules to be a good partner in a relationship & wow your lover]

32. You don’t see a future with them

This really hurts as we never see it coming. But one day, the future you envision for yourself changes, and maybe your partner is no longer part of that. So if there’s a lack of future together and it’s just not something you see anymore, that’s how to know a relationship is over. [Read: How to fall out of love when you see no future]

33. The relationship has become toxic

If there’s any form of manipulation, toxicity, gaslighting, or abuse in the relationship, things are automatically over.

Of course, it’s easy to think that maybe it’s just a rough patch, but how long are you going to convince yourself of that lie. A toxic relationship can’t become healthy, not unless both of you really work towards that goal.

[Read: 15 signs of a toxic relationship that’ll go from bad to worse]

So, how to know a relationship is over?

These signs above are how you can know if your relationship is on the verge of falling apart. Relationships never end overnight, and it’s usually a buildup of the minor things that become a significant problem in your relationship. Now you both have two choices from here- either you both attempt to fix the problem together, or let go.

[Read: 24 critical signs of an unhealthy relationship]

If you look at your relationship and honestly say many of these signs apply to you, it can help you understand how to know a relationship is over and truly help you move on. Sometimes it really is better to let go than hurt yourself holding on to a relationship that’s already over.